December 9, 1989 – Robert Wagner / Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville (S15 E8)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
George Bush (DAC) talks about Malta conference & avoids waking Dan Quayle

— The gag with Dan Quayle being portrayed by a child finally becomes recurring, after making its debut over a year ago in a Bush/Dukakis debate sketch.
— I’m loving Bush’s lines about Quayle’s various childlike tendencies.
— Some very funny examples from Bush about how his own speech pattern is getting less distinct.
— A big laugh from the passing mention of Bush having a hand gesture coach (which explains A LOT).
— This is the first time where Bush’s “Na gah dah” gets a big reaction from the audience.
— Bush, on the similarities between Quayle and Jesus: “Jesus had to gradually gain acceptance tuh [too]”.
— Great touch with how Bush’s increasingly-indistinct speech pattern has carried over into his delivery of “Live from New York…”, with him pronouncing “Saturday Night” as “Sat’day Ni”.
STARS: ****

MONOLOGUE
(no synopsis available)

— Funny idea of him trying his hand at jokes after being warned that leading men like him should never do jokes.
— Very funny how after his “Siamese twins moving to London” joke “fails” (it actually gets a big laugh), he desperately resorts to breaking out into the song “Chestnuts Roasting On an Open Fire” as a callback to a bit from the beginning of the monologue.
STARS: ***½

YARD-A-PULT
— Rerun

MATT STEVERS, MALE NURSE
Stevers (host) suffers workplace gender discrimination

 

— Robert’s “I’m here to shave you” reveal to Jon was hilarious.
— Love the opening credits sequence and theme song.
— An absolutely priceless part with Robert punching out an overly-horny Jan.
— Robert’s tearful “I’m a nurse that happens to be a man; why can’t they accept that?” emotional breakdown is very funny.
— I like Phil increasingly making Robert uncomfortable by going on and on about insults that Robert might hear from others.
— Phil: “You see two women sitting in a room. Which one is smarter?” Robert: “Easy. The one with the smaller breasts.”
STARS: ****

ATTACK OF THE MASTURBATING ZOMBIES
small town battles undead autoerotica

 

— A huge laugh from Dana’s initial reveal of “It’s zombies… and they’re masturbating!” Jan’s exaggerated delivery of “Eeeew!” as a response was perfect as well.
— The scene at the sheriff’s office was great.
— Some good laughs from the seriousness of Nora’s speech about the importance of the zombies’ need to masturbate.
— Good hint that Phil’s sheriff may be one of the zombies.
— I like the line about how Mike’s idea of bombing the town square is his solution to EVERYTHING.
— What was with the uncomfortably long pause when it was Robert’s turn to start speaking again just now? I wonder if they later ended up removing that awkward long pause from reruns.
— Hilarious stock footage of an army of zombies heading to an adult movie theater that’s showing a porno titled “Hanna Does Her Sisters”.
STARS: ****½

TALES OF THE RUNAWAY BOULDER
a big rock visits three separate couples

 

— I’m loving the randomness of this.
— Hilarious how the first scene, titled “Hi Honey I’m Home”, only consisted of Jon entering his house, saying “Hi, honey, I’m home”, and then getting crushed by a giant boulder (represented humorously by a tiny model house set and boulder prop).
— During Robert’s explanation of the pebble scene, I got a big laugh from his reveal that Kevin and Victoria were giants, and then him concernedly asking us “Am I overexplaining this?”
— Priceless ending with Robert getting crushed flat on the floor by a boulder, made even funnier afterwards with the utterly bizarre (and kinda scary-looking) visual of his talking mouth being superimposed over the flat paper figure of himself (last screencap above).
— This absolutely fantastic oddball sketch has a feel that I find quintessential of this late 80s SNL era.
STARS: *****

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Don’t Know Much”

WEEKEND UPDATE

  

— Dennis receives particularly huge and extended applause at the beginning of this Update.
— Loved Dennis’ priceless “bones” joke about Nadia Comaneci and her boyfriend.
— Speaking of Nadia Comaneci, in that picture they showed of her on the news screen, she resembles future cast member Kate McKinnon (first screencap above).
— Good brief segment with Dennis “demonstrating” how to make a Christmas wreath out of old Wonder Bread wrappers.
— Dennis is absolutely on FIRE tonight.
— Hmm, this ended up being the third consecutive Update that had no desk pieces from any guest commentators. Not that Dennis has been needing them lately. He’s been on a hot streak of exceptionally strong Updates.
STARS: ****

A BETTY FORD STRAIGHT ARROW CHRISTMAS
three singers stay drug-free
Binaca’s You Make The Call- Barry Goldwater was confused by the lights

— Great to see Phil’s very funny and dead-on Johnny Cash impression again. Interestingly, the previous time he played him was also in a Betty Ford sketch (the “What’s My Addiction?” gameshow sketch from the Paul Shaffer episode in season 12).
— Hmm, turns out the other celebrity impressions in this, Nora as Liza Minnelli and Jon as David Crosby, were also in the aforementioned What’s My Addiction sketch. I guess tonight’s sketch can be considered a very belated variation/follow-up to it.
— Great part with them pouring a plastic baggie of “powdered sugar” onto the bundt cake.
— A very solid and funny variation of the “12 Days of Christmas” song.
— Jon-as-Crosby’s high-pitched singing voice is priceless.
— A lot of sketches in this era seem to have a “You Make The Call” mid-sketch segment.
— The Binaca slogan gave me a good laugh (last screencap above).
STARS: ****

SLOPPY EATER
in a restaurant, (JAH) discovers that suave (host) is a very sloppy eater

— Very funny turn with Robert’s sudden loud, sloppy chomping of the bread roll after coming off so debonair and sophisticated beforehand.
— Robert is a riot doing other things extremely messily, like drinking from a wine glass, eating steak, and (especially) slurping from a bowl of soup. Jan’s reactions are great as well.
— Solid ending with the bad dancing.
STARS: ****

CHRISTMAS MESSAGE
David Rockefeller (PHH)- “my family is just as evil as the Japanese”

— Already a laugh just from the smug smile that that Phil makes his entrance with.
— Some good laughs from Phil’s David Rockefeller happily bragging about how evil the Rockefeller Empire is. This sketch is a good example of Phil’s knack for using a quietly unsettling delivery when playing creeps like this.
— Rockefeller, on how his father hated everyone: “And if he were alive, he’d hate YOU. *I* do.”
STARS: ***½

IN THE MIDDLE
(JOL) & (DAC) use (host)’s political analysis to do battle

 

— A quintessential Carvey/Lovitz team-up sketch, with the increasingly goofy, childish gloating sounds they keep making at each other. The fact that this is happening during a serious political panel discussion makes it even funnier.
— A particularly hilarious part with Dana sneaking in the gloating sound while “sneezing”.
— The ending with Robert himself doing the gloating sounds and dancing was very funny.
STARS: ****

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “When Something Is Wrong”

SWIVEL CHAIR MYSTERY THEATRE
furniture is used to add dramatic effect

— Promising idea, parodying this common cliche in mystery shows and movies.
— I liked Phil doing a second dramatic chair-turn in the middle of his speech just to reveal the twist that he’s Irish.
— Good random part with Kevin as a sleeping man.
— Speaking of Kevin, this feels like the first time we’ve seen him all night. I’m sure he was in something earlier tonight that I’m forgetting, but this is an unusually light night for him.
— Wow, there’s surprisingly not a peep out of the audience so far. They’re absolutely dead silent during this funny sketch.
— Good part with even the delivery boy entering the room on a back-turned swivel chair.
STARS: ***½

GOODNIGHTS

— Mike Myers looks kinda bummed (seen on the left end of the screencap below).  Maybe he’s upset over the fact that he barely got anything to do tonight, being given nothing but very small roles.

— A nice mention from Don Pardo’s voice-over that not only is the next episode the final SNL of the Al Franken Decade, but that the approaching 1990s will be Pardo’s eighth(!) decade in show business.

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— An outstanding episode. The show was firing on all cylinders, and we got tons of funny and creative original premises that epitomize what I love about this SNL era. There wasn’t a single recurring sketch in the bunch tonight; just a night full of strong one-off premises that featured the type of comedy that caters to my tastes. There was nothing I found weak in this episode, and almost every single sketch received an impressive four-star rating.

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (John Goodman)
a slight step up

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
The 1980s come to an end. Andie MacDowell hosts the final episode of the decade.