October 11, 2003 – Justin Timberlake (S29 E2)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
GOP apologists Karl Rove (JER) & Ann Coulter (AMP) on CIA leak

— A new opening title sequence for these Hardball sketches. I like the brief shot of Darrell’s Chris Matthews incredulously shaking his head with a smile.
— Pretty funny pudgy facial make-up on Jeff’s Karl Rove.
— A hilarious slam from Darrell’s Chris Matthews to Amy’s Ann Coulter, telling her she looks like a kneecap with hair.
— Kenan is pretty funny as Gary Coleman. I especially like his passing reference to the infamous Bicycle Man child molestation episode of Diff’rent Strokes.
— Some good lines from Amy’s desperate Ann Coulter.
— Chris Matthews to Ann Coulter: “I would call you a media whore, but I feel that would be offensive to whores.”
— The writers seem to have forgotten to write any funny lines for Jeff’s Karl Rove (though the detective thing at the beginning of his interview was funny), and the bit with him shutting down Hardball fell completely flat with the audience.
— Overall, while this was mostly fine, it paled in comparison to all the exceptionally strong Hardball sketches from the preceding season.
STARS: ***½


OPENING MONTAGE
— After only one episode, some modifications have been made to this season’s new opening montage: Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers’ respective shot from the season premiere (first and third screencap below) have been changed to slightly different ones (second and fourth screencap below).


MONOLOGUE
host doesn’t feel right serenading a teeny-bopper’s dad (Steve Higgins)

host performs “Rock Your Body”

— I like the line from Justin Timberlake about being allowed as a kid to stay up late to watch SNL “way, way, way back in the day when, like, Molly Shannon and Chris Kattan were on the show”, even though it’s just a variation of something that Christina Ricci said in her season 25 monologue.
— Steve Higgins is very funny as the audience member brought up onstage.
— Justin’s displaying some good comic timing in his straight man reactions to Steve.
— Justin: “I don’t sign dude’s breasts.”
— The way this transitioned into a full-fledged musical performance on the musical guest stage reminds me of Sting and M.C. Hammer’s monologues from the early 90s.
STARS: N/A (not a rateable segment)


PUNK’D BARELY LEGAL
extreme Ashton Kutcher (host) pranks compiled on DVD

— Justin is a freakin’ riot in his skewering of the over-the-top, loud, spastic Ashton Kutcher.
— Hilarious reveal of Kutcher’s prank on Maya’s Christina Aguilera being him switching out her birth control pills, and how Maya’s Aguilera has a laid-back reaction when finding out about such an inappropriate prank.
— Finesse looks kinda uncanny as 50 Cent here.
— A funny random utterance of “I love Justin Timberlake!” from Justin’s Kutcher before exiting this sketch. I’m assuming that line was an ad-lib, judging from how random it was and from how Justin seemed to kinda break when delivering it.
— An overall perfect length for this great sketch, though at the same time, I wouldn’t have objected to one more prank scene.
STARS: ****½


PRESS CONFERENCE
in-over-his-head governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger (DAH) resigns

— Darrell’s Arnold Schwarzenegger impression is kinda growing on me A LITTLE, even though it’s still way off on sounding like the real Schwarzenegger.
— Odd how the camera’s not showing the reporters who are asking Darrell’s Schwarzenegger questions. The first reporter asking a question appears to be Jim Downey, judging from the voice.
— Some laughs from Schwarzenegger admitting how bad of a governor he would make.
— Darrell’s getting pretty stumbly with his lines here.
— I’m starting to kinda lose interest in this, though the material isn’t exactly terrible. Just nothing special.
STARS: **½


A MESSAGE FROM NICK LACHEY & JESSICA SIMPSON
Nick Lachey (JIF) & Jessica Simpson (host) fail to dispel her ditzy image

— A lot of laughs from Justin’s portrayal of Jessica Simpson, and he has lots of funny ditzy lines.
— If only Jimmy could look like he’s NOT about to bust out laughing any second.
— A very funny ending with Justin’s Jessica explaining what she means by “drop the kids off at the pool”.
STARS: ****


BENNY’S VS. OMELETVILLE
singing & dancing mascot (host) overshadows rival breakfast hawker (CHP)

— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring character debut!
— Meh. I never cared for these very audience-pandering Dancing Mascot sketches.
— I will say that Justin’s energy in tonight’s installment of this sketch is very fun. He would have that same energy in all the subsequent installments of this sketch, but I’m finding that his energy is more endearing here in the first installment.
— Justin’s songs here are thankfully much shorter than the ones he would typically do in later installments of this sketch.
STARS: **½


DIRECTV
Gary Busey (JER) preempts DIRECTV fan letter to praise booby channels

— Jeff’s Gary Busey is always a huge treat.
— Busey’s various stories here are freakin’ hilarious.
— A particularly funny clarification from Busey on his revelation of his farts smelling like butterscotch: “That’s not a joke, they smell like either butt or scotch.”
STARS: ****½


BIRTHDAY DINNER
Sully, Denise, her brother (host) misbehave in a swanky restaurant

— A good laugh from Sully yelling at an old lady for not participating in the Red Sox chant that he starts in the restaurant.
— Funny bit with Sully, Denise, and Justin’s character immediately changing their orders of alcoholic drinks after their waiter asks for some I.D.
— For the second episode in a row, we get a display of horrible overacting from Seth, this time when he’s angrily telling off the Boston Teens and Justin at the end of this sketch. After recently being surprised to discover what a good first season Seth had, I’ve been finding him increasingly forgettable and try-too-hard-ish with each passing season I’ve reviewed since then.
— Overall, this sketch was pretty much a return to form for the Boston Teens after their subpar last installment with Bernie Mac, but it’s probably a good thing there’s only one Boston Teens sketch remaining during Jimmy’s tenure as a cast member.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
host performs “Senorita”


WEEKEND UPDATE
TIF reciprocates privacy invasion of Kobe Bryant’s lawyer Pamela Mackey

— Tina’s Pamela Mackey rant was very hit-and-miss with me.
— Pretty fun bit with Jimmy and Tina sharing dirty Dutch terms with each other.
— Wow, this Update is over already, and with no guest commentaries. A rarity at this point of SNL’s run to have a commentary-less Update.
STARS: ***


THE SHARON OSBOURNE SHOW
shorn Michael Bolton (host) sings

— I usually always like Amy’s Sharon Osbourne impression, but I’m not crazy at all about the idea of her starring in her own talk show sketch, even though I know this sketch is a spoof of an actual talk show that the real Sharon Osbourne hosted at the time.
— Fred’s Quentin Tarantino impression is very funny and spot-on, even if he looks absolutely nothing like him. At this time, it was a huge rarity to see Fred do celebrity impressions. I think the only one he did prior to this was of Uday Hussein, and that was the type of impression that doesn’t require the performer to actually imitate the voice and mannerisms of the person they’re playing.
— Despite a decent performance from Amy, my only laughs here are from the other performers.
— Justin’s doing a very accurate imitation of Michael Bolton’s singing voice.
STARS: **½


THE RAINBOW CONNECTION
host & Kermit’s Muppeteer (WLF) brawl during “Rainbow Connection” duet

— Very good imitation of Kermit’s voice from a not-revealed-yet Will Forte. I remember when this sketch originally aired, I almost did think that was the real voice of Kermit, though the shoddy-looking Kermit puppet made it obvious that it wasn’t.
— The way this Justin/Kermit duet is being played so straight for so long is going to make the eventual comedic reveal that I’m aware of come off that much funnier.
— Aaaaaand there it is. Great comedic turn with Justin getting into a wild fight with Will as Kermit’s puppeteer.
— Speaking of Will, his lack of airtime this season so far is very puzzling. SNL went through the trouble of promoting him after one season, only for him to get literally almost NOTHING to do in the season premiere, and then to have his only appearance in tonight’s episode be this sketch. At least he’s still making the best of his very limited airtime so far this season, as he stole the Telemarketers sketch in the season premiere with only one line, and this Rainbow Connection sketch I’m currently reviewing is famous as an SNL masterpiece.
— Very funny detail of Will wearing suspenders and a tie-dye shirt, which seems believable for a puppeteer.
— Will, as Kermit: “Can you say you’re sorry to Bill for being a douchebag?”
— Perfect ending.
STARS: *****


CARL WEATHERS FOR GOVERNOR
Carl Weathers [real] aims to become third governor from cast of Predator

— Fun guest spot from Carl Weathers, reminding me how much I liked him as a host back in season 13.
— I’m getting some good laughs from Weathers’ various bad movie-related puns, such as his line about how he has the “Apollo Creed-entials” to be governor.
STARS: ***½


BACKSTAGE
AMP comes on to decade-younger host during rehearsal in dressing room

— A funny sudden change in Amy’s tone the second time she asks Justin “Can you imagine that?” after bringing up the possibility of them having sex.
— A great little “Just let me do this” comment from Amy when she’s tightly clinging onto Justin at the end of this.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
host performs “Cry Me A River”


THE BARRY GIBB TALK SHOW
California politics & fulsome falsetto

— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring sketch debut! (I believe this is the first time I’ve ever used that line twice in the same episode review.)
— An extremely fun and memorable opening theme song.
— Jimmy’s speaking voice as Barry Gibb is a riot, as is his no-nonsense, temperamental attitude towards the guests.
— Such a random premise, but it’s coming off very well in its execution, especially with Jimmy’s extremely committed performance. For once, Jimmy’s not even falling victim to his usual case of the giggles (minus some smirking whenever Justin breaks).
— I always like whenever someone on SNL does an impression of a former cast member, and Jeff’s Al Franken is an absolutely perfect imitation.
— I particularly love the “I’ll put you in the ground” part with the Gibb Brothers.
— It’s a damn shame SNL would eventually ruin this overall great one-off sketch by turning it into an unnecessary recurring sketch.
STARS: ****½


GOODNIGHTS


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A great episode, with a lot of very strong and memorable sketches, and an unexpectedly (at the time) very impressive hosting debut from Justin Timberlake. I would go on to have some issues with Justin’s subsequent episodes (issues that I’ll get to when covering those episodes), but I have almost nothing but praise for tonight’s episode and this debut hosting stint of Justin’s.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jack Black)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Halle Berry