October 12, 1991 – Kirstie Alley / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers (S17 E3)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
senators question Clarence Thomas (TIM) & give him some harassing tips

— Some good opening laughs from Kevin doing a rundown to Ellen’s Anita Hill of all the unpleasant topics they discussed during her part of the hearings.
— Boy, that is some awful-looking hair on Kevin’s Joe Biden. But I suppose the same can be said about the real Biden’s hair at the time.

— I love the cutaways to the senators all murmuring to each other in an impressed manner whenever Tim’s Clarence Thomas unintentionally gives them advice on how to pick up women.
— Very big audience reaction to the hilarious reveal of Phil playing Ted Kennedy. I also loved his question “Were you, ah, drunk at the time?”
— Dana is PRICELESS as Strom Thurmond.
— Oh, god, please don’t make me address the elephant in the room regarding what an uncomfortable coincidence it now is that Al Franken was cast in a sketch about senators giving sexual harassment tips.
— I like Al’s Senator Paul Simon harping on how his bowtie hurts his chances with women.
— Great walk-on from Rock as Long Dong Silver.
— Nice to see Rock deliver his very first “Live from New York…”.
— A classic cold opening overall.
STARS: *****

OPENING MONTAGE
— In the original live East Coast broadcast of this episode, Don Pardo’s timing is wildly off throughout the entire opening montage. He announces everybody’s names either way too late or way too early. He especially has a rough time during the long list of featured players. When the shot of Tim Meadows comes up, Pardo completely blanks and just stays silent during the shots of the next few featured players (Sandler, Schneider, Spade). Then after the shot of David Spade, Pardo tries to catch up by quickly spitting out “Adamsandlerrobschneiderdavidspade” in rapid succession without taking a breath, leaving out poor Tim. The version I’m reviewing of this episode is the West Coast tape-delayed “live” airing from that night, in which they replace Pardo’s botched announcing with his flawless announcing from dress rehearsal.

MONOLOGUE
host & Ted Danson, Woody Harrelson, George Wendt, Kelsey Grammer [real]

 

— Huge, and I mean HUGE audience reactions to the succession of cameos from Kirstie’s “Cheers” co-stars, who each pop out from a random place in the studio and join in on Kirstie’s singing of the “Cheers” theme song. Very infectious energy here.
— With George Wendt’s cameo here, his cameo two weeks earlier in the Super Fans sketch from the season premiere, and his hosting the preceding season’s finale, he has been appearing on SNL a LOT around this time, more than some of the actual cast members (especially David Spade, who’s been almost completely invisible so far this season).
— I like Ted Danson’s callback to the memorable sketch he got to do with live pigs when he hosted.
— I love the running bit with Kelsey Grammer constantly being ignored when explaining to his co-stars that, unlike them, he’s never hosted SNL.
— A lot of good laughs from Kirstie’s irritation over her co-stars taking over her monologue duties by reading off her concluding lines.
— Great ending with Kelsey taking pleasure in standing alone onstage and concluding the singing of the “Cheers” theme song.
STARS: *****

LONELY CHOICE
Lonely Choice Dinners are frozen entrees for women without relationships

— Siobhan Fallon finally gets her first big showcase.
— This is a lesser-known fake ad from this era (especially since it was cut from the 60-minute version that Comedy Central used to always air of this episode), but this is being executed nicely with a good subtle approach and a solid spokesperson performance from Siobhan.
— Some funny details in the visual of the TV dinners, especially the two big sleeping pills on top of one of the meals, and the giant Oreo cookie.
— I like the meal titles shown on the pile of dinner boxes (last screencap above).
— Funny ending slogan from Phil’s voice-over: “We’ve taken the ‘difficult’ out of ‘difficult and sad’.”
STARS: ***½

IL CANTORE
overamorous Italians serve the Kirpatricks (host) & (KEN) at a restaurant

— The restaurant set being used in this sketch would go on to be familiar, as it would be frequently used in a number of sketches from later this era, including the season 18 sketch with Kevin Kline as an uncontrollably farting Italian celebrity and the Pepper Boy sketch from Dana Carvey’s season 20 episode.
— The Italians’ overly-affectionate actions towards Kirstie are hilarious.
— Dana’s actions towards Kirstie are getting particularly funny, especially him licking all over her face.
— This sketch has now become an absolute riot, with Dana being seen humping Victoria on a restaurant table in the background while Kirstie remains completely oblivious to it. This is the other sketch I was talking about in my review of the preceding season’s Roseanne Barr episode, where I said that episode contained the first of two times in 1991 where Victoria Jackson gets humped on a restaurant table during a sketch.
— This sketch is getting more and more outrageous as it goes along. I love it.
— Strong ending with Kevin and Kirstie thinking they’ll experience more civility at a nearby Greek restaurant.
STARS: *****

IT’S PAT
androgynous Pat receives birthday greetings from parent Francys (host)

— Julia Sweeney’s birthday was earlier that week (October 10), which is probably what inspired the idea of this sketch.
— Julia’s Pat voice seems to get increasingly higher pitched and whinier with each passing sketch this character appears in. I personally prefer the low-pitched voice Julia used in the first two Pat sketches.
— I like a confused Chris Rock entering the scene while dumbfoundedly saying “Your mothe– your fath–” over and over when trying to tell Pat that a parent of Pat’s has arrived.
— Speaking of Rock, something about the way he’s dressed in this sketch really emphasizes his extreme skinniness.
— Great turn with Kirstie entering as Pat’s equally-androgynous parent.
— Kirstie’s really good at imitating the Pat giggle.
— Despite my earlier mention of not liking Pat’s whinier voice as much as Pat’s lower pitched voice from earlier installments, I got a good laugh just now from Julia’s over-the-top delivery of the line “I want you to hear the MADNESS!”
— Good ending with Pat’s co-workers singing a variation of “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow”, with the lyrics awkwardly altered to be gender unspecific.
— I’m surprised this didn’t end with them cutting to the usual closing credits sequence with the Pat theme song. Wonder why they didn’t do that here.
— One of the more memorable Pat sketches overall.
STARS: ****

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on saying “puke” at the dinner table

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Into the Great Wide Open”

WEEKEND UPDATE
CSR says Clarence Thomas is guilty of nothing more than bad pick-up lines
VIJ’s erudite term limits commentary turns out to have been ghost-written
Phil Perry (ROS) voices athletes’ thoughts during baseball highlights

— When talking about Anita Hill, I liked Rock asking “Isn’t that the same woman who was caught smoking crack with Marion Barry? Someone should do a check.”
— Some okay lines from Rock, but his delivery here is stumbly and this commentary isn’t as good as his Update commentaries usually are.
— Surprisingly, this is Victoria’s first Update commentary as herself in over a year. She didn’t do any in season 16.
— A weak and obvious punchline to Victoria’s commentary, with her admitting she didn’t write the intelligent speech she just delivered.
— Some good laughs from Rob’s sportscaster getting out of hand with his voicing athletes’ thoughts during sports clips, especially when he starts resorting to bad stereotypical ethnic voices.
STARS: ***

THEIR EYES WERE ON THEIR BREASTS!
female aliens distract male earthlings

— The spaceship the aliens are standing in front of is the same spaceship that would later be used in a notorious season 20 sketch involving Deion Sanders and an accidental mooning from Farley. The scenery behind the spaceship appears to be the same in both sketches too.
— Solid concept.
— Kevin has been in tons of sketches tonight.
— Funny brief walk-on from Farley.
— I love the cutaways to each of the three scientists staring intensely at the aliens’ eye breasts.
— The questions the scientists ask the aliens are really funny. I especially like “When you get older, does your vision sag?” and “Can you see better when it’s cold outside?”
STARS: ***½

COFFEE TALK WITH PAUL BALDWIN
Linda Richman (MIM) & (host) are big Barbra Streisand fans

— Though they’re still using the “Coffee Talk with Paul Baldwin” title, we get the debut of Linda Richman, filling in for an ill Baldwin. Very rare for SNL to suddenly revamp an already somewhat-established recurring sketch in this drastic manner. I can’t think of any other time in SNL history that this has happened, but perhaps I’m forgetting some examples.
— Phil’s performance as Kirstie’s husband is funny and is adding good realism to the scene.
— Linda Richman is certainly a more fleshed-out character than Paul Baldwin, and we’re immediately seeing all of what would go on to be Linda Richman’s trademarks, including her Barbra Streisand obsession, her describing something as being “like buttah”, her speaking Yiddish, her getting verklempt and instructing us “Tawk amongst yuhselves… I’ll give you a tawpic…”, etc.
— Overall, while I didn’t laugh all that much aside from Phil’s lines, I didn’t hate this sketch. After recently sitting through the one-note Paul Baldwin-hosted Coffee Talk installments, in which New York accents was literally the only “joke”, this Linda Richman debut came off oddly kinda refreshing to me. However, I know my lenience towards Richman will not last much longer the more I’ll have to sit through these sketches, especially when we arrive at season 19 where the character appeared ad nauseam.
STARS: **½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Kings Highway”

PSYCHO DIVORCED MOTHER
(host) damns phone company & cable company to Hell

— Great reveal of the title “Psycho Divorced Mother” after the opening scene where Kirstie snapped at her two kids.
— Kirstie going off on an insane rant to nobody about the phone company is providing some good laughs.
— I absolutely loved Kirstie’s raspy-voiced delivery of “Damn you to HELL, cable company!”
— Kirstie has gotten so into her psychotic characterization that it sounds like she almost dropped an MF-bomb just now, during her cable company rant. She begins to say “Die, mother–” but then immediately cuts herself off.
— Wow, this sketch was quick.
STARS: ***½

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on cutting down screaming trees

LOOK WHO ELSE IS TALKING ALSO
possessions of James (DAC) & Mollie (host)

— I loved the line from the Tom Davis-voiced dog, saying “I get lucky every night… because I can lick myself.”
— The usual very funny John Travolta impression from Dana.
— I liked the ending with the talking condom and diaphragm.
STARS: ***½

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on how a child can look like a deer

GOODNIGHTS
MIM kills time by leading a round of “O Canada”

— These particular goodnighs are very unique. There’s A LOT of extra time to fill before the ending credits scroll by, so we’ll be seeing lots of comical vamping for time. According to what I once heard, the reason the show has so much time to fill here is because a sketch was removed at the last minute, with nothing scheduled to replace it. Supposedly, the removed sketch was a parody of the then-current William Kennedy Smith rape trial, and SNL apparently was worried that sketch would be too much in an episode that already had a parody of the Clarence Thomas sexual harassment hearings as the cold opening.
— Speaking of sexual harassment and rape trials, during part of her goodnights speech, Kirstie brings up how there’s so much in the news lately about sexual harassment allegations going on and then thanks the people at SNL for not sexually harassing her, at which point several of the guys onstage jokingly lunge at her and grab her breasts (and no, Al Franken was not among the guys who did that, for anyone wondering).
— Mike Myers has now been brought to the front of the stage and tries to lead everyone in a round of “O Canada”, only nobody else onstage seems to know the words, so they just laugh and try to clown around with Mike while he’s doing his best to continue the song.
— This is so fun seeing the natural goofy, loose antics of the cast as themselves, which feels so rare to see in this period of the show. It was much more common during the original era and even the early 80s.
— About halfway through the scrolling ending credits, everybody walks off the stage one-by-one, leaving only the SNL Band, who continue to play the goodnights theme music on a now-empty stage.
— It’s amazing how long these goodnights are STILL going on, long after the scrolling credits have finished. This is beautiful, and really makes you appreciate the goodnights theme music.
— It sounds like the band was starting to play the rarely-heard official ending notes of the goodnights theme right as the Broadway Video and NBC Productions vanity cards started showing up, but unfortunately, in the recording I’m watching of this episode, the tape seems to cut off right at that moment and goes to another recording. Too bad; I started getting goosebumps at hearing those ending notes. I believe the only two other times in SNL history where we get to hear the official ending notes of the goodnights theme are the ice-skating goodnights of two episodes: Candice Bergen from 1976 and Kevin Hart from 2017.
— Reruns of this episode shorten these goodnights extremely. All the vamping for time before the ending credits roll are removed, as is the SNL Band’s extended playing after the credits finish rolling. To fill in the extra time left by the removal of those moments, reruns add in a cut dress rehearsal sketch called “I Love Lucy: The Lost Tapes”. It’s obvious that sketch was made sometime later in the season, because future cast member Melanie Hutsell is in it playing Ethel.

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A strong episode. The first half in particular was absolutely amazing, being dominated by all-time memorable pieces. There was also a high energy in the air throughout the episode to go along with the fine quality. The cast’s unique time-killing antics during the very extended goodnights only added to this episode’s special feel.

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jeff Daniels)
a step up

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
Christian Slater