Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
Jose Canseco (HOS) & Mark McGwire (ROR) on steroids in baseball
— Funny look on Rob as Mark McGwire.
— Some good laughs from Rob’s McGwire trying to work around answering Darrell-as-Chris-Matthews’ steroid questions by always claiming Matthews asked his questions in the past, and thus, he doesn’t have to answer it.
— I like Kenan’s Sammy Sosa suddenly dropping his fake accent when he thinks he’s off-camera.
— The bits with Horatio’s Jose Canseco are falling incresingly flat.
— Will’s Zell Miller!
— As always, reliably priceless insane shouting from Will’s Miller here, though his dialogue kinda fizzled out towards the end, and he didn’t seem to get anywhere near as purple-faced during his yelling this time (the last above screencap for this cold opening).
STARS: ***
MONOLOGUE
host & old-woman girlfriend Demi Moore [real] pooh-pooh age differential
— A monologue that I recall being memorable and very popular back when this originally aired.
— The huge exaggeration of the age difference between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore is a premise that I like, and it’s being executed well. I particularly like the way Demi is playing this.
STARS: ***½
ME-HARMONY.COM
Rerun from 2/12/05
OPRAH
John Travolta (DAH) & Julia Roberts (host) bump victim (RAD)
— Amy’s dramatics from the audience are pretty funny so far.
— This appears to be using the same premise as that awful Wake Up San Diego sketch from earlier this season, in which the guest of a talk show is someone who’s house recently burned down (Kenan) and they’re about to be given a gift from the show’s host, which the guest expects to be a new house, only for it to end up being some superficial gift that the guest is disappointed by.
— OH, NO. Not the return of Darrell’s terrible and baffling John Travolta impression.
— Ashton in drag as Julia Roberts? Blah. I do remember someone back at this time in 2005 pointing out how when Ashton entered this sketch as Julia Roberts, he looked eerily like then-recent SNL host Hilary Swank. I can see that.
— Boy, am I not caring for this sketch AT ALL. Not even the reliable Rachel Dratch can save this.
— The over-the-top reactions from Amy in the audience are now starting to come off as a very inferior version of the famous Oprah’s Favorite Things sketch from the preceding season’s Megan Mullally episode.
STARS: *
PUSH-UP CONTEST
(host)’s scheme to instigate an office push-up contest backfires on him
— Hoo, boy. I recall this being a sketch that I hated back when it originally aired, but quite a number of other online SNL fans seemed to really like this sketch. Let’s see how I feel about it now, 15 years later.
— Ugh, I’m already starting to see one of the reasons why I hated this sketch back when it originally aired: Ashton’s delivery throughout this sketch is FUCKING ANNOYING.
— Did they screw up the timing of the clock cutaway when Rachel was about to start her push-ups? They seemed to cut to the clock too early, then briefly cut back to Rachel, who actually hadn’t yet started her push-ups, only to then cut back to the same shot of the clock.
— Yeah, I’m not caring for the structure of this sketch at all, nor the execution of it. This feels boringly repetitive to me, and you get the point of it early on.
— Okay, I did get a laugh from how Ashton’s desperate claim about how they need to get back to work is immediately followed by Chris saying “Don’t worry about it. I’m your supervisor, we’ve got time.”
— The paddleball ending fell flat.
— Overall, it turns out my opinion of this sketch hasn’t changed at all, and I continue to be baffled over why this sketch was so well-liked by SNL fans back in the day (is it still well-liked today?).
STARS: *½
FEDERLINE
Kevin Federline (host) models his line of underwear in bed
— A pretty funny portrayal of that tool Kevin Federline.
— Well-shot commercial.
STARS: ***½
GAYS IN SPACE
crashed ship leads to encounter with studly (SEM) & (ROR)
— OHHH, GOD.
— (*groan*) And there goes season 30’s obligatory weekly instance of Maya singing.
— Overall, nothing to really say about what I just watched. Same deal as the previous time this sketch appeared, where I didn’t get so much as a mere chuckle at this marathon of unfunny gay stereotypes.
STARS: *
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Eve [real] perform “Rich Girl”
WEEKEND UPDATE
consumer advocate Henry Payne (KET) settles a complaint with violence
CHP’s ostensible Demi Moore rap veers into his attraction to host
— Ugh, after thankfully moving away from their newfound Daily Show-esque habit of replying to a news clip, the Fey/Poehler era of Update unfortunately reprises it tonight, with an unfunny bit involving Tina and Amy responding to various clips of Robert Blake’s post-acquittal speech. Hell, the actual Robert Blake clips are funnier than any of Tina or Amy’s lame responses to them.
— Hmm, Kenan’s commentary seems like it will be an interesting change of pace for Update, as it had an out-of-the-ordinary set-up.
— Interesting use of Ashton here.
— Meh, Kenan’s segment ended up being nothing great. This seemed like it was going to be much better.
— Yeesh, a lot of particularly weak jokes from Tina and Amy tonight, even weaker than usual. Even the audience’s reactions to some of these jokes are tepid.
— Looks like we’re in for another Chris Parnell Update rap. Not sure whether to look forward to this, after how underwhelming Chris’ last Update rap was, from the Jennifer Garner episode in season 28.
— Very mixed feelings on this rap that Chris is doing right now. Part of me appreciates the change of pace with Chris actually rapping about a man this time, and how over the top he’s going with it in his lyrics, but another part of me just finds this to be YET ANOTHER example of season 30 focusing way too heavily on hacky gay/homoerotic humor for cheap laughs. And do we need A BAZILLION reminders throughout this song that Chris is a heterosexual man (though I know that’s the point)? Oh, and I still say Chris’ best raps are his faster-tempo, more hardcore ones, rather than the slower-tempo, more R&B ones like tonight’s and the Jennifer Garner one.
— Yeah, the more and more Chris’ Ashton Kutcher rap goes on, the more and more I feel this is DEFINITELY not working for me.
— And to make me dislike Chris’ rap even more, we now get the added “humor” of Tina and Amy acting as backup singers/dancers during Chris’ rap.
STARS: *½
CHURCH
at a black church, staid white guest preacher (host) gets into the spirit
— Ugh. There goes Maya using that always-annoying “phlegmy-throated old black lady” voice. I’m telling you guys, Maya has been increasingly getting on my nerves these past few episodes.
— I really like Finesse’s performance here.
— A good use of Ashton’s typical energy, which is coming off enjoyable and welcome in this particular sketch.
— The gag with Ashton jumping out the window was ruined by a technical gaffe in which the camera stayed on the wrong shot by accident.
— After a good first half, this overall sketch started fizzling out a little towards the end, and something about the sketch left me feeling a little wanting.
STARS: **½
ACTION 13 NEWS
fight between anchor (host) & weatherman (SEM) derails local newscast
— I remember someone on an SNL message board back at this time in 2005 complaining that Ashton’s voice in this sketch was so obviously an imitation of Will Ferrell’s voice from the movie Anchorman, which came out the year prior. I kinda see some vocal similarities, but I’m not gonna say anything further.
— Oh, I like this premise with Seth as a bitter, unprofessional weatherman giving zero fucks and just saying whatever the hell he wants.
— Funny cutaway to a speechless Horatio with a sour facial expression immediately after a comment from Amy complaining to Seth about his unromantic choice in the past to take her on a date to Applebees.
— A great frightened little yelp from Seth when Ashton starts to come running for him.
— The portion of this sketch with Ashton chasing Seth around the studio during a newscast is a riot.
— A great sudden tackle of Seth from Ashton diving into the shot out of nowhere.
— An overall fun and solid sketch that’s probably forgotten by most SNL fans nowadays.
STARS: ****
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Hollaback Girl”
NEBULZITOL
(AMP) uses Nebulzitol to cure her husband (WLF) of March Madness
— As I mentioned in my review of the Delta Burke episode from season 16, the Balz-Off commercial from that episode would later be ripped-off in the Ashton Kutcher episode I’m currently reviewing. This Nebulzitol sketch is the rip-off in question. As I also implied in my afore-linked review of the Balz-Off commercial, there’s a certain writer who I have a feeling is the culprit of this possible plagiarism, given what I mentioned about there being multiple instances of this certain writer getting publicly accused of plagiarism for some other sketches he wrote. As you may have already guessed after my review of the Self-Involved Guy sketch from the Adrien Brody episode, the writer in question is James Anderson. However, given how I almost always seem to get proven wrong in the comments section whenever I assume James Anderson wrote a sketch, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m wrong once again here.
— Yeah, the structure of this sketch is way too similar to Balz-Off to NOT be a direct rip-off. And some aspects of this sketch do have a rather James Anderson vibe to it (particularly the bit about The View).
— Overall, even if this sketch wasn’t a direct rip-off (but I still say it is), this sketch felt VERY inferior to the original Balz-Off. I wonder how I’d feel about this sketch if I had no knowledge of Balz-Off and assumed this was an original idea.
STARS: *½
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A typical bad season 30 episode. Aside from a few things (only one of which stands out as particularly great to me: the Action 13 News sketch), this overall episode had a very forgettable feel. And there were quite a number of things that I strongly disliked.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (David Spade)
a big step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Cameron Diaz