Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
COLD OPENING
musical guest & other artists sing to protest Michael Jordan’s retirement
— These We Are the World-esque sketches this era does are always a winner.
— There’s something I like about the fact that this era’s We Are the World-esque sketches never display a name graphic revealing which singer each cast member is playing. It’s fun to instead try to guess which singer they’re playing.
— I like how each singer is singing a modified version of a hit song of theirs.
— Mike and new SNL writer Norm Macdonald are really fun as The Proclaimers.
— Ellen as Dr. Dre?!? That is giving me a weird laugh, though.
— Adam’s Eddie Vedder is spot-on and very funny.
— New SNL writers Jay Mohr and Sarah Silverman (both making their very first onscreen SNL appearance) appear in this as Billy Idol and Natalie Merchant, respectively, but have no actual lines and are presumably just there to make the group of singers look more complete.
STARS: ****½
OPENING MONTAGE
— Writers Norm Macdonald and Jay Mohr have officially been added to the cast as featured players.
MONOLOGUE
Laura Dern [real] & other audience members think Jurassic Park was real
— Uh-oh, here comes the first of WAY too many questions-from-the-audience monologues this season, where audience members all ask the same question as each other.
— Jim Downey’s question is making me laugh, mostly because of his delivery.
— After Downey’s bit, Norm also made me laugh with his delivery.
— I like Jeff initially responding to Laura Dern’s idiotic question with a dumbfounded long silent pause, then deciding to play along by giving her a false answer.
— Overall, considering this is only the first “audience members take turns asking the same dumb question” monologue this season, this came off kinda charming and fairly fun. Unfortunately, I’m aware of how quickly tired and frustrating this type of monologue will increasingly become over the course of this season.
STARS: ***
NERF CROTCH BAT
— Rerun from 5/8/93
SUBWAY MUSICIAN
subway musician’s (ROS) lyrics contradict what he says while not playing
— A pretty good laugh from Rob denying claims that he’s accepting money from passersby, by explaining he just so happens to keep his change in his open guitar case.
— I love Rob’s ridiculous deep singing voice. Sounds very different from his normal speaking voice.
— Very funny escalation to this, with Rob constantly following up his claims that he’s not a beggar by singing increasingly specific lyrics that make it seem like he wants Jeff to give him money. I’m also getting good laughs from Rob’s various justifications for why he’s singing those kinds of lyrics.
— I really like the ending with Rob’s violent lyrics towards fellow subway musician Adam.
STARS: ****
WAVE STARTER
at a baseball game, wave-starter (host) feels fans don’t appreciate him
— A simple premise, but Jeff is selling this role well and is making the sketch work.
— Funny reactions from Phil to the inane things Jeff is telling him.
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Cryin'”
WEEKEND UPDATE
ELC suggests she could find Aidid- foreign men are attracted to her
NOM figures that the worst thing about going to prison is anal rape
— Kevin’s Where’s Waldo-esque Where’s Aidid bit was pretty funny.
— Ellen’s overall commentary did not work for me, though her pizza delivery man comment kinda made me laugh.
— When introducing Norm Macdonald’s commentary, Kevin’s bad penchant for flubbing lines on Weekend Update is on full display, as he bungles his Norm intro so badly that he actually has to stop in the middle of it, apologize to us, and then repeat the whole intro all over again. When he finally gets through it, he tells Norm “Sorry, Norm”, which made me (and Norm) kinda laugh. There’s something kinda symbolic about Kevin badly flubbing his intro to Norm’s debut, considering Kevin’s constant flubs is just one of several frustrating things about this season of Update that make Norm replacing him as anchorperson next season a breath of fresh air.
— As always during this SNL project of mine, it feels exciting to see a showcase for a new cast member, especially when I’ve gotten so used to the already-existing cast I’m reviewing.
— A huge laugh from Norm revealing that the worst thing about prison is “the, uh… you know, the, uh… anal rape.” I also love the audience laughter after that reveal.
— You can tell Norm’s commentary is from his stand-up, and it feels a bit odd as an Update commentary, but it’s an absolutely hilarious piece. I especially love him acting out an entire conversation between two prison mates.
— Overall, Norm’s piece was a riot and I cannot think of a more perfect way for SNL to introduce him and his brand of humor to us.
— We get our first of many Menendez Brothers references this season, and Kevin’s joke about them just now was hilarious.
— Some really strong jokes from Kevin in general towards the end of this Update.
— Tim had an Update commentary cut after this episode’s dress rehearsal, in which he talks about Michael Jordan and compares him to all the great white players in the NBA. The commentary ends in a meta fashion with Tim telling Kevin he’s just happy to get some airtime.
STARS: ***½
BAD DANCER
other club patrons make (host) feel self-conscious about his bad dancing
— I like the turn with the club band actually stopping their music during Jeff’s bad dancing, and the guitarist of the band (Mike Myers) actually approaching Jeff to ask if the band is playing wrong.
— Weird how this is the second sketch tonight with somebody accusing a Jeff Goldblum character of being paranoid by thinking everybody’s actions are directed toward him, after Rob made those claims about him in the Subway Musician sketch.
— I’m enjoying the growing absurdity of this sketch, with several club members now wearing masks of Jeff’s face.
— This sketch died really badly towards the end. The Aerosmith bit fell completely flat, and then afterwards, the sketch ended on a sour note.
STARS: **½
KARL’S VIDEO
host rents a porno from name-dropping video store owner Karl (DAS)
— I’m loving David’s performance as this character. He’s very solid here.
— David’s constant defensive “I’m not gonna do anything with it” whenever he reveals he has certain celebrities’ phone numbers/credit card numbers/etc. are cracking me up.
— A big laugh from David talking about how Bob Saget is a frequent customer and a “big porn freak”. That’s also funny in hindsight, considering they later end up bringing this sketch back (with much less successful results) when Bob Saget himself hosts next season, and he appears as himself in it (yet he and David’s character act like they’ve never met before… so much for continuity).
— Ellen’s real-life daughter Akeyla steals the sketch with her “Mom, is he a pervert?” line.
— I loved the line from David about Gabe Kaplan: “Good guy… rents Faces Of Death… kinda weird.”
— Very funny brief walk-on from Chris.
STARS: ****
GARAGE SALE
at a garage sale, (host) & other neighborhood adults mock Canteen Boy
— Boy, I’m not caring for this sketch at all so far, and the guys’ constant teasing of Canteen Boy not only isn’t getting any laughs, but has a particularly unpleasant, mean-spirited vibe that signifies the crass, nasty tone that will often plague SNL both this and (especially) next season. And it hurts seeing Phil being wasted in a weak role like this; an early example of how poorly utilized he’ll often be this season.
— No idea what to think about the very random brief close-up of Canteen Boy letting out a bizarre yelp into the camera (the fourth above screencap for this sketch) when Jeff tells him he wants to buy his canteen.
— We surprisingly meet Canteen Boy’s mom (played by Rob in drag), AND we find out what Canteen Boy’s first name is: Alan.
— Adam seems genuinely amused by Rob’s walk-on, as he’s visibly stifling his laughter.
— I guess the nasty, mean-spirited tone of earlier portions of this sketch is supposed to be vindicated by the fact that Canteen Boy gets revenge on his tormentors in the end, but that still didn’t work for me. And WTF was with that “He who laughs last” ending?
STARS: *½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Sweet Emotion”
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN’S CELEBRITY PSYCHIC FRIENDS NETWORK
Christopher Walken (JAM) & Celebrity Psychic Friends want to visit you
— New cast member Jay Mohr’s Christopher Walken impression debuts.
— This sketch was actually cut from the preceding episode, and Jay talks about it in one part of his SNL book (titled Gasping For Airtime). According to him, the cut version of this sketch had Shannen Doherty playing Sean Young as one of the guests, dressed in a sexy Catwoman costume. The sketch was cut after dress rehearsal because Doherty started having second thoughts about potentially getting on Sean Young’s bad side, given Young’s notorious reputation at the time. Needless to say, Jay was not pleased at Doherty when he found out, especially since the sketch was supposed to be his big SNL debut. In tonight’s version of the sketch (which replaces Doherty’s Sean Young with David’s Crispin Glover), Sean Young is actually mentioned (and pictured) among several celebrity psychic friends who Jay’s Walken lists off.
— Wow, right out of the gate in this sketch, Jay’s Walken impression is coming off spot-on and is killing me.
— Walken and the guests’ constant silence while waiting for the phone to ring are really funny.
— David’s Crispin Glover impressions is absolutely priceless.
— I can’t help but think the picture they showed of “The guy who attacked Monica Seles” (screencap below) resembles then-recent SNL host Harvey Keitel.
— An overall very strong and memorable sketch, and a very promising start for Jay Mohr.
STARS: ****½
HISTORY’S GREAT OVER-THINKERS
(host) can’t decide which mind should talk
— Very good makeup on Rob, which renders him almost unrecognizable.
— Adam seems really miscast as Orville Wright. That’s one of the problems with SNL increasingly giving the Farley/Sandler/Spade group more and more airtime and focus this season. That group doesn’t have the strong versatility and range the Carvey/Hooks/Lovitz/etc. group before them had.
— I can see what this sketch is going for, but the execution of it is not working AT ALL. Oof.
— Not helping this sketch’s struggles is the fact that you can practically hear a pin drop in the studio during this. The audience is DEAD. That’s something we’re going to have to get used to, as I recall quite a number of really bad sketches this season that have that uncomfortable, notorious, dead atmosphere.
— It’s almost laughable that Rob went through so much extensive makeup for such a short, lousy sketch that had no payoff.
STARS: *
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— An episode with a solid first half, but a wildly inconsistent second half. The second half seriously had a pattern where a really bad or iffy sketch was immediately followed by a great sketch, which was immediately followed by a really bad/iffy sketch, which was immediately followed by a great sketch, and so on. (I recall an online SNL fan once making an interesting point that the wildly inconsistent nature of the second half of this episode is a good microcosm of this season as a whole) And most of the bad/iffy sketches in that half of the show were particularly brutal (Canteen Boy, History’s Great Over-Thinkers). However, the good in this overall episode outweighs the bad, we got a very promising start from the two new cast members, and Jeff Goldblum was a likable host, even if there was a sameness to all his roles, where he basically just played Jeff Goldblum in every single sketch.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Shannen Doherty)
about the same
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
John Malkovich hosts one of my personal favorite episodes of all time