Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
PRESS CONFERENCE
uneasy Newt Gingrich (CHF) meets the press with lesbian half-sister (MAM)
— Considering what season we’re in, I can already tell the lesbian premise probably won’t be handled well.
— This sketch feels really dead so far. Gingrich’s downplaying of his relation to his lesbian half-sister isn’t providing many laughs at all.
— That’s it? The cold opening’s over already? Well, this was a whole lot of nothing.
STARS: *½
MONOLOGUE
audience members ask non-expert host questions about their relationships
— I recall once hearing that during the week of this episode, Paul Reiser was interviewed on Letterman, and when asked about hosting SNL that weekend, Paul responded “Yeah, well, I always wanted to know what it’s like to be on a sinking ship”, acknowledging the notorious year SNL’s been having.
— Oof, this lame cab-hailing routine of Paul’s is getting this monologue off to a really rough start, and reminds me of how much I’ve always hated Paul’s stand-up comedy.
— Ugh, the St. Patrick’s Day/drunk kids bit he’s doing now isn’t any better.
— After a year-long absence, we suddenly get a comeback of season 19’s extremely overused questions-from-the-audience monologue trope. I don’t know whether to groan at the return of this or count my blessings that Paul’s awful stand-up comedy has gotten cut short for this.
— Unfortunately, the questions-from-the-audience bit isn’t helping the humor here at all.
— At the very end when the SNL Band is playing the show to commercial after Paul concludes the monologue, Molly accidentally enters the shot when getting ready to head backstage, before realizing her mistake and nervously ducking back out of the shot. I’ll chalk that gaffe up to a case of new cast member greenness.
STARS: *
THE DAILY PLANET
with Superman out of action, lesser superheroes address incoming meteor
— I’m a minute into this sketch so far, and I haven’t got a single laugh.
— Yeah, I’m now a little further into this sketch, and I don’t have any idea what to say about this dull, laughless tripe, nor do I have any idea what the comedic through line is even supposed to be.
— Not even a rare season 20 Norm sketch appearance is doing anything for this.
— Laura’s long-winded rant about Farley’s Tic-Tac-sized brain feels like something that would normally have been given to the recently-quit Janeane Garofalo. Laura’s delivery of the rant was okay at first and I really wanted to laugh at it, but she seemed to lose her confidence towards the end and concluded it kinda awkwardly.
— Oh, god, not another fucking newspaper headline ending. I got my fill of those in the Deion Sanders episode, thank you very much.
STARS: *
ROAD TO THE FINAL FOUR
(host) & (KEN) pretend to like women’s basketball
— I’ve been hearing the term “rebuilding year” being used a lot these last few episodes. Trying to tell us something, SNL?
— Much like my complaint about the similar Dick Vitale “women’s basketball isn’t a real sport!” bit in the Espy Awards sketch from the Deion Sanders episode, this sketch is not only painfully unfunny, but insulting and sexist too. A very unlikable tone to this sketch, and it really shows the toxic attitudes of the behind-the-scenes Boys Club at SNL this season.
— Poor Kevin Nealon, having to be dragged into this trash. I said it before, and I’ll say it again: why, oh, why couldn’t you have left with Phil last season, Kevin?
STARS: *
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “No More I Love Yous”
WEEKEND UPDATE
Jeff Foxworthy (DAS) gives tips on how to tell if you’re a tornado
Frank Dippy (ADS) & Hank Doodle (CHF) fail to give their viewpoints
— Oh, Norm, you are my only hope in this episode.
— David-as-Jeff-Foxworthy’s “You might be a tornado” routine kinda made me chuckle during the first few jokes, but it’s fizzled out FAST. At least David’s not half-assing this one QUITE as much as I recall him half-assing the second Jeff Foxworthy commentary he does later this season.
— Every time I’ve seen this episode, I always hate the Point/Counterpoint commentary from Farley and Sandler, which, to me, epitomizes the free rein those two performers are given way too much of at this late stage of their tenures.
— Norm’s joke about Michael Jordan’s baseball nickname being Senor Crappy has always been one of my favorite Norm Update jokes of all time.
STARS: ***½
SPARKLEBRITE
Sparklebrite toothpaste commercial prominently features interracial kiss
— What is with this season and miserable sketches dealing with ad execs pitching a commercial in a boardroom meeting? Nutriffic and now this tripe.
— I called the Road To The Final Four sketch earlier tonight insulting and sexist, but when it comes to being offensive, THIS sketch about the “uncomfortable” nature of an interracial kiss takes the cake.
— Another sketch tonight that hurts like hell to see Kevin heavily involved in. Put this, Road To The Final Four, Uncle Joe, and Gay Stripper Theater on the list of most embarrassing sketches that Kevin Nealon ever had a prominent role in. There may be a sketch or two I’m forgetting from this season.
— I’ve heard some people describe the “You’ll never go back… to other toothpastes” tagline as clever, but I’ve always found that joke groanworthy.
— Jay mentions in his SNL book that he was so zoned-out during this sketch that, at one point, he was worried that he may have forgotten to deliver a line earlier in the sketch, only for the sketch to end and him to realize that he didn’t even have any lines in this. Neither does Laura, for that matter. Why even have them there, then?
— Aaaaaand there goes the stock footage ending with Reiser and Elliott being murdered via exploding car, simply because they had the “gall” to pitch a commercial with an interracial kiss. A fitting insulting capper to this unbelievably insulting and unfunny sketch. A new low for SNL.
STARS: *
DAILY AFFIRMATION WITH STUART SMALLEY
Stuart tries to help his drunk cameraman (CHF)
— Probably the longest gap between Stuart Smalley installments since the character debuted. The last time this character appeared was way back in the second episode of this season.
— The premise of this installment kinda has shades of Margot Kidder’s season 4 monologue, right down to repeating the gag of the camera slumping down to the feet of someone who’s speaking to the camera. I wonder if Al Franken was the writer behind that Kidder monologue.
— Ho-hum, Farley playing yet another loud, hammy, boorish role. What else is new for season 20?
— One of the more forgotten Stuart Smalley installments, and for good reason. This is a lesser Stuart Smalley installment, and in my opinion, easily the weakest one. It’s a damn sad day when not even the usually-reliable Stuart Smalley sketches can be depended upon in tonight’s disastrous episode.
STARS: **
DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
ALIENS 4: MAD ABOUT YOU ALIENS
(host) enjoys life with his xenomorph wife
— The premise itself probably isn’t all that bad, but the execution of it is PURE DEATH. Awful. The writers didn’t even try with this.
— Even something about the “Mad About You Aliens” title seems lame and half-assed.
— The bit with Jay fell completely flat.
STARS: *
DATING IN THE NINETIES
host mistakenly labeled as sexually inexperienced
— Molly has only been in the cast for two episodes so far, and it feels like she’s already had a more visible presence than both Laura and the recently-quit Janeane Garofalo have had most of the season so far. Molly has also been displaying a nice enthusiasm and likability in her performances that’s a breath of fresh air in this season’s mess of a cast.
— (*sigh*) Lord help me. Yet ANOTHER sketch tonight that is absolutely dead. My god, tonight’s episode is the sketch comedy equivalent of a fucking funeral dirge.
— God bless Norm (making his second rare season 20 sketch appearance of the night), who’s given me my ONLY laugh of this sketch so far.
STARS: *½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Train In Vain”
ONE BROTHER
at the One Brother Restaurant, (host) explains oddly-named menu items
— Oh, FUCK OFF, tonight’s episode. Just fuck off. At this point, you’re TRYING to insult my intelligence.
— On an SNL messageboard, I recall seeing someone once describe this sketch as being like an unfunny version of the Abbott & Costello “Who’s On First” routine.
— Just to further prove my earlier point about what a messy mishmash of a cast this season has, we have Michael McKean, Chris Farley, Mark McKinney, and Kevin Nealon all seated together in this sketch. It’s so hard to believe all four of those performers were ever in the cast together.
— Why in the world did they have to shoehorn in Farley’s “Aww, I’m an idiot!” routine? It felt very out of place in this sketch, and just further shows how one-note Farley has gotten this season.
STARS: *
O’CALLAHAN & SON
O’Callahan (MMK) & Son (JAM) Pub owners berate wimpy beverage choices
— Well, at least this is a sketch that has a backstory that’s interesting, though pathetic: in a move of utter desperation after not getting anything on the air in a good while, Jay pitched a sketch that he stole, word-for-word, from a comedy routine that he saw stand-up comedian Rick Shapiro do, involving Irish bartenders berating the drinking choice of customers. Sometime shortly after tonight’s episode originally aired, SNL would get busted by Shapiro on their plagiarism, but when asked about it by Lorne, Jay denied knowing anything about Shapiro’s stand-up routine. SNL would get sued by Shapiro, and as a result, this sketch would be removed from all reruns and be replaced with a cut-after-dress Bruce McCulloch short film titled Eraserhead.
— Man, if Jay was going to steal a stand-up comedy routine, couldn’t it have been a FUNNY one? This sketch is pure blah. Plagiarism is shameful either way, but Jay should be particularly ashamed that he had to resort to plagiarizing such weak material for a sketch. Then again, I’ve never seen Rick Shapiro perform this in his stand-up. Maybe this material is funnier as a stand-up routine than as a sketch.
— Wow, is this Tim’s FIRST appearance all night, just playing a small walk-on straight man role in the final sketch of the episode? Okay, he was in the Sparklebright thing earlier (*shudder*), but his appearance in that was pre-taped.
— Farley, on the other hand, has appeared in practically EVERY SINGLE sketch tonight. And surprise surprise, he’s playing a loud character in this sketch. Oh, how new.
STARS: *½
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Just three words: Lord. Have. Mercy.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (George Clooney)
a big step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Our annual John Goodman episode, this time with special guest star Dan Aykroyd