Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
COLD OPENING
New Hampshire primary taught George Bush (DAC) that “You’re pissed!”
— I’m getting a lot of laughs from Dana-as-Bush’s very funny various ways of explaining to us that he got the people of New Hampshire’s message.
— Great part with him finally revealing on a sheet of paper what the message from New Hampshire was: “YOU’RE PISSED!”
— Kiddie Dan Quayle to Bush: “You’ll beat Buchanan, won’t you? He’s ugly!”
— A very funny little part after Kiddie Quayle leaves, with Bush speculating a “Bush/Buchanan” ticket before saying “Nah!”
STARS: ****
MONOLOGUE
hosts find that they have no secrets about themselves left to expose
— Tom Arnold’s looks have changed quite a lot since his cameo just a year earlier in Roseanne’s season 16 episode. Roseanne herself looks quite different too. (side-by-side comparison below)
— A funny part where after Roseanne says they’re already gaining back all the weight they lost from the diet they talked about on Oprah, Tom says “So did Oprah, though.”
— Feels strange in retrospect hearing a mention of a now-obscure talk show called Sonya Live among the many names of talk shows that are still well-remembered today like Oprah, Donahue, and Larry King Live.
— Now they’ve mentioned another now-obscure talk show, The Paul Rodriguez Show, though judging from Roseanne and Tom’s jokes, that show was considered an embarrassing joke even back then.
STARS: ***
DICK CLARK PRODUCTIONS
Dick Clark’s receptionist keeps Roseanne & Jesus (PHH) waiting
— This sketch officially becomes recurring.
— Like last time, David’s getting a lot of laughs from his questioning the importance of who the clients are and his obliviousness to any kind of pop culture.
— I love Roseanne going head-to-head with Dick Clark’s receptionist in a snark-off.
— Great part with Julia pouring her heart out to the receptionist regarding being Dick Clark’s long-lost biological mother, only for it to be revealed that the receptionist was on the phone the whole time and didn’t hear anything she said.
— Now this already-strong sketch turns truly epic, with Phil randomly appearing as Jesus, which gets a great audience reaction.
— A lot of laughs from Dick Clark’s receptionist doing his usual questioning routine to Jesus of all people. I also love Phil’s calm-but-slightly-taken-aback facial reactions.
— Kevin to Jesus, regarding the receptionist: “Can’t you do anything?” Jesus: “I’ll give him one more minute.” Receptionist: “Threatening me with eternal damnation won’t get you in any faster.”
STARS: *****
COFFEE TALK WITH LINDA RICHMAN
Linda & friend Liz (Madonna) praise Barbra Streisand [real]
— Linda Richman officially becomes recurring, and they’ve now dropped the “Coffee Talk with Paul Baldwin” title and have officially begun titling this sketch “Coffee Talk with Linda Richman”.
— Despite this only being her second appearance, Linda Richman is already getting big audience cheers during her opening statement in tonight’s sketch. I guess this shows how hot tonight’s crowd is.
— We get a mention of Linda Richman’s daughter Robin, which is an inside reference, as Mike Myers based the character of Linda Richman off of the mother of his then-wife named Robin.
— A very random Madonna cameo.
— I like Roseanne a lot in this. Even just the look of her character is cracking me up.
— Two minutes into this sketch, and Roseanne has been providing my ONLY laughs, though I do kinda like the details and realism that Madonna’s bringing in her characterization (which is supposedly another inside reference, as Madonna’s character is reportedly based on her own publicist).
— The self-deprecating part with Madonna’s character calling Madonna a tramp was okay if cliched.
— I got a big laugh from Roseanne randomly making a very loud “CCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!” sound with her throat while cleaning out her ear.
— Here comes the reason this installment of Coffee Talk is famous, and the moment that makes this fairly tepid and overlong installment worth sitting through: Barbra Streisand randomly showing up out of nowhere at the end. A memorable and legendary SNL moment, especially since neither Madonna nor Roseanne were told beforehand that Streisand would appear, and thus, their stunned reactions you see are 100% genuine (Roseanne in particular goes WILD and completely drops character), which helps make that moment so classic. Mike, on the other hand, was informed of Streisand’s cameo beforehand, but only a few minutes before the sketch started. He reportedly had just enough time to call his Streisand-obsessed mother-in-law and tell her to get down here.
STARS: ***
TALL TALES OF THE RECESSION
the story of the Fast-Firing CEO (Tom)
— A bit odd how Tom Arnold is just NOW making his first sketch appearance of the night.
— Fun performance from Dana, and I like the sound effect they keep playing whenever he cracks his whip.
— I got an unintentional laugh from a technical error where they accidentally cut to a brief shot of a devil (Rob) sitting down at a restaurant table while Dana’s introducing the scene to us. This gaffe would later be edited out of reruns.
— The use of Rob as the devil really makes one yearn for Jon Lovitz’s Mephistopheles character. Rob’s performance here is bland and comes off lame compared to what Jon’s Mephistopheles would’ve brought to the sketch. They’re even having Rob wearing what appears to be Jon’s old Mephistopheles costume!
— Another unintentional laugh, this time from Dana’s whip almost knocking off his hat one of the times he cracks the whip.
— Overall, Dana was the only thing providing any real laughs in this sketch. The actual meat of the sketch, the CEO scenes with Tom, were dull and fell flat.
STARS: *½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Stone Cold Bush”
WEEKEND UPDATE
Grumpy Old Man has no use for Winter Olympics innovations
— Feels a bit weird seeing Grumpy Old Man in a Kevin Nealon-anchored Update for a change. This ends up being the final appearance of this character, as well as the only time he ever appears outside of a Dennis Miller-anchored Update.
— The usual funny stories from Grumpy Old Man, especially the one about using corpses as skiis and how one of the Winter Olympics events in his day was compressing your lips to a freezing metal pole.
— Kinda surprised Grumpy Old Man’s commentary is over already. Felt kinda short.
— Very strong night for Kevin overall. Lots of great jokes from him.
STARS: ****
DELTA DELTA DELTA
Pam, Di, Meg welcome new Delta Delta Delta sorority sister (Roseanne)
— This sketch officially becomes recurring (I’m saying that a lot tonight). Can’t say I’m thrilled to see these characters back.
— Very interesting seeing Roseanne playing against type as a valley girl-esque character.
— Boy, am I already sick of the overuse of a running bit in these Delta sketches, where one of the girls says something serious and then immediately follows it up by pointing out something trivial and irrelevant (e.g. “Your hair looks so red”, “Do I have lipstick on my teeth?”, etc.). I know that’s an accurate spoof of this type of ditzy college student, but hearing it being said after almost every single line is not funny to me.
— Despite Roseanne playing against type, I see they let her get in a typical Roseanne-esque line just now, by suddenly saying “I gotta go use the can; I gotta let one rip!”, which I admit kinda made me laugh just because of the contrast between that and the Delta Delta Delta girls’ personality.
STARS: **
A STAR IS BORN
Roseanne’s career crashes after Tom rides her coattails
— Victoria, who I’ve lately been starting to kinda forget is still in the cast, is just NOW making her first (and only) appearance of the night. Then again, this has been a VERY light night for most of the cast in general, possibly due to a combo of having two hosts and a gigantic cast. Chris Farley doesn’t even appear AT ALL tonight.
— I love the method Dana’s Larry Roman uses to come up with the stage name Tom Arnold.
— As usual, the Larry Roman character is making some funny comedic analogies. I especially liked “He’s pullin’ you down faster than Wilt Chamberlain’s pants!” However, the “He’s gotta go like June Allyson after a freakin’ six-pack!” one was reused from a Weekend Update commentary that Larry Roman did earlier this season.
— Dana makes Roseanne break character and laugh (fifth screencap above) right as she’s about to deliver a dramatic line before exiting.
— I’m cracking up at Roseanne badmouthing various actresses during her drunken “acceptance speech”, especially her line “Kirstie Alley, get a chin!”
STARS: ***
DAILY AFFIRMATION WITH STUART SMALLEY
Stuart dislikes sister’s (Roseanne) abusive ex (Tom)
— A laugh from Stuart mentioning the title of his poorly-received recent episode, “Whining is Anger Coming Through a Small Opening”.
— Roseanne plays against type once again tonight, this time as a timid character.
— Some good laughs from Stuart listing off all the terrible things that Tom did to Roseanne.
— Stuart to Roseanne: “Jodi, it’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the world.”
— Good part with Tom beating the hell out of Stuart with the padded bat. We also get a great visual afterwards with Stuart’s hilariously messed-up hair after the beatdown.
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Under The Bridge”
DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on the most dangerous animal in the world
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A decent episode, but doesn’t measure up to the two great episodes that preceded this. After those two episodes, tonight had a feeling of averageness. However, we did get a few really memorable moments tonight, such as Phil’s Jesus in the Dick Clark Productions sketch and Barbra Streisand’s cameo in Coffee Talk. Of the two hosts, Tom Arnold was merely okay while Roseanne fared better and had a bigger presence. It was also refreshing to see Roseanne play against type a few times tonight, which I don’t think she did at all during her first hosting stint in the preceding season, even though that was the better of the two episodes she’s hosted so far at this point.
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jason Priestley)
a step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
John Goodman, in our second consecutive episode where the host comes from the same then-running sitcom (“Roseanne”). I don’t think there have been any other times in SNL history where two consecutive episodes were hosted by co-stars of the same then-current TV show.