Month: June 2020

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April 15, 2006 – Lindsay Lohan / Pearl Jam (S31 E16)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE SITUATION ROOM
staff turnover yields presidential spokesteen (host)

— I’m surprised to find myself loving that opening theme music of The Situation Room. Catchy and epic.
— This season, SNL seems to be attempting lots of replacements for the phased-out Hardball sketches. In just one season, we’ve gotten non-Hardball political talking head show sketches like Anderson Cooper 360, The O’Reilly Factor, and now The Situation Room, none of which end up enjoying anywhere near the long-term success that the Hardball sketches enjoyed in their prime.
— Nice to see big roles for newbies Jason and Kristen right at top of tonight’s episode.
— Kristen’s delivery of many of her lines is making me laugh. She’s always reliable at getting laughs out of low-key roles like this.
— Meh, not caring for the comedic conceit of Lindsay Lohan’s character during her press conference. After the first minute of this scene, after you’ve gotten the joke, Lindsay’s lines have stopped getting much laughs.
— Yikes, Lindsay’s voice is so unsettlingly scratchy and raspy tonight that it almost completely gave out when she said “Night” at the end of her “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” I remember on an online SNL message board, during a discussion of this episode right after it originally aired, a board member comically addressed Lindsay’s scratchy, raspy voice by saying “Hmm, I didn’t know Harvey Fierstein was appearing on SNL tonight.”
STARS: **½


MONOLOGUE
host lectures drunk Easter Bunny (KET) about his excessive partying

— Didn’t care for Lindsay’s self-deprecating opening joke, “I think I hosted SNL more times than I’ve wrecked my car.”
— A bit of an odd use of Kenan at this point of his SNL tenure.
— Not caring for the writing of this, and Kenan’s performance is actually fairly irritating and unfunny.
— Blah, Lindsay’s second attempt at self-deprecating humor in this monologue, with her sternly giving the Easter Bunny an intervention (which Lindsay herself was reportedly given backstage at SNL immediately after hosting the preceding season’s finale), is falling flat.
STARS: *½


NEUTROGENA COIN SLOT CREAM
low-cut pants call for Neutrogena Coin Slot Cream buttcrack moisturizer

— Is there any real joke to this, besides the idea of a moisturizer cream for buttcracks, which isn’t exactly something funny enough to base an entire commercial spoof on? Feels kinda like a leftover premise from the awful season 30.
— I will at least give this credit for accurately imitating the visual style of typical Neutrogena commercials, which is the closest to a positive thing I can say about this.
— Overall, blah.
STARS: *


DEEP HOUSE DISH
boring Tiara Zee (RAD) grooves to divas (AMP) & (host)

— (*sigh*) Tonight’s episode had ALREADY not been doing it for me, and now SNL throws THIS recurring sketch at me? You readers probably already know what my reaction to seeing this sketch pop up tonight is. Actually, in my reviews in this SNL project, I haven’t been hating these Deep House Dish sketches as much as I did when they originally aired; I’ve just been extremely meh on these sketches in my reviews, which, while still negative, is at least somewhat of a step up from my seething hatred for these sketches when they originally aired.
— (*sighs again*) Cue the one part of this sketch that I still do hate: the constant, repetitive, and unfunny “Ooh-wee, Tiara, that was so boring”s.
— Hmm, kinda interesting how Fred and Bill are reprising their Jake Gyllenhaal-obsessed singing duo from an earlier Deep House Dish sketch.
— Why weren’t Fred and Bill interviewed after their song, like singers in these sketches usually are?
— I think I spoke too soon about not hating these Deep House Dish sketches anymore, because I have not gotten a single shred of enjoyment from ANYTHING in tonight’s Deep House Dish installment. Either my fatigue towards these sketches has finally set in, or perhaps tonight’s DHD installment just seems worse to me because this episode in general has been putting me in a very bored mood so far.
STARS: *


TV FUNHOUSE
by RBS- kids’ Journey To The Disney Vault reveals unsettling Walt secrets

— During the listing-off of fictional direct-to-DVD Disney sequels, I love how one of them is Bambi 2002, a previous TV Funhouse from season 27.
— A laugh from the quick “101 Fellations” gag, which seems like a variation of the “Pokahotass” gag from the aforementioned TV Funhouse, Bambi 2002. Also, a few days before tonight’s episode originally aired, this 101 Fellations bit was heavily hyped in an online article as something big that would be airing on SNL that weekend and would be including a famous porn star (who’s name I can’t remember at the moment) as one of the “dalmatian” women. One portion of that article interviewed the porn star about the 101 Fellations bit, and the way she described it made it seem like it was going to be an entire full-fledged segment. She went into a whole bunch of detail about the plot and all the various characterizations, as if it was going to be some huge, fleshed-out, standalone segment. Cut to a few nights later when this episode is airing live, and I’m sitting in my living room watching the show like normal, and I find myself utterly baffled to see that 101 Fellations was nothing more than a brief two-second cutaway gag, with no so-called plot or characterizations to speak of. WTF??? Did Robert Smigel originally film 101 Fellations as an entire fleshed-out segment, but ended up editing it down to just a two-second gag, or was the aforementioned porn star just full of shit in that interview?
— I love the voice for the little girl.
— The extremely un-PC “very original version” of Song Of The South is so wrong, but absolutely HILARIOUS.
— A huge laugh from the kids incredulously asking Mickey Mouse “You’re supposed to be FUNNY?!?”
— Great bit with one of the kids finding a still-alive Jim Henson and a Kermit puppet bound and gagged to a chair, which results in Mickey Mouse breaking down in tears while yelling “He wouldn’t sell! He wouldn’t seeeeeeelllllllll!”
— Overall, not only a very strong TV Funhouse, but leave it to Smigel to deliver the first actual good segment in this episode so far.
STARS: ****½


THE O’REILLY FACTOR
Seymour Hersh (FRA) & Newt Gingrich (WLF)

— Shortly after I mentioned SNL’s various failed attempts to replace Hardball as their regular political talking heads show sketch, here’s another one of them tonight. Do we really need this AND The Situation Room in the same episode?
— Feels kinda odd seeing Will play Newt Gingrich.
— I’m starting to get tired of these O’Reilly Factor sketches, as well as Darrell’s non-attempt at sounding like Bill O’Reilly. I know his impression eventually gets better, but it has yet to happen by this point.
— I did get a chuckle from the bit right now with Darrell’s O’Reilly, during a back-and-forth disagreement with Will’s Gingrich, childishly saying an increasingly loud “Yes they are, yes they are, yes they are, YES THEY AAARRRRE!”, and then, after a beat, finishing it off with a soft-spoken and modestly-delivered “Yes they are” while lightly emphasizing his point with his hand.
— I like Will-as-Gingrich’s “last word” being him telling O’Reilly “You gotta read some books, man.”
— The “A-1 dickface” bit in one letter in the mailbag is pretty funny.
STARS: **½


CHOCOLATE CAKE
rich chocolate dessert stirs diners’ (host), (JAS), (RAD), (FRA) emotions

— Much like the Wind sketch from this season’s Jack Black episode, this is another sketch that I recall a few online SNL fans back at this time making comparisons to the dreaded Hot Plates sketch from the preceding season. I recall strongly disagreeing with those comparisons, but we’ll see.
— Jason’s insane reactions to the great taste of the cake are hilarious.
— A lot of increasingly fun maniacal reactions from each person at the table. Jason is definitely running away with this sketch with his reactions, though. He’s phenomenal here.
— I love how one of Fred’s reactions has him tightly tying a belt around his neck.
— A particularly strong and perfectly-timed moment from Jason, where, after Lindsay spins a dummy of him around and then throws it onto the ground behind the table, he IMMEDIATELY hops up high in the air from behind the table and casually dusts himself off, which was SO damn impressive that even the audience applauded.
— Overall, a fun, silly, and well-performed sketch that I pretty much loved. And, unlike the aforementioned Wind sketch with Jack Black, I can actually now kinda see why people compared this to Hot Plates, but this was miles better. This sketch was pretty much what Hot Plates should’ve been.
— I’m not 100% sure, but I think this sketch would later be replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, though off the top of my head, I can’t remember if there were any major differences between it and the live version.
— Speaking of reruns, I recall once catching this sketch a few years ago in a syndicated 60-minute rerun on a cable channel (can’t remember which channel), and this sketch was sped-up so badly in that version that it was pretty much impossible to follow what was going on. Does anyone else remember seeing this sped-up version?
STARS: ****


LASER CATS!
ANS & BIH pitch low-budget feline sci-fi movie to LOM

— Good to see Andy and Bill front and center here, after the extremely-little-to-no-airtime they received in the preceding episode.
— Our very first Laser Cats short, which would go on to be a once-a-year tradition during Andy’s entire SNL tenure.
— Very fun how the extremely cheesy, low-budget action that started in an outdoors park is now taking place in SNL’s backstage, and how there’s no attempt to hide the NBC and SNL-related visuals in the background.
— Funny cutaway to a very deadpan Lorne watching this inane Laser Cats short on the TV.
— When Lindsay refuses to say she’ll have sex with either Andy or Bill, I love the sudden and sloppy splicing-in of a shot of Rachel sitting in Lindsay’s place while wearing a Lindsay Lohan wig and saying “I’ll have sex with both of you guys.”
— The “Get out” ending with Lorne was funny, though it’s something that would be repeated at the end of EVERY SINGLE subsequent Laser Cats short, and doesn’t work for me as a repeated ending gag.
— Overall, lots of good dumb fun all throughout this short. Solid debut for these Laser Cats shorts.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “World Wide Suicide”


WEEKEND UPDATE
meteorologist Stormy Windbreaker (SEM) forecasts apocalyptic weather

American Idol contestant Taylor Hicks (JAS) is full of enthusiasm

— After how increasingly hoarse her voice sounded over the course of the preceding episode, Amy’s voice still sounds slightly on the hoarse side tonight, but definitely nowhere near as bad. I’m also glad SNL hasn’t been overworking her tonight like they did in the preceding episode.
— Seth’s meteorologist segment is a good change of pace for Update. By the way, I think this ends up being Seth’s final appearance on Update before he takes over as Amy’s new Update co-anchor the following season.
— Seth is very solid in this commentary, and he has a lot of funny weather forecast details. And the smart and inspired feel of this commentary is very unusual and refreshing for this dire Fey/Poehler Update era.
— A great ending yell from Seth of the line “REPENT, BITCHES, REPENT!”
— I absolutely love Jason’s portrayal of American Idol’s Taylor Hicks. Yet another example tonight of how solid, hilarious, and fun Jason is as a performer, and how refreshing and desperately needed his presence is on SNL after the awful season 30.
— Very funny comments from Jason’s Hicks regarding his pubic hair.
— A lot of Amy’s jokes tonight are getting a (deservedly) fairly tepid audience reaction.
— Tina closes this Update with by far one of her best jokes in a long time (the teen pregnancy/“Your Mouth Can’t Get Pregnant” joke). That was a joke and delivery worthy of Tina’s first two years at the Update desk, back when she was actually consistently solid as an anchor.
STARS: **½


DEBBIE DOWNER
Debbie Downer deflates (host)’s Las Vegas strip club bachelorette party

— Normally, I’d groan at this sketch popping up tonight, but the last two Debbie Downer installments before this were much better than usual and shook up the formula. Plus, this thankfully ends up being the last Debbie Downer appearance before Rachel leaves the cast. (Years later, Debbie Downer would make a brief walk-on in the cold opening of SNL’s 40th Anniversary Special, and, though I haven’t seen it yet, I’m aware that Debbie Downer has a surprise full-fledged sketch in SNL’s most recent normal, live episode in 2020 before the coronavirus pandemic forced SNL to do taped “At Home” episodes.)
— I recall in an interview Lindsay did earlier in the week of this episode, the interviewer brought up at one point the famous first Debbie Downer sketch from Lindsay’s season 29 episode, and the interviewer asked Lindsay if we can expect to see a new Debbie Downer sketch this weekend. In response, Lindsay claimed that, after initially considering doing the sketch this weekend, she and the people at SNL decided against it. So why is this sketch on my screen right now? People being full of shit during interviews regarding what was or wasn’t going to appear in this episode seems to be a theme, given the whole “101 Fellations” oddity I talked about earlier in this review.
— Lindsay’s excited yell of “ILOVEITILOVEITILOVEIT!” was eerily Helen Madden-esque (Molly Shannon’s character from the Pretty Living sketches), so much so, that I almost wonder if it was an intentional reference, but I highly doubt it.
— Lindsay’s scratchy, raspy voice tonight is sounding particularly rough during certain parts of this sketch.
— Blah, this sketch is pretty awful so far. After we’ve gotten such a nice change of pace in the last two Debbie Downer sketches before this, it’s unfortunate to see them going back to the usual unfunny and tired formula that these sketches normally follow.
— The perpetually-underused Finesse Mitchell makes his ONLY appearance of the entire night in the non-speaking role of a scantily-clad stripper. Just sad. If he’s not fully aware by this point that his days at SNL are beyond numbered, then there’s no hope for this man.
— A noticeable gaffe right now, where the beginning of the “wah-wahhhhhh” sound effect accidentally plays at the wrong time before getting cut off. I’ve seen some people theorize that SNL planned this gaffe, in an attempt to recapture the magic of the first Lindsay Lohan-involved Debbie Downer sketch by starting a major chain reaction of laughing among the performers in this sketch. Rachel responds to this sound effect gaffe by giving an impromptu comical look into the camera while shifting her eyes around, and Lindsay then goes into her scripted angry rant at Debbie Downer while stifling some genuine laughter, but otherwise, this sound effect gaffe doesn’t set off the huge laughing meltdown among the performers that SNL seemingly intended.
— Odd how this didn’t end with the usual pre-taped headshot of Debbie Downer saying a typical depressing one-liner during the ending theme song. The lack of that possibly shows how little effort was put into tonight’s Debbie Downer installment. Rachel was forced to just mug awkwardly into the camera for a long time while the ending theme music played during a live close-up of her.
— Overall, a poor way for the Debbie Downer character to go out. I can’t say I’ll miss her.
STARS: *½


FIRST NIGHT OUT
uptight co-workers Neil (WLF), Jean (KRW), (host) awkwardly get social

— The debut of a sporadically-appearing Forte/Wiig/(whoever’s hosting that week) recurring sketch that I recall loving back when it originally aired.
— Fantastic character voice from Will. Lots of funny subtle mannerisms in Kristen’s voice as well. And even though it initially feels weird seeing 19-year-old Lindsay Lohan playing such an older, mature role like this, her real-life unsettling scratchy, raspy voice tonight actually makes her convincing as the forty-something woman she’s playing here.
— Something about these low-key, subtle, mature characters of Will, Kristen, and Lindsay’s feels refreshing for this SNL era.
— Another pairing tonight of Andy and Bill. Again, I really like that, even though this is just an extremely minor, non-speaking role for them.
— I love Lindsay’s delivery of “Sometimes you gotta say ‘What the mess!’” This sketch contains what I feel is easily the best performance Lindsay has given all night (and maybe her best performance out of all of her hosting stints).
— Poor Chris gets stuck in a very small non-speaking walk-on as a bartender, and he’s only shown from the back. Really, SNL? While it makes sense for you to put Andy and Bill in a useless non-speaking role, given how new they are, how do you give a role like that to a freakin’ 8-year veteran, especially one as proven and reliable as Chris? Then again, speaking of 8-year veterans being very poorly utilized tonight, Horatio has been COMPLETELY shut out of this episode. Ha, certainly no complaints from me there. (And this is actually the SECOND time this season that Horatio has made no appearances in an episode, which further proves how out-of-date he is this season.) Maya’s nowhere to be seen tonight either, because, as I said in my last episode review, she asked Lorne to have these past two episodes off so she can spend more time at home with her new baby.
— Hilarious turn with Will’s introvert character now suddenly detailing the very raunchy night of lovemaking he has planned with his fellow two introverts, details that Will’s character is delivering in his usual soft-spoken, affable voice.
— Overall, this sketch was just as strong as I had remembered it.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Severed Hand”


MOVIE ARCHIVES
Ann-Margret (host) & Liberace (FRA) had no chemistry

— The debut of Fred’s Liberace impression. I smell a whole bunch of hacky gay jokes coming up.
— I do admit to at least getting a laugh from Fred’s facial expression in the initial cutaway to him as Liberace.
— Kristen’s cheesy 1960s dance is pretty funny.
— So far, the gay jokes in this sketch aren’t as awful or cringeworthy as I expected (maybe I was mistakenly thinking of those later Vincent Price sketches that Fred’s Liberace appears in), but they’re still doing nothing for me.
— While the bit at the end with Liberace vomiting just because a woman kissed him is extremely blah, I got an unintended(?) chuckle from Liberace’s male assistant (or whoever he’s supposed to be) in the background just staring at the vomiting Liberace while looking unfazed and emotionless, having no reaction at all to the vomiting he’s witnessing.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A difficult episode to figure. We got a very rough and worrisome start with the first few segments, pretty much all of which I hated, but then starting with the very strong TV Funhouse cartoon, the remainder of the episode was EXTREMELY hit-and-miss. I’m not even sure whether I like the overall episode or not. Thinking back, I’m pretty sure this episode contained a little more bad than good. We did get a good number of strong highlights, though. Lindsay Lohan did not make much of a case for herself regarding SNL’s questionable decision to bring her back for her THIRD hosting stint in as many years, but I did find her work in the (underrated) First Night Out sketch to be surprisingly solid.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Antonio Banderas)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Legendary five-timer Tom Hanks makes his long-awaited return as a host after a 10-year absence

Posted on

April 8, 2006 – Antonio Banderas / Mary J. Blige (S31 E15)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

ANDERSON COOPER 360
Vicente Fox (host) & Cynthia McKinney (KET)

— A sketch in 2006 joking about building a wall on the Mexican border? Hoo, boy.
— A laugh from Jason’s vague line about finding a “labor force” willing to build the Mexican border wall.
— Some good lines from Antonio Banderas here, and it’s nice to see the host in a cold opening like this.
— Kenan In A Dress alert. By the way, this is sign #1 that Maya is not in the building tonight, as this particular role of Cynthia McKinney definitely would’ve gone to her, but since she’s out this week (she’ll be missing both this AND the next episode, as she asked Lorne for some more time off to spend at home with her new baby), SNL had to resort to throwing Kenan into drag to portray a black woman who’s in the headlines. Ugh.
— Another ugh from me towards Kenan, because, as usual, Kenan is playing this black female role in the EXACT SAME generic and tired “sassy” manner that he plays almost every other black woman.
— Also as usual, Seth’s Anderson Cooper is a bland straight man, having no actual reactions to the crazy things his guests say. Also, his comedic lines at the beginning and end of these Anderson Cooper 360 sketches always fall flat with the audience.
— I will say that I really like Seth’s VERY energetic “Live from New York…” at the end of this.
STARS: **½


MONOLOGUE
host removes his male clothes & reveals that he is actually a woman

— A funny opening line from Antonio about how tonight is probably the beginning of the end of his career.
— Uh, okay. No idea what to say about this big and very random reveal of Antonio being a woman, complete with him ripping off his suit to reveal a full-on dress underneath.
— Antonio is winning me over on this iffy premise, with his very fun and charming commitment. He is selling the hell out of this.
— Surprised this is over already, but I’m glad they kept this short and sweet, given the questionable premise.
STARS: ***


BASIC INSTINCT 2: THE RETURN OF THE BEAVER
Basic Instinct 2 keeps the focus on Sharon Stone’s (AMP) crotch

— I love Will’s delivery of “Close that up for me” in regards to Amy’s Sharon Stone having her legs wide open.
— Overall, funny performances from Will and Amy, and the usual strong voice-over work from Chris, but there wasn’t much to this trailer, even though that was the whole point. I didn’t laugh all that much after a while.
STARS: **


DEAL OR NO DEAL
contestant (host) doesn’t understand how to play

— Very funny portrayal of Howie Mandel by Fred, even if I’ve never seen the real Howie Mandel act remotely like that.
— Hilarious little bit with Fred’s Mandel panicking when Antonio opens the briefcase as soon as he receives it.
— I love Antonio as the very confused contestant who keeps failing to understand how this game is played.
— Both Fred and Antonio are slaying me in this sketch.
— Not sure I understood the ending with Fred’s Mandel angrily storming off after he accidentally called the show “No Deal or Deal” instead of “Deal or No Deal”.
STARS: ****


VOICE RECORDING BLIND DATE
at a party, automated phone menu voicer Julie collects info from (host)

— They’re bringing back this automated phone voice recording character of Rachel’s? I found this sketch really charming and fun the first time they did it earlier this season, but this doesn’t feel like something that needed to be done a second time.
— So far, this sketch is just hitting the exact same beats from the first installment, and it’s not working for me quite as well this time.
— I do like the new addition of Fred as the Spanish voice recording option.
— Overall, aside from the addition of Fred, this sketch was just an inferior re-write of the first installment of this.
STARS: **½


BESOS Y LAGRIMAS
gardener’s (host) bare chest spurs passionate reactions

— Talk about the random return of a sketch, we now get the return of a one-off sketch from two seasons prior with Christina Aguilera. Given tonight’s host, I can understand why they’re bringing this back, but I’m wary on whether this will hold up well as a recurring sketch. Seems like it would be better left as a fun one-off, much like Rachel’s automated voice recording bit.
— This obviously must be a recording of a sketch performed at dress rehearsal, because there’s no possible way Antonio could’ve gotten changed so fast from the end of the preceding sketch to the beginning of this one, with no commercial break in between. Live episodes airing recordings of sketches that were performed at dress rehearsal sometimes occurs, at least back in the early-mid 2000s (one example is the famous Oprah’s Favorite Things sketch with Megan Mullally).
— Fred’s been having a big night so far. He’s all over this episode.
— A somewhat funny running gag with Antonio’s shirt blowing open.
— A good laugh from a superimposed transparent shot of Rachel’s head randomly floating past the camera during one interstitial shot of the Besos Y Lagrimas title card.
— Pretty funny variation of the running gag with Antonio’s shirt, with the baby’s shirt blowing open.
— Overall, while I still laughed at this sketch, it didn’t feel as strong as the first installment of it.
STARS: ***


THE 13TH ANNUAL WOMEN’S BASKETBALL COACHES’ FASHION AWARDS
butch looks get their due

— The slogan of the Seasonale ad during the opening “sponsored by…” bit (“Combine all your periods into four mind-blowing whoppers a year!”) kinda feels like a precursor to the very famous Annuale commercial that would later air in the first Tina Fey-hosted episode.
— I like Rachel’s execution of the bit about squatting in an above-the-knee skirt while giving a pep talk.
— Kristen’s delivery of the name “Dee” tickled me so much. Kristen is good at mining humor out of such simple things like that.
— Sign #2 that Maya’s not in the building tonight: she’s nowhere to be seen in this female-centric sketch, which definitely would’ve cast her, given the fact that all the other female cast members are in it. On the night this episode originally aired, I remember thinking to myself after this sketch ended, “Where the heck is Maya tonight? Did she suddenly get very pregnant AGAIN over the break between these past two episodes?”
— Amy’s performance seems a bit off. Perhaps an early sign of how extremely overworked she’s going to be tonight, as we’ll see as this episode continues.
— I’m getting tired of all the cheap butch stereotypes throughout this sketch, and there’s very little of the written material that’s actually amusing.
— Speaking of me getting tired of something, I’ve had more than my fill of all the musical interludes with Antonio throughout this sketch. While I like his energy in them, enough with these musical bits in this sketch, SNL.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Be Without You”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Tom DeLay gets an American Idol send-off with a montage set to “Bad Day”

Dan Rather (DAH) gives backhanded compliments to successor Katie Couric

FIM urges awareness of the warning signs given by angry black women

Chad Michael Murray (WLF) is quick to marry his One Tree Hill co-workers

CHK is mad he wasn’t called upon to do his impression of host

— The American Idol-esque exit video montage of Tom DeLay was just whatever to me. The most interesting thing about it to me is that it, in retrospect, serves as a time capsule of the days when that Bad Day song (“So you had a bad day…”) was INESCAPABLE. Boy, was that song the bane of my existence back then.
— I like Darrell-as-Dan-Rather’s line about laughing for five minutes when hearing Katie Couric is replacing him.
— A good overall commentary from Darrell’s Rather, and I liked his various backhanded compliments.
— Another joke on Update about someone sitting in Star Jones’ fart cloud? SNL already used that joke in a Barbara Walters commentary that Rachel did on Update two seasons prior, a commentary that I assume was written by Tina.
— I’m now just starting to notice that Amy’s voice is hoarse tonight. Perhaps that’s why she’s a little off in some of her performances tonight.
— Meh, I don’t care for the subject matter of tonight’s Finesse commentary.
— Boy, Finesse’s timing seems really off early on in his commentary. What was with that uncomfortably long, awkward pause he made just now?
— I did kinda like Finesse’s line about how his mother used to have a motto in regards to the color of the girls Finesse dates: “If she can’t use my comb, don’t bring her home.”
— When NBC would re-air this episode a few months later over the summer, Finesse’s Update commentary would be completely removed. While I certainly didn’t care for Finesse’s commentary, I remember being pretty shocked at its removal in reruns, especially given how it was such a rare big showcase for the struggling Finesse, then I took that commentary’s removal as a hint that SNL wasn’t bringing Finesse back the following season (even though nothing had been confirmed in the media or on SNL message boards yet), and I figured SNL must’ve thought to themselves “Well, we just fired the guy, so why even bother leaving in the bad Update commentary he does in this weekend’s rerun?” Sure enough, about a week later (maybe even earlier than that), it would be officially announced in the media that Finesse (along with Chris and Horatio) has been fired from the show, as one of the casualties of the budget cuts Lorne was forced to make to the show for the then-upcoming season 32.
— Ha, you can hear a guy in the audience groan “Ugh!” after a joke Amy makes about Barbara Walters having done porn when she was younger.
— Hmm, questionable casting of Will as Chad Michael Murray. Playing a generic, bland teen heartthrob isn’t the type of role I want to see Will being given on Update, as it’s a waste of the great oddball, absurdist energy he usually brings to the Update desk.
— I will say that Will’s portrayal of Chad Michael Murray is giving me some chuckles.
— You can hear another disgusted groan from a guy in the audience, as he can be heard going “Ewww” in response to a garbage disposal joke of Tina’s. This sure is one easily disgusted audience.
— A tree frog joke. Ah, so I see we’re getting an interruption.
— Aaaaaaaand there’s the interruption: a Chris Kattan cameo, which I suppose is fitting for tonight, given who’s hosting this episode. I guess I can’t complain about this particular Kattan cameo, as we’ve thankfully gotten a pretty long break from the frequent cameos he made around 2003 and 2004.
— Ugh, Amy is going really heavy on her typical annoying Weekend Update cutesiness during her fawning over Kattan’s old recurring characters.
— Though I’m sure this segment means well, something feels really sad and pathetic about how Kattan, Tina, and Amy are lovingly reminiscing about all of Kattan’s old recurring characters (even throwing in a reference to his obscure “Hollywood” character at one point, and if you’ve been following my SNL project for a while, I’m sure you KNOW how I feel about that particularly wretched character). This feels pointless and desperate to me. At the time this episode originally aired, I remember thinking to myself that this was basically both Kattan and SNL admitting how poorly Kattan’s post-SNL career had been going, and that the best days of his career were unfortunately ALREADY behind him.
STARS: **


ANTONIO’S STAND-IN
host’s Legend Of Zorro stand-in (HOS) repulses Catherine Zeta-Jones (AMP)

— I love Seth’s sarcastic delivery of “I knooooowww, riiiiiight?!?”
— Hoo, boy. Looks like we’re in for an obnoxious Horatio Sanz hamfest. Oh, Lord spare me.
— Andy makes his ONLY appearance of the entire night in a very brief, blink-and-miss-it walk-on as a clapboard holder. This is also a rare occurrence of him appearing in a sketch with his real-life behind-the-scenes glasses, which I chalk up to the fact that he must’ve realized he was barely appearing onscreen tonight, so he probably thought “Why even bother to take off my backstage glasses?” As much as SNL really wasted Andy tonight, he’s still gotten more airtime than one of his fellow newbies, poor Bill Hader, who is NOWHERE to be seen in this entire episode (excluding the goodnights, where, at one point, Seth can be seen patting Bill on the back, presumably because Seth felt bad for Bill being shut out of this episode). Considering the highly-regarded SNL legend Bill would go on to be, it’s absolutely surreal in hindsight to see how underused he is in these early seasons of his.
— Amy, in regards to Horatio’s character: “Where’d you get this guy? He’s horrible.” Antonio: “I found him passed out in my Jacuzzi.” Amy: “I thought you said he was your cousin.” Wait, if Amy thought Horatio was Antonio’s cousin, then why did she literally JUST ask “Where’d you get this guy?” The writing of this sketch is so half-assed that they can’t even keep THAT little detail straight.
— Aaaaaaaand there goes Horatio’s obligatory cracking up at himself. Ugh.
— Yeah, this sketch is pretty insufferable so far. (*sigh*) Only four episodes left until Horatio is finally the hell out of here.
STARS: *½


RASCALS KARAOKE
karaoke emcee (AMP) gets personal with singer’s (RAD) boyfriend (host)

— Amy in yet ANOTHER big role tonight. Is this really wise on SNL’s part, in a night where Amy obviously isn’t all that well, given her hoarse voice? In fact, her voice sounds like it’s getting hoarser and hoarser as this episode progresses. She starting to sound like a kid who’s voice is in the early stages of changing during puberty.
— Meh at the gag with Amy singing over Rachel during Rachel’s karaoke number, gradually taking over her number, which seems like a lazy and cliched premise.
— Okay, I am getting some laughs from Amy now sluttily climbing all over Antonio during her singing, but it still feels too lazy and cliched.
— Rachel desperately resorting to directing her romantic singing towards random old guy in the crowd is pretty funny.
— I like the turn with Rachel now desperately resorting to singing increasingly raunchy songs, especially “Me So Horny”.
— Wow, even in this sketch, SNL shoehorns in a topical reference to the big immigration controversy going on in America at the time, which has been referenced many times tonight, probably partly due to having a Hispanic host.
— Even in just a brief two-second cutaway, Chris steals this ENTIRE sketch with his hilarious deadpan delivery of his bitter one-liner to Amy: “Screw you, Mary-Anne.” Great to see how, even in his sadly diminishing airtime as we’re nearing the end of his SNL tenure, Chris can still kill with his fantastic deadpan delivery.
— Something about Rachel’s delivery of the line “GO SUCK AN EGG, BOZO!!!” has strangely stuck in my memory over the years ever since this episode originally aired.
— This sketch has died off for me towards the end.
STARS: **½


IMMIGRATION ISSUES
scheming Latinos host, FRA, HOS confirm xenophobic fears of CHP, AMP, JAS

— Geez, SNL, let Amy have a breather! Do you have to put the woman front-and-center in practically EVERY SINGLE SKETCH tonight (even if it’s just in the beginning of this particular sketch)? If this keeps up, her increasingly-hoarse voice is going to completely give out by the 10-to-1 sketch.
— Lots of sloppiness right as Fred makes his entrance. First off, his mic isn’t turned on when he begins speaking, then a distracting shadow of a boom mic can be seen on Horatio’s body in the background, and then Antonio completely misses his cue when he’s supposed to enter at this point, leading to a few seconds of awkward dead air.
— Yet another sketch tonight referencing the big immigration controversy.
— Not sure how to feel about these cliched and unflattering Hispanic stereotypes that Fred, Horatio, and Antonio are reinforcing, though I am kinda liking the way all three performers are working as a team in this. And given how harsh I typically am on Horatio in these later seasons of his, I’ll give him credit for a decent performance here.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Enough Cryin”


WINE TASTING
wine tasters (host), (CHP), (AMP) assign odd properties to their drinks

— Oh, look, everyone – Amy front-and-center in YET ANOTHER co-starring role tonight. Nothing against Amy, but what is up with this? I doubt Maya’s absence alone is the reason for SNL’s heavy over-reliance on Amy tonight, because Amy wasn’t consistently utilized to THIS degree in the many episodes that Maya was absent in earlier this season, not even during the pre-Kristen Wiig episodes where Amy and Rachel were literally the only female sketch regulars. Even in this season’s premiere (which Maya appeared in, but just in a limited role, due to her extremely pregnant state at the time), in which Amy appeared in a whopping NINE sketches, most of those appearances were just supporting roles. Tonight, it feels like almost all of her appearances are huge starring or co-starring roles.
— On a completely opposite note from what I just said above, it’s great to see Chris in a big co-starring role here, given his aforementioned diminished airtime this season. Lately, it’s been starting to feel sadly rare to see him get a lead role in a sketch.
— Lots of funny casually-delivered absurd wine descriptions from Antonio, Chris, and Amy. I especially like Chris’ line “The last time we had this vintage, I had a gun in my mouth”, and Amy responding, with a pleasant smile, “Yes, and I was holding that gun.”
— I love Amy’s delivery of “Is anyone getting werewolves?” in reaction to the taste of the wine she and the others are currently sampling.
— An overall short and sweet sketch, though I actually wanted this to go on longer, as I was enjoying the escalating absurdity to it, which felt like it hadn’t hit a peak yet by the time this sketch ended.
— Speaking of wishing this sketch was longer, reruns of this episode would replace this sketch with the dress rehearsal version, which actually is longer. Perhaps the live show ran a little long, forcing SNL to trim the script for this sketch at the last minute. I wonder if the reason for them airing the longer dress rehearsal version of this sketch in reruns, besides making up for how SNL was presumably forced to trim the length of the live version of the sketch, was to fill in the extra time left over from removing Finesse’s commentary on Weekend Update. Or maybe it was the other way around: perhaps SNL desperately wanted to air the longer dress rehearsal version of this sketch, so they cut Finesse’s Update commentary to make room for it.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Pretty much a blah episode. Completely forgettable, and below par for this season’s standards. However, Antonio Banderas, while not always hilarious, was a charming, fun, and enthusiastic host. He gave this blah episode a better feel than it otherwise would have had with a lesser host.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Matt Dillon)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Lindsay Lohan

Posted on

March 11, 2006 – Matt Dillon / Arctic Monkeys (S31 E14)

(Just as a side note, today is the two-year anniversary of the launch of The ‘One SNL A Day’ Project! I surprisingly didn’t even realize that until literally just now, as I caught a glimpse of today’s date at the top of this review right before officially sending this review out on the web. As I now think back on when I launched this project on this date two years ago, it blows my mind how far I’ve now made it into this project.)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

SPRING BREAK
young women (AMP), (MAR), (RAD), (KRW) anticipate Spring Break debauchery

— Feels very refreshing to see a non-political cold opening of this nature, even though, now that I think of it, we’ve gotten quite a number of non-political cold openings this season (off the top of my head, the Tree Re-Lighting one, the Pat Robertson cartoon, the Steve Martin one, and now this).
— Funny bit with Kristen calling Rachel out on saying one too many names when greeting Amy and Maya.
— Another funny line from Kristen, about how she thought it would be fun to try group sex and hash the same week.
— A fun spoof of trashy things girls are known to do on spring break, complete with Maya and Amy comically tongue-kissing each other at one point.
— Oh, a then-topical Natalee Holloway reference. I remember finding it funny back when this episode originally aired, though I now wonder if anybody at the time considered it “too soon”, considering it seems like a touchy thing to joke about.
— Hilarious twist at the end with the couple who’s sitting in between the girls turning out to be Maya’s parents, meaning they had overheard all of the girls’ wild, inappropriate plans for spring break, and didn’t even object to it or bat an eye.
— During the big group “Live from New York…” at the end, pay attention to Rachel. Instead of saying “it’s Saturday Night!” at the end of the LFNY, she’s actually saying what appears to be a spring break-related “it’s Cancun 2006!”
— An overall very solid and fun cold opening, and makes a perfect case for why SNL would benefit from doing non-political cold openings much more often.
STARS: ****


OPENING MONTAGE
— When it’s time to announce the musical guest, Don Pardo oddly just completely blanks, not saying Arctic Monkeys’ name AT ALL.


MONOLOGUE
host’s unused Oscar acceptance speech is littered with stereotypes

— No idea what to think of these off-color racial stereotype jokes in Matt Dillon’s acceptance speech.
— Okay, I have to admit, these racial stereotype jokes are actually starting to tickle me, even though they’re incredibly basic jokes.
— At least Matt ends this with a self-deprecating racial joke, making an Irish stereotype joke about his own family.
STARS: ***


PRISONMATE.NET
desperate single women obtain incarcerated boyfriends via prisonmate.net

— Good to see Finesse in another rare spokesperson role.
— I love the brief shot of SNL writer Bryan Tucker in a Hannibal Lecter-esque mask.
— This overall commercial wasn’t too great, despite a few funny parts. It felt like it ended too early or something.
STARS: **½


SPORTSCENTER
bulked-up Barry Bonds (KET) denies steroid allegations

— The initial cutaway to Kenan in those fake muscles cracked me up.
— Very funny look of Matt’s character.
— Seth’s bland straight man “reactions” (and I put “reactions” in quotes because he’s barely even reacting) to crazy things the interviewees in this sketch are saying to him remind me too much of his bland straight man “reactions” in those Anderson Cooper 360 sketches.
— Matt looks really Jim Carrey-esque in that skinny photo of him (the fifth above screencap for this sketch).
— I like that they’re even showing a pre-steroids photo of Lou The Seal.
— Funny bit with Lou The Seal getting caught having steroids injected into his butt, then running out of the shot in shame when realizing he’s on the air.
STARS: ***½


DOPPELGANGERS
SEM & WLF panic when they’re unable to distinguish ANS from (HOS)

— One of my personal favorite Digital Shorts ever.
— I recall an online SNL fan back at this time in 2006 saying this Digital Short had a nice Kids In The Hall feel.
— Nice little touch with Seth, Andy, and Will using their real first names here, despite the fact it seems like they’re playing businessmen characters in this.
— Funny turn with Andy’s “doppleganger” being a fat hobo who looks nothing like him.
— An even more hilarious turn right now, with Seth and Will not being able to tell Andy and the hobo apart, and Will inexplicably pulling out a gun and saying “I don’t know which one to shoot”, which gets a great reaction from Andy.
— Seth: “What do you think about sandwiches?” Andy: “I-I-I love them.” Seth: “Andy does love sandwiches.” Will: “EVERYONE loves sandwiches!”
— I love the whole “I shot the wrong guy” ending scene, especially how Will just humbly says that line after a very long stretch of silence between him and the two others.
STARS: *****


2 A-HOLES AT A TRAVEL AGENCY
A-holes’ directionlessness tries the patience of travel agent (host)

— Good to see these characters become recurring.
— I always like the long, drawn-out silences between Jason and Kristen in these 2 A-Holes sketches when she refuses to answer a question he keeps asking non-stop.
— A huge laugh from Kristen requesting to visit Hogwarts.
— There’s never much for me to say about these sketches, but they always work for me.
STARS: ****


HOW TO ORDER SUSHI LIKE A CEO
smug (host)’s book offers raw seafood tips

— I got a laugh from Matt’s corny line “You’ll know sushi…like Kristi Yamaguchi.”
— An interesting and out-of-the-ordinary format to this sketch.
— Matt: “There’s nothing I love more, except mid-morning fellatio–”
— Matt seems really lost just now, right before grabbing the soy sauce dispenser.
— Matt is selling his character’s arrogantly dumb actions pretty well, even though there’s some genuine unscripted clumsiness and awkwardness in Matt’s performance (including him reaching for his book so clumsily at one point that he accidentally causes a chopstick to go flying in the air). In an odd way, though, Matt’s genuine clumsiness and awkwardness kinda fits in this sketch, as it kinda adds to the arrogantly dumb character he’s playing.
— I like Maya’s waitress character greeting Matt as “Mr. Douche”.
STARS: ***½


J.J. CASUALS
Rerun from 11/12/05


JOPLIN: ALIVE! PODCAST
Missourians (JAS) & (BIH) podcast from a Bennigan’s

— Another sketch that shows SNL is moving further and further into the virtual age.
— I love Bill and Kristen’s southern accents, particularly Bill. The voice and delivery Bill is using is just so damn good.
— This feels a bit like a much more low-key, mature, relatable variation of Jarret’s Room. Definitely an improvement.
— So many funny little comments from Bill all throughout this.
— A good goofy character from Andy, adding a nice balance of silliness to the mature realism that Jason and Bill are bringing. I also love Bill eventually calling Andy out on his fake French accent by telling him “You grew up three houses from me.”
— I absolutely LOVE how the only performers in this sketch are just the entire featured player cast: Bill, Jason, Kristen, and Andy. This really signifies what a freakin’ fantastic group of newbies this is, and it’s so nice that SNL has given them their own isolated showcase as a group in this sketch.
— Overall, I feel like I’m in the minority, but I really liked this sketch. I’m kinda surprised it would end up never becoming recurring, as you can totally tell this was set up to become recurring. We get the loud, immature, in-your-face Jarret’s Room shoved down our throats, yet SNL can’t give this refreshing, low-key, relatable sketch even one measly return appearance?
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Farhad Nasr (HOS) heeds reaction to idea of Dubai management of USA ports

WLF uses a song to explain how to identify Shias, Sunnis, Kurds

— Ugh, I absolutely HATED Tina inexplicably following the punchline of her Iraq war/exit strategy joke by holding her fist under her chin in a mock-adorable “Ain’t I cute?” pose (the first above screencap for this Update). I thought Amy was supposed to be the annoyingly cutesy, “Please like me!” Update anchor out of this duo. I also take this cutesy move of Tina’s as yet another example of Tina smugly patting herself on the back for an “edgy”, “clever” joke she had just told.
— I think I said this earlier this season, but I’ve been starting to kinda forget Horatio is even still in the cast, given how (mercifully) little he’s been used lately and how increasingly out of place he and his tired-ass shtick have been coming off in the new direction SNL has been going in this season.
— Ugh, Horatio’s commentary is fucking HORRIBLE. While he’s thankfully not derailing it with his typical unprofessionalism and self-indulgent hamminess, the problem with this commentary is 1) Horatio’s characterization of this middle-eastern role is something we’ve seen him do in a bazillion other middle-eastern roles earlier in his SNL tenure and it’s become so fucking tired by this late stage of his tenure, and 2) this terribly-written commentary is just a whole bunch of aimless, unfunny rambling and lots of “foreign dictator tries to come off cool by making a whole bunch of old, dated pop culture references” humor, the latter of which rarely ever works (the Osama & Saddam sketches Horatio did with Jimmy Fallon are the only times I can think of where that humor actually worked).
— (*sigh*) Our usual string of hacky, lame jokes from Tina and Amy, though I did like Tina’s Wal-Mart joke just now.
— A Will Forte Update song! These are always a treat, and I desperately NEED him to inject some life into this dire Update.
— I love Will’s fast-paced Shia/Sunni/Kurd song, as well as the accompanying pictures being shown.
— I like the subtle blink-and-miss-it joke of SNL’s own Kenan being one of the celebrities in the Sunni photos.
— A very fun and silly turn in Will’s already-fun-and-silly song with him now establishing Shias, Sunnis, and Kurds out of household objects instead of celebrities.
STARS: *½


VINCENT PRICE’S ST. PATRICK’S DAY SPECIAL
Vincent Price’s (BIH) St. Patrick’s Day Special falls short of macabre

— Yes! A Vincent Price sketch! Believe it or not, this ends up being the last time we’ll see this sketch for THREE SEASONS. (Though the finale of this season would have a Memorial Day-themed Vincent Price special cut after dress rehearsal.) The sketch gets revived in 2008, presumably due to then-new SNL writer John Mulaney.
— As usual, a spot-on vocal impression from Darrell of Don Knotts, who, IIRC, had passed away not too long before this episode, and is possibly being impersonated in this sketch as a tribute.
— Kristen knocks it out of the park with yet another very funny impression of a classical actress in a Vincent Price sketch, this time Katharine Hepburn. I’m surprised Kristen only makes one brief appearance in tonight’s Vincent Price sketch, but maybe it’s good SNL shows some occasional restraint when showcasing Kristen, given what ends up happening to SNL when their restraint towards Kristen goes completely out the window starting around 2008.
— I like Vincent’s bitter and snarky comments towards Matt’s Rod Serling regarding Vincent never having gotten a call to do a guest spot on The Twilight Zone.
— This overall sketch, while solid, felt odd for a Vincent Price sketch, I guess because none of the guests stuck around after making their initial appearance. They each just walked on individually, did their respective bit, and then left. These Vincent Price sketches usually have the guests stay for the remainder of the sketch after walking on. I would chalk this up as a case of “Early Installment Weirdness”, but the first installment of this sketch earlier this season followed the format I mentioned, in which guests stick around for the remainder of the sketch.
STARS: ****


RELAXATION TAPE
harsh voice & caustic attitude gets relaxation tape rookie (host) fired

— Wow, Bill and Kristen have been all over tonight’s episode. This is early in Kristen’s tenure, when it was actually rare and refreshing to see her dominate an episode. Again, come 2008, that rarity and refreshing feel goes straight out the window.
— On a completely opposite note from what I just said about Bill and Kristen’s airtime tonight, wow, where has Fred been tonight? This is surprisingly his first and ONLY appearance all night. Very unusual for him.
— Not too crazy about this premise.
— Kristen and Fred’s relaxing speak into the mic is very funny, and they’re both individually adding lots of funny little touches during that relaxing speak of theirs.
— After not laughing at Matt during most of this sketch, I am liking his constant sob stories before his exit.
— Is that an earring I’m seeing Bill wearing? If so, interesting little detail of his character.
— Very lame ending.
STARS: **½


APPALACHIAN EMERGENCY ROOM
more rubes need unconventional medical help

— The final appearance of this sketch, which I’m sure some of you in the comments section are happy to hear.
— The fact that this established recurring sketch is buried so late in the show is a bad sign that this is going to be a rough installment. It’ll be a shame if so, given how surprisingly strong the previous installment of this sketch from this season’s Jack Black episode was.
— Darrell’s delivery of the word “Sudoku” cracked me up.
— As always, Amy freakin’ slayed me with her usual hilarious delivery of her exit line when she’s walking away. That’s the one thing in these Appalachian Emergency Room sketches that I’m going to miss.
— Another sketch tonight where Matt Dillon facially reminds me of Jim Carrey (just look at him in the fourth above screencap for this sketch).
— Matt accidentally jumped ahead of the script just now and said his response to one of Seth’s lines before Seth even said the line.
— I like the change of pace right now, with Seth’s character looking around wondering, in regards to Chris’ recurring character in these sketches, “Where the hell is Tyler? It’s gettin’ late.”
— Meh, didn’t care for the rain stick trick Chris’ character does by standing on his head.
— Overall, yeah, definitely a lesser installment of this sketch. A poor way for this recurring sketch to go out. Definitely should’ve left the superior one with Jack Black as the final installment of this sketch, so it could’ve gone out on a high note.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “A Certain Romance”

— An odd moment just now that stands out: at the end of one verse, Arctic Monkeys’ lead singer very briefly calls out an audience member for yawning during this musical performance. By the way, I wonder if Arctic Monkeys were also pissed at the aforementioned fact that Don Pardo bizarrely didn’t announce them during the opening montage earlier tonight. I also recall hearing that two members of this band spent the entire goodnights of this episode humorously hugging only each other and nobody else onstage.


DECICCO BROTHERS UNICORNERY
DeCicco Brothers (BIH) & (host) Unicornery has magical animals for sale

— Wow, Bill’s huge night continues. Tonight is definitely his and Kristen’s show. So refreshing to see Bill so dominant in this episode, given how criminally underused he had been after his amazing first few months on the show. Unfortunately, his upswing in airtime tonight doesn’t last. In fact, he doesn’t appear in the next episode AT ALL. (*sigh*) It was nice while it lasted.
— Oh, I’m already onboard for this delightfully oddball sketch concept of two guys advertising their own unicornery in the style of a used car dealership commercial.
— Matt’s delivery, while amusing, is a tad off. He’s delivering his lines too slow-paced compared to Bill’s very on-point delivery. It feels like Matt and Bill are on two completely different pages in terms of their performance as a duo.
— Speaking of Bill’s delivery, this is another sketch where early-era Bill Hader is giving me strong Dan Aykroyd vibes. His voice and delivery in this sketch are reminiscent of Dan’s Irwin Mainway and E. Buzz Miller characters. I can easily picture Dan doing this Unicornery sketch had it appeared in the original SNL era. It would’ve fit perfectly in the collection of oddball Dan Aykroyd sketches that I’m typically a sucker for.
— Solid touch with the little insults Bill and Matt are making towards each unicorn when beginning to showcase them (e.g. “Look at this bag o’ donuts”).
— Ha, is that Jason I’m hearing maniacally singing the ending jingle of this commercial? Much like Will Forte, Jason singing is pretty much always a comedic treat. (So imagine how I feel about the Jon Bovi bits that Will and Jason would soon start collaborating on the following season.)
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty solid episode, and contained a pretty impressive number of strong highlights. Matt Dillon had some okay moments, but was ultimately a forgettable host, and had a number of awkward, clumsy, and flubby moments without the charm that Peter Sarsgaard, another then-recent host who had awkward, clumsy, and flubby moments, had to make up for it.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Natalie Portman)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Antonio Banderas

Posted on

March 4, 2006 – Natalie Portman / Fall Out Boy (S31 E13)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

BUSH’S ADDRESS
shell-shocked George W. Bush (WLF) & Dick Cheney (DAH) make apologies

— This is a very minor thing to complain about, but just let me vent for a sec: I’ve been noticing that it’s become a regular habit somewhere around this season (maybe a bit prior to it) for every cold opening to have the audience pointlessly applaud after a cast member at the very beginning of it begins speaking. I’m surprised, because I thought that didn’t become a regular trend on SNL until much later, like around 2013. Either way, it’s such an annoying and stupid trend, and it especially bugs me when that pointless applause causes the cast member speaking at the beginning of the cold opening to abruptly stop mid-sentence. Almost makes me wish every cold opening was pre-taped like the then-recent Scarlett Johansson and Steve Martin episodes’ respective opening, just so we can avoid this pointless applauding stuff.
— Believe it or not, this ends up being the ONLY time during Will’s three-year stint as George W. Bush that he does a direct-to-camera “And now, a message from the president of the United States” address-to-the-nation piece from behind the Oval Office desk.
— Some decent laughs so far, but nothing noteworthy.
— SNL gets in their obligatory spoof of the then-recent incident of Dick Cheney shooting his friend in the face.
— Overall, the epitome of an average cold opening.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host handles audience members’ questions on Star Wars & The Professional

— Some microphone issues as soon as Natalie Portman has started speaking.
— Jason’s mere facial expression as a geek is hilarious and is getting a great audience reaction.
— A lazy and weak joke with Finesse as a black audience member not knowing what Star Wars is.
— Natalie is very solid here, immediately giving me confidence in her as a host.
— There goes Chris playing his obligatory perv role.
STARS: ***


NELSON’S BABY TOUPEES
Rerun from 1/21/06


JAMBA JUICE
hyper Jamba Juice employees (host), (HOS), (SEM) boost smoothies

 

— Natalie keeps the solid performances going, as she’s really good as the lead here.
— Funny rapidly-delivered stories from Seth.
— Ugh, a hacky gag with Chris making a walk-on as a very stereotypical gay guy ordering a fem boost. Why’d this turn into a season 30 sketch all of a sudden?
— A rare example of me actually being amused by breaking from Horatio. The way he struggled to mutter “Boooooooooost” during that breaking made it particularly funny to me. And showing how solid Natalie is, she’s the only one out of herself, Seth, and Horatio who’s still staying in character during Horatio’s breaking right now.
— I like the running bit with the three Jamba Juice clerks singing a jingle in unison that starts with rapidly-sung foreign gibberish and ends with “Heeeyyyy, Jamba-Jamba!” I’ve heard that jingle is spoofing an old Lionel Richie song.
STARS: ***½


LARRY KING LIVE
transsexuals (AMP), (WLF), (host) engender mix-ups from Larry King (FRA)

— Fred’s Larry King impression makes its debut.
— What the hell is with Kristen’s Felicity Huffman impression? Why is she mugging so oddly like that, doing that bizarre twitchy thing with her left eye? Is she spoofing a mannerism of Huffman’s that I’m not aware of? Kristen didn’t do this last time she played Huffman in the Eva Longoria episode.
— Speaking of Kristen doing that bizarre twitchy thing with her left eye, during one point when she’s doing that, you can hear what sounds like a pipe loudly dropping onto the floor off-camera. Did NBC just drop another show? (A reference to a joke from Milton Berle’s notorious season 4 monologue, a joke that’s detailed in my review here, though my background info on the pipe-dropping being an off-camera Bill Murray trolling Berle has turned out to just be a common misconception, as cleared up by a generous commenter in the comments section of that review.)
— Hoo, boy. Larry King interviewing transsexuals? Well, let’s see how poorly THIS holds up.
— Oof. A really weakly-written sketch so far, and yeah, this material about transsexuals probably won’t go over well with viewers nowadays, even if the point of all these unflattering lines about transsexuals is just to show how out-of-touch Larry King is. It’s not being pulled off particularly well, even by 2006 standards, plus knowing these SNL years, the writers were about as out-of-touch towards transsexualism as Larry King would be.
STARS: *½


THE NEEDLERS
fertility doctor (host) interviews prospective parents Sally & Dan

— The final appearance of these characters, due to Seth officially stepping down as a sketch performer the following season to concentrate on just being a head writer and a Weekend Update co-anchor. I remember during the summer of 2006 when it was first announced in an online article that Seth would be Amy’s new Update co-anchor for the then-upcoming season 32, the article included a short interview with Seth and Amy regarding their new Update pairing, and, when asked at one point what’s going to happen to their Needlers characters now that Seth will no longer appear in sketches, Seth and Amy waved it off by responding point-blank, “The Needlers finally got a divorce.”
— Once again, SNL has changed the theme song in the Needlers’ opening title sequence. I really don’t understand why they’ve made it a regular thing to change the theme song every time.
— A particularly funny exchange between the Needlers: Amy: “You ruin every Fourth of July!” Seth: “You ruin the Fourth of Everything!”
— Some good barbs between the Needlers here.
— Funny hint of a certain bad genital incident that once happened between the Needlers during sex.
— I love Seth’s delivery of the line “That dog wanted OUT!”
— Good part with Seth “standing up” for Amy by saying “This woman may not be the most loving person you’ll ever meet……..”, then when Amy tells him to finish his sentence, Seth smugly responds “Oh, no, I’m done.”
— Ugh, there goes the beyond-tired “The Needlers are having sex in the other room” gag that’s unnecessarily ALWAYS in these sketches. And why is it ALWAYS Jason who gets stuck delivering the “The Needlers are having sex in the other room” line (excluding the first sketch with these characters, where it was Johnny Knoxville who delivered the line)?
— I did kinda like the bit about a sperm sample after the aforementioned “The Needlers are having sex in the other room” gag.
STARS: ***½


TV FUNHOUSE
Belated Black History Moment- Dennis Haysbert [real] presents cartoons

— A huge rarity, as we not only get live-action scenes in a TV Funhouse, but the live-action scenes in tonight’s TV Funhouse are actually being performed live, for, I believe, the ONLY time in TV Funhouse history. Making this even more special, the live scenes feature Dennis Haysbert.
— Great idea of Token Power, starring Valerie from Josie And The Pussycats, Winston from Ghostbusters, and Franklin from Peanuts.
— Ha, a hilarious random voice cameo from Tracy Morgan, spouting off a whole bunch of Tracy Morgan-isms.
— Once again, Smigel does such a spot-on and solid spoof of Saturday morning cartoons.
— Dennis Haysbert’s delivery seems a little off, and he flat-out botched a line early on and had to take a second to pause before repeating the whole line, but I’m getting laughs from his one-liners about how bad each animated series was, one-liners that are made even funnier when delivered in Haysbert’s trademark baritone, professional voice.
— The whole Ladysmith Black Mambazo In Outer Space segment is freakin’ HILARIOUS.
STARS: ****


ART DEALERS
Nunni (host) & boyfriend (JAS) visit home of her parents Nuni & Nuni

— Our first Nuni sketch of the season. Given how tired I’ve gotten of these sketches by the end of the preceding season, I’m at least glad we’ve gotten a long hiatus from them. We thankfully get only one more appearance from them after this, a year later.
— Ughhhhh, I am so goddamn sick of the copy-and-past portion of these sketches with the Nunis clarifying to their guest how to differentiate the pronunciation of their names. Give it a fucking REST.
— Ughhhhh again, now we get the beyond-tired copy-and-paste portion of these sketches with the Nunis having difficulty in pronouncing the simple name of their guest.
— The nasty sequence with Chris blowing ice cream from his mouth into the others’ mouths through a tube feels like a variation of the famous Bird Family sketch with Julianna Margulies, only nowhere near as funny.
— Jason is a great straight man here, and is the only strong thing in this entire sketch so far.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Dance, Dance”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Donald Trump (DAH) disparages Martha Stewart by pretending to be her

Sasha Cohen (host) nails her short joke program with a peanut witticism

LadyFat is KET’s line of women’s clothing for big male comedians of color

Oscar winner AMP fails to thank TIF during her acceptance speech

Sasha Cohen (host) flubs The Aristocrats during her long joke program

— Two minutes into this Update, and I have yet to crack so much as a half-smirk at any of these lame-ass jokes from Tina and Amy.
— An okay-ish gag with Darrell’s Trump initially entering as Martha Stewart, but the commentary died a sad death after he took off his Martha wig and did the rest of the commentary as himself.
— An interesting change of pace with Natalie as Sasha Cohen, with her in front of the Update desk performing in an Olympics-esque “joke-telling competition”. Very clever and inspired, especially for something from the dire Fey/Poehler Update era. And Natalie gives yet another strong performance in tonight’s episode.
— They are absolutely loading this Update with frequent guest commentaries while having a shorter-than-usual number of Update jokes from Tina and Amy, which is possibly SNL acknowledging how bad tonight’s Update jokes are. (It also may be SNL trying to “make up” for the lack of any guests in the preceding episode’s Update.)
— While the format of Kenan’s commentary is fun, his pride in selling his own line of women’s clothing for black men, and the way he’s embracing the tired “black men dressing in drag” comedy trope, certainly feels odd to see in hindsight, given the complete 180 he would (rightfully) do years later by publicly taking a stand against the “black men dressing in drag” comedy trope, and refusing to play any more women on SNL.
— Finesse In A Dress alert.
— We get a very meta line from Finesse acknowledging how horrible his airtime has been this season, with him saying a very earnest “I can honestly say, I would rather wear a dress made by Kenan than not be on the show at all.”
— Blah, I could’ve done without Finesse shoehorning in a Starkisha bit at the very end of his appearance, though it at least made me realize that we thankfully haven’t seen any actual Starkisha sketches this season.
— Random bit with Amy winning an award for an Update joke of hers, but I’m actually enjoying this. I really like Amy’s constant fake-outs on the non-Tina-Fey famous Tinas that she thanks during her acceptance speech, and how Fey is getting gradually frustrated by this. Easily one of the better Tina/Amy interaction pieces during this Update era.
— Great to see a continuation of the very inspired segment with Natalie’s Sasha Cohen.
STARS: **½


BAR MITZVAH
Sheldon fails to reunite with ex-girlfriend (host) at his bar mitzvah

— Wow, we haven’t seen Wake Up Wakefield in ages. This also ends up being this sketch’s final appearance.
— This bar mitzvah setting is a very nice change of pace for this sketch.
— The surname of Natalie’s character, Hershlag, is an inside reference, as Hershlag is actually Natalie’s real-life birth surname.
— Charming interactions between Natalie’s character and Sheldon.
— The audience sounds really subdued during some parts of this sketch.
STARS: ***


A DAY IN THE LIFE OF NATALIE PORTMAN
interviewer (CHP) elicits vulgar rap from (host) about her hardcore life

— A very famous Digital Short.
— A hilarious sudden cutaway from the calm interview to black-and-white footage of Natalie angrily rapping.
— Fantastic intense, vulgar, and committed rapping from Natalie, and the lyrics are priceless and memorable. Some great visuals in the well-shot black-and-white rap footage as well.
— Funny interlude from a viking outfit-wearing Andy.
— Solid ending to the interview portion, with Natalie smashing a chair on Chris.
— I love the memorable ending shot, consisting of a brief, extreme close-up of Natalie yelling “Whaaaat?” into the camera.
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Sugar We’re Going Down”


FIRE ALERT 3000
Another rerun tonight, this time from 10/29/05


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A decent episode, and most of the biggest highlights were particularly strong. Natalie Portman was a very solid host, which really impressed and surprised me at the time this episode originally aired. It’s also surprising that SNL wouldn’t have her back as a host until 12 years later.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Steve Martin)
about the same


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Matt Dillon

Posted on

February 4, 2006 – Steve Martin / Prince (S31 E12)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE SABOTAGE OF BALDWIN
host prevents Alec Baldwin [real] from tying SNL record; Kelly Ripa cameo

— Quite a random and rare way to start the show, with an entirely pre-taped cold opening. Yet another sign that SNL is moving into the virtual age. Given the fact that this is Steve Martin’s big return to hosting after a 12-year hiatus, along with the fact that this starts with him and Kelly Ripa, of all people, on a date with each other, the pre-taped format of this gives it an epic, special feel that I like.
— Funny touch with the Viagra clock.
— I love Steve’s reaction when hearing that Alec Baldwin is hosting SNL tonight and will tie Steve’s hosting record.
— A funny and very Steve Martin-y bit with the limo and taxi.
— Alec, while looking at himself in a mirror: “It’s your night, big guy. The night we crush that little clown monkey.” Also, immediately after that great one-liner, we get a fantastic tilted shot of the NBC Studios sign (the sixth above screencap for this sketch) that may have possibly been the inspiration for the final shot in the new SNL opening montage that’s introduced the following season (I’ll do a side-by-side comparison shot in my review of the following season’s premiere).
— Always fun to see two (or more) SNL hosting legends appear together in the same sketch.
— Great shot of Steve walking down the SNL halls with Alec tied up in a rug.
— I love the bit with Lorne panickedly saying “We can’t find Alec Baldwin. Somebody call Tom Ha–”, then getting cut off by a punch to the face from a passing-by Steve.
— Solid ending with Steve throwing Alec out of the window onto the Rockefeller Center skating rink.
STARS: ****½


MONOLOGUE
host’s Viagra kicks in while welcoming MAR back from maternity leave

— Some good laughs from Steve constantly correcting himself on the date that the story he’s telling of the first time he hosted took place.
— I love the various photos of Steve with the original cast, comically cropped to only show a very small portion of the cast member in each photo with him.
— Great callback to the Viagra clock from the cold opening.
— Nice way to acknowledge Maya’s return from her maternity leave. It doesn’t feel as odd as I expected it would to see her back, given the fact that she was away for so long that I had forgotten all about her and it felt like she officially left the show, but maybe it doesn’t feel so odd because she’s not playing a character here.
STARS: ***½


A TEDDY BEAR HOLDING A HEART
a teddy bear holding a heart is the minimally-thoughtful Valentine’s gift

— I really like the visual quality of this commercial.
— Hilarious reveal of the “thoughtful” Valentine’s gift being a simple little teddy bear holding a heart, after such a big set-up from the female voice-over. Speaking of the female voice-over, I’m really enjoying her work here. Is that Paula Pell who’s voice I’m hearing?
— Lots of laughs from the many exaggerations this commercial is making.
— Great ending spiel from the voice-over about how this gift is “available literally almost everywhere”, including “I’m guessing wherever you buy milk.”
STARS: ****½


OPRAH
(host)’s memoir is as full of lies as James Frey’s

— Okay, now it feels a little odd to see Maya back, since she’s playing a role here instead of herself.
— I like the quivery-voiced “Oh, my god!” from an unseen Oprah audience member in response to something drastic Maya’s Oprah reveals.
— Funny look for Steve’s character.
— Steve’s constant contradictions about the honesty of his book is pretty funny, and a good use of Steve’s typical delivery.
STARS: ***


DON’T BUY STUFF YOU CANNOT AFFORD
Don’t Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford, says (CHP) to debtors (host) & (AMP)

— Very solid concept, and a great execution and exaggeration of the “complicated” concept of not buying things you can’t afford.
— Great reveal from Chris of the Don’t Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford book being only one page long.
— For some reason, it feels a bit odd hearing Bill do a voice-over at this early stage of his SNL tenure. Maybe it only feels weird because Chris is still on the show.
— I remember MADtv doing a sketch like this a little later. I can’t remember which sketch it is, though, but I remember it being pretty good in its own right. If anyone in the comments section can remind me which sketch it is, thanks in advance.
STARS: ****½


HAMAS PARTY
lucrative gig at Hamas victory celebration creates moral dilemma for host

— Heh, Bill keeps pressing his fake mustache with his hand. Not sure if that’s just an intentional mannerism of his character, or if he’s trying to prevent his fake mustache from peeling off.
— I love Fred’s quivery-voiced emphasis of the word “Israel” when telling Steve about “your well-known hatred of the state of Israel”.
— Fun performances from Fred, Bill, and Seth, but I’m not crazy about this sketch itself.
— Another well-delivered word in this sketch, with the way Bill said “broke-ish”.
— I also love Bill’s delivery just now when quoting Steve’s “Excuuuuuuuuse me” catchphrase before he, Fred, and Seth exit.
STARS: **½


TWO INCHES
(host) & (WLF) converse while standing two inches apart in kissing position

— A good laugh from how the loving way Steve and Will walk up to each other in slow-motion makes you think they’re going to randomly kiss, only for them to just get really close to each other’s faces and hold a normal, friendly conversation.
— A funny unpleasant turn Steve and Will’s conversation takes.
— Our very first Andy Samberg-less Digital Short.
— I’ve seen several online SNL fans over the years say this Digital Short could’ve and should’ve been performed as a live sketch, given that fact that there wasn’t anything about it that required it to be pre-taped. While I certainly don’t mind this as a Digital Short, I can see where those SNL fans are coming from. This indeed would’ve been fun and refreshing as a live sketch. That being said, one thing that this short benefits from by being pre-taped instead of live is the well-done way Will and Steve’s positions are filmed, including the nice camera angles from various distances.
STARS: ***½


QUICK ZOOM THEATER
camcorder-sponsored drama employs unnecessary zooms

 

— A sketch that seems questionable for the first minute or so, but then halfway through, it suddenly takes a fun turn with all of the (intentionally) botched camera zoom-ins.
— Very funny ending with Steve being forced to run up to and away from the camera when it fails to zoom in on him.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Fury”


WEEKEND UPDATE

— I remember the bit with Amy quickly leaving the Update desk to have an abortion offended one online SNL fan, because they misinterpreted the off-camera sound of Amy’s car taking off for being the sound of Amy actually getting her abortion. Wow.
— This Update is over already??? This is by far one of the shortest Updates in recent memory, and also featured no guests. Certainly no complaints from me regarding SNL’s decision to keep a Fey/Poehler Update very brief and get it the hell out of the way so we can get more sketches. Also, it could be said that this is the last Weekend Update to this day, 14 years later in 2020, to not have ANY guest commentaries, though one could certainly make that argument about the Update from the episode that Maya hosts in 2012, and I’ll explain why when I review it.
STARS: **


SUPER BOWL NATIONAL ANTHEM
Aaron Neville (HOS), Aretha Franklin (KET), Dr. John (JAS) at Super Bowl

— Blah, Horatio’s Aaron Neville has gotten old by this point.
— Kenan In A Dress alert. Oh, and in typical Kenan Thompson fashion, he’s playing this role in the exact same generic sassy manner he plays almost every black woman.
— We at least get Jason as Dr. John, which is a funny impression. I love the voice he’s using here.
— Did Kenan just crack up at his own line just now? Don’t tell me Horatio’s unprofessionalism is rubbing off onto other performers.
— Kenan’s Aretha Franklin requesting a stool to “rest my titties on” is….certainly something.
— I like Jason’s Dr. John returning with a gift that he had just “won and/or stole”.
— Speaking of Horatio’s unprofessionalism, he predictably cracks himself up during his own singing of the national anthem. (*sigh*) Only a handful of episodes left until Horatio is finally the hell out of here.
— Overall, despite a funny performance from Jason, this sketch was fucking terrible.
STARS: *


BACKSTAGE
with Alec Baldwin [real] & JIF on stand-by, LOM trumps (host)’s demands

— A fun idea for a backstage sketch in a Steve Martin-hosted episode.
— Great little detail with Steve wearing his Five-Timers Club robe.
— Funny cutaway to an injured and brain-damaged Alec.
— Random Jimmy Fallon cameo.
STARS: ***½


PRINCE SHOW
Prince’s personal chef (host) & Drew Barrymore (KRW)

— I’ve grown to strongly dislike these sketches, but at least we’ve gotten a long gap between these past two installments. We get an even longer gap between tonight’s installment and the very next one, which is, mercifully, the final one.
— You’d think the only reason they’re doing this sketch tonight is because the real Prince is going to appear in it, but as we know now, he’s nowhere to be seen in the sketch.
— There’s our inevitable instance of Maya and Kristen appearing onscreen together for the very first time. Doesn’t feel as weird to me now as I expected. It sure felt weird to me back in 2006, though.
— Kristen’s doing an absolutely spot-on Drew Barrymore impression, which is even funnier coming just one episode after the real Drew Barrymore made a cameo on Weekend Update.
— There’s the sequence with Fred’s Prince singing into his own mirror reflection, which absolutely seemed like a set-up for a Prince walk-on, but nope. It’s official: they’re just taunting us at this point.
STARS: **


STATE OF THE GALAXY 2145
George Q. Bush’s (WLF) State Of The Galaxy address rings familiar in 2145

— Very fun concept of a futuristic State of the Union, complete with an intro from Brian Williams 3000 and a Chris Matthews hologram.
— Funny line about how, even in the year 2145, they’re still “very close to capturing Osama Bin Laden”, which is even funnier in retrospect, given that tonight’s episode, in 2006, is only five years before Osama actually would be captured.
— Will’s Bush threw in a “We’re workin’ hard” just now. You know those words from Will’s Bush are poison to my ears after that dreadful first Bush/Kerry debate sketch from the preceding season.
— Rachel makes her first appearance ALL NIGHT in a very brief gag at the end of this sketch. The reason for her lack of airtime tonight is because she was sick for most of this week.
STARS: ***½


THE TANGENT
(FRA)’s endless anecdote spans a whirlwind movie career

— Fun to see two Digital Short shorts in the same night, and it gives this Steve Martin episode even more of a special feel.
— Solid format to this short, and there’s some fun cameos.
— Speaking of cameos, Scarlett Johansson’s “cameo” makes it obvious that this short was filmed the then-recent week she hosted SNL (and I believe this short had gotten cut after dress rehearsal from her and Peter Sarsgaard’s respective episode), though even with this short being aired outside of her episode, her appearance blends in well with all the other cameos in this short.
— Conan! And seeing his old Late Night set always makes me feel wistfully nostalgic.
— Chris’ performance and delivery as the movie exec is great. I especially like him, when upset, bluntly telling Fred “This is the problem: your movie ate (*bleep*) at the box office.”
STARS: ****


SURFERS
uncool (host) is incredulous upon learning of his ouster from surfer club

— Oh, no. I recall this sketch being DREADFUL.
— A mild chuckle from Steve asking “Even you, Dragon?” to Jason a second time, just a few seconds after he already asked him that during his whole “Even you, (insert surfer name here)?” sequence. Unfortunately, that’s the only thing I’ve found even remotely amusing in this sketch so far.
— Seth exasperatedly saying “Oh my god” in reaction to Steve’s nonstop questioning matches my attitude during this horribly tedious sketch. This is awful.
— Overall, wow. Even with the aforementioned mild chuckle I got from one part, this was indeed a really bad sketch. Not even Steve could save it. In fact, it made him look really lame as a performer; the kind of lame that reminds me of the claim some people make that Steve has “lost it” as a comedian in his older age, which I only agree with in certain cases, like in those Pink Panther movies. He’s been mostly solid in tonight’s episode.
STARS: *


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Tamar [real] perform “Beautiful, Loved & Blessed”

— A noteworthy little moment: Prince humorously ends this performance by saying “Superstah!” while doing the Mary Katherine Gallagher hand gesture.


NATURALLY CRAFTING
(RAD) wants wreathmaker (host) to spend the night

— I remember this being another really bad sketch, but we’ll see.
— At least Rachel still gets a lead role tonight, even in her limited availability this week. You can tell here that she’s indeed still recovering from an illness, as her voice sounds kinda hoarse.
— Good performances from Rachel and Steve, but I’m not caring much for the material itself.
— I did get a laugh just now from Steve hornily asking Rachel “Midge, are those boiled wool mittens?” and Rachel seductively responding “Hand-loomed.”
— Meh, didn’t care for the ending of this.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Not as strong as I had remembered, but this was still a pretty enjoyable episode overall. The first half of this episode had quite a number of really great things, but the quality dropped off quite a bit in the second half, especially during the last two sketches. I like how this episode had kind of a special and out-of-the-ordinary feel, which was fitting for Steve Martin’s long-awaited return as a host after 12 years. And Steve was as fun of a host as expected, for the most part.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Peter Sarsgaard)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Natalie Portman

Posted on

January 21, 2006 – Peter Sarsgaard / The Strokes (S31 E11)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

ANDERSON COOPER 360
Ray Nagin (FIM) spins wish for Chocolate City

— Finesse gets his first big role in months AND his first speaking role in two episodes…and he spends this role flubbing several of his lines. Yeesh, if I hadn’t already known that Finesse IS capable of being funny, I’d react to his performance in this sketch by saying “Well, no wonder SNL never gives this guy any airtime.”
— Darrell-as-Jesse-Jackson’s preachy “dessert cart” speech is cracking me up.
— I’ve said this in an earlier review, but I really dislike that dumb prosthetic nose Amy always wears as Hillary Clinton. It’s pointless, makes no sense, and bears no resemblance to the real Hillary. Sadly, it wouldn’t take SNL until the real Hillary appears on the show in 2008 for them to finally get rid of Amy’s prosthetic nose, presumably because they were worried Hillary would be a little offended by it.
— Seth’s Anderson Cooper is a fairly dull straight man here. His only “reactions” to crazy statements his guests make are just shrugging his eyebrows and saying a monotone “Wow.” Gets old fast.
— Good ending line from Darrell’s Jackson regarding crayon colors.
STARS: ***


OPENING MONTAGE
— During Kenan Thompson’s part of the opening montage tonight, Don Pardo mistakenly thinks it’s time to announce the featured players, and says “Featuring…Bill….(*realizes his mistake*)….Kenan Thompson”. (That gaffe is misheard by a lot of people as just “Featuring….Kenan Thompson”. Listen closely and you’ll hear Don actually precede his utterance of “Kenan Thompson” with “Bill…” before cutting himself off when realizing his error.) This gaffe throws Don off afterwards, as he’s then off on his timing when announcing the first two featured players, Bill Hader and Andy Samberg.


MONOLOGUE
host’s behavior creeped out JAS, RAD, FRA, AMP, TIF, KET during the week

— I absolutely love the John Malkovich similarities I’m hearing in Peter Sarsgaard’s voice, given the fact that Malkovich is one of my favorite actors and one of my all-time favorite SNL hosts.
— Lots of funny backstage clips, getting good mileage out of Peter’s reputation for playing dark and creepy characters (which is another similarity Peter has to John Malkovich).
STARS: ****


NELSON’S BABY TOUPEES
Nelson’s Baby Toupees are wigs for male infantile baldness sufferers

— Bill gets his first noteworthy role in about two months. It’s about time.
— A good display of Bill’s commercial pitchman skills.
— Meh. I can see why people would like this, but this type of humor often does little for me, including here. Far more cutesy than funny to me, and not even a particularly well-done kind cutesy, as SNL has done some more-cutesy-than-funny pieces that I’ve actually enjoyed.
STARS: **


TARGET
Target Lady’s manager (host) lets customers wait while he’s on break

— This sketch has officially become recurring, and I see SNL is already confident enough in it to place it as the lead-off sketch of the night.
— Peter calmly sipping his cup of coffee while constantly mentioning he’s on his break and how much he’s enjoying it is giving me my only real amusement in this otherwise-tepid Target Lady fare, just because of Peter’s perfectly dry and subtly creepy performance. It’s adding to that great Malkovich-esque vibe I’ve been enjoying from Peter tonight. Without even trying hard, he is MILES better here than Dane Cook’s annoying try-too-hard performance in the first installment of this sketch.
— Ugh, I cannot stand the running gag in these sketches with Target Lady always running off to get something she sees a customer of hers has bought. And the customers in these sketches always say the exact same damn thing whenever Target Lady does that: “Where is that woman going???” The writer(s) of these Target Lady sketches don’t even bother changing that line up, despite the fact that it’s completely different customers who deliver that same line, showing how thinly and poorly-written the straight men in these sketches are, which would go on to be sadly typical for “Kristen Wiig plays a wacky, over-the-top character while everybody else reacts to her” sketches.
STARS: **


PIRATE CONVENTION
host is keynote speaker at pirate convention due to “arr” sounds in name

— I love the randomness of a pirate convention being held at a modern-day Holiday Inn.
— Will is perfect as the head pirate for this convention.
— Lots of laughs from the pirates taking so much delight in emphasizing the “arrrr” sounds in words.
— Andy’s performance in this is pretty lousy. Compared to the expert performances from the rest of the cast, Andy’s delivery doesn’t sound convincing at all as a pirate. A reminder of how green he is as a live performer in these earlier seasons of his SNL tenure. IIRC, he doesn’t start improving as a live performer until around 2008.
— Funny random gag with Fred’s non-pirate voice.
— A good and fun use of Peter in this particular sketch, given his last name, which is obviously how the writer of this sketch came up with this sketch premise.
— I love how the pirates are trying to get Peter to say words with an “ar” sound in them, and how he gradually catches on. He’s playing his role well here.
— Poor Chris is stuck with no individual lines in this sketch, unlike the other cast members playing pirates here. Chris’ only dialogue is yelling in unison with the rest of the pirates. What was the point of putting him in this sketch, then? A sad reminder that, despite the popularity Chris had recently achieved with Lazy Sunday, SNL continues to spend this final season of his no longer knowing what to do with him, especially with Jason and Bill gradually taking over the roles that Chris would usually get.
— Part of what makes this sketch so fun is the fact that it’s fully aware of how dumb it is, and is leaning into that in all the right ways.
— This sketch immediately being followed by a promo with Don Pardo announcing the host and musical guest of the next episode reminds me that some online SNL fans back at this time in 2006 expressed disappointment that Don didn’t say the “ar” in our next host’s name (who I’ll reveal at the very end of this episode review) with a pirate-type “arrrrrrrr”, given the sketch that preceded it. That could’ve been fun, and would’ve fit in this season, as the show has been getting some decent mileage out of having Don say silly things this season (e.g. the “Insane in the membrane” bit in the preceding episode’s Weekend Update). One of those aforementioned online SNL fans in 2006 even suggested that SNL bring this Pirate Convention sketch back in the next episode, given the aforementioned fact that our next host has an “ar” sound in his last name. While I love tonight’s Pirate Convention sketch, doing the exact same sketch in the very next episode would’ve REALLY been pushing it.
STARS: ****½


CAROL!
at the opening of his art gallery, (host) falls for coarse Carol

— Feels like I literally just reviewed a Carol sketch. They gotta space these sketches out more.
— When this episode originally aired, I remember some online SNL fans having a theory that Peter’s “Your rapier wit delights me” line to Carol was originally written to have Carol hornily respond by twisting that line around to have something to do with how she’d be delighted to be raped by him (given her trademark of always repeating things men say to her, only twisting the words around to be something sexual she wants the man to do to her…which, now that I write that, sounds like Merv The Perv’s routine, only with the gender pronouns reversed), but was nixed because even SNL realized that a rape joke of that nature would be too tasteless, even for a Carol sketch.
— I love the cutaway to Jason’s stone-faced silent facial reaction (the third above screencap for this sketch) after Carol requests an overly elaborate drink.
— Peter is playing a fantastic romantic interest here, and is amusing me throughout this.
— Carol FINALLY got an intended laugh from me in these sketches: her responding to a lengthy, intelligently-worded, poetic-sounding spiel of Peter’s by saying “Ooooh, you talk like channel 13”.
— Overall, most of the stuff from Horatio’s Carol character resulted in the usual blankly neutral reactions from me, but Peter’s solid performance made this sketch a little fun for me, and, as mentioned above, even Carol had one funny line.
STARS: **½


YOUNG CHUCK NORRIS
music video has Doug Brogar (JAS) performing “Young Chuck Norris (ANS)”

— Our very first post-Lazy Sunday Digital Short.
— Very fast-moving short so far, but I’m getting a lot of laughs and the song is very fun.
— The fact that Andy wasn’t made to look a thing like Chuck Norris is making this even funnier and more random.
— The bits with Jason’s singing narrator character are strong, and he’s making a few priceless over-the-top singing facial expressions.
— A good laugh from Young Chuck Norris punching Amy out of nowhere.
— Like with a lot of Lonely Island music videos, there are tons of funny little details throughout this.
— Great ending.
STARS: ****


CAT FANCY MAGAZINE
Cat Fancy Magazine editor (host) fires reporter (SEM) for made-up stories

— Right out of the gate, loud and frequent meowing can be heard off-camera, giving away the eventual reveal of this.
— Heh, did the cat in Seth’s lap just change between shots?
— Boom mic in the shot, front-and-center and for quite a long time.
— Jesus Christ, Peter is stumbling over his lines left and right throughout this sketch.
— This sketch is such a mess. And am I even supposed to be laughing at the growing number of cats crawling around the table during Seth and Peter’s dramatic conversation? Maybe I’d enjoy this sketch more if I were familiar with Peter’s movie Shattered Glass, which this is said to be a direct spoof of.
— A glimpse of a stagehand placing cats on the set can occasionally be briefly seen in the shot, but maybe that’s an intentional joke.
— Even the ending of this sketch is coming off awkward and messy, with the camera being VERY wobbly while zooming out on the sketch while the fake city backdrop outside the window is all shaky for some reason. Peter can also be seen muttering something to himself in a very upset manner right before the screen fades to black. That could just be part of the script, as perhaps Peter’s character did that because he was upset over the tense conversation he had just had with Seth’s character, but I’ve seen some people theorize that Peter’s upset muttering at the end of this wasn’t part of the script; it was supposedly him genuinely damning himself over how much he kept flubbing his lines throughout the sketch. Who knows for sure, though?
— SNL would later replace this sketch with the dress rehearsal version in reruns. The only big difference I can remember is that, during one part when a stagehand is seen in the shot trying to place a cat on the desk, the cat is initially too scared to cooperate and wriggles around wildly and uncomfortably in the stagehand’s hands before finally getting onto the desk, which results in Peter and Seth looking at each other and simultaneously breaking out in giggles briefly.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Juicebox”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Osama bin Laden truce would require AMP & TIF to read the news in burqas

losing to George W. Bush has left Al Gore (DAH) & John Kerry (SEM) bitter

droopy-breasted Drew Barrymore [real] shames AMP & TIF for catty comments

— Wow, Tina’s opening string of jokes is so bad, even the audience’s laughter is extremely lukewarm.
— Very lame clip with Tina and Amy in burqas getting stones thrown at them, a gag that, again, not even SNL’s audience laughed at.
— Feels odd seeing Seth’s John Kerry back for the first time in a year. It’s giving me really unwanted flashbacks to season 30.
— Despite some chuckleworthy lines from Darrell’s Al Gore, this Gore/Kerry commentary isn’t doing it for me at all.
— Ugh, I hate how Amy always has to point out the comical Updates photos that are displayed as punchlines, which she has done again just now during her hacky joke about Hillary Clinton in cornrows.
— Not sure what the hell to think about the bit with Drew Barrymore and her comically floppy breasts, but I don’t think I like it. Way too desperately cartoonish for my likes, in that typical cringey Fey/Poehler Update era manner.
— Overall, oof. Probably the worst Update I’ve reviewed in a while, which is certainly saying something, given which Update era this is. And it’s not just me – as I pointed out a few times, even the studio audience was a bit subdued during tonight’s Update, which is noteworthy because the audience usually eats up these Fey/Poehler Updates.
STARS: *½


GAYS IN SPACE
captain (host) runs into ex-boyfriend (FIM) in a bar

— OH FUCKING NO. Why couldn’t SNL have left this dreck in season 30 where it belonged?
— Is it wrong that I can’t help but wonder if Peter Sarsgaard’s Malkovich-esque sorta-effeminate voice is what inspired SNL writer James Anderson to dig this sketch out of the mothballs this week?
— I see SNL isn’t letting Maya Rudolph’s hiatus stop them from doing this sketch, as Will takes over her duties of performing this sketch’s theme song. Oh, and speaking of Maya, wow, I had completely forgotten about her until now. Her maternity leave has been going on for so long and I’ve gotten so used to SNL without her that it feels like she’s already officially left the cast. I’m sure it’s going to feel a little weird initially seeing her back, especially when we see her and newbie Kristen in the same sketch for the very first time.
— So far, this sketch is as insufferable as usual. I am so glazed over during this.
— Seth’s delivery of the word “naked-er” provided a mild chuckle from me.
— Man, Will seems so out of place to me singing this sketch’s opening and closing theme song. I’m usually always a sucker for some comical Will Forte singing, but it’s just plain sad to see him do this.
STARS: *


FAIRMOUNT SUITES INN
lost remote forces hotel guest (host) to endure loop of (RAD)’s TV spiel

— Oh, here comes an infamous sketch. This is going to be very interesting to review and break down.
— Early on, we already get a gaffe, though a minor one: while Peter is taking off his suit when he’s about to lay down, the camera seems lost on where to zoom in, initially starting to zoom in on the clock, then starting to zoom in on Peter, then finally zooming back in on the clock.
— I’m liking Peter’s snarky responses to Rachel’s announcements in the endless loop that’s played of her on the TV.
— Aaaaaaand there it goes. When slamming his hands on top of the TV in frustration after not being able to turn the TV off, Peter genuinely accidentally causes the screen on the TV to go black, completely ruining the whole conceit of this sketch about how Peter’s character can’t shut the TV off. Not knowing what else to do, all the while Rachel’s voice is heard still doing her character’s usual announcements, an unsure Peter reaches behind the TV in a failed attempt to fix it, while we get a very awkward camera angle of him that obviously wasn’t planned (the fifth above screencap for this sketch). This now-botched sketch has really started to get messy now, as Peter and a laughing, off-camera Rachel sloppily talk over each other, which includes a comedic line from Peter that gets lost in the unplanned cacophony, where he says, as a sarcastic response to Rachel’s announcement of the hotel having dial-up internet access, “Oh, dial-up internet? Is it 1994 already?”
— Due to the mishap with the TV, SNL has now been forced to awkwardly cut to a full-screen shot of Rachel (still trying to stifle her laughter), who was only supposed to be shown on the TV.
— The head of a stagehand (wonder if it’s the same one who was seen during several brief points of the Cat Fancy Magazine sketch) can be seen rushing into the shot, obviously to fix the broken TV off-camera.
— Peter has now given up staying in character, and is aimlessly just walking around the set, loudly and openly giggling his way through his lines and half-assing the material, which is strangely endearing in this particular situation.
— Now the TV is finally working again, though a “Video 1” graphic is initially seen on the screen, making it obvious that the TV has been turned on just a few seconds ago.
— Very fun bit with Peter’s character, after having gotten so used to Rachel’s announcements that are played on an endless loop, setting up Rachel’s announcements with questions that’ll make the announcements sound dirty or ridiculous (e.g. “What did you say to your husband on your wedding night, Barb?” “WOW, LOOK AT THOSE SHRIMP!”).
— Now a stagehand can be seen handing Peter the remote that Peter “finds” under the bed.
— Great turn at the end with Rachel affectionately responding to Peter’s longingly-delivered “I need you”, and them both proceeding to make out with each other through the screen.
— Overall, wow. Just wow. This sketch got botched like no other sketch in SNL history, besides maybe the legendary first Debbie Downer sketch and, in a more recent example, the non-ending of that Cornel of Kern sketch with Steve Carell in 2018 (which, incidentally, has the distinction of being the last new live SNL sketch I’ve ever seen, as that Steve Carell episode is the last new episode before I started my still-ongoing hiatus from watching new episodes). However, all of the screw-ups in this sketch actually really amused me and strangely added a lot to the sketch’s enjoyment. Quite a lot of online SNL fans back at this time in 2006 felt the same way, which is why I’m a bit surprised that when this episode would later be re-aired, the dress rehearsal version of this sketch would be used, in which no gaffes occur and Peter is more committed to the material. Despite my appreciation for the botched live version of the sketch, I actually found the gaffe-free dress version in the rerun to be enjoyable in its own right. After all, this sketch does have solid writing and a fun format with Peter’s character gradually descending into desperation over the course of the sketch.
STARS: ****½


ELDERLY WIRETAP
grandmothers’ (AMP) & (RAD) phone conversation attracts an NSA wiretap

— Not caring much for this so far, but I got a laugh from the 9/11 gag just now, with Peter misinterpreting Amy saying “9, 11” when revealing the ages of her two grandchildren.
— I like Peter angrily whipping off his headphones and walking away after the disappointing IBM reveal.
— Meh, an easy and predictable punchline at the end, with Amy and Rachel’s old lady characters turning out to have a terrorist scheme after all.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “You Only Live Once”


PETER SARSGAARD’S SARS GUARDS
host is trying to sell 250 million of his leftover SARS Guard facemasks

— Uh, wow. SNL sure is getting a lot of mileage tonight out of Peter’s last name. Fun, though, so I can’t complain.
— Needless to say, it feels quite odd watching this Sars-related sketch during our current times.
— Even the cutaway to a photo of the Sars Guard’s warehouse is strangely very amusing to me.
— I like Peter’s seriousness when expressing regret and frustration over not being able to sell his product.
— Peter seemed to botch his “You might not be making a terrible decision by not getting involved with them today” line (unless that botched line was an intentional joke), but he managed to make even THAT charming and amusing with the way he looked upwards in a puzzled, pensive manner right after that line.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fairly messy episode (which is probably what everyone remembers about it…well, that, and the sketches making fun of Peter Sarsgaard’s last name), and an episode that I assume is widely disliked among general SNL fans, including myself when this episode originally aired. During my viewing just now, however, I actually found this to be just a very mixed episode, with about an equal amount of stuff I liked and disliked. There was almost a bipolar quality to the episode, as it felt like I either absolutely loved or absolutely hated the sketches, with very little middle ground. As a whole, though, I didn’t mind this episode. And Peter Sarsgaard was a host I found surprisingly likable, and the vibe he gave the episode as a whole is probably a big part of the reason why I don’t mind how up-and-down this episode was. While odd, he was an enjoyable host, partly due to his subtle creepy charm, and partly due to him being a good sport, especially in regards to all the humor SNL got out of his last name. Hell, he even managed to make me smile at several points during a freakin’ Carol sketch, and he single-handedly almost made a Target Lady sketch good.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Scarlett Johansson)
a slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Steve Marrrrrrrtin (there’s that Pirate Convention callback) makes his then-long-awaited return as a host for the first time in 12 years. To fit this special occasion, we also get an epic musical guest pick: Prince, making his long-awaited return as a musical guest for the first time in 25(!) years (not counting SNL’s 15th Anniversary Special). We also get the return of Maya Rudolph from her long maternity leave. I wonder if the epic host/musical guest line-up for this upcoming episode is what made Maya decide to make her return that particular week.

Posted on

January 14, 2006 – Scarlett Johansson / Death Cab For Cutie (S31 E10)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE 700 GANG
by RBS- to Pat Robertson, divine retribution explains all

— Uh…oooooooookay. So we’re starting with a Smigel cartoon? Well, THIS is certainly new.
— A very rare case of a cold opening not being live. We end up getting another non-live cold opening just two episodes from now.
— I’m always down for SNL breaking from their formula and trying something different, but this particular instance has too sloppy a feel. You can totally tell this cartoon was not intended for the cold opening slot and was taken out of a larger cartoon (which airs later in tonight’s episode), especially given how this cold opening abruptly begins with a voice-over saying “Then it’s Pat Robertson and the 700 Gang”, as if this was preceded by something.
— Very funny ridiculous claims from Pat Robertson to a group of baffled children about why God punished then-recently-deceased or ailing celebrities.
— The “Live from New York…” from Pat Robertson’s voice (Robert Smigel) at the end came off VERY hastily and sloppily re-dubbed. You can so tell that “Live from New York…” was not originally voiced during the making of this cartoon, because 1) the quality of the audio of Robertson’s LFNY sounds jarringly different from the rest of this cartoon, 2) Robertson’s mouth during that LFNY is clearly saying something else, and 3) Robertson’s mouth is seen still speaking after we finish hearing him yell LFNY. We also don’t get the typical camera zoom-in during Robertson’s LFNY.
— And the cold opening is ALREADY over, after only about a minute. This has got to be one of the shortest cold openings in recent memory.
— This overall cartoon itself was actually pretty solid, but it was just too jarring, sloppy, and poorly-edited in the cold opening slot. Should’ve either kept it within the TV Funhouse later tonight, or just aired the whole TV Funhouse as a cold opening.
— When this episode would later be rerun, this 700 Gang cold opening would have some alterations, including a re-animated ending that not only would have Robertson’s mouth movements actually match his LFNY, but would also include the camera doing the appropriate zoom-in on him during his LFNY.
STARS: **½


MONOLOGUE
host & less-famous AMP sing “Isn’t It Wonderful Being A Star?”

— I see Amy’s gotten a tan over the Christmas break. Or does her skin only look a little darker than usual standing next to Scarlett Johansson?
— Meh, another song-and-dance monologue.
— Some funny self-deprecating digs from Amy at her own lack of big fame.
— Overall, this didn’t turn out too bad for a song-and-dance monologue. Amy’s lyrics during the song, and the way those lyrics humorously contrasted with Scarlett’s lyrics, made this entertaining enough.
STARS: ***


TACO TOWN
Rerun from 10/8/05


DEEP HOUSE DISH
DJ Dynasty Handbag (KET) welcomes (AMP), (host), (CHP)

— Meh, this has become recurring.
— Amy’s song at least convincingly sounds like it could be a real song.
— Once again, ugh at all the “Ooh-wee, Tiara”s throughout this sketch. A terrible running gag.
— Ha, Chris is actually pretty funny during his musical performance.
STARS: **


SMORGASBORD
Scandinavian cooks (SEM) & (host) & their recipes are gloomy

Swedish Chef (ANS) has joined the craze for ringtones

— A laugh from the random opening credits sequence, especially the dubbed voice for Seth.
— Funny reveal of Scarlett’s comatose husband currently being in the same room this cooking show is filmed in, but this is the second time this season that Bill was stuck playing either a dead or comatose person in a sketch, when SNL could’ve easily just have gotten an extra for either roles. In fact, Bill doesn’t have any lines in any sketches tonight. I know he’s still new at this point, but for a newbie who has shown eons of potential and was very well-liked among SNL fans at the time, his airtime has sadly taken a big hit these past few episodes. I can’t remember the last really big or noteworthy role he had in a sketch. The Vincent Price sketch from way back in November of this season???
— The Swedish Chef Ringtones commercial is freakin’ hilarious, and a great spoof of this era’s craze of ringtone commercials.
— A pretty funny lengthy run-on explanation from Seth on why Scarlett doesn’t like a cup of glog.
— Overall, a pretty good sketch spoofing gloomy Swedish culture.
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
by RBS- religious kids programming covers evolution, stem cells, celibacy

— Smigel does another spot-on spoof of typical Hanna-Barbera 1960s animation.
— A great dopey voice for Darwin, which I think is supposed to sound like Magilla Gorilla.
— I like the format of this, with a collection of various religious-themed cartoons, with the Darwin cartoon being the main feature. The 700 Gang cold opening from earlier, which was obviously originally intended to be one of the various religious-themed cartoons in this TV Funhouse, would’ve flowed much better had it aired here.
— I love all the angry yells of “DAR-WIIIIIIIN!” from the straight men in the Darwin cartoon.
STARS: ***½


MIKE & TONI’S CHANDELIER GALAXY
Mike (FRA) & Toni’s (RAD) Chandelier Galaxy has classy lighting fixtures

— The first of a series of sketches with Fred’s character advertising different elegant house decorations. This is the only one where Fred’s character is joined by his wife, played by Rachel, given the fact that the subsequent installments of this sketch are all after Rachel has left the cast.
— Fred’s accent is very funny, and Fred just has a knack for making this type of material funny, much like the computer school commercial from the preceding season’s Paris Hilton episode.
— Some laughs from a silent Rachel stiffly making hand movements that match Fred’s gestures during his speaking to the camera.
— Overall, a charming and fun execution of such a comically dumb and thin premise.
STARS: ***½


DULUTH LIVE
Jim Morrison-esque (WLF) & band perform epic theme song

— Here comes yet another Will Forte masterpiece, which is great to see one episode after Will just had an all-time masterpiece (Spelling Bee).
— Some technical gaffes early on, especially Jason’s microphone not working when he’s introducing the show’s band.
— In some ways, the sketch feels to me like a bit of a precursor to the famous recurring What Up With That sketches, only even crazier, which is a huge plus for me, especially when that craziness involves Will Forte front-and-center.
— Oh, hell yeah! As if this hilarious sketch couldn’t get any better, now Will is starting to go full-on Batshit Insane Will Forte mode, with his whole angry, intense, red-faced, spoken “Thunderbird spirit” rant and his sung “Please, mama, don’t you point that gun at meeeeeee!” bit.
— Impressive bit with Will chugging a whole bottle of Jack Daniels.
— Fantastic maniacal drumming from Fred, a great use of his real-life drumming skills.
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Soul Meets Body”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Samuel Alito’s wife Martha-Ann (RAD) reacts during confirmation hearing

Nutbird News Quiz- AMP tries to identify loony Pat Robertson quotes

Shaggy Hair Corner- ANS speaks on behalf of those sharing his hairstyle

 

— Oh, no. We get a variation of the awful bit from an earlier Update this season where Rachel played congresswoman Jean Schmidt, with her now playing Samuel Alito’s wife.
— I did at least get a chuckle from the cutaway to Rachel-as-Alito’s-wife wearing a fake long white beard while looking impatiently at her watch, and the only reason I liked that was because it reminded me of the Long White Beard commercial SNL did in the late 80s, one of my personal favorites of the commercials from that era.
— Ugh at the punchline to one joke being Amy doing extended singing of lyrics from Limp Bizkit’s “Nookie”. Unnecessary and annoying.
— Is that behind-the-scenes SNL legend Hal Willner in the photo of the crazy homeless guy (the twelfth above screencap for this Update)?
— This Nutbird News Quiz between Tina and Amy reminds me too much of the Bitch Fight News Quiz they did earlier this season, though this one isn’t quite as bad.
— Ha, the Nutbird News Quiz segment ended up being worth it just to hear Don Pardo at the end say in a quivery voice “Insane in the membrane, insane in the brrrrraaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiin!”
— Andy in his own Update commentary. SNL is obviously pushing him tonight after the humongous success Lazy Sunday experienced over SNL’s Christmas break prior to this episode.
— Tina sets up Andy’s “Shaggy Hair Corner” by saying it’s the first of what will be a regular segment. We would end up never seeing this segment return.
— I always love seeing childhood photos of SNL cast members, which we see of Andy here (the fifth-and-sixth-to-last above screencaps for this Update). I love how oddly 1970s Andy’s high-school photo looks (the fifth-to-last above screencap for this Update), which is even funnier when you realize that photo must’ve been from around the mid-90s.
— In the fake album cover of Andy (the fourth-to-last above screencap for this Update), he appears to be wearing the exact same viking attire he would later famously wear in a certain popular Natalie Portman-starring Digital Short from later this season.
— Andy’s overall commentary wasn’t much, and he seemed to know it was dumb. His likable charm was the only thing carrying it. I can see why this segment ends up never becoming recurring.
STARS: **


MY SUPER SWEET 16
spoiled rich kid (host) demands an extravagant party

— Amy’s skin looks particularly darker than usual in this sketch.
— What was with the long, awkward pause just now, right before Amy said something? Did Scarlett forget a line and Amy was forced to jump ahead of the script to keep the sketch moving?
— I love Chris’ controlled frustration throughout this sketch as the father. He’s always perfect at portraying calm-but-subtly-irritated characters.
— While there are some laughs from this sketch’s portrayal of typical spoiled girls on My Super Sweet 16, this sketch is still falling a little short for me, though I’m not sure why.
STARS: **½


ONCE IN A LIFETIME JEWELERS
cheerful prater Ed Mahoney (JAS) aims to get a ring from a jewelry store

— A very strong and fun characterization from Jason.
— I love Jason’s line “Would the 16-year-old me be excited about the woman the 30-year-old him was about to marry? Probably not”, then saying “Then again, the 16-year-old me was kind of a dick.”
— Very funny line from Jason requesting a ring for his girlfriend that’s not so small that she’ll kick him in the nuts. Then when Scarlett says she hopes that’s not true, Jason hilariously responds “You hope that’s not true?!? Get in line behind my nuts!”, then admitting his girlfriend is actually very nice to his nuts, which is part of the reason why he’s buying a ring for her in the first place.
— Man, Jason has non-stop funny lines in this entire sketch. He is killing it here. Even just his character’s mere laugh throughout this sketch is a great little character detail.
— Finesse gets stuck in his usual non-speaking bit role, for the second time tonight. His chances of coming back the following season are looking slimmer and slimmer by the episode.
— Ah, this sketch takes place in Kansas City, which makes sense, as I think that’s where Jason grew up in real life.
— Hilarious ending with Jason’s failed attempt to dash out of the store with stolen jewelry.
STARS: ****½


SUBMARINE AFFAIR
oceanographer (SEM) is cuckolded by (host) & (HOS) aboard a minisubmarine

— Lately, I’ve been starting to forget Horatio is even still in the cast. He’s yet another cast member who’s airtime has really taken a hit lately (hell, he was nowhere to be seen in the preceding Jack Black episode, and there’s another episode later this season that he’s absent in, I think the Lindsay Lohan one), but unlike Bill and Finesse’s lack of airtime lately, I certainly have no complaints about Horatio’s decreased presence.
— Seth has noticeably flubbed a line in both sketches he’s starred in tonight.
— I love Horatio’s forced-friendly “Heyyyy” to Seth after Scarlett reveals to Seth that she’s been having an affair with Horatio.
— Some really funny things happening in such a tiny submarine, such as Horatio’s only way of giving Seth and Scarlett some privacy is by simply turning over onto his side to face the other direction.
— Hmm, much like Seth, Scarlett herself has been a bit flubby with some her lines throughout tonight’s episode.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Crooked Teeth”


MR. WILLOUGHBY
(TIF), (RAD), (host) pine for yucky Mr. Willoughby in Jane Austen movie

— A huge Bill Brasky vibe to this sketch. This sketch is basically what the Bill Brasky sketches would be if the characters in it were dignified 19th-century women instead of drunk, loud, modern-day businessmen.
— As always, Rachel is so much fun playing Victorian-era women.
— While these ridiculous one-liners being spouted off about Mr. Willoughby don’t hold a candle to the ridiculous one-liners typically spouted off about Bill Brasky, they’re still pretty solid.
— I particularly like Tina’s line “Some say at night, he roams the fields performing lewdnesses on the livestock…but I believe it!”
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— The streak of good episodes continues. I liked most of the sketches in this episode, one is a classic (Duluth Live), and one is seemingly forgotten among most SNL fans but a near-classic in my personal opinion (Once in a Lifetime Jewelers). This episode is also an example of one of the things I love about this season, and why this season is such a breath of fresh air from the dire season that preceded it: the refreshing and solid sketch concepts on display, such as the Submarine Affair sketch.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

 


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jack Black)
a mild step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Peter Sarsgaard

Posted on

December 17, 2005 – Jack Black / Neil Young (S31 E9)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

SANTA CHENEY
Dick Cheney (DAH) plays Santa to kids’ politically-convenient requests

— A memorable opening image of Darrell’s Dick Cheney pulling down his fake Santa beard and making that trademark Cheney grin at the camera.
— Some laughs from the kids obviously reading off scripted wordy, un-childlike requests as their Christmas wish.
— Good visual of Will’s President Bush sitting on Santa’s lap. Quite Will Ferrell-esque.
— Some funny political satire from Will-as-Bush’s line comparing the recalling of defective Xbox 360s to his refusing to recall his defective policy in Iraq.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host sings his King Kong song, which didn’t make it into the movie

— I see we’re getting a typical fun Jack Black musical number.
— The lyrics of this King Kong song are fantastic and hilarious, and the melody is epic.
STARS: ****½


STUART LITTLE MOUSE REMOVAL KIT
Stuart Little Mouse Removal Kit tempts rodents to drive out of your house

— An amusing and creative concept for a mouse trap commercial.
— Lots of great and fun little details to the extensive Stuart Little mouse trap.
— A very good ending with the mouse car unexpectedly blowing up after it leaves the house.
STARS: ****½


THE WIND
at Sbarro, shoppers suffer gusts of cold wind due to near-to-door table

— I recall a few online SNL fans back at this time in 2005 unfavorably comparing this sketch to the notorious Hot Plates sketch from the preceding season. I’ve personally never considered this sketch to be as bad as Hot Plates, but we’ll see during this current viewing of mine.
— Fred’s hobo character angrily hissing at Jack cracked me up.
— A good aggressive “SON OF A BITCH!” delivery from Rachel, who’s apparently channeling the spirit of Chris Farley.
— I’m not caring too much for the wind gags, though the execution of this is still coming off more enjoyable and much less cringeworthingly corny than the dreaded Hot Plates. The performances from Jack and the cast are also helping made this sketch a little fun.
— Funny lines from a shaken-up Kenan right before his exit.
— They botched the gag where a dummy of Rachel is supposed to drop from above after the wind blows Rachel high up in the air. Not sure what exactly went wrong with the gag, but after it got botched, Rachel can be seen walking over a dummy of herself lying on the floor (on the right corner of the below screencap), a dummy that was never seen before in the sketch, all the while Amy is genuinely laughing her ass off at this blooper.

SNL would later show the dress rehearsal version of this sketch in reruns, in which the Rachel’s-dummy-falling-from-above gag is executed properly, complete with a comical loud “thud” sound effect when Rachel’s falling dummy lands on the floor.
— The “Happy Holidays From The Weather Channel” twist ending felt unnecessary. SNL sometimes has a bad habit of throwing in that type of dumb twist ending in sketches.
STARS: **½


APPALACHIAN EMERGENCY ROOM
(musical guest) & Johnny Knoxville [real] ail

— Amy’s usual “And now, another episode of Appalachian Emergency Room” opening voice-over in these sketches has been updated in tonight’s installment to include her following up her afore-quoted intro line with a cheery utterance of “Christmastime!”, which strangely amused me, for some reason.
— Great walk-on from Neil Young as Amy and Darrell’s druggie son, who they’ve often mentioned in past installments of this sketch.
— Amy’s character in this recurring sketch always delivers her exit line in a very funny manner while walking away, but we get a particularly hilarious delivery from her during her exit in tonight’s installment.
— Ha, did I just hear Seth say “Tiny Nations” as one of the two names he called out for Jason and Bill’s characters?
— Pretty solid bit with the the huge jart stuck in Jason’s head.
— A hilarious dirty gag with the watermelon still staying attached to Chris’ crotch after he lets go of it (I also love Seth’s reaction to that), which feels like both a callback to a gag Chris did in Heather Graham’s monologue from season 25 and a precursor to a certain famous Digital Short from the Justin Timberlake-hosted Christmas episode an exact year from tonight’s episode.
— Jack: “I’m your medical ball of clay. MOLD ME.” That is such a perfectly Jack Black-ish line that you’d think he wrote it himself.
— Johnny Knoxville’s cameo as himself as one of the patients is both very funny and strangely very fitting for this sketch. I also love how he implies during his exit that he’s all too familiar with this hospital’s rooms. A perfect way to end what was EASILY the best installment of Appalachian Emergency Room.
STARS: ****


TV FUNHOUSE
“Christmastime For The Jews” by RBS- gentile absence brings opportunities

— Right out of the gate, I’m immediately getting such an epic feel from this cartoon.
— Hilarious subject matter for this well-animated black-and-white stop motion cartoon.
— Not only a very funny song, but it’s strangely beautiful-sounding, no doubt helped by being sung by Darlene Love, who’s being utilized to perfection here.
— A particularly funny bit about Jews going to sleep with Daily Show reruns in their heads.
— Even the closing credits of this are great, with the special Darlene Love-sung Christmas-themed TV Funhouse jingle.
— Overall, a true classic.
— The fact that this cartoon is immediately followed by a live shot of Darlene Love singing with the SNL Band further adds to the epic feel of both this cartoon and this episode in general.
STARS: *****


CHANNEL 5 PHOTO SHOOT
TV news team member (host) points out unfairness at publicity photo shoot

— A very simplistic premise, but it’s being executed decently.
— A laugh from Chris’ pointing towards Jack actually being a thumbs-down.
— Even when playing the simple straight role of a director, Jason is coming off so charismatic and fun here.
STARS: ***


LAZY SUNDAY
CHP & ANS rap about a trip to see The Chronicles Of Narnia

— Ohho, yes. HERE WE GO, FOLKS.
— A hilarious reveal of The Chronicles of Narnia being the movie that Andy and Chris are rapping to each other over the phone about going to see together.
— This is SO wall-to-wall with individual hilarious moments and perfect little details that I cannot even begin to single out my favorite moment. Andy and Chris’ furious hardcore and masterful rapping about such silly, non-hardcore things, the onscreen graphics of objects related to the lyrics, the brief cutaways to Andy and Chris individually staring into the camera while doing cupcake-related things in such a dead-serious style (such as chomping hard into a cupcake, or holding up an open box of cupcakes in a gansta manner), the words “SNACK-ATTACK!” showing up in big onscreen letters as it’s being yelled by Andy and Chris, the stop motion effect of Andy and Chris traveling from one end of the street to the other, the gunshot sound effect at the very end as the camera is pulling back on Andy and Chris…man, this Digital Short is top-to-bottom PERFECTION.
— When this short originally aired, not only was I absolutely amazed at what I was witnessing from this very unexpected piece, but both my face and throat actually hurt from how hard and for how long I was laughing all throughout it. There would be a special moment in another sketch later in this episode that would make my face and throat further hurt from extremely heavy laughter, a special moment that I’ll point out when we arrive there.
— Needless to say, this short would end up being a truly groundbreaking moment for SNL, and a huge turning point in the history of the show. What can be said about how much this absolutely blew up online, back in the days before the idea of an SNL piece going “viral” was even a thing? (Lazy Sunday went SO viral that even people who hadn’t watched SNL in years became aware of the short. I remember this finally made me proud to admit to non-SNL viewers that I was a diehard fan of the show, after the preceding season made me embarrassed to admit that.) What can be said about how this famously put the already-existing-but-not-yet-huge YouTube on the map, which would thus also lead to a trend of average joes on YouTube filming their own recreations of Lazy Sunday? What can be said about the huge press SNL received from this, easily the most press they had gotten in years? What can be said about how this would be such a major turning point for the then-struggling newbie Andy and would lead to him having a hugely popular 7-year tenure on the show. And finally, of course, what can be said about how much this would forever change so many things for SNL, finally bringing them into the virtual age and also leading to them embracing more pre-taped shorts and music video content, which continues to this day?
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “It’s A Dream”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Skull Island tourism board members (KET) & (TRM) downplay giant fauna

AMP & TIF list icky properties of 15 year-old boys they find irresistible

— Well, here to piss all over the natural high this episode has put me in so far…
— Ha, Tracy Morgan out of nowhere, randomly paired with Kenan in an Update commentary as African tourism board members. There’s actually a backstory to this random casting. Tracy’s role was written for Finesse, and Finesse played it in dress rehearsal, but because Tracy made a backstage visit to SNL sometime that evening before the live show, they wanted to give him a part in the show, so they yanked Finesse from his role in this Update commentary and placed Tracy in it, leaving Finesse with practically NOTHING tonight (more on that later in my review of a certain sketch towards the end of this episode).
— Tracy’s exclamation of “LIES!” in an African accent has me laughing out loud.
— Not only is Kenan noticeably stifling his laughter throughout this commentary whenever Tracy speaks (particularly during one moment where Tracy pauses for an awkwardly long time before delivering a line), but Kenan can also be seen mouthing some of Tracy’s lines. All of this is obviously because Kenan must not have rehearsed this piece with Tracy beforehand, given how Tracy was thrown into the role at the last minute.
— As bad as I feel for the struggling Finesse getting a rare big role yanked away from him at the last minute, I’m trying to imagine what this Update commentary would’ve been like with him and Kenan, and it would’ve been NOTHING. Tracy’s performance and delivery are adding the only real comedy to be found in this whole piece.
— For once, Tina and Amy do an Update piece together that’s actually making me laugh, with the segment in which they lovingly go on and on about the “irresistible” things about 15-year-old boys.
— Boy, I’d love to see how viewers today would react to Amy’s joke about the symbol for transsexual bathrooms.
— An actual fairly short Fey/Poehler Update, thankfully.
STARS: **


A VERY DOWNER CHRISTMAS
young Debbie Downer saps Santa’s (host) jollity when he visits her house

— After the refreshing Steve Carell installment of this sketch earlier this season, we get another much-needed change of pace for Debbie Downer, this time with us seeing her as a little girl on Christmas Eve.
— Oh, I absolutely LOVE the new Grinch-esque Debbie Downer opening title sequence.
— At one point during the aforementioned Grinch-esque opening title sequence, the singing narrator mentions he’d rather have his face shredded by an eel than listen to Debbie Downer. When this episode originally aired, I left on my TV’s closed-captioning, and I noticed that the singing narrator’s aforementioned line in this sketch about “having my face shredded by an eel” was written in the closed-captioning as “having my nards shredded by an eel”. The people who do on-the-fly closed-captioning for live SNL episodes reportedly rely on a script they’re provided of the dress rehearsal versions of sketches, in an attempt to try to keep the live closed-captioning from lagging behind the dialogue too badly. So judging from this odd “nards shredded by an eel” inconsistency in the closed-captioning, I take it SNL changed the line in this sketch from “nards shredded by an eel” to a much more innocent “face shredded by an eel” right before airtime. Why, though? The original line, while naughty, doesn’t seem like something NBC’s censors would come down hard on SNL for in the year 2005. This also reminds me that there was another odd inconsistency in the closed-captioning for this episode: at the beginning of Weekend Update when Tina was delivering the first joke, the captioning for that joke instead captioned a COMPLETELY different joke that was nowhere to be heard from Tina nor Amy at any point in tonight’s Update. Must’ve been a joke that got cut after dress rehearsal. (From what my very faint memory of the captioned joke recalls, the punchline of it involved a mention of someone farting and saying “Smell my democracy”. I kid you not, folks.)
— This sketch is such an improvement over typical Debbie Downer fare. Even Debbie’s typical depressing one-liners are actually making me laugh in tonight’s installment. The fun atmosphere and change of pace are helping this a lot.
— I loved Jack-as-Santa asking a very puzzled “Is that even a thing???” after Debbie says she has juvenile sciatica.
— Funny bit with Jack acting like he’s going to use the cup of scotch to dip his cookie into, only for him to immediately throw the cookie away without eating it and then he downs the cup of scotch.
— They’ve even shaken things up with the usual tired feline AIDS routine, by having Debbie instead mention her cat’s mange.
— Great bit with Santa giving Debbie a calendar of medical oddities as her Christmas gift, which she, of course, is delighted by.
STARS: ****


DESERTED MOON
stranded in space, (host) rebuffs advances of hermaphrodite alien (ANS)

 

— This is a re-done version of a sketch that Lonely Island originally did in an un-aired FOX pilot around 2004/early 2005, a pilot for a Lonely Island-starring sketch comedy show called (I think) Awesometown, which FOX ended up passing on. The pilot would later be put online. In the Awesometown version of this Deserted Moon sketch, Jorma Taccone played the role that Jack Black is playing in tonight’s version.
— Andy’s stock continues to quickly rise tonight, as he FINALLY gets his very first lead role in a live sketch (unless I’m forgetting something…oh, and Update commentaries and pre-taped commercials don’t count in this case; I’m only talking about live sketches).
— Andy’s voice and delivery throughout this sketch is kinda reminding me of Ashton Kutcher.
— I like the structure of this sketch, with this sketch being divided up into little scenes, each separated by an exterior shot of the planet while a fun outer space-type music sting plays.
— Despite the homoerotic and hermaphrodite aspect of this premise, this sketch thankfully isn’t coming off as the typical hacky and unflattering gay material that dominated the preceding season. I could do without Andy’s decision to play his character with a stereotypical gay lisp, though.
— Funny interplay between Andy and Jack throughout this.
— I particularly like the part with Andy opening the front of his space suit with his back to the camera and Jack reacting in horror to the unseen-to-us monstrosity he’s witnessing.
— Andy’s character, while drunk on Space Wine, ending one scene by drunkenly saying “Space Wine!” to himself is strangely both a very Andy Samberg-esque moment AND a very Ashton Kutcher-esque moment.
— A genuine gaffe from Andy in which, as he tells Jack “I’m all you’ve got!” while pounding his hand on the glass top of the spaceship to emphasize his point, which is supposed to unwittingly fix the broken spaceship, he accidentally dislodges the glass top. Jack makes a fantastic ad-lib in response to this blooper: “You broke it…but you also fixed it!”
— The ending text crawl epilogue is slightly different from the one in the aforementioned original version of this sketch in the Awesometown pilot.
STARS: ***


TWO A-HOLES BUYING A CHRISTMAS TREE
Christmas tree seller (host) fields A-holes’ (JAS) & (KRW) dumb requests

— Our very first Two A-Holes sketch.
— I am loving this characterization from both Jason and Kristen, and we’re getting a great display of both performers’ chemistry with each other.
— So many laughs from so many of the asinine statements from the Two A-Holes. Jack is also portraying his character’s growing frustration towards them very well.
— There’s Finesse’s awkward performance as a hot dog vendor that I mentioned in my review of Weekend Update from this season’s premiere. It turns out he’s not coming off QUITE as awkward and halting in this sketch as I had remembered, but you can still sadly sense a little bit of genuine frustration, disappointment, and dispirited-ness in the poor guy’s performance (and no, it’s not just him acting in character in response to the Two A-Holes’ oddness), presumably not only because his ONLY appearance of the night happens to be in such a small, non-comedic role at the very end of a sketch airing near the very end of an episode that has so many big and soon-to-be-legendary moments that he didn’t get to be a part of, but also because he must’ve been especially bummed that this is all he was left with tonight after his ONE big piece with Kenan on Weekend Update ended up getting re-cast at the last minute, with his role being given to an impromptu special guest.
STARS: ****


SPELLING BEE
spelling bee loser (WLF) inspires song by Tenacious D

— Here comes a well-loved Will Forte masterpiece.
— The VERY soft-spoken voice Will is speaking into the microphone with is freakin’ slaying me.
— After asking Chris’ moderator character for various things like the origin of the word he has to spell, I love Will flat-out asking “Could you spell the word please.” Chris also responds to that with a perfectly deadpan and subtly irritated “No.”
— And there it goes: Will’s absolutely classic and priceless one-minute-long (I’m guesstimating) misspelling of the word “business”, including a portion in which he repeats the letter “q” non-stop for a good while (complete with a perfectly-timed brief break in which he looks upwards in a pensive manner before continuing with the non-stop “q”s). This whole “business” misspelling is not only fucking hilarious, but it’s very impressive and daring on Will’s part, which are just some of the reasons why he’s such an epic performer in general.
— Will’s misspelling of “business” is the moment I was talking about in my Lazy Sunday review when I said this episode had another moment that made both my face and throat hurt so much from laughing so hard for so long when this episode originally aired. In fact, both Lazy Sunday and Will’s misspelling in this Spelling Bee sketch are easily two of the hardest I’ve EVER laughed while watching SNL, and for that reason, I will cherish those two moments forever.
— A perfect follow-up to Will’s epic misspelling, with Chris leaning into the microphone and saying a very dry and deadpan “Wrong.” Though that was just a simple little moment, it was such a good display of Chris’ always-excellent straight man skills.
— I know some people don’t like the turn this sketch takes with this randomly becoming a Tenacious D musical number, but I consider it to be an extra treat from this already-fantastic sketch, even though this sketch would’ve still stood as a classic had it abruptly ended after Chris’ aforementioned deadpan delivery of the line “Wrong.”
— Excellent touch at the end with the camera zooming in on Will’s face as he stares into the camera with a stone-faced, melancholy look (the last above screencap for this sketch).
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “He Was The King”


GOODNIGHTS
host, TRM, cast members end the show from Rockefeller Center skating rink

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— An all-time classic and important episode in SNL history. So many memorable and legendary pieces in this episode, including one particularly groundbreaking piece (Lazy Sunday). And even a lot of the stuff that’s not considered a classic were strong, including much-better-than-usual installments of Appalachian Emergency Room and Debbie Downer. The whole night also had a magic feel in the air, even during some of the lesser segments of this episode. This fantastic episode, especially the aforementioned way both Lazy Sunday and Will Forte’s one-minute-long misspelling of “business” in the Spelling Bee sketch gave me some of the hardest laughs I’ve EVER gotten from SNL, coupled with the fact that this was the third consecutive episode that I liked this season, made it 100% official to me on the night this episode originally aired that SNL was BACK after the dire three-year slump they were in before this season.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Alec Baldwin)
a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
We enter the year 2006, with future five-timer Scarlett Johansson making her hosting debut

Posted on

December 10, 2005 – Alec Baldwin / Shakira (S31 E8)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

SADDAM IN PRISON
self-pitying Saddam Hussein (host) whines to guard (FRA) from behind bars

— Interesting casting of host Alec Baldwin as Saddam Hussein.
— Good gruff-voiced Iraqi accent from Alec.
— Something about the way Alec’s face looks when smooshed between those prison bars is oddly adding to the humor a bit.
— Very funny part with the cruel “Your family will be dead by morning” joke Alec’s Saddam plays on Fred’s character when getting him to reveal his name.
— The ending felt anticlimactic. I was expecting more from this cold opening.
STARS: **½


MONOLOGUE
host relates lessons learned during his past SNL appearances; TIM cameo

— Alec mentions that Steve Martin is the only person to host SNL more than him, then makes a humorous point that himself hosting 12 times from 1990 to then-present day is a more impressive feat than Steve hosting 13 times from 1976 to then-present day.
— I love the use of clips of some of Alec’s earlier sketches as he does a rundown of all the things he learned from his previous hosting stints, even getting self-deprecating laughs by saying he jinxed his relationship with Kim Basinger by hosting with her on Valentine’s Day.
— A Tim Meadows cameo! Ah, it feels so refreshing to see Tim back on my screen during this SNL project of mine, given how I had gotten so used to his comforting presence for so many seasons earlier in this project.
— Very funny line from Tim about how he’s actually still in the cast; he just hasn’t had any sketches on in, like, 6 years. Great to see he’s still as funny as ever here.
— Kinda odd how Amy walked on at literally the very end of this monologue, right as the camera was zooming out and about to fade to black, to give Alec a hug to show she has no hard feelings toward him after he mentioned one of the perks of hosting SNL is getting to squeeze Amy’s boobs during the plastic surgeon sketch we were shown a clip of.
STARS: ****


MORGAN STANLEY
— Jesus Freakin’ Christ. Yet another airing of this commercial, for the FIFTH time in the first half of this seaso–Nah, I’m just kidding. This commercial didn’t air in tonight’s episode. I’m just making fun of the insane number of times they’ve repeated this commercial in such a short amount of time this season so far, which they’ve thankfully stopped doing by this point of the season.


TYLENOL BM
Tylenol BM lets (host) sleep so soundly, bowel movements don’t awaken him

— A blah juvenile premise, though Alec seems like he can make it funny just with his usual reliable dryness.
— A pretty good laugh from Rachel’s yell of “Did you (*bleep*) the bed?!?”
— Overall, Rachel’s aforementioned line and Alec’s solid dry performance made this commercial, which would’ve otherwise been a dud.
STARS: ***


FACE TRANSPLANT
(host) rejects face transplants grafted onto his hospitalized wife

— Second episode in a row with a hospital room sketch.
— Pretty funny reveal of Alec having secretly wished to God that his wife’s body would reject her new unattractive transplanted face.
— Alec “accidentally” pulling out the I.V. tube of hormone medication to force the doctors to re-transplant his wife’s face was hilarious.
— I love Tina’s delivery of the line “You racist! Have you learned nothing from the wolf attack?!?”
— The whole bit with Kenan turning out to be a guy who Alec knew in the marines is hilarious, especially a baffled Tina questioning to Alec “Why did you go into business with him after he raped you?!?”
— Great escalation to this sketch, and this material is so perfect for Alec.
— Hilarious ending with an angry Tina revealing to Alec that the hospitalized woman who’s breasts he’s lovingly groping isn’t actually his wife, she’s just some random woman here for foot surgery, yet Alec asks “Just give me five more minutes.”
— At the very end, during the sketch-ending audience applause, Alec’s groping of Amy’s breasts turns into a callback to the monologue, with Amy “dropping character”, getting mad at Alec, and asking “Again?!?” I guess this is what Amy’s little walk-on at the very end of the monologue was setting up. A rare example by this point of SNL’s run of an episode having somewhat of a running thread.
STARS: ****½


THE O’REILLY FACTOR
John McCain (CHP) & Barney Frank (host)

— (*sigh*) Darrell’s Bill O’Reilly impression still just sounds like Darrell Hammond.
— A funny line from Chris’ John McCain asking, after the asinine so-called facts Darrell’s Bill O’Reilly has spouted off, “Bill, do you even have a research department?”
— There goes Darrell’s typical habit of milking extra laughs from the audience by unnecessarily making exaggerated physical gestures.
— Very funny Barney Frank voice from Alec.
— Now there goes that stumbliness from Darrell that he’s developed this season.
— As usual, some laughs from the Mail Bag segment.
— Speaking of Darrell’s stumbliness, why didn’t he finish reading that letter about Tom Cruise? He left off the last word, for some reason.
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
“Celebrity Mugshot Poker” by RBS- infamous prison photos play Hold ‘Em

— Surprisingly, this is first TV Funhouse to air since this season’s premiere.
— It’s noticeable that this cartoon is being shown in SD 4:3 format instead of HD 16:9 format like the rest of this episode is.
— A very unusual but creative concept of this cartoon.
— Feels nice to hear Dave Foley’s voice on SNL. Too bad this is the closest he’s come to ever appearing on SNL.
— Hilarious bit with Nick Nolte raising during the poker game with a dead skunk he ran over.
— I like the unintelligible grunting being vocalized for each celebrity.
STARS: ***½


BROKEBACK GOLDMINE
grizzled prospectors (host) & (WLF) fall in love

— SNL’s obligatory spoof of the big then-new movie Brokeback Mountain.
— Sadly, Bill’s very brief and non-comedic appearance here ends up being his only appearance all night.
— Not caring for this sketch so far.
— There’s the required parody of the famous “I wish I knew how to quit you” line from the real movie. Can’t say this parody of that line did anything for me.
— I admit to getting a cheap laugh from the “Just prospecting” ending.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Don’t Bother”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Wolf Blitzer (CHP), Jane Pauley (KRW), others audition for ABC News gig

Sharif Omar Mohammed’s (KET) racially-charged ventriloquism offends AMP

a clip of Richard Pryor’s SNL word association sketch marks his passing

— A fun and out-of-the-ordinary segment for Update (and a much-needed break from Tina and Amy’s typical unfunniness at the Update desk), with us seeing an audition tape for ABC News.
— Much like Bill earlier tonight, Kristen’s very brief appearance here, in which she only says one non-comedic line, ends up being her only appearance all night. Certainly feels odd now to see there was once an instance where Kristen was this underused on SNL.
— Pretty funny bit with Darrell’s Dan Rather disguising himself with a fake mustache and the name Stan Mather. I also like the off-camera director cutting him off with a deadpan “Mr. Rather, let’s not do this.”
— Finesse plays Stuart Scott on Update for the second episode in a row.
— Meh, the otherwise fun ABC News audition tape segment ended with a thud, thanks to the unnecessary and overlong bit with Horatio’s Gene Shalit.
— Hated the brief Rent bit between Tina and Amy. That’s exactly the type of typical Tina/Amy unfunniness at the Update desk that I was talking about earlier.
— Hmm, a Brokeback Mountain gay joke sent in from Tina’s 72-year-old father. At least I now see who Tina gets her obsession with hacky gay humor from.
— The fact that the camera keeps cutting to a close-up of Kenan’s ventriloquist dummy whenever it “speaks” is making it very obvious they’re hiding the fact that Kenan’s not attempting to make it look like he’s doing that thing professional ventriloquists do where they throw their voice without moving their lips.
— What the holy fuck is Kenan’s commentary even going for?!? Not only is this not making me laugh, but I’m finding it baffling.
— Amy looked REALLY down after she made a very minor line flub during her set-up of the Dunkin’ Dog Nuts joke (which didn’t even hurt the audience’s reaction to the punchline), showing she has no confidence in herself as an Update anchor.
— We at least end this mostly-dire Update with a tribute to the then-recently-deceased Richard Pryor, by showing a clip of the legendary Word Association sketch.
STARS: *½


THE TONY BENNETT SHOW
Dick Cheney (DAH) discusses terrorism

— As always, Alec’s Tony Bennett impression is reliable for lots of funny lines.
— A particularly good laugh from the segment with Alec’s Bennett plugging the show’s sponsor, K-Y Warming Liquid.
— Overall, this was funny, but it’s probably the most forgettable installment of this sketch by default.
STARS: ***


CAROL!
on a blind date at a bowling alley, crass Carol somehow charms (host)

— I’m still waiting to be won over by these Carol sketches. Like when I reviewed the first Carol sketch earlier this season, I’m not hating this as much as I did when these sketches originally aired, and I am seeing some small flashes of “So bad, it’s good”-ness, but most of this sketch is eliciting no emotions from me. I’m so blankly neutral on this sketch. But, again, at least that’s still a step up from the frothing-at-the-mouth fiery hatred I used to have for these sketches when they originally aired.
STARS: **


HOT DOG FAMILY
hot dog’s husband (host) counsels his half-human kids (AMP) & (ANS)

— A good dumb, oddball premise to this Alec Baldwin sketch, and it’s the kind of thing that Alec can sell in spades.
— I like the little part with a distressed Amy, as the daughter, calling out “Mom!”, and the camera then cutting to a close-up of little hot dog resting on a pillow, unresponsive as always.
— Now THIS is a “So bad, it’s good” sketch that’s actually working for me (though “So dumb, it’s funny” is probably a more accurate description of this particular sketch than “So bad, it’s good”).
— Andy makes his only appearance of the night here (I’m noticing a theme tonight with the newbies, except for Jason). I remember an online SNL fan pointing out Andy looked pretty awkward and uncomfortable in this sketch, as this was back when a lot of online SNL fans were convinced Andy was not working out as an SNL cast member and that he had “one-season wonder” written all over him. We’re only one episode away, folks, from the legendary moment that would drastically change that.
— After asking his hot dog wife for some privacy so he and Andy can have a talk, I love Alec carelessly throwing his hot dog wife behind him.
STARS: ****


MEDICARE
Medicare’s high-tech info delivery methods will confuse elderly audiences

— Very fun cheesy singing from Jason.
— Uh, what exactly is the joke here? Besides Jason’s delightfully corny singing of the same lyrics over and over (which would be pure death if it were performed by a cast member less charismatic and fun than Jason), there’s no comedic conceit I can find at all here. If the joke is simply that the process of applying for healthcare online is confusing and complicated for elderly people, that’s not all that great of a premise, nor am I caring for the execution of it.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Alejandro Sanz [real] perform “La Tortura”


ELF MOTIVATION
(host) gives Glengarry Glen Ross motivational speech to Santa’s elves

— A fantastic idea to have Alec do an elf-themed spoof of his famous scene from Glengarry Glen Ross.
— Alec chewing out the elves Glengarry Glen Ross style is freakin’ great.
— A classic blooper where Alec initially misreads the written “Always Be Cobbling” motto on the chalkboard as “Always Be Closing”, which is what the motto was in the actual movie. Not only is that mix-up of Alec’s very funny, but there’s something strangely endearing about it, as it shows that Alec’s original Glengarry Glen Ross speech is SO ingrained in his memory.
— My only complaint about this otherwise fantastic sketch: it ended EXTREMELY awkwardly. What was with the uncomfortably long stretch of dead silence between the elves cheering the announcement of their Christmas bonuses and the audience applauding?
STARS: ****½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Another good Alec Baldwin episode. Despite a few flops throughout the night, there were enough good sketches, and the episode as a whole had a pretty nice feel to it, no doubt due to Alec’s always-reliable presence as a host. Two sketches tonight were particularly strong and will likely make it to my end-of-season “Best Of” picks (Face Transplant and Elf Motivation).


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Dane Cook)
a very slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Jack Black hosts the Christmas episode

Posted on

December 3, 2005 – Dane Cook / James Blunt (S31 E7)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE TREE RE-LIGHTING
a choir sings holiday songs from which all religion has been excised

— Only one episode after Kristen debuted her big Megan Mullally impression that stole the Spammies sketch, and SNL has already brought it back.
— Kenan’s decision to play Al Roker with a Bullwinkle voice is certainly………..a choice.
— A good way to get the entire cast involved and to get mileage out of the insanely large size of this season’s cast. The full cast being involved gives this cold opening an epic feel that I love.
— All the bowdlerized versions of classic Christmas songs are providing some really good laughs for me. I particularly like how the lyric “sleep in heavenly peace” from the song “Silent Night” has been changed to “sleep in comfortable beds”.
— Ha, the return of Will’s high-pitched singing voice! Nice to SNL utilize it outside of the Patrick & Gunther Kelly commentaries from Weekend Update for once.
— The scene with Darrell’s Trump doesn’t feel necessary and is basically just rehashing jokes from his Promo Shoot sketches from the preceding season, but it’s still giving me some laughs, probably just because this cold opening has put me in such a good mood.
— A fun full-cast “Live from New York…” at the end (back in the days when it was rare to get a big group LFNY, which certainly can’t be said for more modern SNL seasons). Kristen has impressively gotten her very first LFNY in only her third episode as a featured player, though it’s not a solo LFNY. This is also surprisingly Fred’s very first LFNY, four years into his SNL tenure. Even more surprising, he wouldn’t get his first solo LFNY until 2008!
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
host does stand-up about a variety of topics

— Boy, loudness right out of the gate from Dane Cook in this monologue. I’m INSTANTLY being reminded of all of Dane Cook’s trademarks that would eventually be shoved down our throats in the year 2006. I’ve seen some people say SNL is to blame for the overexposure of Dane in the year 2006, because when they got him to host tonight’s episode in late 2005, he was still somewhat unknown to general America, then shortly after this episode, he gradually became HUGE over the course of the year 2006, to the degree that he would be big enough to host SNL’s season 32 premiere that year (less than a year after tonight’s episode), but he also became huge to the degree that most of America (including myself) would get EXTREMELY sick of him that year, not just because of how overexposed and over-hyped he was, but also partly because of his one-note and rather annoying loud, physical, overly-big performance style in his stand-up (in other words, loudness and broadness without actually being funny, as many people have described Dane’s stand-up), and also partly because of him getting exposed by other stand-up comedians for allegedly plagiarizing their material.
— This monologue is going to feel weird to watch back now, as I cannot remember the last time I’ve seen a Dane Cook stand-up set, or seen Dane Cook in general. Even just hearing his distinctive voice in my current viewing of this monologue is throwing me right back to the mid-2000s.
— A lot of relatable stand-up comedy here, but I can’t say I’m finding most of it particularly funny, and, again, there’s just something inherently annoying about Dane’s stand-up delivery.
— Dane, to us viewers, regarding his choice to use rock-and-roll air quotes: “You can use it, ’cause I know you’re gonna steal it anyway.” Oh, the delicious irony of Dane Cook accusing someone of stealing material from him…
— I did get a good laugh from Dane’s bit about shooting a Superman shirt-wearing person in the chest.
— Dane seems to have a bad habit of using a lispy voice whenever he acts out the voice of an average joe character. He’s used it for two completely different characters in two completely different comedy bits during this monologue.
— Despite my annoyance over Dane’s typical stand-up style, as well as some jokes that made me kinda groan, there’s some laughs here and there.
— Some more laughs, from Dane now going into heavy detail of a perfect erection he once had.
— Oh, there’s what’s easily the most remembered part of this monologue: Dane’s bit about flicking a cashew off of his “hog” into his mouth. I remember back when this episode originally aired, an online SNL fan who was seemingly appalled by this portion of the monologue made a prediction that it would result in NBC receiving a huge number of complaints comparable to the huge number of complaints Martin Lawrence’s notorious feminine hygiene rant from his season 19 stand-up monologue received, and that this would cause Dane’s monologue to go on to live in Martin Lawrence-esque SNL infamy. Ha, boy, was that person off in that prediction. I mean, really, are you SERIOUSLY going to compare Dane Cook doing a somewhat-raunchy-but-harmless bit in the year 2005 (which was quite lax about what could be allowed on network TV) about flicking cashews off of dongs to Martin Lawrence ranting inappropriately in the year 1994 (which was much more strict about what could be allowed on network TV) about freakin’ yeast infections and how nasty women smell “down there” when they don’t douche properly? I will say, though, that Dane’s choice of the word “hog” as a euphemism for penis kinda reminds me of Martin’s questionable choice of saying “pillypacker” as a penis euphemism in his monologue, though Dane seems far more self-aware of the silliness of his own word choice.
— Wow, an overall VERY long stand-up monologue. It’s too bad I’ve soured on Dane the year after this episode originally aired, because I remember finding this monologue to be an absolute laugh riot when it originally aired, back when Dane was still in my good graces. Like I said, though, even during my current viewing, despite my annoyance during several portions, I still found this monologue to have some laughs here and there.
STARS: **½


THE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS
high school drama club members perform theatrical morning announcements

— I love the intro that Chris does at the beginning of this.
— Very fun sketch concept and another good way to get most of this very large SNL cast involved.
— There goes Dane using the lispy character voice once again tonight.
— Much like in the then-recent Good Morning Meth sketch, Kenan is wearing a wig that resembles his “Kenan & Kel”-era hairstyle.
— I love the bit with drama club members acting out a teacher slipping and injuring herself. I particularly got a good laugh from the guys saying “Ohhhhhhhh, and…CRACK!” Also, the ending with Kristen (acting as the teacher) alone onstage, humorously speaking over-dramatically into the camera while lying injured on the floor kinda reminds me of a one-off sketch Kate McKinnon would later do in more recent years, in which she plays a teacher who is dramatically lying on the floor in front of her class after having fallen down (which I recall some online SNL fans saying felt like a bad Wiig sketch).
— Fred’s pretentious one-man show bit on school gossip is freakin’ slaying me. Fred is SO good at mocking this kind of stuff.
STARS: ****


TACO TOWN
Rerun from 10/8/05


THE LONG RIDE HOME: THE JAY FEELY STORY
failed kicker Jay Feely (host) tries to land New York Giants’ team plane

— A very heavily topical sketch, but Darrell’s voice-over in the opening intro is thankfully providing us the backstory of the Jay Feely/NY Giants game incident this sketch is spoofing. Otherwise, I would’ve had absolutely no context for this, not just now, but even back when this sketch originally aired in 2005, as I didn’t follow sports back in those days.
— I love Kenan pointing out the irony of Dane’s Jay Feely having to navigate the plane between two radio towers.
— Jason’s drinking gesture was funny and deserved a better audience reaction.
— I like the turn with Dane, when alone in the cockpit, admitting he lied when telling others he has a pilot’s license.
— I liked the ending with the use of tiny model toys representing the plane being driven into a lake, because, as I said in my review of the preceding season’s UPS Guy sketch with David Spade, I’m often a sucker for SNL using cheap-looking tiny model toys to represent something happening.
STARS: ***


TURTLENECK
at a party, overheated (host) won’t doff expensive & itchy wool sweater

— This sketch had gotten cut after several dress rehearsals earlier this season, with hosts Steve Carell and Jon Heder playing the role that Dane’s playing here. (Can’t remember if I ever heard Jason Lee also did this sketch in the dress rehearsal of his then-recent episode.)
— This is a sketch where Dane’s typical overacting and overly broad style actually fits the material perfectly, and complements it instead of detracts from it. He’s taking a very simplistic sketch premise and is making it work.
— There goes poor Andy being stuck in his usual non-speaking bit role.
— Dane, regarding his itchy, unbearable wool sweater: “It’s like I’m being raped by a wookie!”
— A fantastic ad-lib from Dane where, after failing to crash through the breakaway table like he was supposed to when he laid on it, he gets off the table and then literally throws his whole body backwards into the air and onto the table, successfully crashing through it.
— A terrible and baffling ending with Amy reacting to seeing Dane’s sweater by just saying a quiet “Ewwww.” What the hell kind of ending was that?!? The dress rehearsal version of this sketch had a different ending line from Amy when reacting to seeing Dane’s sweater: “That sweater makes you look like a homo.” Uh, yikes. Guess Amy’s “Ewwww” line from the live version is certainly preferable to…THAT.
— I recall someone on an SNL message board once say Dane claimed in an interview that a mishap occurred during a rehearsal of this sketch, in which a piece of lint from Dane’s wool sweater accidentally flew into his mouth and got caught in his throat, and SNL had to temporarily stop the rehearsal of the sketch to feed Dane dry toast to help him swallow the lint. Not that I want to accuse Dane of lying about that story (certainly wouldn’t be the first time Dane would be accused of being dishonest about something, as I mentioned earlier in this review regarding his alleged joke-plagiarizing), but something about that story has always sounded odd and dubious to me. Why was he fed dry toast, of all things? Is that something that’s typically used to remedy sweater lint stuck in someone’s throat? Does simple water not do the trick? Or even just regular non-toasted bread? Am I supposed to believe SNL seriously made this man wait several minutes with lint stuck in his freakin’ throat while someone at the show took the several minutes required to make toast to help him? Or did already-made dry toast just happen to instantly be available, randomly lying around the studio? Perhaps a crew member had been eating toast? Or was the dry toast on the snack table of this sketch’s set (the same table Dane crashed through)? Why would dry toast be on the snack table of this sketch set? Is dry toast something that’s typically served as a snack at Christmas parties (which is where this sketch takes place at)? Haha, I am thinking WAAAAAYYYY too hard about this, but I want answers, dammit! But no, seriously, if Dane’s story is true, then my guess is that the dry toast he was given simply came from a crew member who was eating in the studio, or maybe from the craft service table backstage. Just one more question, though: did this incident happen at dress rehearsal in front of a studio audience who got to witness this ordeal, or was it during one of the audience-less rehearsals from earlier that week? Either way, thank god the incident didn’t happen during the live show.
STARS: ****


LETTUCE
heads of lettuce constitute comfort food as (WLF) consoles grieving (ANS)

— We have reached a huge moment in SNL history, as a very important SNL feature is born: the very first Lonely Island-made Digital Short (I see SNL’s possibly borrowing the “digital short” name from Adam McKay’s little-known short films from season 26). SNL would never be the same again.
— Even just seeing the words “An SNL Digital Short” in those now-famous white letters (the same font as the SNL logo at this time) on that now-famous black screen for the very first time in this SNL project of mine feels so significant and has practically given me goosebumps.
— A short film starring himself and made by he and his Lonely Island partners is just the thing Andy needed by this point of his tenure, given his bad struggles for airtime lately. While this wouldn’t be his breakout moment (that would come in the very next Digital Short two episodes from now), it at least put Andy out there and let viewers know that SNL may have possibly found a regular format to tap into Andy’s underutilized potential. However, nobody watching this particular short back in 2005 could’ve possibly predicted just how huge Digital Shorts and Andy’s SNL tenure would both go on to become.
— A huge laugh from the initial visual of Will very randomly and unexpectedly lifting a cabbage head into the shot and chomping very hard and loudly into it while staring at Andy with a serious, concerned look on his face.
— Both Will and Andy ferociously chomping into lettuce heads throughout their emotional, dramatic conversation is priceless. And I have such fond memories of how much I howled with laughter the very first time I watched this short back when it originally aired, so much so, that someone I was at home with came into the room I was watching this short by myself in to make sure I was alright after he heard me making loud, bizarre sounds, and I had to clarify that I was just laughing very hard.
— Will is showing surprisingly solid dramatic acting chops here. Also, the natural stubble on his face during this short is somehow adding to that dramatic acting of his.
— Great little touch at the end with Jorma Taccone casually passing by the camera while chomping on lettuce of his own.
— A very funny “Through good times and bad: lettuce” twist at the end, capping off what was an overall very strong start to the Lonely Island’s Digital Short legacy on SNL.
STARS: ****½


TARGET
Target Lady (KRW) abandons cash register to secure bargains for herself

— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring character debut!
— Kristen gets her very first big character piece.
— Well…I can’t say I’m finding this Target Lady character all that funny so far in this debut, but there’s something about Kristen’s character voice that I’m actually kinda liking so far. Now being so familiar with Kristen’s real voice, it’s quite impressive how she can get her voice to sound like that when playing Target Lady.
— I don’t know what the hell to think of Dane’s performance in this sketch, but I’m pretty sure I kinda hate it. However, we at least get a funny “weird moment” between him and Rachel while they’re awkwardly waiting for Target Lady to return.
— Blah, I don’t care AT ALL for the running gag with Target Lady always walking away to get an item after asking a customer “Do we have more of these?”
— Bill’s straight man reactions to Dane are making me laugh.
— Overall, not all that great, but if this sketch had remained a one-off and never became recurring, I would look back at it today as a not-particularly-funny-but-harmless early-era Kristen Wiig showcase, and thus, this sketch would’ve been pretty fascinating in retrospect as Kristen’s forgotten first big character piece. Unfortunately, the sketch DIDN’T end up being a forgotten early-era Wiig one-off. It would instead go on to famously be recurred many times and would draw my ire, which diminishes this debut installment for me (not that I would’ve found it great otherwise). The original review I did back in 2005 when this episode originally aired is unfortunately missing (as are all my other original 2005 episode reviews from the first half of this season), which is a shame, because I’d love to see what my original assessment of this debut Target Lady installment was back then, when I wasn’t familiar with it as a recurring sketch yet. From what I can VERY faintly remember of my original review of this sketch, I think I recall liking Kristen and Dane’s oddball characterizations, but strongly disliking the material itself, and feeling it felt too much like a MADtv character piece. (Yet another example of me seeing similarities between Kristen Wiig and Mo Collins.)
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “You’re Beautiful”


WEEKEND UPDATE
RAD’s behavior changed while wearing a fat suit for undercover experiment

Michael Irvin (KET) unconvincingly pleads innocence regarding crack pipe

— Oh, no. Amy is laying on her typical Update cutesy act PARTICULARLY thick during her “Page Six” joke. I’m pretty sure it gave me diabetes.
— Very interesting pre-taped bit with Rachel going out in the town undercover as a fat woman.
— I love the visual of Fat Suit Rachel running around the streets while screaming to random people “I’M HUUUUMAAAAAN! I’M HUUUUUUMAAAAAN LIKE YOU!”
— An obvious joke with black guys being the only people giving positive attention to Fat Suit Rachel, but I laughed when J.B. Smoove got involved.
— A good laugh from the Monday Night Countdown clip, which is supposed to prove Kenan-as-Michael-Irvin’s innocence in regards to accusations of him using drugs, but instead turns out to be him in a crazed state fighting off his co-hosts while holding onto a seemingly stolen TV set and yelling things like “Let go of me, Chris Berman!” and “This is my TV, Stuart Scott!”
— Amy’s “The Rockefeller Christmas Tree was lit…as was I” is one of her more famous Update jokes.
STARS: **


ONE-DAY COMA
after his 24-hour coma, (host) finds that girlfriend (AMP) has moved on

— I recall some online SNL fans hating this sketch, but I recall personally really liking it back when it originally aired. I also recall some online SNL fans claiming SNL stole this sketch from another sketch comedy show (I can’t remember which one; Mr. Show maybe?). Either way, it’ll be interesting to see how I’ll react to this sketch now, given how hot-and-cold I’ve been running on Dane so far during my current viewing of this episode.
— A lot of hilarious reveals throughout this sketch. I particularly like Amy letting Dane know she took the time to go to Great Adventure at one point during his day-long coma, and Chris as the doctor saying he medically induced Dane’s coma because Dane was rude to the nurses. I also love Chris sternly saying, shortly afterwards when Dane gets angry at him, “Keep up that attitude and you’ll be right back in that coma.”
— Dane’s delivery is starting to somewhat hamper this solidly-written sketch for me during his big rant near the end. His delivery in this sketch didn’t bother me before this rant of his, but he’s now starting to get on my nerves a bit, and I’m now finding myself wondering what it would’ve been like if another male host from around this time played Dane’s role in this sketch. Jason Lee, for example, would’ve been solid in this sketch. I can see Steve Carell and Jack Black (the latter of whom is hosting two episodes from now) working decently in it too. Jon Heder? Meh. I can see him overacting this sketch’s material almost as badly as Dane is. Lance Armstrong? Don’t make me laugh. And if it were a cast member who had played Dane’s role, Sudeikis would’ve fit this sketch like a glove.
STARS: ***½


FIGHT BACK WITH VICTOR RAMOS
inept vigilante Victor Ramos (HOS) scouts subway terrorism

— Oh, no. An original Horatio Sanz sketch at this point of his SNL tenure. This spells doom.
— Ugh. There goes Dane using a lispy character voice ONCE AGAIN tonight. Are you fucking kidding me?!?
— A laugh from Horatio’s character’s initial mispronunciation of the name Saunders as “Squanjack”. That also reminds me of a sketch where Horatio himself played a character on the receiving end of having an easy-to-pronounce last name repeatedly get bizarrely butchered: the Taint sketch from season 26’s Conan O’Brien episode.
— Did I just hear Horatio say “Well, let me show you a little planet Jeremy and I have come up with…” when talking about a plan he and Jeremy (Dane’s character) have come up with? I doubt that flub was part of the script, as it seemed way too subtle, though the flub does kinda fit Horatio’s character here.
— Not caring at all for most of the humor in this sketch, and the unbearable character voice Dane’s using isn’t making it any better. At least Horatio isn’t the worst part of a Horatio Sanz-starring sketch for once, though.
— They’re running the “Squanjack” joke into the ground.
— At least, unlike Target Lady, THIS ends up remaining a one-off sketch and never becomes recurring.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Goodbye My Lover”


MORGAN STANLEY
— Not only is this the fourth time this commercial has been aired in just the first half of this season alone (which has GOT to be a record), but this is the second consecutive episode it’s being re-aired in (which has also got to be a record, as possibly the only time in SNL history that an already-aired pre-taped commercial was re-aired in two consecutive episodes). It’s gotten to the point where I can now quote this entire commercial by heart. (“You’ve really done it this time, Ashley. Smoking pot in school? That’s gonna look great on–” etc.)


GOODNIGHTS

— Chris is noticeably seen wearing rather silly-looking workout clothes (near the left corner of the second above screencap for these goodnights). This outfit he’s wearing was supposed to be for some kind of exercise class sketch (I can’t remember the premise of it, from a description of this episode’s cut sketches I once read years ago) that was scheduled to air at the end of this episode, but got cut at the last minute due to the show running long (which I guess explains the bazillionth rerun of the Morgan Stanley ad put on at the last minute at the end of the show, but why not repeat another commercial instead?).

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fairly solid episode with several really good highs, and there were a few noteworthy firsts, particularly the very first Lonely Island-made SNL Digital Short. Dane Cook had a few good moments here and there tonight (particularly in the Turtleneck sketch), but his trademark comedic style hampered a number of things for me, and he seemed to get particularly bad towards the end of the show.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Eva Longoria)
a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Alec Baldwin