January 25, 2014 – Jonah Hill / Bastille (S39 E12)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE U.S. MEN’S HETEROSEXUAL FIGURE SKATING CHAMPIONSHIPS
heterosexual male figure skaters (BOM), (JAP), (BEB) lack flamboyance

— Funny concept of ridiculously-heterosexual male figure skaters, as a result of the controversy regarding that year’s Winter Olympics.
— Pretty solid performance from Bobby.
— Beck is very funny during the pairs team scene, especially the lengths he goes through just to take an upskirt photo of Kate with his phone.
STARS: ***½

MONOLOGUE
Leonardo DiCaprio [real] deflates Oscar nominee host’s self-admiration

— It feels a little rare to see questions-from-the-audience monologues anymore in these past few seasons that I’ve been covering. At least this monologue format is a way for some of this season’s very underused featured players to get much-needed-albeit-still-too-brief airtime, much like how the (many) questions-from-the-audience monologues in season 19 gave some much-needed-albeit-still-too-brief airtime to very underused featured player Sarah Silverman.
— The conceit with all of the audience members’ questions to Jonah Hill just being about his co-star Leonardo DiCaprio feels derivative of a few other questions-from-the-audience monologues (e.g. Jason Priestley).
— It’s very surprising that this is the first (and, I believe, only, as of 2020) SNL appearance DiCaprio has ever made.
— I like the What’s Eating Gilbert Grape reference Jonah drops to Leo.
— Some okay interplay between Jonah and Leo, but this feels drawn-out and a little corny at times, and I’m finding myself getting a little bored at certain points.
STARS: **½

SIX YEAR OLD
6 year-old Adam once again uses Benihana as a venue for his comedy material

— This staple of Jonah Hill episodes returns, and, as usual, he appears in that same-old Benihana setting. (*groan*) I actually like this character a lot (probably more than most people do), but damn, SNL, would it kill you to put this character in a non-Benihana setting for once? There are so many fresh, promising settings this character can be put in. It’s so lazy to always relegate this character to only appearing in a Benihana.
— Nice continuity and passing-of-the-torch by having the guardian who’s accompanying Jonah’s Adam Grossman character tonight be his now-stepmother, who was introduced as Adam’s father’s new girlfriend in the last installment of this sketch prior to this episode. A good way to work around Bill Hader no longer being around to play Adam’s father.
— As usual, Jonah’s very good in this role and is cracking me up all throughout this, even if I can’t find much to say about this.
STARS: ****

THE HIT
gunmen (KET), (TAK), (JAP) are enchanted by nighttime snowfall

— Pretty funny conceit with hardcore gangsters gradually and uncharacteristically speaking glowingly about the snowfall, to the degree where Jay’s the only sane one left in the bunch.
— Good ending with Kenan and Taran immediately driving off in a casual manner after Jay gets gunned down.
STARS: ***½

COUPLES QUIZ!
game show contestant (host) admits to clogging toilet

— Not crazy about this premise, though I got a laugh from Kenan’s friendly, innocent delivery of “So, uh…….who did this???” when trying to get the contestants to confess to clogging the toilet.
— They seem to be trying to make it a regular thing for Kenan as a game show host to have an angry “NO!” outburst and rant towards someone, after the New Cast Member Or Arcade Fire sketch from earlier this season.
— I continue to have very mixed feelings towards this premise. It’s way too juvenile and questionable for my likes, and the fact that they would end up making this premise a semi-staple of Jonah Hill-hosted episodes sours me somewhat even more in hindsight, but the ridiculous lengths that the characters are going through just to get Jonah to confess are making me chuckle, as are some of Kenan’s outlandish reasons for why this game show is making such a big deal about a mere clogged toilet.
STARS: **½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Pompeii”

WEEKEND UPDATE
Miami police officer (KET) was amused during his arrest of Justin Bieber

miserable Olya Povlatsky can’t fathom why the Olympics would pick Russia

— Ha, that Bieber mugshot photo always cracks me up (the first above screencap for this Update).
— Kenan’s good in his laid-back commentary as the cop who arrested Justin Bieber, and he has some funny lines, especially his remarks about Bieber’s father.
— Cecily’s drunk Scottish fish joke (“YOU…DON’T…KNOW…ME!”) is probably her most-remembered Update joke from her entire short-lived Update tenure.
— I like how Seth, after a weak joke, ad-libs a callback to Cecily’s “YOU…DON’T…KNOW…ME!” line by quoting it, leading into an all-too-rare instance of actual interaction and chemistry between Seth and Cecily.
— Another ironic SNL instance of Kate playing a character who says at one point, “I wish I was gay.”
— As usual, Kate’s Olya Povlatsky is very funny and likable, and has some great lines.
STARS: ***

WILLOW
a horse kicks, headbutts, bites, brands its groomers (host) & (CES)

— A laugh from the first hit that Cecily receives from the horse.
— Boy, after the aforementioned first hit, this sketch has fizzled out for me FAST. The comedic conceit is one-joke and weak. Maybe if the horse’s violent actions were increasingly outlandish, over-the-top, and non-horse-like, I’d find this funny.
— I remember an online SNL fan back at this time in 2014 saying this felt like a throwback to Jack Handey-written sketches from the late 80s and early 90s. When I initially read that comparison, after having not enjoyed this sketch during my original viewing the night it originally aired, my ears perked up (Handey’s my personal favorite SNL writer of all time), so I then followed that by giving this sketch a re-watch with that new perspective, and I ended up enjoying it. However, all these years later, during my current re-watch, I’m no longer finding myself enthusiastic at all about this sketch, nor do I find the sketch to be Handey-esque. Handey likely would’ve done much more creative, oddball stuff with this premise if he wrote this.
— Okay, so they actually fulfilled my wish for the horse’s violent actions to be more outlandish and non-horse-like, with the ending of this sketch having the horse brand Cecily’s face. Unfortunately, even that fell completely flat for me.
STARS: *½

ME
Theodore Twombly (host) is narcissistic with surrogate (Michael Cera)

— A somewhat interesting concept for a “her” parody.
— Pretty solid scene with Jonah and Vanessa in an elevator.
— Figures that Michael Cera would be cast in this particular role.
STARS: ***

BOSS DINNER
at his boss’ (BEB) house, unnerved (host) yells at himself within earshot

— Another sketch tonight with a thin, dumb, and repetitive premise, but Jonah is actually making this one work. His delivery of his off-camera yells has me in absolute STITCHES. I guess I can place this sketch in the “guilty pleasure” file.
— Jonah’s “Jeffrey has a tummy-ache!” bit, and his reaction to that, is very funny.
STARS: ****

INSIDE SOCAL
laid-back teens (BEB) & (KYM) make TV at a house party

— A trunk piece from Beck and Kyle’s pre-SNL days on YouTube.
— Funny cutaway to Mike and Brooks, though there’s also a lot of reality subtext there, whether intended or not, as Mike and Brooks’ appearance here is brief and just features them standing there with awkward looks on their faces, not saying a single word, all of which sadly sums up the way SNL typically under-utilizes them (and a lot of this season’s other featured players). This also ends up being the ONLY appearance Mike and Brooks make all night (and it’s not even a live appearance), so…yeah.
— Some pretty good laughs from the intentional stilted, low-budget presentation of this show, especially the bad segment jingles.
— Great walk-on from Bobby as Jonah’s pissed-off father.
STARS: ***½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Oblivion”

LAMBORGHINI
(host) & vacuous ex-porn stars endorse Lamborghini

— Vanessa’s monotone “Meep meep” made me laugh.
— Vanessa: “Hasta la vista, scabies.”
— There’s something I loved about Cecily’s extremely random “Why I oughtaaaa…!” non-sequitur.
— Vanessa, when trying to remember the word for pedals: “What are those things you press with your feet?” Cecily: “Testicles.”
— Cecily: “One time, I thought I banged Seal Team Six, but it was actually 16 seals. I was like, ‘Thanks, America! Arf arf.’”
— Vanessa’s whole funeral story is very funny.
— Cecily: “I thought I was in the movie Alien, but it was just a big penis in my stomach.”
— Jonah’s “Well, I don’t know if you can fit a whole car…” line during his confusion about Lamborghini being a vaginal device made me laugh out loud.
STARS: ****

GOODNIGHTS

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty good episode, though, for some reason, I’m left feeling it was kind of forgettable. Despite the good ratings I gave out throughout the review, I can’t help but have kind of a nagging “It was fine, but in a very average, unexciting, ‘just there’ kind of way” gut feeling towards this episode, which, in some ways, is kinda par for the course in regards to how I typically feel about Jonah Hill-hosted episodes.

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Lamborghini
Boss Dinner
Six Year Old
The U.S. Men’s Heterosexual Figure Skating Championships
Inside SoCal
The Hit
Weekend Update
me
Monologue
Couples Quiz!
Willow

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Drake)
a slight step down

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
Melissa McCarthy hosts. It’s also the final episode for 13-year veteran Seth Meyers.