April 12, 2003 – Ray Romano / Zwan (S28 E17)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

LIVE ADDRESS
Saddam Hussein (HOS) avers that he’s alive, in Baghdad, on Saturday night

— Yet another damn translator cold opening this season. Cold openings in the second half of this season are in desperate need of a shake-up, because not only have most of them been very poorly written, but most of them have been stuck in a rut of being either 1) addresses to the nation from President Bush or 2) translated messages from foreign people. Enough is enough.
— Some laughs from Horatio-as-Saddam’s desperation to prove he’s still alive and that this video wasn’t taped in advance before his possible assassination, but this cold opening isn’t anything particularly great. I did get a good laugh from the bit with Saddam’s failed walnut-breaking attempt, though.
STARS: **½


MONOLOGUE
host does stand-up about hotel room adult movies & parenting young kids

— It’s great to get two stand-up monologues for two consecutive episodes, even if I was a little underwhelmed by Bernie Mac’s stand-up in the last episode.
— Very funny bit about getting hate mail from people with OCD.
— He’s doing a bit about identical twins again, like in his last monologue? I hope he doesn’t re-use the same material about ugly twins.
— Okay, he’s thankfully doing new material about twins.
— Good bit about how your happiness peaks at 4 years old, especially the part about how impossible it is for adults to think about candy.
— Overall, as funny as this was, this didn’t feel quite as strong as Ray’s usual stand-up material, nor as strong or memorable as Ray’s monologue from the first episode he hosted. Why have such solid stand-up comedians like Ray and Bernie Mac not been using their “A” material on SNL this season?
STARS: ***½


WHAT’S THE RUSH?
(host) thinks chaste couple (SEM) & (AMP) should bone

— It feels like this season hasn’t had many sketches lately that display Seth and Amy’s great chemistry.
— Seth and Amy are pretty funny with how on-edge they are from their sexual abstinence, even if this premise feels awfully derivative. In fact, didn’t SNL already do a talk show sketch about on-edge abstinent couples, in the Savin’ It sketch from season 25’s Julianna Margulies episode?
— A good laugh from Seth delivering a very intense “I am gonna kill you!” to Amy with a friendly smile on his face.
— Ray looks hilarious in that wig, mustache, and outfit.
— Funny bit with Seth pouring water all over his crotch to calm his horniness down. This is what I had always remembered the most from this sketch.
— Solid performance from Ray as this sleazy character.
— Wasn’t crazy about that ending.
STARS: ***½


WAKE UP WAKEFIELD!
Sheldon’s dad (host) gives tax advice on career day

— Sheldon’s timid “Hey” whenever he greets viewers at the beginning of every installment of this sketch always gets me.
— Between the What’s The Rush sketch and this, what’s with the bone/boner theme in tonight’s episode?
— SNL has been making lots of mentions of Adrien Brody these past two episodes. That’s understandable, given how huge he became around this time, but these constant Brody mentions on SNL have aged so poorly, considering what a notorious host he would turn out to be the following month.
— A laugh from Sheldon’s poor attempt to imitate David Letterman’s comedy style.
— Ray walks on with another funny visual appearance, this time looking like an adult version of Sheldon.
— Funny awkward bit between Sheldon’s father and Horatio’s teacher character.
— Ray is very good and believable as Sheldon’s father.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Lyric”


WEEKEND UPDATE
sore winner SEM relishes victory in SNL’s NCAA basketball office pool

Iraqi Minister of Information Muhammad Said Al-Sahhaf (DAH) spins lamely

— A change of pace from Seth’s usual Update commentaries as himself.
— At first, I had no idea what to think about this Seth commentary, but I’ve gotten into it after a while. There’s a very over-the-top, “so bad, it’s good” or “so dumb, it’s funny” quality to this bit that’s working for me.
— I love Seth’s reaction when realizing he won only $150 in the office pool.
— What was with the lack of sound effects during Jimmy’s repeated punching of Tina? That sound effects failure caused this bit to fall completely flat and come off kinda pointless.
— ANOTHER boner mention tonight? Yeah, there’s definitely a theme going on tonight.
— Darrell’s overall commentary was pretty whatever. Did very little for me (which also describes a lot of Darrell’s performances in general lately, even though he at least showed energy here, unlike the lethargic, awkward performances he’s been giving in some sketches lately).
— We get a callback to the punching bit from earlier in this Update, with Jimmy now punching Tina again, only this time, the sound effect actually plays, which Tina then calls attention to by saying to us “See how funny it is with the sound effects on?” and then mentioning the name of SNL’s sound effects guy, Bill Taylor.
— When the audience is laughing at her Wayne Brady joke, Tina actually cheers “Yay, I got you, Wayne Brady!” Oh, god, so Tina’s now making it a weekly thing to cartoonishly cheer her own slams at celebrities? Unlike the Rosie O’Donnell/“They celebrated by eating out” joke that Tina cheered in the preceding episode, this Wayne Brady joke wasn’t even funny. It’s been so depressing this season watching Tina gradually transform into some over-the-top, silly, cartoonish, unfunny Update anchor who desperately resorts to basically BEGGING the audience to like her and cheer her jokes. What the hell happened to the Tina Fey from her first two seasons behind the Update desk?
— Tonight’s weekly end-of-Update walk-on from SNL writer Eric Slovin has him dressed as… some guy in a suit and wig, fighting Jimmy for his pencil. Huh? I’m assuming Slovin’s playing a famous politician or celebrity, and that this is some kind of topical reference that went over my head. [ADDENDUM: SNL Archives claims Slovin was just playing a businessman, so maybe it wasn’t a topical reference after all, but just Slovin playing a random nameless character like most of his other end-of-Update walk-ons. But I dunno, something seemed a little too specific about his appearance tonight to just be some nameless character.]
— This overall Update felt fairly short, at least compared to how packed the last few Updates were.
STARS: **½


THE RIALTO GRANDE
losing his gig at Caesar’s has devastated Buddy Mills’ colleague (host)

— We finally hear Mackey (Fred’s old drummer character in these sketches) speak, with him bellowing out “Mabel is fine!” half a minute after Kattan’s Buddy Mills asks him how his wife is doing.
— I absolutely love Ray always following up a punchline of his with “Hold… hold… hold…. and release.” That’s my favorite punchline gimmick of all the hosts who appeared in these Rialto Grande sketches.
— Haha, man, even though it’s the same gag as always, Mackey doing a delayed rimshot whenever the character played by the host is having an emotional breakdown gets me EVERY DAMN TIME.
— I never realized until now how funny Amy’s dancing at the end of these Rialto Grande sketches is, when she and the rest of the female cast are dancing by Kattan and the host. I can’t stop watching her dancing here. She’s throwing in so many funny little gestures that are easy to miss if you’re not paying attention to her.
STARS: ****


CNN UPDATE
during a marathon anchor session, Aaron Brown (DAH) covers tonight’s SNL

— It’s good that Darrell’s getting quite a number of impression roles tonight, after being stuck in nothing but awkward non-impression roles the last few episodes.
— I love the meta premise of this CNN sketch, having Darrell’s Aaron Brown do coverage of tonight’s SNL episode by addressing the Rialto Grande sketch that has just ended. Very creative premise, especially for something from one of the more recent decades, where SNL very rarely goes outside the box and does interesting out-of-the-ordinary things with their format.
— Excellent detail with the ticker on the bottom of the screen having funny SNL-related news items about Tracy, Horatio, and “SNL rookie writer” James Eagan.
— Speaking of Tracy, where’s he been in tonight’s episode so far?
— Okay, the SNL-related news items on the bottom of the screen are now repeating in a cycle, but that’s probably for the best, as it would be too distracting from the sketch itself if it was one new news item after another for the entire sketch.
— A good laugh from the failed attempt at an interview with Kattan.
— Darrell’s performance and delivery here are very funny. This is easily one of his best performances in this shaky season of his.
— Overall, very strong execution of this creative idea. A great bit.
— SNL was originally going to do a follow-up to this bit later in this same episode, by having Darrell’s Aaron Brown do post-sketch coverage of the Club Traxx sketch that will be airing near the end of this episode, and interviewing Maya and Fred while both are still in costume on the Club Traxx set, but the bit got cut after dress rehearsal. Probably for the best it got cut, as SNL might’ve been pushing it and belaboring the point by trying to stretch the great Aaron Brown bit into two separate segments. At the same time, though, it could’ve been nice to have this as a runner for this episode.
STARS: ****½


PHONE BOOTH
telephone-answerer (host) is made to embarrass himself a la Phone Booth

— Some interesting and unusual (for SNL) camera angles early on in Ray’s phone conversation, spoofing the then-new movie Phone Booth.
— I like the idea of Ray starring in a comical take-off of Phone Booth.
— Very funny visual of Horatio quickly passing by the screen with a hot dog sticking out of his mouth while falling down after getting shot (the third above screencap for this sketch).
— Ah, there’s Tracy. I wonder if the reason why he’s been appearing so little these past two episodes is because he’s possibly taping stuff for his upcoming sitcom, The Tracy Morgan Show, which would debut sometime after Tracy leaves SNL at the end of this season.
— After Ray reveals he wears Spongebob footsie pajamas, I love Tracy saying “I myself sleep butt-naked” in that threatening cop-during-a-standoff voice.
— An absolutely hilarious bit with Ray badly trying to mask his remark of “I hate black people” by turning his head away and singing the word “black” in a faint, stretched-out manner, then waving to the crowd while saying “People!”
— After Ray finally tells the crowd “I hate black people” in the blunt manner the sniper on the phone forces him to, I love Tracy responding with an offended “What’d you say, bitch?!?”
— Lots of small penis jokes tonight. Between that and the constant boner mentions tonight, there’s definitely a penis theme in general throughout this episode. Odd.
— Yet another killer line from Tracy, this time after Ray demonstrates to the crowd how small his penis is: “(to his fellow black cop) That’s why he hate us.”
— A priceless ending where, as soon as Ray has finally gotten out of his whole phone booth fiasco, the phone rings again, Ray foolishly answers it IMMEDIATELY, then the voice of the sniper from the previous call sternly asks Ray over the phone “What is wrong with you, Walter?!?” and Ray responds “DAMMIT!”
STARS: ****½


ACCESS HOLLYWOOD
Chet Harper cheerfully fabricates showbiz items

— The return of Chet Harper, Ray’s character from the legendary SportsCenter sketch in Ray’s first episode. As great as that original sketch was, it seems best left as a one-and-done thing and doesn’t seem like it will translate well to a recurring sketch.
— Ray’s inane made-up reports, voice-overs during clips, and side remarks here are making me laugh, but just as I expected, they’re NOWHERE near as funny or memorable as the inane made-up reports, voice-overs during clips, or side remarks from the original SportsCenter sketch.
— I remember when this Access Hollywood sketch originally aired, I almost thought the voice of the off-camera producer was Parnell, who’s been M.I.A. so far in tonight’s episode, but it turns out it’s some non-cast member’s voice. Parnell ends up not making any appearances or voice-overs AT ALL in tonight’s episode. For that matter, Will Forte is completely absent tonight too. Damn. And they’re both two of my personal favorite members of this season’s cast.
— It’s a testament to how funny Ray is that he’s making this not-as-funny-as-the-SportsCenter-sketch material come off funny.
— Ehh, now this is resorting to cheap gay jokes and drag jokes.
— The dance Ray does whenever the Access Hollywood theme music plays is at least a funny new aspect they added to this character.
— Ray’s whole ending spiel was hilarious.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Settle Down”


CLUB TRAXX
Iraqi pop sensation Youseffi (host) likes to disco

— Oh, dear god, this terrible sketch has become recurring.
— Aaaaaaand there goes the constant insufferable and unfunny musical numbers from Fred’s character, probably my least favorite aspect of these Club Traxx sketches, which is certainly saying something, considering the large number of things to hate about these sketches. This is basically an early preview of how annoying I would eventually go on to regularly find Fred in his later seasons.
— Not even the reliable Ray Romano can make this mess funny. And he’s doing a VERY broad Middle Eastern stereotype that will probably make a lot of people cringe nowadays. Hell, I remember how, even back in 2003, some people were saying Ray’s role came off very racist.
— This sketch is torture. Tonight’s installment may be even worse than the first installment. And the first installment had Matthew McConaughey speaking with an UNBEARABLE, ridiculous character voice while wearing an equally ridiculous half-shirt, so the fact that tonight’s installment is somehow even worse is certainly saying something.
— Okay, I finally got a laugh, from Tracy (ever the sketch saver) asking if any American G.I.s are his father.
STARS: *½


UDAY HUSSEIN
Uday Hussein (FRA) makes his case to succeed his dad as president of Iraq

— Not sure I’m ready to sit through another goofy, over-the-top portrayal of a Middle Eastern person, after what Ray just did in the preceding sketch.
— Hmm, turns out Fred’s performance is actually amusing me.
— I was wondering where this was going, but then we got a fairly killer punchline to end this on: “(directed at America) I know what you’re thinking: why elect the less-competent son of a former president? Well… you guys did it.” I also love how, after that punchline, the screen immediately crossfades to a photo of Fred’s Uday Hussein with a hilariously goofy big smile on his face (the last above screencap for this sketch).
— This commercial would later be cut from reruns, because the real Uday Hussein ended up getting killed just a few months after this episode originally aired.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— While this certainly doesn’t measure up to Ray Romano’s epic first episode (which is one of my personal all-time favorites), this was still a pretty good episode. We especially got a very nice peak with the first three post-Weekend Update sketches (The Rialto Grande, CNN Update, and Phone Booth), which was an impressive one-two-three punch of strong sketches. Ray Romano was mostly solid, even if a lot of his performances weren’t quite as memorable as the performances he gave in his first episode.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Bernie Mac)
a fairly big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Ashton Kutcher