Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
MEMORIAL SERVICE
Elton John (host) performs “Candle In The Wind” variant for Hugo Chavez
— OH, GOD. A translator opening. And one starring Fred, no less.
— Okay, thankfully, the translator bit ended up just being a brief set-up to the main focus of this cold opening: Justin Timberlake as Elton John singing a tribute song to the recently-deceased Hugo Chavez.
— A rarity to see Justin starring in the cold opening of an episode he’s hosting.
— I like the disapproving looks Justin’s Elton occasionally gives into the camera after singing certain ridiculous revelations about Hugo Chavez.
— After a promising start, this is trailing off for me. A lot of parts of the song are starting to wash over me.
STARS: **
OPENING MONTAGE
— The still-injured Don Pardo is out for the third consecutive episode. Like the last episode, former cast member Darrell Hammond fills in by doing a Pardo imitation.
MONOLOGUE
DAA & MAS wait on Five-Timers Club members host, Paul Simon, Steve Martin, CHC, Alec Baldwin, Tom Hanks, Candice Bergen [real]
— After Justin mentions this is his fifth time hosting, this monologue turns into a variation/recreation/homage/sequel/whatever-you-want-to-call-it of the legendary Five-Timers Club monologue with Tom Hanks in 1990.
— Interesting decision to have then-writer Mike O’Brien play the doorman role, which Conan O’Brien played in the original Five-Timers Club monologue back when he was a writer. I wonder if SNL came to this casting decision because Mike O’Brien has the same last name as Conan.
— Steve Martin is his usual hilarious self here.
— Good random inclusion of Dan Aykroyd as a bartender, and I like the line about how bartender was the only occupation the club members could find for him because he only hosted once.
— Much like the joke in the original Five-Timers Club monologue where some of the five-timers order drinks that are named after former cast members, Justin orders the “Kristen Wiig”, which is a drink with a little Gilly wig on the top. I wish the drinks-named-after-former-cast-members gag went on longer tonight with more names.
— I like the paintings of some five-timers who I guess couldn’t cameo in person tonight.
— As always, I have VERY mixed feelings towards a Chevy Chase cameo, for obvious reasons.
— Yikes, Chevy’s voice and delivery sound pretty awful and out-of-it here. A harbinger of his infamous and depressing appearance a few years later in SNL’s 40th Anniversary Special, where he looked and sounded unhealthy as hell.
— Ha, Martin Short as a waiter. This feels like a callback to his appearance in the Platinum Lounge Club sketch from Alec Baldwin’s 2006 episode, though we don’t get Steve Martin saying (in regards to Martin Short being a waiter) “It’s sad” again.
— It’s particularly nice to see Tom Hanks here, given the fact that he was the inductee in the previous Five-Timers Club monologue. I wish they mentioned that here.
— I like how the Taran/Bobby fighting sequence is an original bit that’s completely unlike anything in the previous Five-Timers Club monologue. It’s also a nice novelty seeing current cast members appearing in a Five-Timers Club monologue, which we didn’t get in the previous one with Hanks.
— A funny delighted delivery of “Thank yooouuu!” from a formerly-crying Bobby after he’s complimented on his Drunk Uncle character.
— When this originally aired, I remember what a big and pleasant surprise it was to see involvement from Candice Bergen, especially because, unlike the other five-timer cameos here, all of whom we’ve previously seen make a number of cameos in regular episodes from the 2000s and/or early 2010s, this is the first time in decades we’ve seen Candice appearing in a regular episode.
— Overall, while this certainly doesn’t compare to the quality of the original Five-Timers Club monologue, this was still solid and very fun in its own right.
STARS: ****
IT’S A DATE
bachelorette (VAB) chooses Dick In A Box guys & Festrunk Brothers
— Bill doing his always-fantastic and hilarious job as a game show host.
— I’m glad SNL’s doing something different with the Dick In A Box characters, especially since the formula of their usual Digital Shorts started showing signs of weariness in their last short (the 3-Way one with Lady Gaga).
— This is a much more fun use of the Festrunk Brothers than their appearance in a Roxbury Guys sketch from 1998.
— Everybody’s doing top-notch work here. Not just the heavy-hitters (Andy/Justin and Dan/Steve), and not just Bill, but also Bobby, who’s a fantastic straight man here, and Vanessa, who’s especially funny in her various unexcited reactions to Bobby.
— As a 90s kid, I love the DuckTales reference.
— A great nod to SNL history, with the Festrunks mentioning they’ve been living in America for 37 years. Though to nitpick, if that line was going by how long it had been since the Festrunks made their debut (which was in September 1977), shouldn’t it be 36 years?
— I got a pretty good laugh from the Festrunks telling the Dick In A Box guys, upon finally seeing them face-to-face, “I can’t believe you guys are not black!”
— Nice seeing Vanessa dancing with both the Festrunks and the Dick In A Box guys.
STARS: ****
VEGANVILLE
singing & dancing mascot counters Sausage Depot rep (BOM) with Veganism
— Bobby’s been having a pretty big night so far.
— Blah, our obligatory appearance of this recurring Dancing Mascot sketch. I was about to say, at least this is the last time I have to review one of these, as this ends up being Justin’s final hosting stint (as of 2020), but then I remembered there’s still one more installment of this sketch, when Justin’s the musical guest in the following season’s Jimmy Fallon-hosted episode.
— Good ol’ Bobby’s usual performance style and reliability is welcome here, and he’s a lot more fun than most of the cast members who previously played off of Justin in these Dancing Mascot sketches.
— Yeah, as usual, Justin’s songs aren’t doing a damn thing for me.
— Yeesh, it feels like Justin’s doing even more songs than usual in tonight’s installment of this recurring sketch. (*groan*) This sketch feels ENDLESS.
— At least the ending with a whole bunch of random people showing up to dance in the street with Justin and Bobby is very different than the usual endings of these Dancing Mascot sketches.
STARS: *½
NUVABLING
NuvaBling allows women to combine contraception with ornamentation
— A big laugh from Vanessa’s uncomfortable facial expression when inserting the NuvaBling into her vagina while the camera is on a close-up of her face.
— This feels like the type of Tina Fey-centric female-oriented commercial that would’ve been performed by the Fey/Dratch/Poehler/Rudolph female group back in the day.
— Some more big laughs throughout this, especially the reveal that you can reuse the NuvaBling as an earring.
— Aidy: “Did you get those earrings from Tiffany’s?” Cecily: “Close. I got them from my vagina.”
— An overall solid commercial, and I think Tina Fey would be proud.
STARS: ****
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
host & Jay-Z [real] perform “Suit & Tie”
WEEKEND UPDATE
Stefon’s eccentric springtime fun places have everything you don’t want
— Showing how much SNL has cut back on the number of appearances from the hugely-popular Stefon lately, this is only the second appearance he’s made all season. By this same point (early-mid March) of the preceding season, Stefon was already in his fourth appearance of that season.
— Tonight’s Stefon commentary even acknowledges his lack of appearances lately, by having Seth tell him we haven’t seen him in a while, and he explains “This job writing for Smash is killing me.”
— Stefon is funnier than ever tonight. Among my favorite bits from him tonight: 1) “And if you liked Russell Crowe in Les Miserab, you might wanna hear Jasper The Gorilla pass a kidney stone!”, 2) the last words of murdered blues legend Sweet Willie Walker (“My wallet?!? Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhh right!”), 3) Stefon imitating Donald Duck having a Vietnam nightmare (one of my personal favorite Stefon moments of all time), 4) part of another club name being “–based on the novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”, and 5) one of the features of one of the clubs being the outdoor concert from a Zoloft commercial.
— A nice meta bit with Stefon slyly telling Seth, “I’ll let you join MY Five-Timers Club.”
— Solid ending to tonight’s Update with Stefon signing off for Seth by saying, “For Weekend Update, I’m the future Mr. Stefon Meyers.” A nice precursor (whether intentional or not on writer John Mulaney’s part) to a big event that happens in the next appearance Stefon will make.
STARS: ***½ (the ½ is for Stefon)
THE TALES OF SOBER CALIGULA
reformed Caligula (host) makes Rome boring
— Hmm, not too sure about this premise.
— I got a laugh from Justin bluntly disclosing, “Last week, I woke up with my penis in the mouth of a dead lion.”
— An amusing little ad-lib with Taran sensually feeling Justin’s stomach while making his exit, which catches Justin off-guard.
— There are some laughs, but this sketch feels a little on the dead side.
— Boy, the pig bit at the end fell completely flat. Not even Tim’s usual lovable goofiness could save that bit for me.
STARS: **½
MAINE JUSTICE
transplanted Louisiana culture nonplusses defendant (ANS)
— Yeah, I’ll just state the obvious right upfront: bad idea to do a second installment of this absolutely classic sketch from earlier this season, which always should’ve stayed a one-off.
— At least Jason’s usual delivery as this character is still giving me laughs.
— When Andy Samberg’s character mentions he went to LSU, you can hear an SNL audience member actually gasp very loudly in shock, then proudly yell “Go, Tigers!”
— Man, it hurts seeing such an inferior retread of one of my all-time favorite sketches. Jason’s performance is the only thing really holding this retread together for me (and even his performance isn’t quite as funny as his performance in the first installment of this sketch).
— Okay, we at least get something different from the first installment, with the bit involving an alligator creeping up on the judge bench. Though the quality of this bit doesn’t compare to anything from the first installment of this sketch, it’s pretty funny, especially Jason and Justin tenderly feeding the alligator.
STARS: **½
MUSICAL GUEST INTRO
the Three Amigos salute & introduce host
— Fairly charming to see a reprisal of the classic Three Amigos salute. However, showing how old these guys now are, Steve did the cough way too early, and, much like in the monologue earlier tonight, Chevy’s voice still sounds like he’s on his deathbed.
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
host performs “Mirrors”
SHE’S GOT A D!%K
host stars in romantic comedy about a woman with a penis (NAP)
— Wait, is SNL freakin’ kidding me with this premise?!?
— I will say that Kenan’s confused reactions are cracking me up, at least.
— The acting in this is a spot-on spoof of the acting in typical rom-coms. That and Kenan’s lines are the only things keeping this from being a COMPLETE dud.
STARS: *½
MOËT & CHANDON
(host) & vacuous ex-porn stars endorse Moët & Chandon champagne
— So now we’re bringing back ANOTHER classic original sketch from this season’s Jamie Foxx episode???
— Cecily: “You’ll think you’ve just graduated Magna cum loudly.”
— Vanessa: “I got cut in half for real at a magic show. Now some of my middle parts are plastic bags, and I can’t wait to fill them with Moët Chammbimm!”
— Cecily: “I got banged into a sink hole. Then a mole person banged me back up. I’ll drink that that!”
— It’s too long for me to directly quote, but Vanessa’s whole jerking-off-a-horse bit is yet another great spiel in this sketch.
— Okay, unlike Maine Justice, it turns out that this is something that actually works as a recurring sketch. Like last time, we’re getting tons of killer lines.
STARS: ****½
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A somewhat mixed episode as a whole, and the post-Weekend Update half was rough until the great final sketch. However, this episode had a pretty good number of strong and memorable moments, such as the fun and special-feeling one-two punch of the monologue and It’s A Date sketch back-to-back. I also like how this episode didn’t have quite as much of a “same-y” feel that a lot of Justin Timberlake-hosted episodes suffer from (the refreshing absence of The Barry Gibb Talk Show tonight probably has something to do with that), but there was still quite a lot of rehashing tonight in general.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Moët & Chandon
Monologue
Nuvabling
It’s A Date
Weekend Update
Maine Justice
The Tales of Sober Caligula
Memorial Service
Veganville
She’s Got A D!%k
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Kevin Hart)
about the same
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Melissa McCarthy