Tag: saturday night live

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December 17, 2005 – Jack Black / Neil Young (S31 E9)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

SANTA CHENEY
Dick Cheney (DAH) plays Santa to kids’ politically-convenient requests

— A memorable opening image of Darrell’s Dick Cheney pulling down his fake Santa beard and making that trademark Cheney grin at the camera.
— Some laughs from the kids obviously reading off scripted wordy, un-childlike requests as their Christmas wish.
— Good visual of Will’s President Bush sitting on Santa’s lap. Quite Will Ferrell-esque.
— Some funny political satire from Will-as-Bush’s line comparing the recalling of defective Xbox 360s to his refusing to recall his defective policy in Iraq.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host sings his King Kong song, which didn’t make it into the movie

— I see we’re getting a typical fun Jack Black musical number.
— The lyrics of this King Kong song are fantastic and hilarious, and the melody is epic.
STARS: ****½


STUART LITTLE MOUSE REMOVAL KIT
Stuart Little Mouse Removal Kit tempts rodents to drive out of your house

— An amusing and creative concept for a mouse trap commercial.
— Lots of great and fun little details to the extensive Stuart Little mouse trap.
— A very good ending with the mouse car unexpectedly blowing up after it leaves the house.
STARS: ****½


THE WIND
at Sbarro, shoppers suffer gusts of cold wind due to near-to-door table

— I recall a few online SNL fans back at this time in 2005 unfavorably comparing this sketch to the notorious Hot Plates sketch from the preceding season. I’ve personally never considered this sketch to be as bad as Hot Plates, but we’ll see during this current viewing of mine.
— Fred’s hobo character angrily hissing at Jack cracked me up.
— A good aggressive “SON OF A BITCH!” delivery from Rachel, who’s apparently channeling the spirit of Chris Farley.
— I’m not caring too much for the wind gags, though the execution of this is still coming off more enjoyable and much less cringeworthingly corny than the dreaded Hot Plates. The performances from Jack and the cast are also helping made this sketch a little fun.
— Funny lines from a shaken-up Kenan right before his exit.
— They botched the gag where a dummy of Rachel is supposed to drop from above after the wind blows Rachel high up in the air. Not sure what exactly went wrong with the gag, but after it got botched, Rachel can be seen walking over a dummy of herself lying on the floor (on the right corner of the below screencap), a dummy that was never seen before in the sketch, all the while Amy is genuinely laughing her ass off at this blooper.

SNL would later show the dress rehearsal version of this sketch in reruns, in which the Rachel’s-dummy-falling-from-above gag is executed properly, complete with a comical loud “thud” sound effect when Rachel’s falling dummy lands on the floor.
— The “Happy Holidays From The Weather Channel” twist ending felt unnecessary. SNL sometimes has a bad habit of throwing in that type of dumb twist ending in sketches.
STARS: **½


APPALACHIAN EMERGENCY ROOM
(musical guest) & Johnny Knoxville [real] ail

— Amy’s usual “And now, another episode of Appalachian Emergency Room” opening voice-over in these sketches has been updated in tonight’s installment to include her following up her afore-quoted intro line with a cheery utterance of “Christmastime!”, which strangely amused me, for some reason.
— Great walk-on from Neil Young as Amy and Darrell’s druggie son, who they’ve often mentioned in past installments of this sketch.
— Amy’s character in this recurring sketch always delivers her exit line in a very funny manner while walking away, but we get a particularly hilarious delivery from her during her exit in tonight’s installment.
— Ha, did I just hear Seth say “Tiny Nations” as one of the two names he called out for Jason and Bill’s characters?
— Pretty solid bit with the the huge jart stuck in Jason’s head.
— A hilarious dirty gag with the watermelon still staying attached to Chris’ crotch after he lets go of it (I also love Seth’s reaction to that), which feels like both a callback to a gag Chris did in Heather Graham’s monologue from season 25 and a precursor to a certain famous Digital Short from the Justin Timberlake-hosted Christmas episode an exact year from tonight’s episode.
— Jack: “I’m your medical ball of clay. MOLD ME.” That is such a perfectly Jack Black-ish line that you’d think he wrote it himself.
— Johnny Knoxville’s cameo as himself as one of the patients is both very funny and strangely very fitting for this sketch. I also love how he implies during his exit that he’s all too familiar with this hospital’s rooms. A perfect way to end what was EASILY the best installment of Appalachian Emergency Room.
STARS: ****


TV FUNHOUSE
“Christmastime For The Jews” by RBS- gentile absence brings opportunities

— Right out of the gate, I’m immediately getting such an epic feel from this cartoon.
— Hilarious subject matter for this well-animated black-and-white stop motion cartoon.
— Not only a very funny song, but it’s strangely beautiful-sounding, no doubt helped by being sung by Darlene Love, who’s being utilized to perfection here.
— A particularly funny bit about Jews going to sleep with Daily Show reruns in their heads.
— Even the closing credits of this are great, with the special Darlene Love-sung Christmas-themed TV Funhouse jingle.
— Overall, a true classic.
— The fact that this cartoon is immediately followed by a live shot of Darlene Love singing with the SNL Band further adds to the epic feel of both this cartoon and this episode in general.
STARS: *****


CHANNEL 5 PHOTO SHOOT
TV news team member (host) points out unfairness at publicity photo shoot

— A very simplistic premise, but it’s being executed decently.
— A laugh from Chris’ pointing towards Jack actually being a thumbs-down.
— Even when playing the simple straight role of a director, Jason is coming off so charismatic and fun here.
STARS: ***


LAZY SUNDAY
CHP & ANS rap about a trip to see The Chronicles Of Narnia

— Ohho, yes. HERE WE GO, FOLKS.
— A hilarious reveal of The Chronicles of Narnia being the movie that Andy and Chris are rapping to each other over the phone about going to see together.
— This is SO wall-to-wall with individual hilarious moments and perfect little details that I cannot even begin to single out my favorite moment. Andy and Chris’ furious hardcore and masterful rapping about such silly, non-hardcore things, the onscreen graphics of objects related to the lyrics, the brief cutaways to Andy and Chris individually staring into the camera while doing cupcake-related things in such a dead-serious style (such as chomping hard into a cupcake, or holding up an open box of cupcakes in a gansta manner), the words “SNACK-ATTACK!” showing up in big onscreen letters as it’s being yelled by Andy and Chris, the stop motion effect of Andy and Chris traveling from one end of the street to the other, the gunshot sound effect at the very end as the camera is pulling back on Andy and Chris…man, this Digital Short is top-to-bottom PERFECTION.
— When this short originally aired, not only was I absolutely amazed at what I was witnessing from this very unexpected piece, but both my face and throat actually hurt from how hard and for how long I was laughing all throughout it. There would be a special moment in another sketch later in this episode that would make my face and throat further hurt from extremely heavy laughter, a special moment that I’ll point out when we arrive there.
— Needless to say, this short would end up being a truly groundbreaking moment for SNL, and a huge turning point in the history of the show. What can be said about how much this absolutely blew up online, back in the days before the idea of an SNL piece going “viral” was even a thing? (Lazy Sunday went SO viral that even people who hadn’t watched SNL in years became aware of the short. I remember this finally made me proud to admit to non-SNL viewers that I was a diehard fan of the show, after the preceding season made me embarrassed to admit that.) What can be said about how this famously put the already-existing-but-not-yet-huge YouTube on the map, which would thus also lead to a trend of average joes on YouTube filming their own recreations of Lazy Sunday? What can be said about the huge press SNL received from this, easily the most press they had gotten in years? What can be said about how this would be such a major turning point for the then-struggling newbie Andy and would lead to him having a hugely popular 7-year tenure on the show. And finally, of course, what can be said about how much this would forever change so many things for SNL, finally bringing them into the virtual age and also leading to them embracing more pre-taped shorts and music video content, which continues to this day?
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “It’s A Dream”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Skull Island tourism board members (KET) & (TRM) downplay giant fauna

AMP & TIF list icky properties of 15 year-old boys they find irresistible

— Well, here to piss all over the natural high this episode has put me in so far…
— Ha, Tracy Morgan out of nowhere, randomly paired with Kenan in an Update commentary as African tourism board members. There’s actually a backstory to this random casting. Tracy’s role was written for Finesse, and Finesse played it in dress rehearsal, but because Tracy made a backstage visit to SNL sometime that evening before the live show, they wanted to give him a part in the show, so they yanked Finesse from his role in this Update commentary and placed Tracy in it, leaving Finesse with practically NOTHING tonight (more on that later in my review of a certain sketch towards the end of this episode).
— Tracy’s exclamation of “LIES!” in an African accent has me laughing out loud.
— Not only is Kenan noticeably stifling his laughter throughout this commentary whenever Tracy speaks (particularly during one moment where Tracy pauses for an awkwardly long time before delivering a line), but Kenan can also be seen mouthing some of Tracy’s lines. All of this is obviously because Kenan must not have rehearsed this piece with Tracy beforehand, given how Tracy was thrown into the role at the last minute.
— As bad as I feel for the struggling Finesse getting a rare big role yanked away from him at the last minute, I’m trying to imagine what this Update commentary would’ve been like with him and Kenan, and it would’ve been NOTHING. Tracy’s performance and delivery are adding the only real comedy to be found in this whole piece.
— For once, Tina and Amy do an Update piece together that’s actually making me laugh, with the segment in which they lovingly go on and on about the “irresistible” things about 15-year-old boys.
— Boy, I’d love to see how viewers today would react to Amy’s joke about the symbol for transsexual bathrooms.
— An actual fairly short Fey/Poehler Update, thankfully.
STARS: **


A VERY DOWNER CHRISTMAS
young Debbie Downer saps Santa’s (host) jollity when he visits her house

— After the refreshing Steve Carell installment of this sketch earlier this season, we get another much-needed change of pace for Debbie Downer, this time with us seeing her as a little girl on Christmas Eve.
— Oh, I absolutely LOVE the new Grinch-esque Debbie Downer opening title sequence.
— At one point during the aforementioned Grinch-esque opening title sequence, the singing narrator mentions he’d rather have his face shredded by an eel than listen to Debbie Downer. When this episode originally aired, I left on my TV’s closed-captioning, and I noticed that the singing narrator’s aforementioned line in this sketch about “having my face shredded by an eel” was written in the closed-captioning as “having my nards shredded by an eel”. The people who do on-the-fly closed-captioning for live SNL episodes reportedly rely on a script they’re provided of the dress rehearsal versions of sketches, in an attempt to try to keep the live closed-captioning from lagging behind the dialogue too badly. So judging from this odd “nards shredded by an eel” inconsistency in the closed-captioning, I take it SNL changed the line in this sketch from “nards shredded by an eel” to a much more innocent “face shredded by an eel” right before airtime. Why, though? The original line, while naughty, doesn’t seem like something NBC’s censors would come down hard on SNL for in the year 2005. This also reminds me that there was another odd inconsistency in the closed-captioning for this episode: at the beginning of Weekend Update when Tina was delivering the first joke, the captioning for that joke instead captioned a COMPLETELY different joke that was nowhere to be heard from Tina nor Amy at any point in tonight’s Update. Must’ve been a joke that got cut after dress rehearsal. (From what my very faint memory of the captioned joke recalls, the punchline of it involved a mention of someone farting and saying “Smell my democracy”. I kid you not, folks.)
— This sketch is such an improvement over typical Debbie Downer fare. Even Debbie’s typical depressing one-liners are actually making me laugh in tonight’s installment. The fun atmosphere and change of pace are helping this a lot.
— I loved Jack-as-Santa asking a very puzzled “Is that even a thing???” after Debbie says she has juvenile sciatica.
— Funny bit with Jack acting like he’s going to use the cup of scotch to dip his cookie into, only for him to immediately throw the cookie away without eating it and then he downs the cup of scotch.
— They’ve even shaken things up with the usual tired feline AIDS routine, by having Debbie instead mention her cat’s mange.
— Great bit with Santa giving Debbie a calendar of medical oddities as her Christmas gift, which she, of course, is delighted by.
STARS: ****


DESERTED MOON
stranded in space, (host) rebuffs advances of hermaphrodite alien (ANS)

 

— This is a re-done version of a sketch that Lonely Island originally did in an un-aired FOX pilot around 2004/early 2005, a pilot for a Lonely Island-starring sketch comedy show called (I think) Awesometown, which FOX ended up passing on. The pilot would later be put online. In the Awesometown version of this Deserted Moon sketch, Jorma Taccone played the role that Jack Black is playing in tonight’s version.
— Andy’s stock continues to quickly rise tonight, as he FINALLY gets his very first lead role in a live sketch (unless I’m forgetting something…oh, and Update commentaries and pre-taped commercials don’t count in this case; I’m only talking about live sketches).
— Andy’s voice and delivery throughout this sketch is kinda reminding me of Ashton Kutcher.
— I like the structure of this sketch, with this sketch being divided up into little scenes, each separated by an exterior shot of the planet while a fun outer space-type music sting plays.
— Despite the homoerotic and hermaphrodite aspect of this premise, this sketch thankfully isn’t coming off as the typical hacky and unflattering gay material that dominated the preceding season. I could do without Andy’s decision to play his character with a stereotypical gay lisp, though.
— Funny interplay between Andy and Jack throughout this.
— I particularly like the part with Andy opening the front of his space suit with his back to the camera and Jack reacting in horror to the unseen-to-us monstrosity he’s witnessing.
— Andy’s character, while drunk on Space Wine, ending one scene by drunkenly saying “Space Wine!” to himself is strangely both a very Andy Samberg-esque moment AND a very Ashton Kutcher-esque moment.
— A genuine gaffe from Andy in which, as he tells Jack “I’m all you’ve got!” while pounding his hand on the glass top of the spaceship to emphasize his point, which is supposed to unwittingly fix the broken spaceship, he accidentally dislodges the glass top. Jack makes a fantastic ad-lib in response to this blooper: “You broke it…but you also fixed it!”
— The ending text crawl epilogue is slightly different from the one in the aforementioned original version of this sketch in the Awesometown pilot.
STARS: ***


TWO A-HOLES BUYING A CHRISTMAS TREE
Christmas tree seller (host) fields A-holes’ (JAS) & (KRW) dumb requests

— Our very first Two A-Holes sketch.
— I am loving this characterization from both Jason and Kristen, and we’re getting a great display of both performers’ chemistry with each other.
— So many laughs from so many of the asinine statements from the Two A-Holes. Jack is also portraying his character’s growing frustration towards them very well.
— There’s Finesse’s awkward performance as a hot dog vendor that I mentioned in my review of Weekend Update from this season’s premiere. It turns out he’s not coming off QUITE as awkward and halting in this sketch as I had remembered, but you can still sadly sense a little bit of genuine frustration, disappointment, and dispirited-ness in the poor guy’s performance (and no, it’s not just him acting in character in response to the Two A-Holes’ oddness), presumably not only because his ONLY appearance of the night happens to be in such a small, non-comedic role at the very end of a sketch airing near the very end of an episode that has so many big and soon-to-be-legendary moments that he didn’t get to be a part of, but also because he must’ve been especially bummed that this is all he was left with tonight after his ONE big piece with Kenan on Weekend Update ended up getting re-cast at the last minute, with his role being given to an impromptu special guest.
STARS: ****


SPELLING BEE
spelling bee loser (WLF) inspires song by Tenacious D

— Here comes a well-loved Will Forte masterpiece.
— The VERY soft-spoken voice Will is speaking into the microphone with is freakin’ slaying me.
— After asking Chris’ moderator character for various things like the origin of the word he has to spell, I love Will flat-out asking “Could you spell the word please.” Chris also responds to that with a perfectly deadpan and subtly irritated “No.”
— And there it goes: Will’s absolutely classic and priceless one-minute-long (I’m guesstimating) misspelling of the word “business”, including a portion in which he repeats the letter “q” non-stop for a good while (complete with a perfectly-timed brief break in which he looks upwards in a pensive manner before continuing with the non-stop “q”s). This whole “business” misspelling is not only fucking hilarious, but it’s very impressive and daring on Will’s part, which are just some of the reasons why he’s such an epic performer in general.
— Will’s misspelling of “business” is the moment I was talking about in my Lazy Sunday review when I said this episode had another moment that made both my face and throat hurt so much from laughing so hard for so long when this episode originally aired. In fact, both Lazy Sunday and Will’s misspelling in this Spelling Bee sketch are easily two of the hardest I’ve EVER laughed while watching SNL, and for that reason, I will cherish those two moments forever.
— A perfect follow-up to Will’s epic misspelling, with Chris leaning into the microphone and saying a very dry and deadpan “Wrong.” Though that was just a simple little moment, it was such a good display of Chris’ always-excellent straight man skills.
— I know some people don’t like the turn this sketch takes with this randomly becoming a Tenacious D musical number, but I consider it to be an extra treat from this already-fantastic sketch, even though this sketch would’ve still stood as a classic had it abruptly ended after Chris’ aforementioned deadpan delivery of the line “Wrong.”
— Excellent touch at the end with the camera zooming in on Will’s face as he stares into the camera with a stone-faced, melancholy look (the last above screencap for this sketch).
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “He Was The King”


GOODNIGHTS
host, TRM, cast members end the show from Rockefeller Center skating rink

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— An all-time classic and important episode in SNL history. So many memorable and legendary pieces in this episode, including one particularly groundbreaking piece (Lazy Sunday). And even a lot of the stuff that’s not considered a classic were strong, including much-better-than-usual installments of Appalachian Emergency Room and Debbie Downer. The whole night also had a magic feel in the air, even during some of the lesser segments of this episode. This fantastic episode, especially the aforementioned way both Lazy Sunday and Will Forte’s one-minute-long misspelling of “business” in the Spelling Bee sketch gave me some of the hardest laughs I’ve EVER gotten from SNL, coupled with the fact that this was the third consecutive episode that I liked this season, made it 100% official to me on the night this episode originally aired that SNL was BACK after the dire three-year slump they were in before this season.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Alec Baldwin)
a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
We enter the year 2006, with future five-timer Scarlett Johansson making her hosting debut

Posted on

December 10, 2005 – Alec Baldwin / Shakira (S31 E8)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

SADDAM IN PRISON
self-pitying Saddam Hussein (host) whines to guard (FRA) from behind bars

— Interesting casting of host Alec Baldwin as Saddam Hussein.
— Good gruff-voiced Iraqi accent from Alec.
— Something about the way Alec’s face looks when smooshed between those prison bars is oddly adding to the humor a bit.
— Very funny part with the cruel “Your family will be dead by morning” joke Alec’s Saddam plays on Fred’s character when getting him to reveal his name.
— The ending felt anticlimactic. I was expecting more from this cold opening.
STARS: **½


MONOLOGUE
host relates lessons learned during his past SNL appearances; TIM cameo

— Alec mentions that Steve Martin is the only person to host SNL more than him, then makes a humorous point that himself hosting 12 times from 1990 to then-present day is a more impressive feat than Steve hosting 13 times from 1976 to then-present day.
— I love the use of clips of some of Alec’s earlier sketches as he does a rundown of all the things he learned from his previous hosting stints, even getting self-deprecating laughs by saying he jinxed his relationship with Kim Basinger by hosting with her on Valentine’s Day.
— A Tim Meadows cameo! Ah, it feels so refreshing to see Tim back on my screen during this SNL project of mine, given how I had gotten so used to his comforting presence for so many seasons earlier in this project.
— Very funny line from Tim about how he’s actually still in the cast; he just hasn’t had any sketches on in, like, 6 years. Great to see he’s still as funny as ever here.
— Kinda odd how Amy walked on at literally the very end of this monologue, right as the camera was zooming out and about to fade to black, to give Alec a hug to show she has no hard feelings toward him after he mentioned one of the perks of hosting SNL is getting to squeeze Amy’s boobs during the plastic surgeon sketch we were shown a clip of.
STARS: ****


MORGAN STANLEY
— Jesus Freakin’ Christ. Yet another airing of this commercial, for the FIFTH time in the first half of this seaso–Nah, I’m just kidding. This commercial didn’t air in tonight’s episode. I’m just making fun of the insane number of times they’ve repeated this commercial in such a short amount of time this season so far, which they’ve thankfully stopped doing by this point of the season.


TYLENOL BM
Tylenol BM lets (host) sleep so soundly, bowel movements don’t awaken him

— A blah juvenile premise, though Alec seems like he can make it funny just with his usual reliable dryness.
— A pretty good laugh from Rachel’s yell of “Did you (*bleep*) the bed?!?”
— Overall, Rachel’s aforementioned line and Alec’s solid dry performance made this commercial, which would’ve otherwise been a dud.
STARS: ***


FACE TRANSPLANT
(host) rejects face transplants grafted onto his hospitalized wife

— Second episode in a row with a hospital room sketch.
— Pretty funny reveal of Alec having secretly wished to God that his wife’s body would reject her new unattractive transplanted face.
— Alec “accidentally” pulling out the I.V. tube of hormone medication to force the doctors to re-transplant his wife’s face was hilarious.
— I love Tina’s delivery of the line “You racist! Have you learned nothing from the wolf attack?!?”
— The whole bit with Kenan turning out to be a guy who Alec knew in the marines is hilarious, especially a baffled Tina questioning to Alec “Why did you go into business with him after he raped you?!?”
— Great escalation to this sketch, and this material is so perfect for Alec.
— Hilarious ending with an angry Tina revealing to Alec that the hospitalized woman who’s breasts he’s lovingly groping isn’t actually his wife, she’s just some random woman here for foot surgery, yet Alec asks “Just give me five more minutes.”
— At the very end, during the sketch-ending audience applause, Alec’s groping of Amy’s breasts turns into a callback to the monologue, with Amy “dropping character”, getting mad at Alec, and asking “Again?!?” I guess this is what Amy’s little walk-on at the very end of the monologue was setting up. A rare example by this point of SNL’s run of an episode having somewhat of a running thread.
STARS: ****½


THE O’REILLY FACTOR
John McCain (CHP) & Barney Frank (host)

— (*sigh*) Darrell’s Bill O’Reilly impression still just sounds like Darrell Hammond.
— A funny line from Chris’ John McCain asking, after the asinine so-called facts Darrell’s Bill O’Reilly has spouted off, “Bill, do you even have a research department?”
— There goes Darrell’s typical habit of milking extra laughs from the audience by unnecessarily making exaggerated physical gestures.
— Very funny Barney Frank voice from Alec.
— Now there goes that stumbliness from Darrell that he’s developed this season.
— As usual, some laughs from the Mail Bag segment.
— Speaking of Darrell’s stumbliness, why didn’t he finish reading that letter about Tom Cruise? He left off the last word, for some reason.
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
“Celebrity Mugshot Poker” by RBS- infamous prison photos play Hold ‘Em

— Surprisingly, this is first TV Funhouse to air since this season’s premiere.
— It’s noticeable that this cartoon is being shown in SD 4:3 format instead of HD 16:9 format like the rest of this episode is.
— A very unusual but creative concept of this cartoon.
— Feels nice to hear Dave Foley’s voice on SNL. Too bad this is the closest he’s come to ever appearing on SNL.
— Hilarious bit with Nick Nolte raising during the poker game with a dead skunk he ran over.
— I like the unintelligible grunting being vocalized for each celebrity.
STARS: ***½


BROKEBACK GOLDMINE
grizzled prospectors (host) & (WLF) fall in love

— SNL’s obligatory spoof of the big then-new movie Brokeback Mountain.
— Sadly, Bill’s very brief and non-comedic appearance here ends up being his only appearance all night.
— Not caring for this sketch so far.
— There’s the required parody of the famous “I wish I knew how to quit you” line from the real movie. Can’t say this parody of that line did anything for me.
— I admit to getting a cheap laugh from the “Just prospecting” ending.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Don’t Bother”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Wolf Blitzer (CHP), Jane Pauley (KRW), others audition for ABC News gig

Sharif Omar Mohammed’s (KET) racially-charged ventriloquism offends AMP

a clip of Richard Pryor’s SNL word association sketch marks his passing

— A fun and out-of-the-ordinary segment for Update (and a much-needed break from Tina and Amy’s typical unfunniness at the Update desk), with us seeing an audition tape for ABC News.
— Much like Bill earlier tonight, Kristen’s very brief appearance here, in which she only says one non-comedic line, ends up being her only appearance all night. Certainly feels odd now to see there was once an instance where Kristen was this underused on SNL.
— Pretty funny bit with Darrell’s Dan Rather disguising himself with a fake mustache and the name Stan Mather. I also like the off-camera director cutting him off with a deadpan “Mr. Rather, let’s not do this.”
— Finesse plays Stuart Scott on Update for the second episode in a row.
— Meh, the otherwise fun ABC News audition tape segment ended with a thud, thanks to the unnecessary and overlong bit with Horatio’s Gene Shalit.
— Hated the brief Rent bit between Tina and Amy. That’s exactly the type of typical Tina/Amy unfunniness at the Update desk that I was talking about earlier.
— Hmm, a Brokeback Mountain gay joke sent in from Tina’s 72-year-old father. At least I now see who Tina gets her obsession with hacky gay humor from.
— The fact that the camera keeps cutting to a close-up of Kenan’s ventriloquist dummy whenever it “speaks” is making it very obvious they’re hiding the fact that Kenan’s not attempting to make it look like he’s doing that thing professional ventriloquists do where they throw their voice without moving their lips.
— What the holy fuck is Kenan’s commentary even going for?!? Not only is this not making me laugh, but I’m finding it baffling.
— Amy looked REALLY down after she made a very minor line flub during her set-up of the Dunkin’ Dog Nuts joke (which didn’t even hurt the audience’s reaction to the punchline), showing she has no confidence in herself as an Update anchor.
— We at least end this mostly-dire Update with a tribute to the then-recently-deceased Richard Pryor, by showing a clip of the legendary Word Association sketch.
STARS: *½


THE TONY BENNETT SHOW
Dick Cheney (DAH) discusses terrorism

— As always, Alec’s Tony Bennett impression is reliable for lots of funny lines.
— A particularly good laugh from the segment with Alec’s Bennett plugging the show’s sponsor, K-Y Warming Liquid.
— Overall, this was funny, but it’s probably the most forgettable installment of this sketch by default.
STARS: ***


CAROL!
on a blind date at a bowling alley, crass Carol somehow charms (host)

— I’m still waiting to be won over by these Carol sketches. Like when I reviewed the first Carol sketch earlier this season, I’m not hating this as much as I did when these sketches originally aired, and I am seeing some small flashes of “So bad, it’s good”-ness, but most of this sketch is eliciting no emotions from me. I’m so blankly neutral on this sketch. But, again, at least that’s still a step up from the frothing-at-the-mouth fiery hatred I used to have for these sketches when they originally aired.
STARS: **


HOT DOG FAMILY
hot dog’s husband (host) counsels his half-human kids (AMP) & (ANS)

— A good dumb, oddball premise to this Alec Baldwin sketch, and it’s the kind of thing that Alec can sell in spades.
— I like the little part with a distressed Amy, as the daughter, calling out “Mom!”, and the camera then cutting to a close-up of little hot dog resting on a pillow, unresponsive as always.
— Now THIS is a “So bad, it’s good” sketch that’s actually working for me (though “So dumb, it’s funny” is probably a more accurate description of this particular sketch than “So bad, it’s good”).
— Andy makes his only appearance of the night here (I’m noticing a theme tonight with the newbies, except for Jason). I remember an online SNL fan pointing out Andy looked pretty awkward and uncomfortable in this sketch, as this was back when a lot of online SNL fans were convinced Andy was not working out as an SNL cast member and that he had “one-season wonder” written all over him. We’re only one episode away, folks, from the legendary moment that would drastically change that.
— After asking his hot dog wife for some privacy so he and Andy can have a talk, I love Alec carelessly throwing his hot dog wife behind him.
STARS: ****


MEDICARE
Medicare’s high-tech info delivery methods will confuse elderly audiences

— Very fun cheesy singing from Jason.
— Uh, what exactly is the joke here? Besides Jason’s delightfully corny singing of the same lyrics over and over (which would be pure death if it were performed by a cast member less charismatic and fun than Jason), there’s no comedic conceit I can find at all here. If the joke is simply that the process of applying for healthcare online is confusing and complicated for elderly people, that’s not all that great of a premise, nor am I caring for the execution of it.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Alejandro Sanz [real] perform “La Tortura”


ELF MOTIVATION
(host) gives Glengarry Glen Ross motivational speech to Santa’s elves

— A fantastic idea to have Alec do an elf-themed spoof of his famous scene from Glengarry Glen Ross.
— Alec chewing out the elves Glengarry Glen Ross style is freakin’ great.
— A classic blooper where Alec initially misreads the written “Always Be Cobbling” motto on the chalkboard as “Always Be Closing”, which is what the motto was in the actual movie. Not only is that mix-up of Alec’s very funny, but there’s something strangely endearing about it, as it shows that Alec’s original Glengarry Glen Ross speech is SO ingrained in his memory.
— My only complaint about this otherwise fantastic sketch: it ended EXTREMELY awkwardly. What was with the uncomfortably long stretch of dead silence between the elves cheering the announcement of their Christmas bonuses and the audience applauding?
STARS: ****½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Another good Alec Baldwin episode. Despite a few flops throughout the night, there were enough good sketches, and the episode as a whole had a pretty nice feel to it, no doubt due to Alec’s always-reliable presence as a host. Two sketches tonight were particularly strong and will likely make it to my end-of-season “Best Of” picks (Face Transplant and Elf Motivation).


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Dane Cook)
a very slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Jack Black hosts the Christmas episode

Posted on

December 3, 2005 – Dane Cook / James Blunt (S31 E7)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE TREE RE-LIGHTING
a choir sings holiday songs from which all religion has been excised

— Only one episode after Kristen debuted her big Megan Mullally impression that stole the Spammies sketch, and SNL has already brought it back.
— Kenan’s decision to play Al Roker with a Bullwinkle voice is certainly………..a choice.
— A good way to get the entire cast involved and to get mileage out of the insanely large size of this season’s cast. The full cast being involved gives this cold opening an epic feel that I love.
— All the bowdlerized versions of classic Christmas songs are providing some really good laughs for me. I particularly like how the lyric “sleep in heavenly peace” from the song “Silent Night” has been changed to “sleep in comfortable beds”.
— Ha, the return of Will’s high-pitched singing voice! Nice to SNL utilize it outside of the Patrick & Gunther Kelly commentaries from Weekend Update for once.
— The scene with Darrell’s Trump doesn’t feel necessary and is basically just rehashing jokes from his Promo Shoot sketches from the preceding season, but it’s still giving me some laughs, probably just because this cold opening has put me in such a good mood.
— A fun full-cast “Live from New York…” at the end (back in the days when it was rare to get a big group LFNY, which certainly can’t be said for more modern SNL seasons). Kristen has impressively gotten her very first LFNY in only her third episode as a featured player, though it’s not a solo LFNY. This is also surprisingly Fred’s very first LFNY, four years into his SNL tenure. Even more surprising, he wouldn’t get his first solo LFNY until 2008!
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
host does stand-up about a variety of topics

— Boy, loudness right out of the gate from Dane Cook in this monologue. I’m INSTANTLY being reminded of all of Dane Cook’s trademarks that would eventually be shoved down our throats in the year 2006. I’ve seen some people say SNL is to blame for the overexposure of Dane in the year 2006, because when they got him to host tonight’s episode in late 2005, he was still somewhat unknown to general America, then shortly after this episode, he gradually became HUGE over the course of the year 2006, to the degree that he would be big enough to host SNL’s season 32 premiere that year (less than a year after tonight’s episode), but he also became huge to the degree that most of America (including myself) would get EXTREMELY sick of him that year, not just because of how overexposed and over-hyped he was, but also partly because of his one-note and rather annoying loud, physical, overly-big performance style in his stand-up (in other words, loudness and broadness without actually being funny, as many people have described Dane’s stand-up), and also partly because of him getting exposed by other stand-up comedians for allegedly plagiarizing their material.
— This monologue is going to feel weird to watch back now, as I cannot remember the last time I’ve seen a Dane Cook stand-up set, or seen Dane Cook in general. Even just hearing his distinctive voice in my current viewing of this monologue is throwing me right back to the mid-2000s.
— A lot of relatable stand-up comedy here, but I can’t say I’m finding most of it particularly funny, and, again, there’s just something inherently annoying about Dane’s stand-up delivery.
— Dane, to us viewers, regarding his choice to use rock-and-roll air quotes: “You can use it, ’cause I know you’re gonna steal it anyway.” Oh, the delicious irony of Dane Cook accusing someone of stealing material from him…
— I did get a good laugh from Dane’s bit about shooting a Superman shirt-wearing person in the chest.
— Dane seems to have a bad habit of using a lispy voice whenever he acts out the voice of an average joe character. He’s used it for two completely different characters in two completely different comedy bits during this monologue.
— Despite my annoyance over Dane’s typical stand-up style, as well as some jokes that made me kinda groan, there’s some laughs here and there.
— Some more laughs, from Dane now going into heavy detail of a perfect erection he once had.
— Oh, there’s what’s easily the most remembered part of this monologue: Dane’s bit about flicking a cashew off of his “hog” into his mouth. I remember back when this episode originally aired, an online SNL fan who was seemingly appalled by this portion of the monologue made a prediction that it would result in NBC receiving a huge number of complaints comparable to the huge number of complaints Martin Lawrence’s notorious feminine hygiene rant from his season 19 stand-up monologue received, and that this would cause Dane’s monologue to go on to live in Martin Lawrence-esque SNL infamy. Ha, boy, was that person off in that prediction. I mean, really, are you SERIOUSLY going to compare Dane Cook doing a somewhat-raunchy-but-harmless bit in the year 2005 (which was quite lax about what could be allowed on network TV) about flicking cashews off of dongs to Martin Lawrence ranting inappropriately in the year 1994 (which was much more strict about what could be allowed on network TV) about freakin’ yeast infections and how nasty women smell “down there” when they don’t douche properly? I will say, though, that Dane’s choice of the word “hog” as a euphemism for penis kinda reminds me of Martin’s questionable choice of saying “pillypacker” as a penis euphemism in his monologue, though Dane seems far more self-aware of the silliness of his own word choice.
— Wow, an overall VERY long stand-up monologue. It’s too bad I’ve soured on Dane the year after this episode originally aired, because I remember finding this monologue to be an absolute laugh riot when it originally aired, back when Dane was still in my good graces. Like I said, though, even during my current viewing, despite my annoyance during several portions, I still found this monologue to have some laughs here and there.
STARS: **½


THE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS
high school drama club members perform theatrical morning announcements

— I love the intro that Chris does at the beginning of this.
— Very fun sketch concept and another good way to get most of this very large SNL cast involved.
— There goes Dane using the lispy character voice once again tonight.
— Much like in the then-recent Good Morning Meth sketch, Kenan is wearing a wig that resembles his “Kenan & Kel”-era hairstyle.
— I love the bit with drama club members acting out a teacher slipping and injuring herself. I particularly got a good laugh from the guys saying “Ohhhhhhhh, and…CRACK!” Also, the ending with Kristen (acting as the teacher) alone onstage, humorously speaking over-dramatically into the camera while lying injured on the floor kinda reminds me of a one-off sketch Kate McKinnon would later do in more recent years, in which she plays a teacher who is dramatically lying on the floor in front of her class after having fallen down (which I recall some online SNL fans saying felt like a bad Wiig sketch).
— Fred’s pretentious one-man show bit on school gossip is freakin’ slaying me. Fred is SO good at mocking this kind of stuff.
STARS: ****


TACO TOWN
Rerun from 10/8/05


THE LONG RIDE HOME: THE JAY FEELY STORY
failed kicker Jay Feely (host) tries to land New York Giants’ team plane

— A very heavily topical sketch, but Darrell’s voice-over in the opening intro is thankfully providing us the backstory of the Jay Feely/NY Giants game incident this sketch is spoofing. Otherwise, I would’ve had absolutely no context for this, not just now, but even back when this sketch originally aired in 2005, as I didn’t follow sports back in those days.
— I love Kenan pointing out the irony of Dane’s Jay Feely having to navigate the plane between two radio towers.
— Jason’s drinking gesture was funny and deserved a better audience reaction.
— I like the turn with Dane, when alone in the cockpit, admitting he lied when telling others he has a pilot’s license.
— I liked the ending with the use of tiny model toys representing the plane being driven into a lake, because, as I said in my review of the preceding season’s UPS Guy sketch with David Spade, I’m often a sucker for SNL using cheap-looking tiny model toys to represent something happening.
STARS: ***


TURTLENECK
at a party, overheated (host) won’t doff expensive & itchy wool sweater

— This sketch had gotten cut after several dress rehearsals earlier this season, with hosts Steve Carell and Jon Heder playing the role that Dane’s playing here. (Can’t remember if I ever heard Jason Lee also did this sketch in the dress rehearsal of his then-recent episode.)
— This is a sketch where Dane’s typical overacting and overly broad style actually fits the material perfectly, and complements it instead of detracts from it. He’s taking a very simplistic sketch premise and is making it work.
— There goes poor Andy being stuck in his usual non-speaking bit role.
— Dane, regarding his itchy, unbearable wool sweater: “It’s like I’m being raped by a wookie!”
— A fantastic ad-lib from Dane where, after failing to crash through the breakaway table like he was supposed to when he laid on it, he gets off the table and then literally throws his whole body backwards into the air and onto the table, successfully crashing through it.
— A terrible and baffling ending with Amy reacting to seeing Dane’s sweater by just saying a quiet “Ewwww.” What the hell kind of ending was that?!? The dress rehearsal version of this sketch had a different ending line from Amy when reacting to seeing Dane’s sweater: “That sweater makes you look like a homo.” Uh, yikes. Guess Amy’s “Ewwww” line from the live version is certainly preferable to…THAT.
— I recall someone on an SNL message board once say Dane claimed in an interview that a mishap occurred during a rehearsal of this sketch, in which a piece of lint from Dane’s wool sweater accidentally flew into his mouth and got caught in his throat, and SNL had to temporarily stop the rehearsal of the sketch to feed Dane dry toast to help him swallow the lint. Not that I want to accuse Dane of lying about that story (certainly wouldn’t be the first time Dane would be accused of being dishonest about something, as I mentioned earlier in this review regarding his alleged joke-plagiarizing), but something about that story has always sounded odd and dubious to me. Why was he fed dry toast, of all things? Is that something that’s typically used to remedy sweater lint stuck in someone’s throat? Does simple water not do the trick? Or even just regular non-toasted bread? Am I supposed to believe SNL seriously made this man wait several minutes with lint stuck in his freakin’ throat while someone at the show took the several minutes required to make toast to help him? Or did already-made dry toast just happen to instantly be available, randomly lying around the studio? Perhaps a crew member had been eating toast? Or was the dry toast on the snack table of this sketch’s set (the same table Dane crashed through)? Why would dry toast be on the snack table of this sketch set? Is dry toast something that’s typically served as a snack at Christmas parties (which is where this sketch takes place at)? Haha, I am thinking WAAAAAYYYY too hard about this, but I want answers, dammit! But no, seriously, if Dane’s story is true, then my guess is that the dry toast he was given simply came from a crew member who was eating in the studio, or maybe from the craft service table backstage. Just one more question, though: did this incident happen at dress rehearsal in front of a studio audience who got to witness this ordeal, or was it during one of the audience-less rehearsals from earlier that week? Either way, thank god the incident didn’t happen during the live show.
STARS: ****


LETTUCE
heads of lettuce constitute comfort food as (WLF) consoles grieving (ANS)

— We have reached a huge moment in SNL history, as a very important SNL feature is born: the very first Lonely Island-made Digital Short (I see SNL’s possibly borrowing the “digital short” name from Adam McKay’s little-known short films from season 26). SNL would never be the same again.
— Even just seeing the words “An SNL Digital Short” in those now-famous white letters (the same font as the SNL logo at this time) on that now-famous black screen for the very first time in this SNL project of mine feels so significant and has practically given me goosebumps.
— A short film starring himself and made by he and his Lonely Island partners is just the thing Andy needed by this point of his tenure, given his bad struggles for airtime lately. While this wouldn’t be his breakout moment (that would come in the very next Digital Short two episodes from now), it at least put Andy out there and let viewers know that SNL may have possibly found a regular format to tap into Andy’s underutilized potential. However, nobody watching this particular short back in 2005 could’ve possibly predicted just how huge Digital Shorts and Andy’s SNL tenure would both go on to become.
— A huge laugh from the initial visual of Will very randomly and unexpectedly lifting a cabbage head into the shot and chomping very hard and loudly into it while staring at Andy with a serious, concerned look on his face.
— Both Will and Andy ferociously chomping into lettuce heads throughout their emotional, dramatic conversation is priceless. And I have such fond memories of how much I howled with laughter the very first time I watched this short back when it originally aired, so much so, that someone I was at home with came into the room I was watching this short by myself in to make sure I was alright after he heard me making loud, bizarre sounds, and I had to clarify that I was just laughing very hard.
— Will is showing surprisingly solid dramatic acting chops here. Also, the natural stubble on his face during this short is somehow adding to that dramatic acting of his.
— Great little touch at the end with Jorma Taccone casually passing by the camera while chomping on lettuce of his own.
— A very funny “Through good times and bad: lettuce” twist at the end, capping off what was an overall very strong start to the Lonely Island’s Digital Short legacy on SNL.
STARS: ****½


TARGET
Target Lady (KRW) abandons cash register to secure bargains for herself

— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring character debut!
— Kristen gets her very first big character piece.
— Well…I can’t say I’m finding this Target Lady character all that funny so far in this debut, but there’s something about Kristen’s character voice that I’m actually kinda liking so far. Now being so familiar with Kristen’s real voice, it’s quite impressive how she can get her voice to sound like that when playing Target Lady.
— I don’t know what the hell to think of Dane’s performance in this sketch, but I’m pretty sure I kinda hate it. However, we at least get a funny “weird moment” between him and Rachel while they’re awkwardly waiting for Target Lady to return.
— Blah, I don’t care AT ALL for the running gag with Target Lady always walking away to get an item after asking a customer “Do we have more of these?”
— Bill’s straight man reactions to Dane are making me laugh.
— Overall, not all that great, but if this sketch had remained a one-off and never became recurring, I would look back at it today as a not-particularly-funny-but-harmless early-era Kristen Wiig showcase, and thus, this sketch would’ve been pretty fascinating in retrospect as Kristen’s forgotten first big character piece. Unfortunately, the sketch DIDN’T end up being a forgotten early-era Wiig one-off. It would instead go on to famously be recurred many times and would draw my ire, which diminishes this debut installment for me (not that I would’ve found it great otherwise). The original review I did back in 2005 when this episode originally aired is unfortunately missing (as are all my other original 2005 episode reviews from the first half of this season), which is a shame, because I’d love to see what my original assessment of this debut Target Lady installment was back then, when I wasn’t familiar with it as a recurring sketch yet. From what I can VERY faintly remember of my original review of this sketch, I think I recall liking Kristen and Dane’s oddball characterizations, but strongly disliking the material itself, and feeling it felt too much like a MADtv character piece. (Yet another example of me seeing similarities between Kristen Wiig and Mo Collins.)
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “You’re Beautiful”


WEEKEND UPDATE
RAD’s behavior changed while wearing a fat suit for undercover experiment

Michael Irvin (KET) unconvincingly pleads innocence regarding crack pipe

— Oh, no. Amy is laying on her typical Update cutesy act PARTICULARLY thick during her “Page Six” joke. I’m pretty sure it gave me diabetes.
— Very interesting pre-taped bit with Rachel going out in the town undercover as a fat woman.
— I love the visual of Fat Suit Rachel running around the streets while screaming to random people “I’M HUUUUMAAAAAN! I’M HUUUUUUMAAAAAN LIKE YOU!”
— An obvious joke with black guys being the only people giving positive attention to Fat Suit Rachel, but I laughed when J.B. Smoove got involved.
— A good laugh from the Monday Night Countdown clip, which is supposed to prove Kenan-as-Michael-Irvin’s innocence in regards to accusations of him using drugs, but instead turns out to be him in a crazed state fighting off his co-hosts while holding onto a seemingly stolen TV set and yelling things like “Let go of me, Chris Berman!” and “This is my TV, Stuart Scott!”
— Amy’s “The Rockefeller Christmas Tree was lit…as was I” is one of her more famous Update jokes.
STARS: **


ONE-DAY COMA
after his 24-hour coma, (host) finds that girlfriend (AMP) has moved on

— I recall some online SNL fans hating this sketch, but I recall personally really liking it back when it originally aired. I also recall some online SNL fans claiming SNL stole this sketch from another sketch comedy show (I can’t remember which one; Mr. Show maybe?). Either way, it’ll be interesting to see how I’ll react to this sketch now, given how hot-and-cold I’ve been running on Dane so far during my current viewing of this episode.
— A lot of hilarious reveals throughout this sketch. I particularly like Amy letting Dane know she took the time to go to Great Adventure at one point during his day-long coma, and Chris as the doctor saying he medically induced Dane’s coma because Dane was rude to the nurses. I also love Chris sternly saying, shortly afterwards when Dane gets angry at him, “Keep up that attitude and you’ll be right back in that coma.”
— Dane’s delivery is starting to somewhat hamper this solidly-written sketch for me during his big rant near the end. His delivery in this sketch didn’t bother me before this rant of his, but he’s now starting to get on my nerves a bit, and I’m now finding myself wondering what it would’ve been like if another male host from around this time played Dane’s role in this sketch. Jason Lee, for example, would’ve been solid in this sketch. I can see Steve Carell and Jack Black (the latter of whom is hosting two episodes from now) working decently in it too. Jon Heder? Meh. I can see him overacting this sketch’s material almost as badly as Dane is. Lance Armstrong? Don’t make me laugh. And if it were a cast member who had played Dane’s role, Sudeikis would’ve fit this sketch like a glove.
STARS: ***½


FIGHT BACK WITH VICTOR RAMOS
inept vigilante Victor Ramos (HOS) scouts subway terrorism

— Oh, no. An original Horatio Sanz sketch at this point of his SNL tenure. This spells doom.
— Ugh. There goes Dane using a lispy character voice ONCE AGAIN tonight. Are you fucking kidding me?!?
— A laugh from Horatio’s character’s initial mispronunciation of the name Saunders as “Squanjack”. That also reminds me of a sketch where Horatio himself played a character on the receiving end of having an easy-to-pronounce last name repeatedly get bizarrely butchered: the Taint sketch from season 26’s Conan O’Brien episode.
— Did I just hear Horatio say “Well, let me show you a little planet Jeremy and I have come up with…” when talking about a plan he and Jeremy (Dane’s character) have come up with? I doubt that flub was part of the script, as it seemed way too subtle, though the flub does kinda fit Horatio’s character here.
— Not caring at all for most of the humor in this sketch, and the unbearable character voice Dane’s using isn’t making it any better. At least Horatio isn’t the worst part of a Horatio Sanz-starring sketch for once, though.
— They’re running the “Squanjack” joke into the ground.
— At least, unlike Target Lady, THIS ends up remaining a one-off sketch and never becomes recurring.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Goodbye My Lover”


MORGAN STANLEY
— Not only is this the fourth time this commercial has been aired in just the first half of this season alone (which has GOT to be a record), but this is the second consecutive episode it’s being re-aired in (which has also got to be a record, as possibly the only time in SNL history that an already-aired pre-taped commercial was re-aired in two consecutive episodes). It’s gotten to the point where I can now quote this entire commercial by heart. (“You’ve really done it this time, Ashley. Smoking pot in school? That’s gonna look great on–” etc.)


GOODNIGHTS

— Chris is noticeably seen wearing rather silly-looking workout clothes (near the left corner of the second above screencap for these goodnights). This outfit he’s wearing was supposed to be for some kind of exercise class sketch (I can’t remember the premise of it, from a description of this episode’s cut sketches I once read years ago) that was scheduled to air at the end of this episode, but got cut at the last minute due to the show running long (which I guess explains the bazillionth rerun of the Morgan Stanley ad put on at the last minute at the end of the show, but why not repeat another commercial instead?).

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fairly solid episode with several really good highs, and there were a few noteworthy firsts, particularly the very first Lonely Island-made SNL Digital Short. Dane Cook had a few good moments here and there tonight (particularly in the Turtleneck sketch), but his trademark comedic style hampered a number of things for me, and he seemed to get particularly bad towards the end of the show.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Eva Longoria)
a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Alec Baldwin

Posted on

November 19, 2005 – Eva Longoria / Korn (S31 E6)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

SPECIAL REPORT WITH BRIT HUME
George W. Bush (WLF) is defensive during a press conference in China

— Did Darrell just screw up a line when throwing to Will’s President Bush? Darrell’s been developing a bad habit of stumbling through his lines these past few episodes.
— This Bush press conference is very light on laughs so far.
— This is starting to feel way too similar to the Bush press conference cold opening from this season’s premiere (though THAT cold opening was actually funny). Both cold openings even have Chris’ Wolf Blitzer, Amy’s Norah O’Donnell, and Jason’s Terry Moran as reporters each asking Bush a question.
— I did get a laugh just now from Will’s Bush asking, in regards to democrats, “If they’re so smart, why’d they listen to me?”
— Now Will is the one getting awfully stumbly with his lines.
— Overall, tepid political humor here.
STARS: **


MONOLOGUE
host matches narrator Mary Alice (KRW) with fellow disembodied voice Don Pardo (DAH)

— I remember when this monologue originally aired, Eva Longoria’s joke about how we know her as “a man-eating super-vixen who seduces teenage gardeners…but I also star on Desperate Housewives” made me wonder if whoever wrote this monologue was ripping off a joke that SNL did before. You see, the preceding Sunday before this episode originally aired, NBC premiered the “SNL in the 80s: Lost and Found” documentary from Kenneth Bowser, and at one point in that documentary, they showed a clip of George Wendt and Francis Ford Coppola’s season 11 monologue, and in the clip, Wendt made a joke about how he’s usually “just sittin’ around drinking beer all day…and when I’m not doing that, I’m working very hard on Cheers.” I, at the time tonight’s Eva Longoria monologue originally aired, assumed that whoever wrote her monologue watched the preceding Sunday’s SNL 80’s documentary and, uh, “got inspired” by George Wendt’s aforementioned Cheers joke in the clip of his monologue, and “borrowed” it for tonight’s monologue, only modifying it to relate to Desperate Housewives. 15 years later, I now feel I may have been pushing it in that assumption, and the similarities between the Cheers/Desperate Housewives joke may possibly have just been a coincidence. After all, a similar joke was used in Katie Holmes’ monologue a few seasons prior to tonight’s episode. Plus, it’s not a difficult joke to come up with.
— Funny bit with Chris as a shirtless gardener in the studio.
— A good laugh from Horatio bolting the hell out of there when he walks on as a Latino stereotype right as Eva mentions her distaste for Latino stereotypes.
— In the whole bit with the unseen voice of Mary Alice (the narrator of Desperate Housewives) being seduced by the unseen voice of Don Pardo, Don is actually voiced by Darrell, because, as I mentioned in my review of the preceding episode, Don has temporarily taken to taping his announcements from home around this time, and SNL apparently didn’t have enough time to have him tape a voice-over for the Mary Alice gag in this monologue before the live show aired (SNL probably wrote this monologue at the last minute, if the legend I’ve heard is true about SNL usually waiting until early Saturday to write monologues), so they had to resort to Darrell imitating him once again (which he had done several times in the past during the opening montage when Don was too sick to do the show).
STARS: ***


FIRE ALERT 3000
Rerun from 10/29/05


THE SPAMMIES
(CHP) & (host) win awards for sending unsolicited e-mail

— Not a bad premise, but I’m wary over how this will turn out, as SNL has such a poor track record with award show sketches.
— Rachel’s Rita Rudner impression is always funny to me.
— Kristen’s very first celebrity impression on SNL, and she knocks it out of the freakin’ park doing a spot-on and funny impression of Megan Mullally’s Will & Grace voice, which gets a good audience reaction.
— I remember some online SNL fans, back when this sketch originally aired, pointed out how physically shaky Kristen looked during this sketch, and those fans assumed that shakiness of hers was a sign of new cast member jitters. However, I’m pretty sure the shakiness was just part of her Mullally impression.
— Eva unintentionally gives away how cheap the award statuette prop she’s holding is, as she mistakenly pulls off of piece of the bottom of it and has an odd reaction.
— Overall, I didn’t find this sketch too bad, and I’m glad it wasn’t overlong like a lot of SNL’s award show sketches are.
STARS: ***


DEEP HOUSE DISH
vocalists (AMP), (host), (FRA) & (BIH) perform on MTV4

— Uh-oh. The debut of a recurring sketch I’ve always despised.
— The details of the story within Eva’s song lyrics are fairly funny.
— There it goes, the very first “Ooh-wee” from Kenan’s DJ Dynasty Handbag character. I hate the running gag with him constantly berating Rachel’s Tiara character for being boring.
— This is the third episode in a row with Fred and Bill paired together as a foreign-accented duo (the last two instances were the gardeners they played in the sketch with Lance Armstrong singing love songs at the piano, and the French government officials they played giving a press conference on Weekend Update). Fred and Bill are starting to develop into a pretty fun SNL duo.
— Overall, didn’t care for this, but aside from the “Ooh-wee, Tiara” stuff, I didn’t hate it as much as I recall hating these Deep House Dish sketches when they originally aired. My prediction is that, in these reviews of mine, I’ll gradually start hating these sketches the more and more I have to review them, especially when I cover season 32, as I recall this sketch appearing A LOT that season.
STARS: **


MORGAN STANLEY
— TWO repeated commercials before Update tonight?


THE NEEDLERS
Sally & Dan bicker & have make-up sex at their 10-year college reunion

— This is the third time the Couple That Should Be Divorced have appeared, and in every single one of their appearances so far, the theme song in their opening title sequence has been COMPLETELY different. I find that very odd.
— After Seth claims he has a very good memory, I like the following exchange between Amy and him: “Oh, really? When’s our anniversary?” “The…spring.”
— Ugh, there goes the same-old, same-old twist with the Needlers having sex off-camera when going to a room to argue. So tired by this point.
— Overall, some laughs, but these Needlers sketches are slowly starting to wear a little thin on me. I seem to have more tolerance for these sketches than a lot of other people do, though. I find these sketches harmless and a good display of Seth and Amy’s always-fun chemistry, but ultimately, these sketches become pretty redundant after a few installments. Luckily, there’s only one installment remaining.
STARS: **½


VINCENT PRICE’S THANKSGIVING SPECIAL 1958
in 1958, stars irk Vincent Price (BIH) on his gothic Thanksgiving Special

a box of Chesterfield cigarettes (AMP) boasts of doctors’ approval

— Yes! The debut of these Vincent Prince holiday special sketches, a favorite of mine. Now THIS is a good recurring sketch.
— Despite a line flub early on, Bill is giving a wonderful performance here as Vincent Price.
— Newbie Kristen Wiig steals the show again tonight with her very funny take on Judy Garland. Only two episodes into her SNL tenure, and Kristen is definitely having her breakout night tonight. Also, when this Vincent Price sketch originally aired, I remember getting huge Mo Collins (from MADtv) vibes from then-newbie Kristen in this sketch, and not just because of the way Kristen performed, but also the way she looked.
— I absolutely love Bill-as-Price’s angry line when witnessing Kristen-as-Garland’s drunken inability to sit on the couch: “Oh, she’s on the floor now. AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS?!?”
— Very funny reaction from Bill’s Price when the commercial break he panickedly threw to so he could straighten out the mess on his show ends up being incredibly short. “Who makes 12-second cigarette commercials?!?”
— Odd delayed timing with Eva doing (as Lucille Ball) the trademark “Lucy cry”, though I did like Bill-as-Price’s deadpan response to that cry: “Well, I can’t say I didn’t see THAT one coming.” SNL would later replace this “Lucy cry” portion of the sketch with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, where Eva’s timing isn’t off.
— When Kristen’s Garland is talking to a painting by the fireplace, there’s a very odd gaffe in which the studio lights on this part of the set dim VERY prematurely, as if the sketch has already ended, even though the sketch is CLEARLY still on the air and there’s still about 20 seconds to go until the sketch ends. What the hell?!? However, showing what a true pro she is, Kristen doesn’t let it faze her performance at all. I can’t quite remember if this is another portion of this sketch that would later be fixed by SNL replacing it with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, but I seem to recall them leaving the live version of this portion intact in reruns.
— When Horatio’s Alfred Hitchcock walks in a VERY slow manner to help Kristen’s Garland, I got a big laugh from Bill’s Price sarcastically telling him “Take your time, buddy. No rush.”
— Overall, such a great debut to these Vincent Price sketches.
— I recall Bill later saying in an interview that he was SO nervous performing this first Vincent Price sketch so early in his SNL tenure that when he arrived backstage after the sketch was over, he was so shaken and dizzy-ish from having performed the sketch that somebody had to sit him down on a chair for him to collect himself. His nervousness wasn’t visible during the sketch itself AT ALL, as he performed it expertly.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Twisted Transistor”


WEEKEND UPDATE
congresswoman Jean Schmidt (RAD) digs a deeper hole with apology attempt

Steve Jobs (FRA) supplants obsolete iPods with increasingly tiny models

— Oh, I see Update is unfortunately returning to last season’s newfound Daily Show-esque habit of the anchorpersons reacting to a news clip. Blah.
— Tina, in reply to a clip of congresswoman Jean Schmidt being booed: “Wow, I haven’t heard booing like that since I quit stripping.” Ugh, such a hacky line.
— The sequence with Rachel as Jean Schmidt was awful, and ended with painfully awkward silence from SNL’s audience.
— Speaking of hacky, we get a very weak Monica Lewinsky punchline from Amy during an Update joke about Bill Clinton.
— Ah, here comes Fred. Please save me from the laughless hell that is this Weekend Update, Fred!
— Meh, despite Fred’s good performance here, I’m not caring for the escalation of his Steve Jobs displaying increasingly smaller new iPods.
— Amy, to the audience when Fred’s Steve Jobs leaves after displaying his “invisible” iPod: “He wasn’t holding anything.” Oh, gee, thanks for informing us of that extremely obvious fact, Amy! Because we certainly couldn’t have figured out the joke on our own! (*groan*) For fuck’s sake…
— I did at least get a chuckle just now from Amy’s vocal impression of Regis Philbin during her Regis joke.
— Ha, then-new SNL writer Akiva Shaffer is seen in the photo during the punchline of Tina’s vegetarian restaurants joke (the last above screencap for this Weekend Update). As I said before, I’m always a sucker for when SNL uses comedic photos of their writers for the punchline of an Update joke.
STARS: *½


WHAT REALLY HAPPENED AT THE “DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES” VANITY FAIR PHOTO SHOOT
Teri Hatcher (host) & other Desperate Housewives are divas at photo shoot

— Tonight’s another episode in which Andy gets stuck in nothing but very tiny roles, a non-speaking one in this particular sketch’s case. His role in this sketch might as well have been played by an extra. Aside from the preceding episode, in which he got several noteworthy roles, poor Andy’s been stuck in Bit Part Hell the past few episodes. I swear that most of his airtime lately has been in that often-repeated Morgan Stanley commercial than in actual sketches. That, coupled with the fact that Andy’s fellow newbies (Jason, Bill, and Kristen) have been absolutely THRIVING, is part of what made a lot of online SNL fans at the time very incorrectly predict Andy would go on to be a Rob Riggle-esque one-season wonder. I also remember one online SNL fan pointing out how awkward and lonely Andy looked at certain points of this episode’s goodnights (though I might be remembering wrong and that fan might’ve been referring to the goodnights of another episode from around this time), and how Andy had a look on his face during these goodnights that suggests he’s feeling he’s not quite fitting in at SNL and that this gig hasn’t been working out for him so far.
— Rachel as Eva Longoria??? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve always found Rachel to be adorable, but let’s be honest, her as Eva Longoria HAS to be a tongue-in-cheek casting decision.
— Random casting of Seth as Nicolette Sheridan. Is she only being played by a man because she’s tall? Either way, I can’t say the casting of Seth as her is making me laugh.
— That’s the whole sketch? Uh, wow. This did VERY little for me. Maybe people more interested in this type of gossipy pop culture would enjoy this sketch more than me.
STARS: *½


TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET TWO: STILL TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET
R. Kelly (FIM) adds bizarre cliffhangers in Trapped In The Closet sequel

— Boy, lately, I’ve slowly been starting to forget Finesse is even in the cast.
— Chris doing his announcer voice throughout this sketch in a badass, deep urban voice is strangely amusing to me, without coming off as a hacky “Ha, listen to the un-hip white guy try to sound black!” gag.
— The bizarre turn with Kenan entering as an alien is fairly funny, but maybe I’m just desperate for a big laugh by this point of the sketch.
— Overall, meh. And I’ve never been one of the people who argues that MADtv is/was better than SNL, but I recall MADtv doing a hugely popular Trapped In The Closet parody about a month before tonight’s SNL episode, and it put SNL’s mediocre parody to shame.
STARS: **


HELGA ENGLEHART AND HER THREE LIVING BROTHERS
fratricide influences lyrics but not tone of upbeat German family band

— Has Chris done a voice-over in practically EVERY sketch tonight? It sure feels like it. It kinda bugs me that Chris, a very dependable performer, is being used far more as a voice-over than as an actual onscreen performer. (Unfortunately, the exact same can be said about him in his post-SNL career.)
— Strange sketch, but I’m enjoying the comedic juxtaposition of the gleeful Dutch family band and the dark nature of the death of one of their brothers. I especially like the hints that the text crawl of song titles is giving to how the brother died.
— Ha, much like the badass, deep urban voice-over he did in the preceding Trapped In The Closet sketch, Chris’ gleeful Dutch-accented announcer voice in this commercial is strangely amusing me.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Freak On A Leash”


FIRMIUM
host uses sophomoric euphemisms in diarrhea medicine testimonial

— Blah, not caring for the comedic conceit of “Attractive actress promotes a diarrhea medication”.
— This is just a variation of the Butt Cancer Treatment Center commercial from earlier this season, only live instead of pre-taped, and focusing on juvenile euphemisms for pooping instead of juvenile euphemisms for butts. Didn’t care for this routine in the Butt Cancer commercial, and I care for this routine even less in this sketch. I wonder if both of these were penned by the same SNL writer.
— Okay, I do admit to laughing just now at Eva’s “take the Browns to the Super Bowl” euphemism for pooping, just because I had never heard that euphemism anywhere else but here, and it IS kinda creative (though I doubt whoever wrote this sketch originated it). You can tell Eva was fighting back a laugh after saying that line.
STARS: *½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A forgettable episode. Aside from the fantastic Vincent Price sketch, no segments in this episode stood out to me as particularly strong, and there was a lot of ho-hum material.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jason Lee)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Dane Cook

Posted on

November 12, 2005 – Jason Lee / Foo Fighters (S31 E5)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
sweaty Scott McClellan (JAS) & chary Nancy Pelosi (AMP) are mum

— This ends up being the final traditional installment of Hardball. The only two remaining Hardball sketches, both of which appear the following season, use a very different format.
— Ugh, I am so tired of Darrell-as-Chris-Matthews’ habit of making similes to a random celebrity.
— Darrell is stumbly as hell in this sketch so far. Second episode in a row I’ve noticed that in, as he also stumbled his way through the O’Reilly Factor sketch in the preceding episode.
— Okay, I did get a laugh just now from Darrell-as-Matthews’ simile about Caroline Rhea, which I hate to admit to laughing at, given how crass and immature the line was.
— Sudeikis continues to be come off so solid and experienced for someone who’s so new in the cast.
— A laugh from Amy-as-Nancy-Pelosi’s line about democrats handling their ideas by recording them on a tape, putting that tape in a box, then putting that box in the garbage.
— The dialogue for Will’s Zell Miller has thankfully gotten better than the dialogue written for him in his last two appearances before this, where the writers relied too much on the strength of Will’s great yelling without giving him any actual good dialogue.
— Several parts of this cold opening feel too dead for a Hardball sketch. Honestly, I’m not sorry to see this sketch go away for a while after this installment. Lately, this sketch has been in need of a shakeup, so I’m happy that the next two installments are so different from what these Hardball sketches usually are.
— I like that they let Will’s Zell Miller say “Live from New York…” this time, as his typical shouting is perfect for a LFNY instead of Darrell’s typical boring-ass low-energy LFNYs as Chris Matthews in these Hardball cold openings.
STARS: **½


OPENING MONTAGE
— Kristen Wiig has been added to the cast.

— Around this point of the season, SNL has begun a very short-lived experiment in which they have Don Pardo tape his announcements from home, typically only recording the announcements of each week’s musical guest and host while SNL uses stock audio of Don announcing the cast (this short-lived experiment would go on to become a regular thing starting in season 36 and would last for the rest of Don’s life). That’s VERY noticeable tonight, because when announcing Kristen Wiig, who happens to be the last cast member seen in this opening montage and is a cast member who’s name SNL obviously didn’t already have stock audio of Don announcing since this is her first episode, Don’s voice abruptly changes to a COMPLETELY different pitch and COMPLETELY different energy (very low enthusiasm), and it remains that way for the rest of tonight’s montage when he’s announcing the musical guest and host. The difference in Don’s pitch and energy is jarring. SNL would fix this in the following episode by having Don tape a new announcement of Kristen Wiig’s name that matches the pitch and energy of his stock audio announcements of the rest of the cast.


MONOLOGUE
host goes skateboarding with FRA, ANS, KET, FIM, HOS, LOM in NYC

— Some decent laughs from the cast’s various skateboarding mishaps, even if the gags seem very basic and simplistic.
— A predictable but funny gag with “Lorne” (obviously a stunt double) skateboarding expertly.
STARS: ***


J.J. CASUALS
laid-back Jack Johnson’s (ANS) J.J. Casuals are shoes that look like feet

— A dumb premise, but it’s actually working very well. There’s a silly charm to this that I love, and Andy Samberg (the king of silly charm) is perfect for this.
— Catchy commercial jingle.
STARS: ****


GOOD MORNING METH
hyper methamphetamine addicts’ TV show runs all day

— Is that Amy and Will singing the theme music?
— Right out of the gate, Jason Lee’s performance as an overeager, shaky, strung-out meth addict is cracking me up.
— Fantastic look for Amy’s meth addict character.
— Kenan’s wearing a wig that strongly resembles his hair on the Nickelodeon series Kenan & Kel.
— Lots of very fun performances and silly lines all throughout this sketch.
— Bill is wearing the same sweater that Chris Farley wore in the How Much Ya Bench sketch from the Emilio Estevez episode in season 19 (side-by-side comparison below).

 

— Bill’s delivery of “I rule this town!” slayed me.
— Kenan’s delivery of “Bokay” instead of “Okay” (a line previously used in a James Anderson-written Gays In Space sketch, and would also later be somewhat of a staple of James Anderson-written Deep House Dish sketches), and the fact that his character was introduced by Jason Lee as doing meth for “gay reasons”, both make me wonder if James Anderson wrote (or co-wrote) this sketch.
— I don’t understand the ending with the house randomly blowing up, but it made me laugh anyway because it fits the odd nature of this general sketch.
— An overall fun and solid sketch. If this was indeed written (or co-written) by James Anderson, then I find this to be much better than his usual work.
STARS: ****


THE FALCONER
Donald accepts indecent proposal from land developer (host)

— I love Donald’s question to The Falconer (delivered in squawks, of course) about if the massage The Falconer is going to give him will include a “happy ending”.
— In a gaffe, Lee mistakenly calls The Falconer “dickhead” instead of “dickweed”, then mutters a cut-off “Shit” under his breath when realizing his mistake, then corrects himself by awkwardly saying “di– dickweed”. Will then makes a fantastic ad-lib: “First of all, ask any of my friends and they will tell you I am neither dickweed nor dickhead.”
— A very funny Indecent Proposal turn this sketch takes.
— The nasty lovemaking montage between Lee and Donald is absolutely priceless, making this Falconer sketch even better than typical installments, which is certainly saying something.
STARS: *****


THOMAS & DOBBINS
Thomas & Dobbins offers flimsy money management for low income brackets

— Nice to see the underused Finesse playing a commercial spokesman for once.
— I love the random detail of Amy’s character having the name Kim Barefoot. Between the J.J. Casuals commercial (which included Amy as one of the shoe wearers), Amy being barefoot in the Good Morning Meth sketch, and now Amy’s character in this commercial having the last name Barefoot, there’s definitely some kind of theme going on in tonight’s episode.
— A funny passing mention from Amy of “the Beanie Baby crash of 1996”.
— An overall okay commercial.
STARS: ***


THE SOAKING WET KILLER
too-helpful couple (JAS) & (KRW) naively abets escaped murderer (host)

— Right out of the gate in her very first appearance, Kristen Wiig is coming off strangely comforting in her very convincing performance as a typical corny suburban housewife, and she seems very comfortable. Already a very promising sign from her. You’d never guess this is her very first SNL appearance. I remember one online SNL fan, back when this episode originally aired, made a prediction based on Kristen’s performances in tonight’s episode that Kristen will be a Julia Sweeney-type cast member. That certainly feels odd to look back on, given how we now know Kristen’s SNL tenure would turn out.
— I like how Kristen’s very first appearance has her paired with the also-somewhat-new Sudeikis, and how they’re the only two SNL cast members in this. I recall an online SNL fan back at this time (not the same online SNL fan mentioned above) asking in a very puzzled manner “Who the hell were those two cast members in the Soaking Wet Killer sketch???”
— A lot of laughs from Kristen and Sudeikis naively giving who they don’t know is the Soaking Wet Killer access to so many things they shouldn’t.
— Great twist at the end with the dangerous things Kristen and Sudeikis realized they forgot to tell the Soaking Wet Killer he will have to face at their home.
— An overall very solid little sketch that’s probably forgotten by most SNL fans.
STARS: ****½


REFURBISHMENTS
caulk expert’s (host) tips are penis double entendres

— Speaking of sketches that are forgotten, here’s what seems to be the most forgotten of SNL’s trilogy of dirty wordplay sketches from the early-mid 2000s (Colonel Angus, Cork Soakers, and this). Regardless of where you stand on how good or not the Colonel Angus and Cork Soakers sketches are, you KNOW those sketches. Chances are, you’ve forgotten this Refurbishments sketch, or were never aware of the sketch to begin with.
— Chris’ delivery is great, and is elevating the tepid material.
— At least this overall sketch was somewhat short. Otherwise, it’s easy to understand why this is the forgotten one of SNL’s trilogy of early-mid 2000s dirty wordplay sketches.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “DOA”


WEEKEND UPDATE
riots lead French government officials (FRA) & (BIH) to surrender

Donovan McNabb’s (FIM) mother (KET) wants Terrell Owens to rejoin Eagles

TIF & AMP use dolls for cheerleader toilet tryst Girl On Girl Reenactment

newly-elected 18 year-old mayor (ANS) envisions puerile self-serving laws

— For some reason, it still bugs me how Tina and Amy’s Update suits this season don’t match colors.
— Bill’s aghast, French-accented delivery of the line “They are scum” is freakin’ HILARIOUS.
— For the second episode in a row, Bill and Fred make a great pair of foreign-accented people.
— OHHHHH, GOD. The return of Tina doing a self-indulgent Arnold Schwarzenegger impression during a joke about him. Ugh, I’ve gotten so tired of that routine of hers in the past.
— Okay, it turns out I actually chuckled at Tina’s Schwarzenegger voice bit tonight. Maybe it’s because we’ve gotten a slightly long break from the last time Tina did it.
— I remember how excited online SNL fans were earlier the week of this episode to see how SNL was going to parody the big Terrell Owens scandal going on at the time, and the press conference Owens and his infamous lawyer (the latter of whom I doubt anyone but me remembers anymore after all these years) gave that was ripe for parody. Those online SNL fans speculated who would play who, with Finesse likely playing Owens and Bill likely playing Owens’ infamous lawyer. Boy, did those SNL fans (and me) end up being disappointed when it turned out that SNL’s only way of “spoofing” the Owens incident would be by simply doing yet another “Donovan McNabb and his mother” Update commentary instead of doing a direct Terrell Owens parody. Blah.
— Kenan In A Dress alert.
— Last time Kenan played Donovan McNabb’s mother on Update, it was stated that her first name is Charlyne. Now in tonight’s appearance, her first name is Wilma. What’s up with that?
— Hmm, a Marion Barry Update joke from Tina? Ha, I wonder if the punchline is going to involve crack.
— Nope, the Marion Barry joke turned out to have a completely different punchline. Probably a good thing, as Tina ain’t no Norm and couldn’t pull off a “Marion Barry smokes crack” joke as well as Norm…at least not by this point of Tina’s tenure. Maybe 2000-2002 Tina could’ve pulled it off. You know, back in the days when Tina was actually good at Update.
— OH FUCKING NO. Not the return of Tina and Amy’s routine of using freakin’ Barbie dolls to re-enact a news story. Ugh.
— Oh, are you fucking kidding me?!? Even during this stupid-ass Barbies segment, Tina takes the time to shoehorn in one of her patented unfunny anti-Bush-esque rants that feel more like an excuse for her to push her political views on us without any actual funny material to back it up.
— A very fitting use of Andy in this teenage mayor role.
— A laugh from Andy’s line about practicing “non-voluntary abstinence”.
— Man, so many of Tina and Amy’s jokes tonight aren’t eliciting so much as a mere smirk from me. Tonight’s Update jokes are such sorry excuses for comedy. And unfortunately, much like the last Update, this Update is super-long and never-ending.
STARS: *½


BUTT PREGNANCY
at her baby shower, butt-pregnant (AMP) downplays ass-womb implications

— Boy, it feels weird seeing and hearing Kristen with the rest of the already-established female cast for the first time, especially after her only prior SNL appearance had her performing with just a fellow newbie and the host. It probably feels weird for me because Kristen is the first new female cast member in FOUR YEARS and this had been such a tight-knit female cast.
— Blah, not crazy about this premise of a butt pregnancy, and apparently, neither is the audience, judging from their mild reactions.
— After Lee says, in regards to Amy being butt-pregnant, “We weren’t even trying to get pregnant”, I love Chris responding with a deadpan “Obviously.”
— A thin sketch and not all that funny.
— Chris’ various deadpan one-liners continue to be the only big amusement I’m getting out of this.
— An okay twist at the end with the baby who Amy’s butt-pregnant with turning out to be SNL’s own Will Forte, who the camera then cuts to gleefully waving at us on the home base stage. This continues the trend these past few episodes of sketches being based on cast members’ mothers, though this particular case is obviously not based in reality. Also, this sketch’s twist ending with Will reminds me of the ending of the famous Bad Expectant Mother sketch with Victoria Jackson, where we find out Victoria’s character was Jon Lovitz’s mother back when she was pregnant with him.
— This mostly tepid sketch would later be removed from reruns and be replaced with a cut-after-dress-rehearsal musical sketch in which office employees sing about their love of desserts while they’re in an office cafeteria.
STARS: **


‘STACHIN’
mustached (SEM), (host), (RAD), (CHP) endorse facial hair

providing mustache rides is Buford McNulty’s (HOS) family business

— Nice opening title sequence.
— Seth makes his first appearance ALL NIGHT. Much like the Jon Heder episode, I see this is another week this season where Seth’s behind-the-scenes second job as a writing supervisor left him with VERY little airtime on the show.
— Good idea for a sketch in tonight’s episode, given Lee’s epic real-life mustache.
— I love the ridiculous photos of Fred, Bill, and Will as mustached 70s porn stars.
— Funny bit with Rachel repeatedly being so innocently oblivious to her own mustache when the others call it out.
— Oh, god. In typical Horatio Sanz fashion, he starts cracking up early on in his mid-sketch commercial, due to accidentally saying his last name as “McNutly” instead of “McNulty”. Because, as we all know, simply saying “McNutly” instead of “McNulty” is a perfectly reasonable excuse for a PAID SKETCH COMEDY PROFESSIONAL and GROWN-ASS MAN to helplessly giggle like an idiot for the rest of the sketch.[/end sarcasm]
— Sudeikis’ mere sleazy look while he and Andy are standing alongside Horatio is very funny.
— Ha, I hate to admit it after I just bitched about Horatio’s laughing, but Horatio’s laughing during his fake freeze-frame at the end of his song actually made me laugh out loud. It was something about the way he exclaimed the last few words of his song (“…so wouldn’t you feel better RIDIN’ ON A MUSTACHE!!!”) while he was cracking up that got me.
— Great bit with Chris explaining his Hitler mustache. I especially love his nonchalant reveal of “I was burning down a synagogue.”
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Best Of You”


AMERICAN TASER
American Taser’s stun guns facilitate arms race amongst zap-happy populace

— I absolute LOVE the format of this, with each cast member coming on one-by-one to advertise a special taser, only to get tased out of the scene by the next cast member. I also love how each cast member’s individual taser advertisement counters what the cast member before them was advertising with their own taser.
— A particularly funny line from Seth about knocking a problem on its ass, with him sleazily clarifying “By problem, I mean lady, and by ass….I mean ass.”
— This already-great sketch is getting increasingly fun as it goes along. I also love how, a while into this sketch, each cast member who gets tased responds by saying their own individual funny-sounding pained yelp.
— Back when this episode originally aired and I wasn’t very familiar with Bill, given the fact that this was only his fifth episode, I was absolutely STRUCK by how much he sounded like Dan Aykroyd in this. I even wondered if he was intentionally doing a subtle Aykroyd homage with his characterization here. 15 years later, now that I’m VERY familiar with Bill as a performer, I don’t see the Aykroyd similarities in his character voice in this sketch quite as much anymore, but it’s still there a little.
— Jason Lee’s bit at the end where he tased himself deserved a better audience reaction.
— Overall, this sketch is a personal favorite of mine.
STARS: *****


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very solid episode. While certainly not without its flaws, this episode had A LOT of stuff that worked, and quite a number of those things that worked were particularly strong, two of which are all-time favorites of mine (The Falconer, American Taser). Much like the Jon Heder episode earlier this season, the solid and fun sketch concepts seen throughout this episode symbolize how much SNL’s writing has done such a much-needed turnaround from the dire season 30.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Lance Armstrong)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Eva Longoria

Posted on

October 29, 2005 – Lance Armstrong / Sheryl Crow (S31 E4)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

A MESSAGE FROM THE VICE PRESIDENT
in besieged White House, Dick Cheney (DAH) disputes smoke & fire linkage

— What’s that watery sound I keep hearing off-camera when Darrell’s Dick Cheney is first shown? Some kind of sound glitch in the video file I’m watching of this episode? And what was with the audience’s delayed (but pointless) opening applause before Darrell starts speaking? This cold opening is already starting off awkwardly.
— Darrell’s Cheney downplaying the literal smoke in the room isn’t providing any laughs for me. A lame gag.
— That’s it?!? This cold opening is over already?!? Geez, this cold opening was two-and-a-half minutes of NOTHING. Very lame political “comedy”.
STARS: *


MONOLOGUE
host fields questions of audience members including fiancee musical guest

— Lance Armstrong, regarding getting tired: “Come on, I’m Lance Armstrong. I don’t get tired!” Blah. Then we get a joke about Lance getting his urine tested that holds up very poorly nowadays, for obvious reasons.
— Fred’s gleeful French accent is hilarious.
— A memorable bit with Lance’s jealous cycling teammates sternly asking him “Are you hosting alone or with the team?”, which gets a strong audience reaction.
— A good laugh from the odd way Lance’s teammates all walk away in unison.
— J.B. Smoove steals this monologue as always.
— Liz Cackowski is starting to become the Sarah Silverman or Paula Pell of this era’s questions-from-the-audience monologues.
— When asked about his and Sheryl Crow’s engagement, Lance responds “Yes. We’re definitely getting married.” Oof, talk about things in this monologue that have aged horribly. Not only would these two break up just a few months after this episode without ever getting married, but it would be before NBC even first reran this episode. As you can imagine, that rerun made for an awkward watch back in 2006.
STARS: ***


CELEBRITY IRONMAN
host struggles with running & swimming triathlon legs

Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith (FIM)- he enjoys favored status at ESPN

— Chris Parnell has returned, after taking the last two episodes off to film episodes of an upcoming new NBC sitcom that ends up never even airing. Even though I feel Bill and especially Jason will render Chris a little obsolete over the course of this season by slowly and successfully taking over the type of roles he’d usually get, I still always love and appreciate Chris as a performer, and it feels refreshing to see him again after he’s been away for two episodes.
— Poor Andy, with his only two appearances of the night (the monologue and this) being small non-speaking roles.
— Some mild laughs from Lance’s bad attempts at running, but this isn’t a particularly hilarious premise for a lead-off sketch.
— In retrospect, Finesse’s Stephen A. Smith impression holds up kinda poorly after getting used to the spot-on impression of Smith that Jay Pharoah would later do (even if I don’t care for the very one-note Weekend Update commentaries his Smith would appear in). Didn’t care much for the writing of Finesse’s scene either.
— At one point during Seth’s interview of Lance, the greenscreened background of outdoor scenery accidentally gets replaced for a few seconds by a black screen stating the words “Fire Alarm” (screencap below), which is the SNL control room’s cue title screen for a fake ad that’s going to air right after this sketch.

STARS: **½


FIRE ALERT 3000
the Totally Rad Fire Alert 3000 detects smoke & plays hits from the ’80s

— Good to see Chris in yet another big role tonight early in tonight’s episode.
— Odd how this is the second fireman (or fire chief, in this commercial’s case) Fred has played tonight.
— Pretty fun idea for a fake ad, and there are some good laughs from the upbeat 80s music playing during drastic house fires.
— Chris’ carefree dancing while Fred is sternly informing us of the importance of fire safety is very amusing. Chris’ performance is very fun in this sketch, especially when juxtaposed alongside Fred’s serious straight man character. Given the way Chris is usually typecast as dull and humorless straight men on SNL, I’m surprised SNL didn’t have Fred and Chris playing each other’s roles in this commercial, but I’m glad they didn’t.
STARS: ****


HARMONIES
musical guest joins Indigo Girls (AMP) & (RAD) atop a mountain

— Maybe it’s because there’s not much laughs elsewhere here, but it’s kinda funny watching the dogs wandering around the set and sniffing the guitars all throughout this sketch. SNL’s crew must’ve sprayed those guitars (and perhaps the whole set in general) with some kind of food scent beforehand to keep the dogs from leaving the set.
— Not caring for much of this sketch.
— This already-dull sketch has gotten pretty awkward and slow-paced once Lance has entered.
— Did I just hear Lance pronounce “naked” two different ways in two back-to-back sentences?
STARS: **


THE O’REILLY FACTOR
Bill O’Reilly’s (DAH) irrelevant misconceptions bewilder guests

— Darrell Hammond does a great impression of Darrell Hammond in a wig and prosthetic nose. While he actually has Bill O’Reilly’s speech pattern down fairly well here, the voice itself just sounds like Darrell. This impression doesn’t even compare to the spot-on one that Jeff Richards did. Yet another reminder of how, when it comes to celebrity impressions (especially political ones), what should’ve been a successful passing-of-the-torch between Darrell and Jeff sadly got screwed up horribly. By this point in late 2005, Jeff should’ve been in his fifth season on the show, flourishing as SNL’s resident impressionist, while Darrell would’ve been long gone from the show, gracefully bowing out sometime around 2002 or 2003.
— Another sketch this season where Darrell annoyingly keeps coughing loudly off-camera while someone else is speaking.
— O’Reilly’s idiotic “facts” throughout this sketch are pretty funny.
— Lance looks convincing as someone from the army.
— Darrell’s a tad stumbly throughout this sketch.
— Did we need Darrell pausing for SO LONG just now, in what appeared to be an unnecessary attempt to milk extra laughs from the audience?
— The letters during the Mail Bag segment are pretty funny.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Good Is Good”


WEEKEND UPDATE
drunk Harriet Miers (RAD) assesses why she won’t be on the Supreme Court

Bitch Fight News Quiz- AMP sorts Lindsay Lohan & Maureen Dowd quotes

FIM honors Rosa Parks by staging a sit-in at the Weekend Update desk

White Sox star Scott Podsednik [real] pegs TIF & AMP as Chicago Cubs fans

terrorist Mrs. Butterworth (KET) may be source of maple syrup odor in NYC

— When Rachel’s Harriet Miers starts to break out into Vanessa Williams’ song “Save The Best For Last”, I like Tina’s delivery when telling her “Don’t sing any more of that, or we’ll have to pay for it.”
— Very solid performance from Rachel here.
— Even when merely being heard off-camera in an answering machine greeting message, Will’s President Bush impression cracks me up.
— Didn’t care for the Bitch Fight Quiz bit with Tina and Amy.
— Not a bad premise of Finesse’s commentary, staging a Rosa Parks-inspired sit-in at the white-dominated Update desk.
— Finesse’s comment about Condoleezza Rice cracked me up.
— A weak and lazy ending to Finesse’s commentary.
— Ugh at Tina’s gay-themed “smoking pole” joke.
— Wow, not to be outdone, Amy immediately follows Tina’s awful “smoking pole” joke with a fucking terrible Girl Kills Bear joke of her own. Man, who writes this crap?!?
— Two athletes from two different sports appearing in the same episode (Lance Armstrong and Scott Podsednik)?
— As someone who lived in Chicago for 10 years (funnily enough, I moved away from Chicago just a week before this episode originally aired, to move back to my hometown of New York), I’m personally liking all the insider Chicago references that Tina and Amy are making during the Scott Podsednik commentary; insider references that anyone who’s never lived in Chicago would scratch their heads at. These references are really speaking to me. Tina and Amy referencing the jingle of those hilariously low-budget Moo & Oink commercials especially made me laugh, but it, of course, was met with puzzled silence by the studio audience.
— Kenan In A Dress alert.
— Didn’t crack a smile during Kenan’s entire Mrs. Butterworth bit. It was just plain dumb, and not the kind of dumb I like.
— This overall Update felt super-long and never-ending. And unfortunately, this Update was also the inevitable return of the typical bad Fey/Poehler Update humor, after I found their last Update more tolerable than usual.
STARS: **


LANCE’S SONG
musical guest can barely stomach the awful love song host wrote for her

— Lance badly singing and laughing his way through his first song isn’t exactly funny to me.
— Boy, Sheryl Crow is an even worse actor than Lance is.
— Bill’s mere look is the only humor I’ve been getting here.
— Ugh, I am really not caring for this sketch.
STARS: *½


TRUMP’S CAMEO
Donald Trump (DAH) goes off-script while shooting Days Of Our Lives cameo

— A variation of the strong Trump Promo Shoot sketches from the preceding season. This time, we’re actually seeing the off-camera director that Seth always plays in these.
— Darrell’s Trump inexplicably doing a bad cartoonish Italian accent for one take is pretty funny.
— A mild laugh from the poorly-edited final take of Trump’s scene.
— Overall, despite some laughs, this was a very pale variation of season 30’s Trump Promo Shoot sketches. This lacked the strength of those sketches. (And I never thought I’d say season 30 was better at doing something than season 31 is.)
STARS: **


CAROL!
on a blind date, (host) is inexplicably smitten with indelicate Carol

— Hoooooooo, boy. Here’s the debut of an infamous series of sketches starring a spun-off character from the preceding season’s Key Party sketch. When these Carol sketches originally aired, I absolutely HATED them, as I’m sure a lot of people do. But in more recent years, I’ve seen some people say they appreciate these sketches in a “So bad, it’s good” way. It’ll be interesting to see what my reaction to these sketches will be now. I want to appreciate the “So bad, it’s good”-ness of this sketch like some others do, so I’ll now go into this sketch with an open mind, but don’t be surprised if I end up being salty as fuck towards it.
— Yet another recurring character in this era that has their own opening title sequence and theme song. At this point, I wonder if these 2004-2006 years have equaled the number of title sequence and theme song-having recurring characters that the late 80s/early 90s years had.
— Jason’s a funny straight man here.
— So far, yeah, this is a parade of just about every terrible habit Horatio has as a performer.
— I’m sensing somewhat of a “So bad, it’s good” quality to this, but I’m being more bored than amused by this. At least I’m not outright annoyed like I used to be by these sketches.
— Something about the “HA!” that Lance unintentionally lets out when Horatio causes him to break made me crack up myself.
— Didn’t care for Carol suddenly delivering a manly-voiced “I’m gonna go push one out and smoke a joint in the bathroom.”
— Overall, mixed feelings on this. I could somewhat appreciate the “So bad, it’s good” factor at certain points, but a lot of this did nothing for me. Like I said earlier, though, at least I didn’t hate this and wasn’t annoyed, like I was when these Carol sketches originally aired. Maybe these sketches will continue to slowly grow on me more and more as I review the subsequent installments.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Strong Enough”


NOISY SIDEKICK
(WLF) cackles at mobster’s (HOS) jokes during interrogation of (host)

— I recall once hearing that Will based his high-pitched laugh throughout this sketch on his mother, who we actually met on the show the preceding season, in a Mother’s Day song Will sang to her on Weekend Update. Based on how Will’s mom looked in that Update appearance, I cannot picture Will’s bizarre-sounding laugh coming out of that woman. Also, it’s funny how this is the second episode in a row with a sketch based on a cast member’s mother, as the preceding episode’s Creighton Boys School sketch was based on Seth’s mother, according to commenter HelloStuart. Speaking of this trend of sketches based on cast members’ mothers, and speaking specifically of Will’s mother, we interestingly get a certain odd (and rare to see, as it would be removed from reruns) Butt Pregnancy sketch in the very next episode that ends with a twist about Will Forte himself being who the woman in the sketch was butt-pregnant with.
— Will’s bizarre laughing is cracking me up. He’s one of the few performers who could make a thin sketch like this funny. It’s not one of the better of Will’s oddball sketches, but it works.
— In addition to his laugh, I also like the wiseguy voice Will’s speaking with here, a voice I don’t think I’ve ever heard Will use elsewhere.
— Ha, Will’s shrieking each time he gets shot is hilarious.
— Horatio is surprisingly a decent straight man here, and he’s not breaking at Will’s antics at all.
— The show must be running long, judging by the audience being cued to applaud a few seconds too early at the end of this sketch, and the fact that the following goodnights get cut off very early.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Our first weak episode of the season. A lot of poor or blah things in this episode, and almost nothing stood out as great. This episode as a whole had a flat feel, even despite some of the things that worked. Having an athlete host giving forgettable performances all night probably contributed even further to that flat feel.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Catherine Zeta-Jones)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Jason Lee hosts. We also get a new female addition to the cast.

Posted on

October 22, 2005 – Catherine Zeta-Jones / Franz Ferdinand (S31 E3)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

TROOPS Q&A
George W. Bush (WLF) Q&A with Iraq troops has obviously been staged

— Some pretty good laughs from Jason’s character blankly reading EVERYTHING off of the teleprompter/cue cards during his “spontaneous” answer, including directions that he’s supposed to perform and not read off. This then gets made even funnier by Rachel mouthing Jason’s “spontaneous” answer.
— Funny response from Rachel to Will-as-President-Bush’s questions about the Iraqi “electricians”.
— I love the gag with Finesse going off-script and launching into a heated anti-Bush rant, only to get panickedly cut off by a static screen, which is then followed by the screen cutting back to Finesse, who has now been hastily replaced by another black soldier (Kenan) who is so obviously not him, but is pretending to be him and is obediently following orders.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
unafraid of SNL, host dances & sings “They Can’t Take My Oscar Away”

— Funny little gaffe where, when Catherine Zeta-Jones attempts to toss away her breakaway dress after ripping it off her body, it accidentally flies right back into her face due to being stuck on her hand, which she handles really well by making a funny silly face towards the camera while successfully tossing away the dress during her second attempt.
— Not much of a comedic conceit to this song, and I usually dislike song-and-dance monologues, but Catherine is performing this so well that’s it’s actually endearing me to the whole thing. She’s making this entertaining.
STARS: ***


THE BUTT CANCER TREATMENT CENTER
Butt Cancer Treatment Center patient (JAS) uses juvenile ass euphemisms

— I got some laughs early on from Jason and Amy repeatedly saying “butt cancer” in such a serious actors-in-a-medical-commercial manner, but this whole thing is just an excuse to say a whole bunch of butt euphemisms with a professional delivery. Nothing great to me.
STARS: **


NEWSNIGHT WITH AARON BROWN
in Afghanistan, CNN reporter’s (host) inability to groom takes its toll

— Darrell’s playing lots of CNN/Fox News anchors tonight, even for his standards.
— The name of Catherine’s fictional reporter character, Suzanne Carbonal, seems to have been inspired by the last name of a fictional reporter character that Ana Gasteyer occasionally played, Diane Carbonal. I think Cecily Strong would also later play a fictional reporter with that last name in a sketch from her first season, though I can’t quite remember the sketch (it might be the pope sketch from season 38’s Kevin Hart episode).
— Some mild laughs from how haggard and hairy Catherine is increasingly getting with each passing time jump.
— Meh, this is starting get kinda old, and they’re not making enough comical exaggerations with Catherine’s increasingly unkempt appearance. They should’ve had more fun and gone REALLY out in the escalation of Catherine’s bad looks, but maybe that type of make-up requirement would’ve been too difficult to pull off in a live sketch.
STARS: **½


DANCER PARTY
(SEM) endures jazzed-up party with (host) & other Bob Fosse-esque dancers

— Looks like this could be a fun sketch.
— Amusing to see Andy with his real hair all done up like that.
— Lots of fun performances from the cast here.
— A funny running bit with Andy’s only line throughout this sketch being a dramatically delivered “jaaaaazzzzzzzzz”.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Do You Want To”


WEEKEND UPDATE
failed high school football coach’s (JAS) optimism is unwarranted

sex expert DOP hits on AMP & makes TIF jealous

blind prop comic Pep Walters (FRA) fumbles through his routine

a photo of CHR at the Weekend Update desk marks his passing

— Tina Fey makes her first appearance of the season, as she has returned from her maternity leave. You already know my feelings on this if you’re familiar with my negative reviews of Tina’s Update performance from the last three seasons before this and have read my positive reviews of Horatio’s Update performance when filling in for Tina the last two episodes.
— Tina wearing her old purple Update suit from previous seasons doesn’t match Amy’s new gray Update suit from this season.
— Wow, they’re going right into the jokes tonight, without even doing a bit welcoming Tina back? I thought I remembered this Update opening with one.
— Oh, now we get the bit with Tina being welcomed back, after Amy’s first joke.
— During the welcoming-back for Tina, Tina mentions that Maya had her baby the previous week, and we’re then shown a comical photo of a future SNL cast that consists almost entirely of babies. They were off in their prediction of Kenan not being in that future cast.
— Maybe it’s because it’s her first episode back from maternity leave, but something about Tina’s delivery sounds slightly different tonight. And, maybe it’s because I’ve had a much-needed break from her the last two episodes before tonight, but I’m surprisingly NOT finding myself having such a negative reaction to Tina’s delivery and jokes tonight, which is surprising given how sick I had gradually become of her the last three seasons before this.
— Good to see Jason doing an Update commentary for his very first time.
— Meh, despite some mild laughs and a solid performance from Jason, his commentary itself didn’t turn out all that funny.
— Tina and Amy’s Sports Minute For Ladies bit was…well, to-the-point, at least.
— I’m surprisingly not finding myself hating Tina and Amy’s jokes tonight. I’m not exactly bowled over with hysterical laughter either, but not hating their jokes is still progress. Baby steps, folks.
— Always fun to hear Don Pardo’s voice-over have a big involvement in the comedy of a piece.
— Blah, Tina’s “jazzorcism” joke was the first Update joke tonight I hated, and reminded me of the typical crap seen in a Fey/Poehler Update from the preceding season.
— Fred debuts his latest of many stand-up comedian Update characters, this one having a different sensory impairment from his deaf comedian character, by being a blind comic.
— An overall pretty good bit from Fred, especially his defeated reaction when realizing his joke bombed after the extremely delayed timing of him receiving the correct prop. Not my personal favorite of Fred’s Update stand-up characters, though.
— Ha, I spoke a bit too soon, as Fred kills with a very funny post-commenary bit where, right in the middle of an Update joke from Amy, Fred’s character suddenly shows up in front of the camera, wandering around lost and having to be told the correct direction to walk in. This would later become a running gag with Fred’s impression of blind New York governor David Paterson.
— Unfortunately, the copy of this episode that I’m reviewing is missing an “In Memoriam” graphic for the then-recently-deceased Charles Rocket that’s shown after this Update fades to black. Too bad, because I had kinda been looking forward to seeing it again (as grim as that may sound to say), especially now that, due to this SNL project of mine, I’m FAR more familiar with Charles’ SNL tenure than I was back in 2005 when I last saw this “In Memoriam” graphic.
— Overall, while still not particularly good, tonight’s Fey/Poehler Update was surprisingly more tolerable than usual. It’ll be interesting to see if this is only because I’ve been temporarily put in a better mood toward Fey/Poehler Updates after getting a much-needed break from Tina the last two episodes before this, or if the Fey/Poehler Updates have perhaps genuinely gotten better this season. From what I remember of how the rest of this season plays out, it’s definitely the former and not the latter, and if so, that means my trademark saltiness towards Fey/Poehler Updates will soon be returning in full-swing, sad to say.
STARS: **½


ITALIAN HOTEL
in Italy, Vinny Vedecci (BIH) & other locals mock & court USA tourists

— Ah, the debut of Bill’s Vinny Vedecci! Very interesting in retrospect to see his first appearance being in a sketch that’s NOT his talk show sketch that he would later regularly appear in.
— Bill’s performance is fucking fantastic in this. His voice, his delivery, his facial expressions, his mannerisms, his convincing-sounding fake Italian, just…EVERYTHING about him in this sketch is so damn good.
— Ugh, here comes freakin’ Horatio to ruin the momentum of this sketch with his typical self-indulgent hamminess. He seems so out of place in this sketch, especially when acting alongside Bill’s expert performance. Make what you will of the fact that a new featured player in only his third episode is far outdoing an 8-year-veteran.
— I love Fred’s mocking imitations of the tourists’ American accents.
STARS: ***


ACCESS HOLLYWOOD
celebs perform Sharon Stone’s (AMP) storm relief song

— Catherine as Joss Stone is good casting, as I can see a facial resemblance in this sketch.
— Kenan In A Dress alert. And in typical Kenan fashion, he plays Aretha Franklin the EXACT FUCKING SAME he plays Star Jones, Wanda Sykes, and almost any other black female he’s played up to this point of his SNL tenure. Ugh, stuff like this really makes you appreciate how Kenan is in more recent years, where he’s a more mature, dependable performer, and has long ditched the dressing-in-drag routine.
— I don’t know why, but if they hadn’t put a graphic on the bottom of the screen stating Horatio’s playing Michael McDonald, I’d have assumed he was playing Kenny Rogers.
— That’s it? The sketch is over? This felt pointless and didn’t get a single laugh from me. A big ol’ flop.
STARS: *


CREIGHTON BOYS SCHOOL
fellow teachers resent gorgeous new high school French instructor (host)

— I got a big laugh from when Kenan, after being asked by Amy to say his greeting to her in Spanish, says a very hesitant, puzzled, and half-hearted “Olo?”
— Funny interplay between Seth and Amy here.
— Yet another hammy walk-on from Horatio.
— Ha, a very funny reveal that Horatio’s wife is Rachel, who had been silently sitting there THE WHOLE TIME while he was flirting with Catherine.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Take Me Out”


SINGING VOWS
spanking fetishists (WLF) & (host) sing naughty vows at wedding ceremony

— Much like in the preceding episode, for a new featured player, Jason has had a surprisingly big presence throughout tonight’s episode and has been playing quite a number of utility roles, most likely due to Chris Parnell’s absence tonight once again.
— For some reason, Tina’s facial expressions here are reminding me so much of Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
— Will Forte singing is almost always comedy gold.
— A hilarious turn in the song after such a serious and long set up. Another great display of oddball Will Forte humor.
— A particularly hilarious lyric from Will about how “I fed my palms a meal of womanly butt-steak, and downed half a bottle of Quaaludes”.
— Another particularly great lyric from Will, this time about how the sexual spanking he received from Catherine made him think of his mother, a lyric he then follows up by lovingly saying “I love you, mom!”
— Jason’s extended speechless reaction after the song has finished is priceless.
— Clever ending with Will’s “kiss” to the bride being him kissing his hand, then using that same hand to repeatedly spank her.
STARS: ****½


MORGAN STANLEY
Rerun from 10/1/05


SCHATZKI’S DELI
Abe Scheinwald wants Mexican bombshell (host) for Emily Dickinson role

— A laugh from Seth rushing Amy the hell out of there when Rachel’s sleazy Abe Scheinwald suddenly shows up.
— I’ve gotten tired of this Scheinwald routine during the last appearance it made before tonight, so I’m not all that eager to see this.
— Wow. Very odd and random casting of Darrell, of all people, in the bit role of a non-speaking waiter. What, was Andy too busy or something?
— Funny how Rachel’s two biggest roles of the night (in the Creighton Boys School sketch and this) both have her chowing down on food the entire time. I remember someone on an SNL message board posting during the Live Discussion thread for this episode back when it originally aired, “Do you think Rachel didn’t even bother eating dinner before the show, knowing her only two big roles of the night were going to involve her eating?”
— Didn’t care for the ending.
— Overall, some laughs here and there, but this sketch as a whole was pretty tepid. I’m glad this ends up being the final appearance of the Scheinwalds.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very average episode. Not much to say about it overall. It was certainly less impressive than the first two episodes of this season, but not bad.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jon Heder)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Lance Armstrong

Posted on

October 8, 2005 – Jon Heder / Ashlee Simpson (S31 E2)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

CRONYISM
George W. Bush (WLF) & Supreme Court pick Harriet Miers (RAD) are cronies

— Looking back at this topical cold opening years later, this serves as a time capsule of a period where the related words “Harriet Miers” and “crony” were all over the news at the time. This reminds me that, in terms of Bush-related news, we’re not too far away from the time where the name Scooter Libby was all over the news for a while, which SNL gets some mentions of sometime around this season’s Lance Armstrong episode.
— An amusing way Will’s President Bush greets his crony, Rachel as Harriet Miers, by lifting her in his arms.
— I’m three minutes into this cold opening so far, and there’s not much going on. While I still remember the news story this is spoofing, and while all of the cast members are performing this well, this cold opening is washing over me. Nothing noteworthy is happening here.
— I have absolutely no memory of the news story about Alberto Gonzales that this sketch has suddenly turned into a spoof of, with Horatio showing up as Gonzales and Will’s Bush acting very guilty around him. I did get a laugh from the way Will’s Bush nervously greets him with a fake-friendly “Al-ber-tooooo”.
— The long silent responses from Horatio’s Gonzales throughout his scene feel kinda overdone.
STARS: **


OPENING MONTAGE
— Chris Parnell has been removed from the montage, as he will be absent from these next two episodes while he’s away filming episodes of Thick And Thin, a Paula Pell-involved new NBC sitcom that ends up never airing.


MONOLOGUE
host’s college friend (JAS) appears to have inspired Napoleon Dynamite

— Jason is great as Jon Heder’s old college roommate, Leopold Samsonite, who Napoleon Dynamite is clearly based on, but Jon keeps denying.
— A good laugh from Fred popping in as a knock-off of Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite.
— Wow, Will is an absolute dead ringer for Kip Dynamite. Perfect casting here. His mere appearance gets a great response from the audience.
— Another early display of Jason’s knack for fun dancing.
STARS: ***½


TACO TOWN
the Pizza Crepe Taco Pancake Chili Bag is a many-layered treat

— Even when taking this episode off and being removed from the opening montage, Chris Parnell is technically still a part of tonight’s episode, as we hear his unmistakable voice as the announcer throughout this commercial.
— I absolutely love how the only performers appearing in this commercial are this season’s three featured players: Jason, Andy, and Bill. Such a great group of newbies, and it only gets even better when a certain fourth featured player is added to the cast a few episodes from now.
— This commercial comes to a brief halt by a huge technical error: for about four seconds, this commercial, including the audio, abruptly gets interrupted by an accidental cutaway to a silent exterior still shot of a funeral home (the fifth above screencap for this commercial) that’s supposed to be used for a sketch later tonight. You can hear very uncomfortable and confused light chuckles from the SNL audience during the awkward silence in the studio while this funeral home shot is onscreen. Ha, this technical gaffe oddly cracks me up every time I watch this. Back when this episode originally aired, I recall some online SNL fans saying they initially thought the accidental cutaway to a funeral home was an intentional part of this Taco Town commercial, as some kind of twist implying that eating this commercial’s unhealthy-looking taco would send a person straight to the grave.
— I’m loving the insane escalation to this, with the increasingly ridiculous food items being wrapped around the taco.
— Andy: “Pizza?!? Now THAT’S what I call a taco!”
— I absolutely love Jason’s ending maniacal shriek of “TAAAACOOOO TOOOOOWN!!!”
STARS: ****½


4TH GRADE SCIENCE FAIR
at school, Kaitlin & (host) give a science fair presentation on insects

— Only 11 minutes into tonight’s episode, and the somewhat-new Jason Sudeikis has ALREADY been very prominent.
— A good setting for Kaitlin, and it’s interesting to see her in a classroom for once.
— A pretty funny character trait with Jon always prefacing each sentence during his report by declaring what kind of a statement he’s making (e.g. “fact”, “personal anecdote”, etc.).
— Much like the topical Harriet Miers/crony cold opening, we get another time capsule of the year 2005, with the Dance Dance Revolution portion of this Kaitlin sketch, which really takes me back to how big that game seemed to be around this time.
— I love Kaitlin’s quivery-voiced nervousness when Jon’s character leaves her in front of the classroom by herself, and how Rick sweetly tries to get her out of it.
— Jason is great at the beginning and end of this sketch as the teacher. I especially love his delivery of his ending line “We gotta make this stuff more about science next year, guys”.
STARS: ***½


WEREWOLF
mustache growth is the extent of (host)’s transformation into a werewolf

— Pretty funny reveal of Jon’s alleged werewolf transformation turning out to be him merely growing a mustache.
— There’s Jason once again tonight.
— Yet another nice pairing tonight of the three featured players.
— Not much to say about this overall sketch, but it was decent for me.
STARS: ***


THE MISADVENTURES OF TOM DELAY AND BILL FRIST
Tom DeLay (WLF) & Bill Frist (JAS) drive away from their legal troubles

— Jason’s huge night continues. He’s EVERYWHERE in this episode.
— I love the idea of this sketch.
— I was about to ask why SNL took the Tom DeLay role away from Chris Parnell and gave it to Will, until I remembered that Chris is absent tonight. Amazing that I already forgot that. Chris’ absence also probably explains why Jason has been having such a huge presence tonight.
— I like the running bit throughout this sketch with Will’s DeLay exclaiming “Jackrabbit!” and shooting his gun off-camera.
— Ah, a surprise appearance from Darrell’s Bill Clinton.
— The “S-E-X” line from Darrell’s Clinton was a lame and telegraphed joke that I didn’t laugh at, and neither did most of the audience, the latter of which is surprising, as the audience usually eats up any sexual-related line from Darrell’s Clinton.
— When this sketch originally aired and I wasn’t yet very familiar with Jason, I remember noticing while watching this sketch that he facially looked like a cross between Jeff Richards and Kiefer Sutherland. I now no longer see the Jeff Richards resemblance, but I definitely still see the Sutherland resemblance.
— Overall, I found this sketch okay, but like the Werewolf sketch that preceded it, it didn’t fully live up to its potential and not much stood out.
STARS: ***


¡SHOW BIZ GRANDE EXPLOSION!
Fericito liked Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite

— This sketch makes its final appearance.
— Maybe it’s because of SNL’s new HD format this season, but the set for this sketch looks nicer to me this season.
— A good addition to this sketch with Bill as a new member of Fericito’s house band.
— Bill’s able to get laughs from me even in a silent role, with that eager open-mouthed smile he has on his face the whole time throughout this sketch.
— Overall, some laughs here and there, but overall, I can’t say I’m going to miss this recurring sketch. I never could get into it all that much aside from the one with Snoop Dogg, and that was only because of Snoop’s very fun performance.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Catch Me When I Fall”


WEEKEND UPDATE
self-styled Supreme Court candidate Tim Calhoun lists his qualifications

Everglades python story turns into HOS & AMP performing “Baby Got Back”

LOM sexually harassed AMP by questioning her need to wear a bra

— I got a laugh from Horatio’s sign-on at the beginning, in which he randomly says his first and last name in a very heavy Spanish accent.
— Amy’s “Lost” joke about President Bush was okay on paper, but her delivery of it was SO corny. Ugh.
— Horatio continues to do a surprisingly decent job as an Update anchor. At this point, do we NEED Tina back? You know how I feel about how she’s been at the Update desk the last three seasons before this. She returns in the very next episode, too. Damn. It’s going to be a bummer for me to go from Horatio’s surprisingly refreshing approach as a temporary Update anchor to Tina’s beyond-tired regular antics at the Update desk, which I do not need another season of. I say keep Horatio as an Update anchor for the remainder of this season and keep him out of sketches. That would’ve actually been a graceful way for him to end his 8 years on SNL.
— Hell yeah! Tim Calhoun! We surprisingly haven’t seen him in over a year. He was completely absent in the dire season 30.
— I love Calhoun listing off his various convictions.
— An absolutely priceless turn with Calhoun reading off an index card of his which states “Note from self: don’t mention food court”, then him panickedly whispering to himself when realizing he’s already mentioned a food court earlier in this commentary, then he inexplicably goes on to re-state the exact same food court mention from earlier. All funny stuff.
— Ugh, I absolutely HATED Amy’s cutesy “business babies” joke, as well as Amy’s VERY extended giggling over the “cute” picture.
— I thought the interplay between Horatio and Amy these past two Updates was an improvement over the interplay we typically get between Tina and Amy, but this “Baby Got Back” bit that Horatio and Amy are now doing seems exactly like the type of awful bit Tina and Amy would do on Update, though this one isn’t annoying me quite as much.
— Not caring for Amy’s performance in tonight’s Update in general, which is a bummer after the improvement she showed as an Update anchor in the preceding episode. Her delivery, timing, AND jokes are off tonight. Horatio’s been having the better delivery and jokes tonight, despite some iffy moments.
— The pre-taped sexual harassment scene, with Lorne coming up to Amy, randomly asking her if she’s wearing a bra, then, after she answers “Yeah”, asking her “What the hell for?”, gave me a huge laugh, just for Lorne’s great delivery and the way he walked off in an amused manner afterwards. Given the Me Too era in more recent years, I wouldn’t be surprised if this scene would bother some people nowadays, but Lorne’s very funny delivery of his one-liner makes it still work for me.
— Speaking of the pre-taped Lorne scene, the very end of it would be replaced with an alternate version in reruns, in which, from what my fuzzy memory of it recalls, after Lorne says his “What the hell for?” one-liner to Amy and then leaves, the scene ends with a big close-up of Amy looking comically distraught, whereas the live airing of the scene just ends with a wide shot of both Amy and Horatio sitting there, with Amy in shock over what Lorne had just said, while Horatio has a blank, un-phased look on his face.
STARS: **½


WILSON BROS. FUNERAL HOME
at a funeral home, friends successively go from mourners to corpses

— Ha, here’s the sketch that the accidental shot of a funeral home in tonight’s earlier Taco Town commercial came from.
— I know this is only his second episode as a featured player, but I feel bad that Bill’s stuck playing this sketch’s first dead body in a coffin, because, unlike the other cast members who we’ll be seeing in a coffin as this sketch progresses, we never got to see Bill’s character alive before he was shown dead in the coffin. They might as well have gotten an extra to play Bill’s role. Heh, Bill got “Gilbert Gottfried-ed” in this sketch, if you understand that reference to a very obscure funeral sketch from season 6.
— Guess what? Jason shows up in yet another prominent role tonight.
— A funny cutaway to a smile on a dead Will’s face after it’s revealed that he died of a stroke during sex.
— I love the way Finesse keeps saying “Don’t mind if I do!” in a very high-pitched, friendly voice whenever he’s offered a snack.
— For some reason, I like how you can hear the VERY loud off-camera sounds of cast members getting in and out of the coffins whenever Fred is shown outside of the funeral room. Also, are we supposed to always see Fred switching the names on the “In Memoriam” board whenever the camera cuts to him?
— A very funny blooper just now: when the camera first cuts to the funeral room during the Finesse/Rachel joint funeral, a supposed-to-be-dead Rachel can accidentally be seen still getting inside her coffin, then she quickly “plays dead” when realizing she’s on camera, but can’t help herself from uncontrollably laughing, so she turns away from the camera to hide her laughter, all of which humorously ruins the illusion that her character is dead. When Amy notices Rachel’s uncontrollable laughing, she starts cracking up as well. Admirably, Jason, who’s delivering a lot of dialogue during this blooper, doesn’t let the blooper phase him at all, showing what a true pro he is.
— A very funny cutaway to a dead Finesse in his coffin with his hands in a strangling position after it’s been revealed that before dying from poisoned food he ate, Finesse strangled Rachel to death for giving him that food in the first place.
— A great deadpan one-liner from Kenan, with him telling Amy “Don’t bring that death box around me” when she tries to hug him.
— I am loving the escalation of this bizarre sketch.
— Throughout this sketch, Jason is great in his explanations of the ways each character died.
— Ha, with the way SNL’s control room has to keep constantly cutting to the exterior shot of the funeral home all throughout this sketch, I think I’m starting to understand why that technical gaffe occurred during the Taco Town commercial earlier tonight.
— Excellent line about how Amy’s boss fired her because she was taking so many sick days to go to all these funerals lately.
— Funny twist with Fred holding Jason at gunpoint.
— Jon sure screwed up that “Now no one will call me Four-Eyes again” line during the big reveal in the climax of this sketch.
— I’ve been getting a bit of a Jack McBrayer vibe from the way Jon looks during some points of tonight’s episode.
— Overall, I loved this sketch. Even with some sloppiness (most of which actually amused me), this was a fun, very well-written, and elaborately-structured sketch that refreshingly felt out-of-the-ordinary for SNL, especially coming so soon after the creatively bankrupt season 30.
STARS: ****½


HUBBARD SYSTEMS RETREAT
(SEM) admonishes employees for pranks pulled after company retreat party

— Wow, this is Seth’s first (and only) appearance ALL NIGHT. I didn’t even realize until now that he had been missing from this episode. Now that I think of it, I can remember how him making his first and only appearance so late in tonight’s episode was a huge shock to online SNL fans (including me) back when this episode originally aired, especially after his increased airtime in the preceding season 30. Then we remembered that Seth is a writing supervisor this season, so we then figured Seth’s lack of airtime in tonight’s episode must’ve been because he was sacrificing his onscreen presence to work hard behind the scenes as a writing supervisor. (And given the noticeable upswing in the quality of SNL’s writing this season, I have absolutely no complaints about Seth focusing more of his time in the writers room. And Lorne certainly must’ve been impressed by Seth’s behind-the-scenes work as a writing supervisor, because Seth would later be promoted from writing supervisor to co-head writer halfway through this season.) Seth’s limited airtime in sketches goes on to be pretty much a regular thing this season, to the degree that there’s even one episode towards the end of this season (the Tom Hanks episode, I think) where Seth doesn’t appear AT ALL. Also, now that I realize Seth has been absent for most of tonight’s episode, that, along with the aforementioned fact that Chris is absent tonight, is a big explanation for why Jason has been absolutely DOMINATING tonight’s episode in lots of utility male roles.
— Ha, speaking of Jason dominating tonight, there he shows up ONCE AGAIN in another noteworthy role tonight. And by this point of tonight’s episode back when it originally aired in 2005, I remember being officially 100% sold on Jason, after not having any real opinion of him in his previous episodes as a cast member. His strong showing throughout tonight’s episode proved to me back in 2005 that he was absolutely the next “SNL everyman” that the show had desperately needed for several years.
— Jason is hilarious in his anger here.
— After Jason threateningly says “Wipe that grin off your face, Sanji!”, I love the camera cutting to a silent Fred with a grin on his face.
— Rachel’s delivery of her parting line, “I’ll haunt you all from my grave!”, was hilarious.
— I love Seth’s delivery when calling out Amy on the fact that her doing the finger/eye thing towards Jon gives away the fact that she was the one behind the prank done to Jon.
— Solid sketch overall.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Boyfriend”


VOICE RECORDING BLIND DATE
automated phone menu voicer Julie (RAD) goes on a blind date with (host)

— Good to see Rachel getting better roles tonight than she got in the season premiere. The airtime between her and Amy, as the only two working female cast members at this point of the season, feels a little more balanced to me tonight, unlike the preceding week’s season premiere, in which Amy was given a Bill-Murray-in-season-5-esque huge workload in carrying almost EVERY single main female role while the underappreciated Rachel was left with nothing but two forgettable small roles and a Debbie Downer sketch buried at the very end of the show.
— A good and spot-on performance from Rachel as an automated phone voice recording worker, and this is a decent setting for this concept. Rachel’s getting all the details of automated phone voice recordings down perfectly.
— A very solid ending, leaving this to be a short and sweet sketch.
STARS: ***½


1-800-555-PHUNK
The Black Eyed Peas (AMP), (FIM), (KET), (host) are willing to sell out

— I like Bill’s scruffy, casual look as the spokesman.
— Funny spoof of a real Best Buy commercial that The Black Eyed Peas starred in at this time. Something even funnier about that is, back when this episode originally aired, the very first commercial to air after this Black Eyed Peas spoof ended was the real Black Eyed Peas/Best Buy commercial.
— The casting of Amy as Fergie is surprisingly the first time all night that I’ve noticed Maya’s been absent from this episode (it didn’t even cross my mind when I subconsciously mentioned earlier in this review that Amy and Rachel are the only two working female cast members at this point of the season), as Maya has begun her maternity leave this week, and if she had been available and wasn’t pregnant, she WITHOUT A DOUBT would’ve played Fergie in this commercial. So weird to think that there are THREE cast members missing from the show this week (Maya, Tina, and Chris). Also so weird to think this episode has literally only two women performing in sketches (Amy and Rachel). The very large size of this season’s cast makes it easy to not notice the absence of so many cast members, as well as the onscreen near-absence of Seth. In a much smaller cast, just imagine how empty the cast would feel if three (three-and-a-half if you count Seth’s near absence) cast members were simultaneously absent in a single episode.
— The Bar Mitzvah scene is hilarious.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A solid episode. The post-Weekend Update half was particularly strong and absolutely flawless, in my eyes. So far, I am absolutely loving the feel of this new season. It cannot be said enough how much this season has done a much-needed turnaround from the terrible season that preceded it. In fact, after having to cover THREE consecutive weak seasons (seasons 28-30), it feels so refreshing to be positive about SNL in my reviews again.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Steve Carell)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Catherine Zeta-Jones

Posted on

October 1, 2005 – Steve Carell / Kanye West (S31 E1)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

WHITE HOUSE PRESS BRIEFING
George W. Bush (WLF) addresses executive branch woes at press conference

— Right out of the gate, it’s very noticeable how drastically different SNL’s visual quality is this season, as this is the first episode in HD and widescreen.
— Hmm. Not sure a President Bush press conference cold opening is the most exciting way to start a new season. Then again, a fucking 13-minute-long presidential debate spoof with extremely poor writing is also not an exciting way to start a new season, as the preceding season 30 has shown, so maybe I should count my blessings and appreciate how season 31 is starting off with a simple 5-minute long press conference cold opening with decent writing.
— Will-as-Bush’s bragging about going to the Gulf is worth some pretty good laughs.
— Will’s usual whininess and overly-defensiveness as Bush is coming off particularly funny in this cold opening.
— A very solid part with Will’s Bush saying “I’m beginning to wonder…who’s in charge of this situation?” in regards to how he’s been waiting and waiting for someone to take action on handling the Hurricane Katrina-ravaged New Orleans.
STARS: ***½


OPENING MONTAGE
— Same montage from the preceding season.
— Finesse Mitchell and Kenan Thompson have been promoted from featured players to repertory players.
— Bill Hader and Andy Samberg have been added to the cast tonight.

— Bill’s shot doesn’t match the other cast members’ shots in this montage, as his shot follows the old tradition of many previous opening montages, in which cast members are seen casually doing something before looking into the camera and smiling, whereas all the other cast members’ shots in this particular montage (including Bill’s fellow newbie, Andy) never feature them looking into the camera.


MONOLOGUE
flush with box office success, host sings about joining the comedy A-list

— Funny bit with Steve Carell mentioning he auditioned to be in the SNL cast 10 years ago, but lost to a certain other guy, who we are then shown a humorous photo of (the second above screencap for this monologue).
— Steve noticeably follows up saying he’s on “the hit series The Office” by comically correcting himself with “critically-acclaimed series The Office”, implying The Office isn’t actually a hit (the show was still somewhat new by this point). It certainly feels odd in retrospect to see this implication of The Office not being a hit, given the path we know the series’ popularity would eventually take.
— Meh, not excited about the idea of a season premiere’s monologue being a song-and-dance number.
— Ugh at the song lyric calling Owen Wilson gay.
— Funny part with Steve demonstrating that money falls from his ass.
— Overall, not too crazy about this monologue as a whole, but Steve made the best of it, and there were a few laughs.
STARS: **½


MORGAN STANLEY
Morgan Stanley advisor (WLF) is client’s (FRA) surrogate disciplinarian

— Angry Will Forte is always comedy gold.
— Andy Samberg’s very first line on SNL: an uncensored “Your dad’s kind of a dick.” There’s something strangely significant about that being Andy’s very first line.
— Very funny reveal that Will is, in fact, NOT Amy’s dad; he’s just her family’s Morgan Stanley financial adviser, then we see that Amy’s actual dad is some wimpy pushover of a father.
— Unfortunately, SNL would eventually go on to re-air the living shit out of this solid commercial over the course of the first half of this season. (Hell, at one point, it’s re-aired in two consecutive episodes!)
STARS: ****


JET BLUE FLIGHT 292
onboard TV occupies (host) & alarms (AMP) on troubled Jet Blue flight

— I think I recall hearing this is the very first sketch written by Colin Jost, who is making his debut in tonight’s episode as an SNL writer.
— Funny bit involving Terra Blue potato chips.
— A really good laugh from Seth’s character showing a CGI simulation of the plane, firetruck, and survivors all going up in flames.
— Is that Darrell who’s voice I’m hearing repeatedly coughing very loudly during the aforementioned CGI simulation video?
— I love Chris-as-the-pilot’s very un-phased, casually-delivered announcements about the plane’s dire troubles throughout this sketch.
— Hearing Bill Hader’s voice for the very first time in this SNL project of mine is strangely comforting. I think I had a similar feel when I reviewed Phil Hartman’s very first episode as a cast member earlier in this SNL project.
— Right in his very first sketch, Bill gets a good laugh with his “Oh, you don’t wanna know. Knowing makes it, like, 10 times worse” line, followed by him making a brief silly facial expression in a laid-back, carefree manner (the last above screencap for this sketch).
— An overall solid lead-off sketch for a season premiere, and if this was indeed the very first Colin Jost-written SNL sketch, then this was a very impressive and promising start for the very young new writer (I think I recall hearing he was only about 22 years old at this time).
STARS: ****


ANDERSON COOPER 360
celebrities help with Katrina reconstruction

— Right out of the gate, after the “Anderson Cooper 360” opening title sequence, Seth seems stumbly and is throwing in lots of “uh”s, but I recall a poster on an SNL message board saying this is just part of Seth’s impression, as the real Anderson Cooper was known to talk like that back then. I wasn’t very familiar with how Anderson Cooper was back then, so I can’t confirm if this is indeed correct.
— I like the cutaway to an unhappy, deadpan Kenan in a Spongebob Squarepants costume, asking “Why I gotta be Spongebob?”
— Right in his very first episode, Bill Hader gets his breakout SNL moment. Even in just a small scene here, his hilarious and dead-on Al Pacino impression steals the ENTIRE sketch. I particularly love his epic line before exiting: “There’s a Shih Tzu stuck in a Spanish oak tree. I go…to save…that dog.” I remember when this sketch originally aired, my first thought when the camera first showed Bill as Pacino was a very negative “What?!? This new guy looks NOTHING like Al Pacino! He’s not convincing in this role at all!” Then he spoke in that Pacino voice and I immediately shut the hell up with my criticisms and stared at the screen in both amazement and amusement over the greatness I was witnessing from this newbie.
— Bill’s appearance in this sketch ended up getting SO much buzz, and it (with perhaps a little help from a Weekend Update commentary Bill and fellow newbie Andy Samberg do together as themselves later tonight) made Bill the talk of the town on SNL message boards for a solid week after tonight’s episode originally aired. Everybody was SO excited for this new guy. (I even remember how, when Bill was first interviewed on Late Night With Conan O’Brien a few months after tonight’s SNL episode originally aired, Conan mentioned how Bill’s Pacino debut was the big topic of discussion among Conan and his staffers the Monday after tonight’s SNL episode originally aired, as they were all very impressed by his Pacino.) This is easily one of the most, if not THE most, exciting debuts of a new SNL cast member I can proudly say I saw live as it originally aired. It’s always a thrilling feel to see an unknown new cast member kill like this out of nowhere in their very first episode.
— Steve’s Ray Romano is pretty funny, even if he doesn’t sound THAT much like him. (I recall impressionist Frank Caliendo doing a more spot-on imitation of Romano’s voice, on MADtv sometime around these years).
— Horatio’s Aaron Neville works better for me as a small part of a sketch like this, rather than starring in his own sketch like he did in that City Court sketch the preceding season.
— I’ve mentioned multiple times how I’m never excited about Darrell’s appearances as Geraldo Rivera, but him suddenly crashing Anderson Cooper’s Hurricane Katrina coverage is funny.
STARS: ***½


THE NEEDLERS
at a restaurant, unhappily married Sally & Dan cut each other down

— After debuting with the last name Harrison in a sketch from the preceding season, the now-recurring Couple That Should Be Divorced characters have a new last name: Needler.
— The title sequence for these characters has been altered a bit, and their theme song is COMPLETELY different from their last one.
— I love Seth requesting “a splash of water and, like, 60 sleeping pills” with his drink.
— Good passive-aggressive line from Amy about how Seth’s way of proposing to her was getting down on one knee in an Applebees parking lot and saying “We might as well do this.”
— They repeat the turn from the first installment of this sketch, with an off-camera Seth and Amy having sex in the kitchen, which feels unnecessary, but Jason has a very funny line here when telling Steve and Rachel about the Needlers’ sex in the kitchen: “The busboys are totally into it, but it’s, like, a huuuuge health code violation.”
STARS: ***


GIRLS GONE WILD KATRINA
hurricane victims flash for bottled water on Girls Gone Wild Katrina tape

— I recall this being a controversial piece among some SNL viewers back then, who felt this was in very poor taste.
— This is at least a spot-on spoof of how exploitative those sleazy Girls Gone Wild commercials that were rampant on late night TV back in these days were (at one point, this spoof even uses the same “Show me where babies feed!” line from the real GGW commercials).
— Halfway through this, the comedic conceit is already starting to get pretty old for me, as it’s basically just repeating the same joke over and over.
STARS: **


BACKSTAGE
LOM & shell shocked MIM fear what might come out of musical guest’s mouth

— A decent way to address Maya’s pregnancy.
— A little part that got no audience reaction, but I absolutely loved: upon seeing Finesse show up, Maya points to him while asking Lorne “He still works here???” This mirrors how lots of SNL fans back then, including myself, felt at the time, as we were very surprised Finesse made it onto a third season.
— I’m starting to get kinda tired of the running gag in SNL’s backstage sketches where people get Kenan and Finesse’s names mixed up.
— Funnily enough, Lorne pulls the same “Hey, look over there!” move on Kanye West that Will Ferrell pulled on Lorne himself when Ferrell hosted in the preceding season. Lorne and Kanye are even in the exact same hallway where Lorne and Ferrell were when Ferrell pulled that move.
— Ha, holy hell! Mike Myers and Kanye reunited after their infamous encounter in the Hurricane Katrina telethon that summer. I remember how surprising and exciting it was to see this reunion on SNL back when this originally aired, and how good it was to see Mike getting some humor out of that uncomfortable telethon situation.
— An overall very fun backstage piece, and a nice and out-of-the-ordinary way to set up Kanye’s ensuing musical performance. I always appreciate when SNL breaks format like this.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Gold Digger” & “Touch The Sky”


WEEKEND UPDATE
to HOS, George W. Bush’s disaster supersession strategy merits emulation

FIM tells how to determine gender of nightclub pick-up on car ride home

in impression-off contest, ANS counters BIH’s mimicry with “Whassup?!”

— Horatio fills in for an absent Tina Fey, who we’re told is “out on assignment” and that she and her husband Jeff had a baby girl. Unless I’m forgetting something, I think this and early season 2 are the ONLY times in SNL history where somebody needed to temporarily fill in for a regular Update anchor while they were unable to appear on the show.
— Amy has a new Update suit this season. I remember in my original review for this episode that I wrote back in 2005 when this episode originally aired, I expressed huge frustration over having to sit through a second season of Amy at the Update desk, and wrote “Well, at least Amy has a new Update suit she can be unfunny in this season” (I’m only going by my memory of what I said there, given the fact that my original review of this episode isn’t available at the website in which I archived my old 2000-2014 reviews, as I lost all of my reviews from the first half of this season).
— I’m glad Amy’s opening Hurricane Katrina joke didn’t result in clapter from the audience, given the fact that it seemed kinda designed to.
— Boy, does it feel odd seeing Horatio deliver Update jokes.
— Interesting seeing Horatio now doing an editorial.
— Finesse has surprisingly been getting some good airtime as himself throughout tonight’s episode. I remember how, shortly before this season started, there was an article in which Finesse was interviewed, and he had SO much confidence about his then-upcoming third season on SNL. In the article, he addressed his struggles from his first two seasons, and confidently said that, now that he’s been promoted to a repertory player, he’s going to go into this new season MUCH harder and MUCH more determined than ever, and even had several sketch ideas already laid out that summer, one of which involved him playing a black version of Spongebob Squarepants (which I recall some online SNL fans, after reading this article, cynically pointing out sounded like a rip-off of Eddie Murphy’s Gumby, never mind the fact that Eddie’s Gumby ISN’T EVEN BLACK). In retrospect, it’s so sad to think back on that article and that VERY confident and determined attitude Finesse went into this season with (an attitude that’s definitely been on display in his appearances throughout tonight’s season premiere) when you’re aware of how this season would turn out for him. He would end up being more underused than EVER this season (which is certainly saying something, given the fact that he didn’t get much airtime his first two seasons either), would struggle to get ANY of his material on the air (including the aforementioned Black Spongebob, which never sees the light of day, though oddly enough, Kenan was dressed in a Spongebob costume earlier in this episode I’m currently reviewing), and would end up getting fired after this non-productive season of his. His frustration over his extreme under-utilization this season ends up getting to the degree where it manifests itself on the air at one point: in the very first Two A-Holes sketch later this season in the Jack Black-hosted Christmas episode, Finesse gives a very awkward and halting performance in which you can tell the poor guy was genuinely very upset and possibly even demeaned over the fact that his ONLY appearance in that entire episode, an episode that included some epic, show-stopping, legendary pieces, was at the very end of the final sketch of the night in a very small straight role in which he, as a fucking hot dog vendor, feeds set-up lines to the Two A-Holes. Ouch.
— Really good energy from Finesse during his commentary here, but I wonder if this whole comedy routine about him trying to find out if his date is a cross-dresser won’t go over well with a lot of people in today’s age.
— Horatio’s surprisingly not bad as an Update anchor so far tonight. And given how extremely sick I’ve gotten of Tina at the Update desk the last three seasons, Horatio’s presence is actually kind of a breath of fresh air (which is something I never thought I’d say about Horatio at this point of his SNL tenure). Even Amy’s coming off a little less annoying and a little less cutesy as an anchorperson when she’s paired with Horatio instead of Tina. (We’re seeing an early glimpse of how decent and tolerable Amy would regularly be as an anchor in the post-Tina Fey era of Update, where Amy’s co-anchor is Seth.) Even the writing of the Update jokes seems a little better tonight.
— Great how tonight’s two newbies are getting their own Update feature to introduce themselves to the audience.
— When this episode originally aired, I remember how Amy mentioning in passing here that Bill Hader’s an impressionist sparked some discussion among me and others on SNL message boards about how Bill being an impressionist may possibly be a sign that he was hired to take over the still-on-the-show Darrell Hammond’s spot as SNL’s resident impressionist, and we speculated that this season may end up being Darrell’s last. Funny to think back on that, because, as we know now, 1) Bill would turn out to be SO much more on SNL than a mere impressionist, and 2) Darrell would end up not leaving until FOUR YEARS LATER.
— A very fun idea of an Impression-Off between the two new guys.
— A great way for both Bill to show off his impression skills and Andy to show off the silly goofiness that would soon become his trademark. Despite a fun debut here, Andy actually would go on to have a rough first few months on SNL, to the degree that a lot of online SNL fans back then not only didn’t like him (words like “amateur” and “too green” were often thrown around when they were discussing him), but they were already predicting he would get “Rob Riggled” by ending up a one-season wonder. As we know now, a certain pre-taped short in the aforementioned Jack Black episode from later this season would turn EVERYTHING around for Andy.
— I love how, while the audience is applauding at the end of Bill and Andy’s commentary, Andy cheers “New guuuuyyyyys!”
— Some decent interplay between Horatio and Amy throughout this Update. Much better than the typical interplay between Tina and Amy on Update.
STARS: *** (this is the first Update I’ve given a passing rating to since the days when Jimmy Fallon was still an Update anchor)


THE LUNDFORD TWINS FEEL GOOD VARIETY HOUR
a second Lundford Twins Feel Good Variety Hour emerges from the vault

— I liked the first installment of this sketch from the preceding season, but yeah, I didn’t need a second installment of this. Such an odd choice for a sketch to make recurring.
— Maya’s song is nowhere near as funny as the one she performed in the first installment of this sketch.
— I like Steve’s stiff, ventriloquist dummy-esque mouth movement when laughing at something Maya’s character said.
— Regarding the 1920s musical scene, a lot of online SNL fans back at this time in 2005 mistakenly assumed that the non-cast member performing with Rachel, Chris, and Will (the fifth and sixth above screencaps for this sketch) was SNL writer Liz Cackowski, who online SNL fans had speculated over the summer would be added to the season 31 cast, due to SNL needing more women in the cast with Tina AND Maya’s maternity leaves (Maya’s maternity leave begins in the very next episode, and we won’t be seeing her return to the show for MONTHS). The woman in this sketch isn’t Cackowski; she’s actually SNL’s choreographer Danielle Flora, who’s made a lot of onscreen appearances over the years in many sketches involving dancing (her most prominent and noteworthy appearance is probably in the Ladies Man Christmas musical piece from season 25’s Danny DeVito episode).
— Kenan’s cracking me up during his musical performance.
— Overall, some highlights, but this sketch didn’t work as well for me a second time.
STARS: **


TV FUNHOUSE
“Fun With Real Audio” by RBS- John Roberts never stops being circumspect

— Some laughs from the increasingly humorous situations and locations in which Supreme Court Justice John Roberts talks in circles with very indecisive answers, such as at a fast-food drive-thru, and in response to Mick Jagger asking the crowd “Are you ready to rock?” during a Rolling Stones concert.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Adam Levine [real] perform “Heard ‘Em Say”


DEBBIE DOWNER
Debbie Downer finds company in the misery of soulmate Bob Bummer (host)

— At the beginning of this sketch, Kenan as a wedding DJ tells everyone to “put your hands together for Mr. and Mrs. Paul Anderson”, regarding the couple getting married at this wedding. This appears to be an inside reference to Maya and her real-life husband, well-known director Paul Thomas Anderson.
— OH, GOD. There comes Debbie Freakin’ Downer.
— Amy has been in literally EVERY SINGLE LIVE SKETCH tonight, excluding the backstage Kanye piece, if that even counts as a sketch. Add in the pre-taped Morgan Stanley commercial, Weekend Update, and even a voice in the TV Funhouse, and wow, Amy has had possibly the busiest night a cast member has EVER had in SNL history, aside from Will Ferrell in his final episode as a cast member. This heavy utilization of Amy tonight is presumably a byproduct of both Tina’s absence and Maya’s limited airtime with how far along in her pregnancy she is. However, isn’t Rachel RIGHT THERE? Why not throw more roles her way, instead of expecting Amy to tirelessly carry almost every female role on her back? Now Amy knows how Bill Murray felt having to carry the load of the lead male roles in season 5. Rachel’s only appeared in about three measly sketches tonight, so I don’t understand why she couldn’t have gotten more of the female roles. Further proof of how underappreciated Rachel is. Anyway, in addition to how Amy having to carry the load on the female side of the cast reminds me of Bill Murray in season 5, this whole situation with Amy and Rachel being the only fully-available female cast members at this early stage of this season is rather reminiscent of how the first few episodes of season 16 had to manage with only two female cast members (Jan Hooks and Victoria Jackson), because the show strangely neglected to replace the departed Nora Dunn in time for the start of the season, before eventually bringing in a new female cast member (Julia Sweeney) in the first November episode of that season to take the load off of Jan and Victoria’s shoulders (and interestingly enough, the first November episode happens to also be the exact same point of season 31 where SNL finally brings in a new female cast member to take the load off Amy and Rachel’s shoulders).
— Ha, I love the low-pitched “boing” sound effect that plays when Steve’s character looks into the zooming-in camera after his first depressing one-liner. Funny facial expression from Steve as well.
— Steve’s character, Bob Bummer, gets his own Debbie Downer-esque title sequence and theme song. As I mentioned in a recent review, there’s been a lot of instances around this time where a character with his or her own theme song and title sequence meets a new character who has a similar theme song and title sequence of their own (e.g. the Merv The Perv sketch with Johnny Knoxville as Merv’s brother, the Coolest Teacher At Benton Township High School sketch).
— I actually like Bob Bummer’s theme music (sung by Kenan) much better than Debbie Downer’s theme music.
— Not a bad change of pace for a Debbie Downer sketch, and it thankfully prevents this from going down the same unbearably unfunny path most Debbie Downer sketches go.
— Wow, the timing of the “wah-wahhhhh” zoom-ins are REALLY off during the early portion of Debbie Downer and Bob Bummer’s interaction with each other.
— The closing title sequence with Debbie and Bob is very glitchy, almost ruining the comedic one-liner they say in unison. This glitchiness has actually been happening throughout tonight’s episode in general, mainly during the going-to-commercial SNL bumpers. The glitchiness isn’t a local NBC affiliate issue; the problem is coming from SNL’s end. I chalk it up to this being their first episode in HD, and them not having all the HD kinks worked out yet.
— Overall, not bad for a Debbie Downer sketch.
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— This season is already showing nice signs of improvement from the dire preceding season and the last three weak seasons in general (seasons 28-30). This season premiere was not only good and not only better than at least 60% of the episodes from season 30, but had a much fresher feel and look (the latter is obviously because of the new HD format). Even Weekend Update was decent for the first time in over a year, which I chalk up to Tina Fey’s absence. Not even the slightly heavy reliance on recurring sketches hurt this episode, as most of the recurring sketches had decent outings tonight, even Debbie Downer! Also throw in an out-of-the-ordinary, refreshing, fun, and format-breaking backstage sketch right before Kanye West’s first musical performance, and things are looking promising for SNL’s future. From my memory of how this season plays out, things only get even better as this season progresses. Steve Carell seemed a little underutilized as a host tonight, which is a damn shame given his comedic skills and improv experience, but he was fine whenever the show allowed him to be funny.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2004-05)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Jon Heder

Posted on

May 21, 2005 – Lindsay Lohan / Coldplay (S30 E20)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
Michael Isikoff (CHP) & Condoleezza Rice (MAR) on media ethics

— It appears to be a tradition in this era for the seasons finale’s cold opening to be a Hardball sketch, as this is the third consecutive season finale in which that’s happened.
— I’m tired of Darrell’s Chris Matthews always making analogies to some celebrity.
— A cheap laugh from the “Lard Ball” newspaper photo.
— There’s our obligatory reliable appearance from Will’s Zell Miller. And unlike the last time he appeared, we get Will’s actually turning red-faced during his yelling this time. However, I feel like the writing of his dialogue in these Hardball sketches have been getting weaker and weaker lately. It feels like these last two or three Zell Miller appearances have just been relying on the strength of Will’s great yelling, without giving him any actual good dialogue.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host’s future self (AMP) advises her to slow down & lay off the partying

— Was that awkward opening joke from Lindsay Lohan about hosting SNL as a blonde even supposed to be a joke?
— Not a bad premise of Lindsay being visited by her future self. However, I recall never liking this monologue much.
— When Lindsay incredulously asks “Are we doing porn?!?” after Future Lindsay tells her she’ll be hosting a Cinemax show, I got a laugh from Future Lindsay saying “No, we’re introducing porn! It’s totally different!”
— I’m not getting many laughs here, and this feels kinda uncomfortable to watch in retrospect, knowing how on-point this monologue was in predicting a very trashy and troubled future for Lindsay, which is something I can’t even laugh at anymore. Making this monologue even sadder in retrospect is the fact that, immediately after tonight’s episode ended, Tina and the rest of the cast reportedly staged an intervention for Lindsay backstage, due to so many issues Lindsay was going through (Lindsay would later publicly admit she had a drug and bulimia problem during this period). My details of that intervention and when exactly it occurred may be a little off, as I’m going by my memory of what I once heard years ago, but if I’m correct that the intervention indeed took place right after tonight’s season finale ended, then the fact that, instead of the cast ending a season in a very celebratory manner backstage, the cast ends THIS particular season holding a very somber intervention for a host, is YET ANOTHER sign of what a crappy, troubled season this has been for SNL.
— I got a chuckle from Future Lindsay revealing at the end that she’s only from the year 2007.
STARS: **


WOOMBA
Rerun from 12/18/04


AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
one-legged Amber loses to insecure (host)

Britney And Kevin: Chaotic- Britney Spears (RAD) & Kevin Federline (SEM) mug & make out

— Much like Hardball, Amy’s one-legged Amber character appearing in the season finale seems to have become a season finale tradition around this time, as this is the second consecutive season finale to have one.
— I never realized until now how impressive it is that Amy can stand on just one leg for such a long time in these Amber sketches without needing to lean on something.
— I got a laugh from Amber confidently telling her opponents “Take a walk, bitches!……cuz I can’t.”
— Boy, is Lindsay looking unhealthily skinny here.
— Both the camerawork and the performers’ timing feel a little off throughout this sketch.
— Rachel as Britney Spears in the pre-taped “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic” promo? Doesn’t Amy usually play Britney? Even though the Chaotic scene is pre-taped, maybe SNL didn’t want Amy having two lead roles in the same sketch.
— They are overdoing the hell out of the “Amber falls over after dancing” gag.
— Ugh, there goes the obligatory farting from Amber. And, man, they’re going really heavy on it here.
— Overall, some laughs, but nothing great as a whole. These Amber sketches have seen better days.
STARS: **


MOVIE THEATRE
costumed Star Wars fans deal with failure to get into Revenge Of The Sith

— Lindsay’s timing during her opening long-winded angry spiel seems off.
— I like the bit with Rob revealing that his excessive back hair is all him and not part of his Chewbacca costume, and then saying “Why do you think I identify with the Wookie as a race?”
— Some funny lines throughout this sketch.
— The “Take it easy, Lando” “How’d he know your name was Lando?” exchange between Seth’s character and the black guys behind him was possibly a hacky joke, but it made me laugh.
— Odd use of Darrell here.
— Not sure how to react to the racial gag with Kenan and Finesse at the end of this.
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
“Divertor” by RBS- superhero distracts media to nullify political flak

— The voice for Jay Leno is hilarious.
— Ha, the voice for Sinbad is so bad, it’s funny.
— Isn’t Charles Rangel black? Why is he animated as white in this? He’s also given an odd white voice here, though I’m not too familiar with the real Charles Rangel’s voice.
— I’m enjoying the satire in this cartoon, and the celebrity scandals that are created in an attempt to take attention away from national crises.
— Now Bob Dole is the next celebrity in this cartoon to be given a very odd voice. Must be a theme throughout this cartoon.
— The Jenna Elfman scene is a good and much-needed dig at SNL’s corny and sometimes-annoying “sneaker-uppers” (where a cast member impersonating a celebrity suddenly gets confronted by the real celebrity they’re playing). This also may possibly be specifically spoofing the unfunny Paula Abdul/Amy Poehler mess of a cold opening from two episodes prior.
— The ending line about Mike Tyson was very funny.
— The closing credits of this TV Funhouse misspell Kenan’s first name as “Keenan”.
STARS: ****


APPALACHIAN EMERGENCY ROOM
hayseeds seek treatment for strange maladies

— Lindsay is wearing the same cheerleader outfit that Paris Hilton wore in a Merv The Perv sketch earlier this season (side-by-side comparison below).

I get the feeling there’s yet another sketch I’ve seen that same cheerleader outfit in too.
— For the second time tonight, Lindsay has a hard time delivering a very long-winded spiel. Her flubbing her long spiel in this particular sketch causes it to fall badly flat.
— Lindsay did get a laugh from me just now with her anguished line “I think I popped my cooter bone out!” after her character’s failed attempt to display some cheerleader moves.
— Ugh, not only did the “drawing with a sharpie pen stuck in his butt” gag with Chris’ character not work for me, but did they have to throw in an unnecessary fart sound effect during it, especially given the fact that we just had an excessive fart gag in that Amber sketch earlier tonight?
— Overall, with this being the second consecutive Appalachian Emergency Room sketch that I wasn’t too impressed with, I think it’s safe to say I’ve finally officially gotten tired of this recurring sketch after liking its first few installments. Luckily, there’s only two installments of this sketch remaining, and IIRC, the next one in the following season’s Jack Black episode is actually pretty solid.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Speed Of Sound”


WEEKEND UPDATE
lesbian partners (RAD) & (MAR) exhibit typical marriage-induced foibles

Vicente Fox’s (FRA) apology to Al Sharpton (KET) leads to racial jokes

— Jesus Christ, Tina’s execution of that opening Saddam Hussein headline photo bit was TERRIBLE. The camerawork was also very awkward during that part too (which is my second time tonight pointing out the camerawork being off during something in this episode).
— I’m pretty sure Rachel’s wearing the same wig she wore in the famous Key Party sketch earlier this season (side-by-side comparison below).

— Ugh at the joke of Tina mistaking Maya and Rachel’s lesbian couple for men, a joke that not only hasn’t aged well at all, but was cringey and hacky even back in 2005.
— Ugh again, I can see this Maya/Rachel commentary is going to be a parade of bad lesbian stereotypes. Then again, what else do you expect from season 30, a season hyperfocused on hacky gay stereotype humor?
— Overall, not a single laugh from me during the Maya/Rachel lesbian couple commentary.
— Ugh yet again, this time at Tina and Amy’s clapter-inducing anti-War In Iraq jokes throughout this Update.
— At separate points in tonight’s Update, both Tina AND Amy have flubbed their delivery of a joke. For Amy, it unfortunately happens during what was her final joke of this season, which she comically lampshades in fake frustration during an ad-lib. Her screwing up her last joke of the season is an unintentionally perfect way to sum up just how horrible of a season she’s had during her first year as an Update anchorperson.
— Fred’s Vicente Fox telling Kenan’s Al Sharpton an offensive pizza-related joke about black people gave me a good laugh, and strangely feels like a joke that would’ve fit perfectly in an Update commentary from Ritchie B & Marcus (Fred’s deaf comedian character and his interpreter, played by Kenan), which is funny, because, like this Vicente Fox/Al Sharpton commentary, the Ritchie B and Marcus commentaries pair Fred and Kenan together.
— I’m actually really liking the touchy racial jokes from Fred’s Fox and Kenan’s Sharpton about each other’s culture. Racial humor like that can be hard for SNL to pull off without crossing a line, but I feel this is finding the right balance.
STARS: **


PRINCE SHOW
Nick Lachey (WLF) & Jessica Simpson (host) pop in

— Ugh. I am so tired of these overly formulaic Prince Show sketches.
— Aaaaaand there goes season 30’s obligatory weekly instance of Maya singing.
— Yet another sketch tonight where Lindsay’s unhealthy-looking skinniness is bothering and distracting me.
— Lindsay and Will are coming off so ill-fitting in the role of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Will in particular. I couldn’t in a million years buy him as Nick Lachey.
— Ugh, why does Kenan play almost EVERY single black female role exactly the same? The real Wanda Sykes has a very distinctive voice, but of course, Kenan’s just playing her the same way he plays Star Jones and almost every other black female celebrity he’s impersonated up to this point in his SNL tenure.
— They are overdoing the fucking HELL out of the cutaways to Prince’s “laughing” at Wanda Sykes’ jokes.
STARS: *½


ITALIAN FAMILY
(HOS)’s enraged moll (host) destroys furnishings of his gangster hangout

— Oh, no. This feels like an indirect sequel/variation of that awful sketch from this season’s Robert DeNiro episode where Horatio was a cop going undercover in the mafia.
— Aaaaaand there goes Horatio’s awful habit of awkwardly pausing for a long time before delivering a line.
— Speaking of awful Horatio Sanz habits, he’s, of course, smirking his way though this entire sketch when his character is supposed to be upset. (*sigh*) Only one season left to put up with Horatio’s typical bullshit on SNL.
— A very weak and one-note premise with Lindsay breaking every object in the room.
— I got a cheap laugh from Rachel’s VERY broad Italian stereotype performance, even though her and Darrell’s scene came off pointless and awkwardly staged.
— SNL’s really wasting Jason in this sketch, his only appearance of the entire night.
— All of the gangsters pulling a gun on Lindsay when she’s about to break a photo of Frank Sinatra was the first genuinely funny gag in this otherwise bad sketch.
— Oof, that “They’re gettin’ along a lot better these days” punchline was AWFUL.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Fix You”


RIDE HOME
tipsy lech (CHP) fails to arouse interest of teenage babysitter (host)

— Aaaaaaand the final live sketch of the troubled season 30 just so happens to be a sketch that is eerily similar to a VERY notorious, off-putting, and punchline-less sketch from the also-troubled season 20, in which Chris Elliott as a sleazy husband drives his family’s underage babysitter (played by Mark McKinney in drag) home, and, during the car ride, gets her drunk and eventually has his way with her.
— Yeah, so far, this sketch is giving me WAAAAYYYY too many reminders of that horrible Elliott/McKinney sketch, and the similarities are very unsettling to me. How the holy fuck do you end a season like this, SNL?!?
— I do kinda like Chris’ singing of Green Day’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”.
— This sketch at least ends on a twist that DOESN’T involve Chris getting Lindsay’s underage character drunk and having sex with her, as Maya suddenly pops up from under the backseat as Chris’ wife. Aside from the dirty deed this thankfully prevented Chris from doing with Lindsay, that twist did nothing for me.
STARS: *


BEAR CITY
by T. Sean Shannon- an anthropomorphic ursine watches porn

— This ends up being the final appearance of Bear City.
— A hilarious extensive, lengthy gag with a teenage bear’s mother walking in on him…uh…enjoying himself while watching a bear porno.
— An overall great way for the Bear City shorts to go out. I’m glad that I’ve come around on these shorts, given my very low opinion of them back when they originally aired.
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

— Horatio can be seen holding up a sign that states “Good luck P P”, referring to SNL writer Paula Pell, who we then get a special close-up of onstage. She’s departing from the show to work on a then-upcoming new NBC sitcom called, I think, Thick And Thin. However, the sitcom (who’s cast was to include SNL’s own Chris Parnell, who actually misses a few early SNL episodes in the following season to film some Thick And Thin episodes) would end up never making it to air.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fitting way to end a lousy season, as this was a lousy finale. The post-Weekend Update half of this episode was particularly terrible, aside from the fun final Bear City short. Add in some off performances from a troubled and unhealthy Lindsay Lohan, and you have a very rough season finale.
— Good freakin’ riddance to this wretched season. It was hell for me to review, and I reviewed seasons 6, 11, and 20, all very infamous as the three “disaster seasons” of SNL, yet none of which made me as miserable to review as THIS season did. I absolutely believe this season NEEDS to be universally recognized by people as being right down there with seasons 6, 11, and 20 as one of the worst seasons of the show, even though the media, SNL books, etc. never acknowledge it as such, thus letting this season undeservedly go scot-free in terms of its reputation. Before covering this season in this SNL project of mine, I personally have always strongly disliked season 30, but definitely didn’t feel it was comparable to seasons 6, 11, and 20. After doing these episode reviews, however, I was surprised to discover that this season was even worse than I had ever remembered. Just…“oof” is all I can say after reviewing this season. Though I don’t know if I would say this THE worst season ever, I wouldn’t be surprised if my total rating average for this season as a whole ends up being the lowest ever.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Will Ferrell)
a big step down


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS ENTIRE SEASON, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS OVERALL SEASON STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2003-04)
a mild step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Season 31 begins, with Steve Carell as a host, two new cast members, and the debut of SNL airing in High Definition and widescreen