Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
FOX REPORT W/ SHEPARD SMITH
Shepard Smith (BIH) checks in with Mitt Romney (JAS) & sons
— Feels a bit odd in hindsight seeing Kristen playing Ann Romney (which I forgot she ever did), given the fact that a certain upcoming new female cast member (joining the show two episodes from now) would have a breakout moment doing a well-received take on Ann Romney in a Weekend Update commentary the following season.
— The joke about America indifferently opting to vote for Mitt Romney “…….I guess” was already made on Weekend Update in a previous episode this season.
— Ha, for once in SNL history, there’s a shortage of white guys in the cast, to the degree that they’re forced to cast the Weekend-Update-only Seth Meyers and writer Mike O’Brien as two of Mitt Romney’s five sons in this cold opening.
— Bobby, as one of Romney’s five sons: “I’m the rebel…(*whispers into the camera*) because I eat sugar!”
— The disturbing back-and-forths that Bill’s Shepard Smith occasionally has with his mother’s skeleton are very funny.
— Bill’s Shepard Smith, after his interview with Romney’s five sons: “My thanks to Stephen King for creating those boys!”
STARS: ***
MONOLOGUE
despite JIF’s reassurance of trust in host, Jon Hamm [real] is on standby
— Long before the audience has stopped their opening applause, Lindsay Lohan oddly chooses to begin saying her lines (the lines after the usual “Thank you”s), causing the applause to drown out her lines a little bit at first. Is she that out of practice with SNL? Then again, it HAS been 6 years since she last hosted prior to this.
— Lindsay, regarding Kenan checking her eyes: “You know, I should be checking your eyes.” Kenan: “Oh, I’ll save you the trouble. I’ve been stoned since Good Burger.”
— As Kristen makes her exit, a woman in the audience can be heard maniacally shrieking at the top of her lungs in an excited manner, “KRISTEN WIIIIIIIG!!!!”
— Jimmy Fallon cameo.
— This monologue has been featuring lots of SNL desperately trying to remind us of the positive aspects from the earlier career of the troubled Lindsay Lohan. I mean, I get why SNL’s doing that, but I don’t like how it feels like they’re trying too hard, and something about that feels a little depressing to me. I wonder if the latter is also caused by me knowing in hindsight that, despite SNL’s efforts, this episode doesn’t end up jumpstarting a big comeback in Lindsay’s career that SNL intended.
— Ha, now we get Jon Hamm, a cameo I’m more happy to see (nothing against Jimmy, though). We also get a comical mention of him being on standby as tonight’s backup host, though sadly, that also reminds me of the real-life situation with SNL having Chris Rock on standby as a backup host for the season 23 Chris Farley-hosted episode, due to the horrible state Farley’s health was in at the time.
STARS: **
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF DISNEY
Belle (ABE) & other Disney princesses misbehave
— A very fun and solid concept.
— A good laugh from the bit with Nasim’s Jasmine disclosing the fact that she unknowingly had sex with Iago, the parrot.
— I absolutely love the bit with the dwarves’ hands being seen high-fiving Vanessa’s Snow White in response to a witty remark she made in her confessional.
STARS: ****
2012 PSYCHIC AWARDS
In Memoriam reel at Psychic Awards honors not-yet-deceased clarivoyants
— Funny bit with the psychic nominees in one award category being shown reacting in disappointment over losing long before the winner is actually announced.
— Some amusing corny awards show-esque quips from Andy throughout this sketch.
— Odd how this is the second awards show sketch this season centered around an In Memoriam montage (the first sketch being the Adult Video Awards sketch from the Charles Barkley episode). However, there’s an original twist to this In Memoriam montage, with it being for the psychics and magicians we’re going to lose in the coming year.
— Some pretty solid gags during the In Memoriam part, such as the bird flu bit with Abby, and the diabetes bit with Bobby. Odd coincidence, though, that that’s the second sugar-eating joke with Bobby in tonight’s episode alone (the first was mentioned in my review of the cold opening).
STARS: ***½
SCARED STRAIGHT
Lorenzo McIntosh & host present teens with unpleasant prison scenarios
— This recurring sketch makes its first appearance in a year, and this ends up being its final appearance.
— A funny eventual reveal that Lindsay’s playing herself.
— Geez, Lindsay botched the punchline to that Tweety joke by pausing for an absurdly long time before delivering it.
— The usual laughs from this recurring sketch’s movie references and prison rape mentions, even if it’s old hat by now.
— More sloppiness from Lindsay, as she’s stumbling like crazy over her stretch of dialogue right now.
— Holy hell, I’m a bit surprised that AIDS joke was allowed to get through. Even Jason’s character expresses complete disbelief over hearing that (I know he usually does that in response to the crude prison rape mentions in these sketches, but it seemed especially believable when he did it this time).
— Yeah, the more this sketch is going on, the more Lindsay is killing the momentum of it for me. Her delivery here is so off.
— Ha, the usual bit at the end of this recurring sketch where Jason intentionally cracks the other performers up by hopping up in a sitting position onto the desk is even funnier than usual this time, with the performers laughing particularly hard, even Jason himself. That alone makes up for any shortcomings in tonight’s overall Scared Straight installment, and is actually a good and fitting note to officially end this recurring sketch’s run on.
STARS: ***
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Love Interruption”
WEEKEND UPDATE
James Carville (BIH) disparages Rush Limbaugh, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich
Snooki (BOM) may have been impregnated by Jon Hamm [real]
— Good to see Bill’s always-fun James Carville impression back. I recently learned that there was supposed to be a James Carville commentary on Update in the then-recent Zooey Deschanel episode, but due to an eye infection causing Bill to have to drop out from appearing on the show that weekend, the intended James Carville commentary was repurposed as an Arianna Huffington commentary for Nasim.
— I laughed more than I probably should’ve at Bill-as-Carville’s only-mildly-funny explanation for why he refers to his penis as his “Harry Connick Jr.”.
— A huge laugh from Bill’s Carville imitating what his penis looks like.
— I’m a bit surprised this is the first Update commentary Bobby’s Snooki has done in a somewhat long time.
— As I mentioned in previous episode reviews, Bobby’s one of the few people in recent SNL years who can make the hacky “man in drag” trope enjoyable.
— When discussing what the name of Bobby-as-Snooki’s baby might be, I loved Bobby’s Snooki responding to Seth’s “And if it’s a girl?” question by just saying “God help us all” in a deadpan voice.
STARS: ***
DELINQUENT GIRL TEEN GANG
in a movie, delinquent girl (FRA) dances in the street & gets hit by cars
— Those awful “funny” names during the opening title sequence, especially the name Skipper St. Junt (the type of name that’s one of James Anderson’s many horrible trademarks as an SNL writer) are already making me worried about this sketch.
— And here to make me even MORE worried about this sketch is the fact that the main role features Fred in drag. (*groooooaaaaaaan*) I said earlier in this review that Bobby has the ability to overcome the hackiness of the “man in drag” trope. Well, Fred, on the other hand, epitomizes the hackiness of the “man in drag” trope (in his later seasons, at least).
— Not even a mere chuckle from me in response to a dummy of Fred’s body being thrown into the shot after Fred’s character first gets hit by a car off-camera.
— Aaaaaaaaaaand the already-bad Fred-gets-hit-by-a-car-off-camera-followed-by-a-dummy-of-his-body-being-thrown-into-the-shot gag gets repeated over and over as the main joke of this sketch. Not only is this painfully unfunny, but it’s not even the first time SNL used this premise. The premise was previously done in that awful Nascarettes sketch (which was also written by James Anderson, IIRC) from the season 32 Jaime Pressly episode.
— Ugh at that ending with the camera showing a close-up of Fred exaggeratedly saying an angry “Yooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu!” at Bill, a quintessential annoying Fred Armisen moment in these later seasons of his SNL tenure.
STARS: *
AFROS
a couple (ANS) & (KRW) shares large hair & wedding announcement
— First Digital Short we’ve gotten in two whole months, which is a shockingly long gap compared to the frequency these Lonely Island shorts typically appear. Yet another sign that the glory days of the Digital Shorts are sadly far behind us this season.
— WHAT IN THE…??? What am I watching?!? I feel like I should at least give credit for creativity, but the alleged creativity of this short ain’t exactly entertaining me.
— Kenan’s hammily-delivered interjections are providing the only thing close to amusement that I’m getting from this short so far.
— WTF at that “Save the date” reveal?
— A poor excuse for an ending.
— Overall, aside from Kenan, this short was wretched. The Digital Shorts continue to have a depressingly rough season. And, man, this short made for a terrible one-two punch with that Delinquent Girl Teen Gang sketch that preceded this.
STARS: *½
B108 FM
morning deejays Richard (TAK) & Buffalo (BOM) mask pathos with enthusiasm
— Bobby and Taran are fun in these roles.
— So far, the sketch’s humor is nothing particularly great, but it’s passable (especially compared to the two unwatchable segments that preceded this), and is helped by the non-Lindsay performers. (Lindsay’s not awful here, but she’s not adding anything for me.)
STARS: ***
CHANTIX
Rerun from 1/7/12
HOUSE SITTING
the mysterious phone calls terrorizing (KRW) are coming from her own butt
— When a neckbrace-wearing Kristen explains to Lindsay what happened to her neck, I kinda like the fake-out with her initially asking “You know what Wesson Oil is?”, and then saying “Yeah, I was on my way to buy some and I got hit by a car.”
— OH, NO. After an upswing (as mild as it was) that the dire quality of this episode’s post-Weekend Update half took with the B108 FM sketch and even the Chantix rerun, it looks like we’re back to awfulness, as Kristen’s tense, suspenseful phone calls throughout this sketch aren’t remotely funny, and are annoyingly repetitive, not helped by how irritating Kristen’s intentional mock-dramatic overacting is.
— A lame butt-dialing reveal.
— Ugh, terrible ending, and something about the execution of it seemed off.
STARS: *
VERIZON
Another repeated commercial (this time from 2/11/12), and so soon after the first repeated commercial tonight? Man, between how horrible most of the last few sketches/shorts have been, and now all of these repeated commercials, this episode has fallen off a cliff HARD in the post-Weekend Update half.
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Sixteen Saltines”
RUDE BUDDHA!
Rude Buddha (ANS) insults & harasses his disciples behind their backs
— Ah, good ol’ Andy, here to hopefully save the dire back half of this episode with his reliable goofiness. (Then again, he was responsible for that dreadful Digital Short earlier tonight, so…)
— Okay, even though I’m still enjoying Andy’s performance here, it turns out that the material of this sketch itself is kind of a wash. Just generic, cliched, ho-hum, “guy acts like an immature jackass” humor, but luckily for SNL, Andy is good at pulling that kind of humor off. In hindsight, knowing this ends up being Andy’s final season, I kinda see certain things about this sketch as a sign that Andy’s on his way out at SNL.
— The “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” ending had me howling.
STARS: ***
70’S ALBUM
Weird Guy By A Fire (JAS) yearns for a collection of music from the ’70s
— Hilarious fake-out with Jason, in the setting of a typical “person advertises an album of musical hits from a past decade” commercial, asking us “Wouldn’t it be great to get songs from the 70s on one 8-disc set?”, and then he just turns away from the camera and casually tends to the fire in his fireplace for a long time, before turning back to the camera and simply asking us, “That’d be great, right?”
— A funny “This has been a weird guy by a fire” ending title reveal. Rather Jack Handey-ish, which I love.
STARS: ****
70’S ALBUM
Weird Guy By A Fire burns his hand when the fireplace flares up
— Ooooookay, so a follow-up to the first 70s Album ad is airing IMMEDIATELY after it, with nothing separating them (not even a real-life commercial break, like what separated Kristen’s first two Glenda Okones For Mayor ads from this season’s Daniel Radcliffe episode)??? Apparently, that wasn’t originally planned, judging by the fact that a simple black screen with the words “70s Album #2” (which was apparently some kind of cue screen for the crew in SNL’s control room) accidentally flashes onscreen for a nanosecond right before this second 70s Album ad plays. Judging from this sloppiness, SNL must be scrambling to fill extra airtime at this point of the show. (I think I recall hearing that these two 70s Album ads originally got cut after dress rehearsal from a then-recent episode.)
— Jason, to us: “Remember that thing I was saying about the 70s music?” Uh, of course we remember, because we literally saw the first 70s Album ad just a few seconds ago. Yeah, more and more, it’s becoming clear that SNL intended these two ads to be separated farther apart in the show. A shame they had to bunch these two ads together in a last-minute mad rush to fill in extra airtime.
— Another funny ending title reveal (“This has been that same guy burning his hand”) after Jason’s reaction to burning his hand (which was funny in itself).
— This overall second 70s Album ad was somewhat marred by it being aired right after the first one, but it still worked well enough for me. I’ve never seen the rerun version of this episode, and I’m a little curious if SNL altered the lineup in it by placing the two 70s Album ads farther apart than they aired in the live show. Thanks in advance if anyone answers.
STARS: ***½
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— The first half of this episode was fine, aside from the monologue, but man, did that post-Weekend Update half have a lot of big problems. Even the sloppiness of SNL airing those two funny 70s Album ads back-to-back instead of spread apart like they were intended to added to the very “off” feel of the post-Update half. (That, combined with SNL airing two repeated commercials fairly close together in the back half, makes me wonder if something went wrong at the show that threw the episode’s scheduled timing off.) Thinking back, the post-Update half actually had as many (if not more than) good segments as it had bad segments, but 1) most of the good segments were nothing special at all and didn’t rise above an average level, and 2) all of the bad segments were so bad that they overshadow the good in that half of the show. Some of the worst segments of this entire season aired in the back half of this episode. As a host, Lindsay Lohan had a really rough go in the Scared Straight sketch, but otherwise, she didn’t hurt this episode. However, she didn’t help it either, and I didn’t get a single laugh from her all night, aside from her “And I’m Lindsay Lohan” reveal in the aforementioned Scared Straight sketch. (Then again, it’s not like she was known to be a laugh riot in her previous hosting stints either.)
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
70’s Album (Part 1)
The Real Housewives Of Disney
2012 Psychic Awards
70’s Album (Part 2)
Weekend Update
Fox Report w/ Shepard Smith
B108 FM
Scared Straight
Rude Buddha!
Monologue
Afros
House Sitting
Delinquent Girl Teen Gang
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Maya Rudolph)
a big step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Jonah Hill