Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
ADDRESS
Kim Jong Il (HOS) delineates the roots of his irrational behavior
— Our first of quite a number of tedious translator cold opening from this season.
— Kim Jong Il’s listing off of his endless psychological disorders is awfully reminiscent of the Dell Computer Guy commentary on Weekend Update earlier this season. Both that commentary and tonight’s cold opening even use Gender Dysphoria as one of the psychological disorders.
— (*sigh*) I’m two minutes into this, and I’ve barely laughed.
— Blah, most of this cold opening is just an endless, unfunny listing off of psychological disorders and the medications that Jong Il takes.
— Overall, worst cold opening of the season so far.
STARS: *½
MONOLOGUE
in honor of host, Manhattanites (CHP) & (RAD) pretend to be NASCAR fans
— Nice to see Parnell playing a role different from what SNL usually typecasts him as.
— After a somewhat-funny/somewhat-iffy first half, we get a decent reveal that Parnell and Rachel are only acting like rowdy NASCAR fans because they’re New Yorkers who waited a long time to get SNL tickets, and it turned out to be tickets for a Jeff Gordon-hosted episode. Parnell’s dignified voice during this whole reveal is a nice touch.
STARS: **½
JOE HETERO
Joe Hetero (SEM) is the likewise-misnamed follow-up to Joe Millionaire
— A quick and decent Joe Millionaire parody with an amusing reveal, kicking off tonight’s runner.
STARS: ***
BRIAN FELLOW’S SAFARI PLANET
supposedly-armless snake can’t be trusted
— Right out of the gate, Gordon already messes up the first name of his character, but he’s not an actor, so he has an excuse. (What’s DeNiro’s excuse?)
— Very funny threat from Brian Fellow about putting his foot in the snake’s ass and making a boot.
— Horatio as a Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet guest AGAIN, after he was a guest in the last installment of this sketch and performed so lousily in it, being all giggly for no reason?
— Tracy’s even more stumbly with his lines throughout this sketch than Jeff Gordon is.
— A good laugh from Brian Fellow comparing the sheep to Tiger Woods when Brian is confused over the sheep being black or Chinese.
— There goes Horatio’s giggliness again, this time in response to his sheep unexpectedly eating from plants on the set.
— Funny thought bubble of a snake punching Brian Fellow’s mother.
STARS: ***½
ACCESS HOLLYWOOD
Diana Ross (MAR) performs while failing a sobriety test
— Jimmy finally displays his FIRST celebrity impression all season. It’s odd he went this long without doing one, considering how common his impressions used to be and the fact that they’re where his real knack lies.
— Jimmy’s Pat O’Brien impression is okay, but it’s an impression I would eventually go on to get sick of the following season when it gets overused in quite a number of sketches with questionable writing.
— A laugh from Maya’s Diana Ross signing her written sobriety test as “To Dabney Coleman, we’ll always have Aspen, with love, Diana Rose.”
— I like the exchange between the two cops when one of them unintentionally pulls off Diana Ross’ wig: “What should I do with this?” “Cuff it and read it its rights?” That made me laugh more than a lot Maya’s antics in this sketch, which are falling fairly flat with me and (kinda) the studio audience.
STARS: **
JOE CAUCASIAN
Joe Caucasian (TRM) is the latest FOX reality show with a twist
— A huge laugh from Tracy’s bad white make-up and classic one-liner into the camera: “I’mma get all these white chicks pregnant.”
— At the end, the audience seemed confused over whether to applaud or not. I’m getting bad flashbacks to the very unresponsive audience from the Sarah Michelle Gellar episode.
STARS: ****
CAREER DAY
on career day, carpet salesman (SEM) is upstaged by fighter pilot (host)
— Two minutes into this sketch, and I finally get my first real laugh, with one kid yelling during Seth’s presentation “This is so boring!”, and Amy responding to the kid “That is no way to talk to your father!”
— Good ad-lib from Amy after she mistakenly says the awkwardly-worded sentence “I do might like a pair.”
— Overall, blah. This sketch was just as bland as Seth’s carpet salesman character was.
STARS: **
STAR DATES
Gary Busey (JER) embarrasses himself while out with (RAD)
— Dean (in a role where he actually gets more than one measly line) is playing Jordan Black, who, funnily enough, would go on to become an SNL writer the following season, IIRC.
— Yes! The debut of Jeff Richards’ Gary Busey impression! This impression of his is absolutely killer.
— Lots of laughs all throughout this sketch from Richards-as-Busey’s insane, oddball spiels and stories. Or, at least I’m getting a lot of laughs. The studio audience, on the other hand, isn’t giving this sketch the love it deserves.
— Funny sequence with Gordon beating Busey’s ass.
— The “Coming up next on Star Dates” ending scene came off kinda unnecessary and awkwardly executed.
STARS: ****
JOE NOT-A-RAPIST
Joe Not-A-Rapist (CHP) brings deception of potential brides to a new low
— A funny dark premise for this installment of tonight’s Joe Millionaire runner, and Parnell as the rapist gives a great skeevy look into the camera at the end.
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I’m With You”
WEEKEND UPDATE
Brigitte Boisselier (AMP) & Rael (CHK) bask in the success of Clonaid
in his head, JIF prematurely gloats about consequences of winning Grammy
prospect of biopic has caused Gay Hitler to go Hollywood
— Amy’s mere facial expression at beginning of her and Kattan’s commentary is funny.
— Amy and Kattan’s cloned baby turns out to be the same deformed baby character that Rachel used to play in those Angelina Jolie Update commentaries. Always funny to see that character walk on. However, I wasn’t too crazy about anything else in the overall Amy/Kattan commentary.
— I like the use of a fake brick wall behind Jimmy (held by Tina) during Jimmy’s intentionally corny stand-up-comedian-type joke about discarded Christmas trees.
— A solid out-of-the-ordinary sequence with Jimmy’s inner thoughts regarding being nominated for a Grammy.
— Now this segment with Jimmy’s inner thoughts has gotten even better with the whole bit with Will as Jimmy’s old high school buddy. What’s with the audience member sitting behind him, though? He’s mugging up a storm.
— The Ghostbusters part of Jimmy’s inner thought sequence is particularly funny.
— “The Pink Fuhrer”? Oh, no, does that mean we’re in for another Gay Hitler walk-on?
— Oh, god, it’s even worse than I thought. Kattan’s playing a hybrid of Gay Hitler and that unbelievably god-awful Hollywood character that Kattan once did on Update last season. Jesus Christ. Oh, and by the way, why the hell are we seeing Kattan TWICE on tonight’s Update, doing two completely different commentaries as two completely different characters? Kattan, you ain’t no Tim Kazurinsky.
— A very random but fun little bit at the very end, where, after Jimmy and Tina sign off, instead of Jimmy doing his trademark pencil throw towards the camera (which he blatantly refrained from doing the last few Updates), SNL writer Eric Slovin appears as a Shakespearean actor and takes Jimmy’s pencil away in a case. This would go on to be a running gag for the remainder of this season, with Eric Slovin walking on as a different character each time and taking Jimmy’s pencil away in different ways.
— The long streak of me not caring for any of the guest commentaries on Weekend Update continues, with tonight being the SIXTH consecutive Update that’s happened in. This is getting ridiculous. However, at least the non-commentary portions of tonight’s Update really stepped it up and was easily the best that Update has been all season, feeling like a return to form for Jimmy and Tina. (It doesn’t last, though. In fact, I recall Tina having a particularly weak night in the Update from the very next episode.)
STARS: ***½
AQUARIUM REPAIRMEN
aquarium repairmen (JIF) & (HOS) make stream-of-consciousness wisecracks
— OH. NO. Here comes a very notorious Fallon/Sanz sketch that Jimmy and Horatio would themselves later call “The worst sketch we’ve ever done”.
— Hearing Jimmy speaking in that voice reminds me that a fellow SNL reviewer back in 2003 pointed out in his review of this sketch that Jimmy appeared to be doing an imitation of the voice Christopher Guest used in those “I hate when that happens” sketches that Guest regularly did with Billy Crystal back in season 10.
— Good God, this “Ova heah” routine of Jimmy and Horatio’s is FUCKING TORTURE. Not even the audience is laughing at this crap. I remember saying in my original review of this sketch that this felt like SNL was using a leftover script for a typical bad Chris Farley/Adam Sandler sketch from the 94-95 season. I also remember one or two online SNL fans back in 2003 defending this sketch by saying it seemed to be SNL intentionally doing a self-deprecating spoof of their own bad, one-note, catchphrase-delivering characters. Yeah, I don’t see it. If this was intended as a spoof of bad SNL characters, I feel like SNL would’ve been a lot more wink-wink and obvious in their approach. And even if this sketch was SNL doing a self-deprecating spoof, it’s completely undermined by casting Jimmy and Horatio in the lead roles, who are making this less into an SNL self-deprecating piece and are turning it more into a showcase of the typical self-indulgent jackassery we get whenever those two guys are paired together.
— What the hell was with Amy’s random panicked yell of “My family pictures!” when Jimmy and Horatio frantically bolt out of the house? That line makes no sense to me.
— Aaaaaaand there goes our obligatory Fallon/Sanz giggling meltdown, derailing this already far-gone, disastrous sketch. This is probably the #1 most infamous, notorious example of Fallon/Sanz breaking. And why in the world is Jimmy pulling off his fake mustache during his laughing here? Are he and Horatio just flat-out giving up on this sketch, knowing how far-gone and derailed it’s become?
— Not even Fred’s pants-around-his-ankles mental breakdown is helping this.
— An awful “Gary’s Fish Tanks” reveal at the end.
— My thoughts of this overall sketch as a whole? Two words: fucking oof.
STARS: * (and even that’s being generous)
CHARLIE ROSE
unfocused interview annoys Donald Rumsfeld (DAH)
— Good to see another Jeff Richards celebrity impression showcase tonight, this time getting a full sketch for his solid Charlie Rose impression that we formerly only saw a brief glimpse of in a Mango sketch from the preceding season.
— This is Darrell’s first and ONLY appearance of this episode. I remember it felt to me at the time this sketch originally aired that 1) Darrell making his only appearance of the night in such a late spot in the show was a possible sign that he was on his way out, and 2) this sketch was a possible passing-of-the-torch between impressionist extraordinaires Darrell and Jeff. As we know now, I ended up being dead wrong about BOTH theories. Who would’ve guessed at this time that Jeff would abruptly be gone from the show just a little over a year later, and Darrell would stay until freakin’ 2009?
— Ehh, this sketch is going nowhere. The premise of Darrell’s Donald Rumsfeld constantly getting cut off by Richards’ Charlie Rose throughout the interview has been done to death elsewhere on SNL, and was done better. Oh, and once again tonight, the audience is dead during this sketch.
— Okay, I finally got a laugh, from Rose confusing Rumsfeld for increasingly un-Rumsfeld-like people, like Marv Albert and the Hamburglar, and even that’s just a cheap laugh.
— A weak and cliched ending with Rose declaring “We’re out of time” before he’s even gotten to the question he wanted to ask Rumsfeld, then beginning to talk too much during his sign-off, leading to Rumsfeld angrily walking out.
STARS: *½
JOE DUDE
Joe Dude (TIF) seeks a same-sex marriage on the sly
— This Joe Millionaire runner is kinda getting old, though the reveal of Tina as a woman disguising herself as a male bachelor is worth a laugh, as is her delivery of “I wish I could marry all of you. Damn!”
— There was originally going to be a FIFTH edition of tonight’s Joe Millionaire runner, with Jeff Richards playing “Joe Huge Penis”. It would end up getting cut after dress rehearsal.
STARS: ***
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Complicated”
THE TERRYE FUNCK HOUR
amateurish show is taped in Terrye Funck (CHP)’s basement
— Once again tonight, it’s nice to see Parnell being cast in a role that’s different from the roles he usually gets typecast in. Also nice to see him so front-and-center here, where he gets to carry most of the sketch in a comedic role.
— Oh, is Jeff Gordon tonight’s SNL host? I’ve been starting to forget that, considering it feels like he’s been absent from half of tonight’s sketches.
— Gordon finally plays a comedic character tonight. His performance here is corny as all hell, but he’s making me laugh.
— There’s not much to this sketch, though I am liking Parnell and Gordon’s performances.
STARS: **½
STRIPPER POLE
liven up your party with the staple of exotic dancing
— Oh my god. The usually extremely underused Dean Edwards in a… CO-STARRING role???
— Boy, this sketch is absolutely flat and a dud. And, ONCE AGAIN tonight, the audience is dead. This has the hollow feel of a bad sketch from one of SNL’s three most notorious seasons (6, 11, and 20).
— Even in a co-starring role, Dean’s not adding anything to this. Hell, not even usual sketch-saver Tracy, or Amy’s skewering of big-boobed bimbos, can save this.
STARS: *
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Man, what a rough episode. While there were some solid highlights, they were extremely outnumbered by a lot of lousy sketches, including one of the worst sketches I’ve ever reviewed in this SNL project of mine (Aquarium Repairmen). The increasingly unresponsive studio audience also didn’t help the feel of tonight’s episode. Overall, definitely one of the weakest episodes I’ve reviewed in a long time.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Al Gore)
a big step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Ray Liotta