Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
PRESS CONFERENCE
nuke-wielding Kim Jong Il (HOS) makes demands at fawning press conference
— Seth reprises his Brian Williams impression for the first time since Seth was only in his fourth episode on SNL.
— (*groan*) Looks like I’m in for a typical Horatio Sanz ham-fest and shout-fest.
— Four minutes into this sketch, and all I’ve been seeing is a whole bunch of tepid, unfunny dialogue, a whole bunch of bad Asian accents, and, of course, Horatio both hamming and screaming it up.
— Overall, no. Didn’t enjoy a moment of this.
STARS: *
MONOLOGUE
host & AMP plug Arrested Development so that it won’t be cancelled
— The mentions of Jason Bateman’s Arrested Development co-star Will Arnett being Amy’s husband reminds me that Arnett actually made a cameo in a dress rehearsal sketch from this episode (an award show sketch, I think), but it got cut from the live show. Odd how they would cut a Will Arnett cameo from the live show.
— Jason, on Arrested Development being up against Extreme Makeover: Home Edition: “Who’s gonna watch us when they can watch a hot shirtless guy build a skate ramp for a kid with no bones?”
— Amy’s pretty funny throughout this monologue.
STARS: ***
ME-HARMONY.COM
me-Harmony.com matches narcissists with their opposite-sex alter egos
— Blah. I find this comedic premise weak, and basically just a cheap excuse to throw everybody into drag.
— Will Forte in drag is a pretty horrifying sight.
— Oh, and because this is fucking season 30, we have to end this commercial with a token gay joke, with the lame he-harmony gag with Seth. Ugh. Also, they didn’t even try to make Seth’s gay clone look like he was realistically standing behind him, unlike how they made everybody else realistically look like they were interacting with their opposite-gender clone. Seth looked like he was standing in front of some cheap projector that was showing his gay clone.
STARS: *½
MONKEYS THROWING POOP AT CELEBRITIES
Sean Connery (DAH) gets hit
— Okay, we definitely need to discuss this sketch. This sketch seems to have a negative reputation among a lot of (or is it just some?) hardcore online SNL fans, and seems to be considered a nadir of this season. At the risk of getting stones thrown at me (or, more fittingly, poop thrown at me), as I go through the sketch, I will proceed to argue all the reasons why I’ve always felt this is actually a good sketch.
— I absolutely love the opening shot of this sketch, with Chris, dressed like a rich snob (complete with a smoking pipe, a great little detail), saying into the camera with a very deadpan voice and face “And now, it’s time for Monkeys Throwing Poop At Celebrities.” I can’t think of a more perfect way to open a sketch that has such an iffy and off-putting subject matter. Chris’ reliable, Phil Hartman-esque deadpan is perfect here. (I know, I know. Some of you reading this probably don’t want to imagine Phil Hartman being in a sketch like this.)
— Speaking of Chris, after his aforementioned intro at the beginning of this sketch, I like the subsequent theme song sung by him in the opening title sequence.
— Jason’s kinda stumbly with his lines early on in this.
— A rare non-Celebrity Jeopardy appearance from Darrell’s Sean Connery.
— Right from Darrell-as-Connery’s entrance, I love him immediately halting the proceedings and being very suspicious of what this show is about, and questioning so many things about the show. The way Darrell is playing this so sternly and tensely is cracking me up, and is really making this sketch work so well.
— Darrell’s Connery finally getting poop thrown at him, and him jovially laughing about it isn’t quite as hilarious as I had remembered it, but it’s still working for me.
— I was about to say that the preview of the next episode, with celebrities such as Carrot Top (Seth) and Sharon Stone (Amy) getting poop thrown at them, was pushing it and wasn’t necessary, but then the final shot in that preview, with Kenan as Bill Cosby getting poop thrown right onto his forehead and it sticking on there while he stares at the camera in a deadpan manner with a cigar in his mouth, is an unforgettable image to me and got me back to laughing.
— Overall, yep. I like this sketch. In the past, I used to feel that the people who hate this sketch aren’t giving the actual content of it a shot and are just unfairly judging it by its mere juvenile premise combined with the fact that it’s airing in a bad season like this. In more recent years, I’ve come to accept the fact that people who hate this sketch perhaps ARE fairly judging this sketch as a whole, not just the juvenile premise, and they simply don’t enjoy the sketch at all. I can understand that. However, I personally will defend this sketch to the grave.
STARS: ***½
AN IMPORTANT MOMENT IN BLACK HISTORY
Kenny Wilkins (FIM) nixes skydiving
— Will looks like he’s wearing his John George Peppers wig from the famous Key Party sketch, only with sideburns added.
— I love Finesse’s sudden outburst of “HELL NO!”
— Very funny ending with a text crawl revealing that what we just saw was the first black man to say no to a recreational activity only a white man would think to do.
STARS: ****
THE BEST OF T.T. & MARIO
T.T. (MAR) & Mario’s (KET) songs all refer to getting freaky
— The sudden “booty so tight” turn in Maya and Kenan’s first song made me laugh.
— I love how the sexual song right now about “putting it in” suddenly ends with the blunt lyric “JUST A TIP!”
— I like the Kenan and Maya’s monotone “Oh my god, it’s an earthquake” tacked on at the end of an otherwise very unrelated raunchy song for an earthquake movie.
— The intros with Jason and Amy are increasingly hilarious.
— Kenan and Maya’s scenes are kinda hit and miss, but the hits are really working for me.
STARS: ***½
SUBWAY PERFORMERS
subway passenger (host) empties his wallet for pushy in-car performers
— Lots of pairings of Amy and Jason tonight, possibly because of Jason’s Arrested Development co-star being Amy’s husband. I remember some online SNL fans back at this time in 2005 wondering if Amy and Jason constantly playing a romantic couple is SNL’s way of playfully trolling Arnett.
— A laugh from the obvious made-up charity that Finesse says he and the young boy with him are collecting money for.
— Finesse and the young boy’s choreography is pretty funny.
— I’m enjoying all of Rachel’s harsh one-liners to the various subway performers.
— When Jason and Amy try to pretend they’re not there so Kelly Clarkson’s blind character won’t ask them for money, I love Clarkson’s stern delivery of “Pay up, I can smell you.”
— Weak ending.
STARS: ***
AN IMPORTANT MOMENT IN BLACK HISTORY
Kenny Wilkins nixes direct deposit
— Finesse’s sudden delivery of “HELL NO!” continues to crack me up, even though it’s just the same joke from last time. Could’ve done without the subsequent text crawl being the exact same from last time, though.
— I remember an online SNL fan back at this time saying this Important Moment In Black History runner felt too much like an inferior imitation of the type of biting racial humor that was regularly seen at the time on Chappelle’s Show. I can see that, but I’m still enjoying this Important Moment In Black History runner on its own merits.
STARS: ***
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Since U Been Gone”
WEEKEND UPDATE
Prince Charles (SEM) thinks Camilla Parker Bowles (FRA) is quite a catch
TIF & AMP sing “War Is All Around” in honor of Condoleezza Rice
not wanting to anger Bill Cosby, KET passes on a chance to denigrate him
— Blah at that clapter-inducing anti-Bush joke of Tina’s.
— Did we really need extended audience laughter from Amy’s tepid joke implying Howard Dean has no neck?
— The apple-eating/knife bit between Tina and Amy was weak, especially Amy’s stupid extended nervous babbling of a cartoonish “Hupupupupup!”
— OH FUCKING NO. The debut of Seth and Fred’s Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles Update commentaries. I absolutely hate these, mainly for a reason that I’ll state when it occurs in tonight’s commentary.
— An okay ad-lib from Seth after he messes up a line.
— OH, GOD. And there goes the main reason I hate these awful Charles/Camilla commentaries: the cheap, hacky, and unfunny punchline being a man-on-man kiss between Seth and Fred, which is all this whole commentary seemed to be leading up to. As if this SNL era (particularly this season) hadn’t ALREADY been relying way too goddamn heavily on the “hilarious” and “shocking” sight of men kissing each other for a cheap, unnecessary laugh.
— Boy, I am HATING most of Tina and Amy’s jokes tonight, even moreso than usual in the Fey/Poehler era of Update.
— Oh, no. Now I have to sit through Tina breaking out into a song?
— Ugh, that whole bit with Tina and Amy singing an altered version of the Mary Tyler Moore theme song during a Condoleezza Rice photo montage was awful, as was Amy’s dumb and unfunny ad-lib afterwards about how she and Tina look like synchronized swimmers in the freeze-frame of them throwing their hats into the air. Jesus Christ, tonight’s Update is destroying me with how bad it is.
— I see this must’ve been when the Bill Cosby rape allegations first started, 9 long years before those allegations started being taken much more seriously (thanks to SNL’s own Hannibal Buress, IIRC), leading to Cosby eventually being found guilty and sentenced to prison.
— Kenan’s brief appearance during Tina and Amy’s Bill Cosby bit feels kinda odd to watch now. To think now that there was once a time where Kenan wanted to refrain from making jokes about Bill Cosby’s rape allegations because Kenan wanted to continue working in Bill Cosby projects like the Fat Albert movie he had then-recently starred in. If he only knew…
— Tina and Amy’s losing streak in tonight’s Update continues, as their whole Bill Cosby bit did not work for me. Seemed mostly like YET ANOTHER excuse for lame Fey/Poehler self-indulgence, with them wasting airtime by taking turns doing bad Cosby impressions for half a minute.
— I will say that I did like Tina’s Tracy Morgan joke just now.
— And tonight’s Update has mercifully ended. Overall, oof. What a wretched Update, and further backs up my viewpoint that the Fey/Poehler era was a Dark Age for Weekend Update.
STARS: *½
GAYS IN SPACE
homosexual rocketmen encounter sperm-seeking lesbians
— I’ll say for the second time tonight: OH FUCKING NO. The debut of a recurring sketch that I’ve always despised with a fiery passion, and consider to be the bane of season 30’s aforementioned hyperfocus on hacky stereotypical gay humor.
— Did Jason just say “Bokay” instead of “Okay” just now? That would later become a somewhat common thing Kenan would later say in the Deep House Dish sketches (another recurring sketch I’ve always despised with a fiery passion).
— Literally NOTHING in this awful marathon of gay stereotypes is working for me. This sketch represents so many things I hate not only about this season of SNL, but about James Anderson’s tendencies as a writer.
STARS: *
LOOPING SESSION
in the voiceover booth, Bill Kurtis (DAH) mixes graphic script & chitchat
— I love how Darrell’s Bill Kurtis is constantly and seamlessly going back-and-forth between having a family-friendly conversation with the technicians and reading the increasingly disturbing and graphic murder details into the microphone. This is being executed really well, especially considering this is a later-era Darrell Hammond performance, long after he started seeming checked-out as a performer. His performance and timing in this sketch is top-notch.
— Hmm, maybe I spoke a bit a little too soon about Darrell putting rare effort into this sketch, as he didn’t even commit to that guitar ending. He can be seen IMMEDIATELY putting the guitar back down before the screen even faded to black. Certainly not a big deal, though, and has no effect on this strong sketch.
— Overall, a forgotten and underrated sketch.
STARS: ****
AN IMPORTANT MOMENT IN BLACK HISTORY
Kenny Wilkins nixes sushi
— Once again, the same “HELL NO!” gag as the last two times, but the funny sushi-eating premise of this one made it funny. However, this runner would probably be better if, instead of always showing the very first instance of a “HELL NO!” in different situations, the second and third installment of this runner showed the very first instance of other black phrases.
STARS: ***
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Breakaway”
RAP NIGHT WITH CHUBB HOTTY
Chubb Hotty sings a duet with his girlfriend (musical guest)
— FUCKING KILL ME. This dreck again.
— When Horatio’s Chubb Hotty made his entrance in this sketch, what was with the awkward way the curtain he was standing behind raised up in the air, then got pulled to the side? Was that an intentional joke? If so, it came off completely half-assed and poorly executed.
— Like last time, Kenan is the only thing that comes even remotely close to holding this horrible sketch together, especially his solid delivery of his line about Chubby Hotty eating Free Willy in front of kids at Sea World.
— Chubb Hotty: “Yesterday, I took a poop the size of a Hyundai.” Again, I ask: FUCKING KILL ME.
— That pre-taped behind-the-scenes video was awful.
— Aaaaaaaand there goes the obligatory huge fart in tonight’s Chubb Hotty sketch.
— Wait, you mean to tell me we get MULTIPLE huge farting this time, instead of just one huge fart like we got in the first installment of this sketch?!? I ask one more time in my review of this sketch: FUCKING KILL ME.
STARS: *
PUBLIC SPEAKING CLASS
students at a public speaking workshop exhibit presentational defects
— After two consecutive episodes of being stuck in Non-Speaking Bit Role Hell, Rob Riggle finally gets another chance to remind the audience that he’s actually funny.
— I’m enjoying how the performers in this sketch are each getting a comedic showcase one-by-one that’s different from one another.
— Yet another romantic pairing of Jason and Amy. Yep, I’m starting to see what some people meant by SNL playfully trolling Will Arnett.
— SNL saves the best for last, as the underrated Chris Parnell absolutely steals this whole sketch with his very funny Gesture Dyslexia bit.
STARS: ***½
GOODNIGHTS
— A noteworthy unplanned and funny moment during these goodnights: as Jason is crouching down and acting playfully with the monkey from the Monkeys Throwing Poop At Celebrities sketch, the monkey suddenly swipes his arm kinda violently towards Jason’s face (not making actual contact) (the third above screencap for these goodnights), leading to Jason making a very amused and surprised “Ohhh!” face towards the audience (the fourth above screencap for these goodnights), and Rachel to put her hands over her own mouth in a shocked “Oh my god” manner. The camera then cuts to a different part of the home base stage, where Amy is seen looking up at the monitor and laughing her ass off at the monkey incident (the last above screencap for these goodnights). Great little goodnights moment here.
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A lot of people seem to consider this episode to be a nadir of season 30. I feel like where you stand with this episode might also just so happen to depend on whether or not you like Monkeys Throwing Poop At Celebrities. (I’m not implying that sketch ALONE makes one like or dislike this entire episode; just that, from what I’ve seen, people who strongly dislike this episode also don’t seem to like that sketch.) I like that sketch, and I happen to feel this episode as a whole is okay-ish…for THIS season’s standards. That’s pretty much damning with faint praise, though. I’m apparently in the minority in not finding this episode to be among the worst of season 30. What can I say? While I found this episode to be somewhat hit and miss (especially the post-Weekend Update half of the show), the hits outnumbered the misses for me. However, it needs to be said that most of the misses were not only weak; they were fucking WRETCHED, particularly an even-worse-than-usual Fey/Poehler Update, and two of my absolute least favorite recurring sketches from this period of SNL (Gays in Space, Chubb Hotty), both recurring sketches of which epitomize so much of what’s wrong with this season.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Paris Hilton)
a mild step up
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Hilary Swank. The way a lot of people feel about the Jason Bateman episode is how *I* feel about this Hilary Swank episode. This episode pretty much BROKE me when it originally aired and led to me reaching my official boiling point with season 30, which I’ll be going into some detail about in my review of this episode.