Tag: 2002-03

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January 18, 2003 – Ray Liotta / The Donnas (S28 E10)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESS CONFERENCE
Donald Rumsfeld (DAH) says “These Boots Are Made For Walkin'” over Iraq

— I almost thought that was the no-longer-on-the-show Ana Gasteyer doing the opening voice-over.
— Some laughs from Darrell’s Donald Rumsfeld gradually breaking into a speak-singing of “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’” during his answers to the press’s questions.
— A decent musical number at the end, but not comedic.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
when host is “Getting To Know You,” expect a mix of amicability & menace

— I’m enjoying the subtly unsettling psychotic aspect of Ray Liotta’s cheery attitude.
— A funny visual of Tracy and Kattan quickly bolting away when Ray goes over to greet them.
— Fun part with Ray going up to the audience in the balcony seats.
— I love the tense turn with Ray sternly telling one audience member (SNL writer Leo Allen) not to interrupt his friendly exchange with another audience member (SNL writer Emily Spivey).
STARS: ***½


LIVE WITH REGIS & KELLY
Regis Philbin (DAH) and Kelly Ripa (AMP)’s rapport is poor; David Caruso (host)

— Our very first of several Regis & Kelly sketches with Darrell and Amy.
— At the beginning, you can unintentionally see the device that the fake snow in the background window is coming from.
— The way Amy and Darrell play off of each other as Regis and Kelly is fun. It’s also nice to see a rare display of Darrell having strong chemistry with one of the newer people in the cast.
— Oh, god, and here’s my least favorite aspect of these Regis & Kelly sketches: a stereotypically gay Gelman, played by, who else? KATTAN.
— Some pretty good laughs during the interview with Ray as David Caruso.
STARS: ***½


THE FUN FRIEND CLUB
onset of puberty has made chesty (RAD) unsuitable for cast of kids show

— A wild premise, and there are so many laughs from Rachel’s innocent, jolly child character’s incongruously big chest bouncing up and down during the dance sequences. Ray also has a good freaked-out reaction at one point, angrily saying “It’s like Girls Gone Wild over here!”
— Rachel’s playing her character’s innocent cluelessness really well. There’s been quite a number of strong Rachel Dratch-starring sketches this season, and this is yet another one.
— A horrible ending to an otherwise very strong sketch.
STARS: ****½


THE FALCONER
Donald attends a frat party while The Falconer is trapped under a log

— This great sketch has officially become recurring.
— I’m surprised to see that tonight’s Falconer installment is still using the original, longer version of the opening title sequence, as I thought it was only used in the first installment of this sketch. As I pointed out in my review of the first installment, the rerun version that I reviewed of that installment replaces the original, longer opening title sequence with the truncated version that’s used in most of the subsequent installments. And as I also pointed out in my review of the first installment, the voice-over in the original, longer opening title sequence doesn’t say at one point, in regards to Will’s Ken Mortimer character, “Then, for reasons known only to him, he left his wife and career, and moved deep into the forest”, and it instead goes into a bit of detail of why he left his wife and career, which includes a photo of  him looking into a mysterious package at home (screencap below).

— I love Will-as-The-Falconer’s scream of “MY LIFE HANGS IN THE BALAAAAANCE!”
— Funny montage of Donald the Falcon partying with wild sorority girls.
— Odd seeing Rachel flashing her breasts (censored, of course), given the sketch that preceded this.
— I love Donald the Falcon suggesting that The Falconer, who is trapped under a log, cut his leg off with the saw that Donald had just given him.
STARS: ****½


STRAIGHT TALK
Global Century Investments representative (CHP) is upfront about deceit

— Hilarious how Parnell is flat-out admitting crooked things about himself and his company, in a very professional, affable manner. Parnell is so perfect for this.
— I absolutely love the tone and humor of this smart piece. Very much a quintessential example of Jim Downey’s wit as a writer.
— Very funny speech from Amy casually admitting to Parnell that she originally came here to kill him, but has become impressed by his straight talk.
— A solid back-and-forth between Parnell and Jimmy at the end.
— This great pre-taped piece ends up being Parnell’s only appearance all night. He makes no live appearances at all in this episode.
STARS: ****½


HANNIBAL
Hannibal Lecter (DAH) & Paul (host) open an eat-your-own-brain restaurant

— Darrell has surprisingly been getting a lot of great airtime tonight. A huge turnaround from how little he appeared in the last few episodes.
— Ray’s forehead/brain make-up looks eerily convincing.
— A solid and committed performance from Ray as he’s expressing how much he loves the taste of his own brain.
— Interesting how this has suddenly turned into an Access Hollywood spoof, kinda giving this sketch an epic, movie-like feel that’s reminiscent of some of SNL’s long, epic sketches from seasons 4 and 5.
— Odd, though, how this is the second episode in a row to have an Access Hollywood spoof, and SNL even shows some continuity with that by having Jimmy’s Pat O’Brien do a follow-up to his “I don’t breathe through my nose ever” opening line from the last episode.
— Dean’s Wayne Brady impression is very spot-on and funny. This reminds me that SNL kept attempting to get a sketch on the air around this time, spoofing Wayne Brady’s talk show, but it never made it past dress rehearsal.
STARS: ***


WEEKEND UPDATE
if elected president, Tim Calhoun will champion some peculiar policies

for his own sake, TRM asks Condoleezza Rice to defend affirmative action

Weekend Update Joke Off- JIF & TIF riff on concept of a naked airline

— Jimmy’s AOL joke, in which he just says “Welcome. You got fired” while a photo of a particular man in shown, hasn’t aged well at all, because, even though I certainly get the “Welcome. You’ve got mail” soundbyte reference, I have no memory of who the man in the photo is (the second above screencap for this Weekend Update), nor what topical story this is referencing.
— Tina sure ruined her Madonna joke by badly flubbing it, but she saved herself with a good ad-lib.
— Our second instance tonight of a Will Forte character officially becoming recurring: Tim Calhoun. Man, Will is on fire tonight.
— Tim Calhoun: “I propose a little more California, and a little less Mexico.”
— Tim Calhoun: “Horsey sex is bad. I wanna make a law against that. Horseys are for riding.”
— Tim Calhoun: “Blind people think they’re sooo cool.”
— Believe it or not, tonight’s overall Tim Calhoun commentary was the first guest commentary that I’ve liked on Update since the first Tim Calhoun commentary from all the way back in the THIRD EPISODE OF THIS SEASON. I kid you not, folks. SNL really did go THAT long without a single good guest commentary on Update (in my opinion, at least), which just goes to show you what a huge step down Update has taken in quality this season.
— Quite a number of bad jokes from Tina tonight.
— Tracy’s outfit is hilarious.
— Tracy points out how he isn’t in any actual sketches this week, which is true (this Update commentary and his brief non-speaking appearance in the monologue are the only things he does tonight). The fact that Tracy is treating his exclusion from sketches tonight as a rare thing and, at one point here, even calls himself “The star of the show”, just shows you how far he’s come along in airtime this season, as him being excluded from sketches used to be all too common in his earlier seasons. By the way, there seems to be quite a number of cast members tonight with little-to-nothing to do: Tracy’s not in any actual sketches, Parnell’s only appearance was in a pre-taped commercial (as I pointed out earlier), and both Jeff and Horatio are completely absent in this entire episode (I’d like to think the latter was shut out of tonight’s show as punishment for his and Jimmy’s Aquarium Repairmen debacle from the last episode, but I know that’s not the case).
— A good laugh from Tracy breaking into a tender singing of “Remember The Time” when directing a loving message towards Condoleezza Rice.
— Tracy’s overall commentary certainly made me laugh, but I dunno, something about it felt below par for his standards. He seemed to be kinda coasting, and this commentary had the feel of SNL just throwing Tracy out there just for the sake of giving him something to do tonight.
— After Tina screwed up a joke earlier tonight and then saved herself with a good ad-lib, Jimmy himself flubs a joke just now, but tries way too hard in his attempt to save himself with an ad-lib.
— Ah, the return of the fun Weekend Update Joke Off segment, this time about an airline containing naked passengers.
— Tonight’s weekly end-of-Update walk-on from SNL writer Eric Slovin has him dressed as a burglar and stealing Jimmy’s pencil right out of his hand. I’m loving this new random running gag at the end of every Update.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Take It Off”


THE HANGMAN
to The Hangman (host), frontier justice requires sex with a grandma (RAD)

— Will’s big night continues, as he now appears in yet ANOTHER big role. Great to see things coming along so well for him so early into his SNL tenure.
— Funny how Rachel has played an adolescent girl and now a very elderly lady in the same episode. That’s nice range.
— A good laugh from Ray revealing he wants to work out a deal where he gets to have sex with Will’s grandmother.
— Amy being way too willing to sleep with Ray AND his buddies without even being asked is very funny.
— Great mock-dramatic delivery from Amy of the line “I am not gonna ask my grandma to bone The Hangman!”
STARS: ***½


TOP O’ THE MORNING
Gangs Of New York fires passions of Patrick & William

— This has officially become recurring. Unlike the Forte stuff that’s become recurring tonight, I’m not excited at all about the return of this Mike Myers pastiche.
— A laugh from Jimmy and Seth advertising Jamison’s Irish Whiskey as medicine.
— Good meta part with Jimmy and Seth looking at each other with guilty facial expressions after Jimmy’s character angrily asks, when complaining about the unconvincing Irish accents in the then-new movie Gangs Of New York, “Who wants to see a bunch of Americans do their best impression of Lucky Charms guy?”
— Why the hell can Jimmy never keep a straight face after punching a hole in the wall in these Top O’ The Morning sketches?
— Man, I swear Jimmy is INTENTIONALLY imitating Mike Myers whenever he and Seth do the “Not here, not now” crying bit. He’s even got Mike’s physical mannerisms down pat.
— Much like John McCain in the first installment of this sketch, this sketch is made a little more watchable by a fun character from Ray.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Who Invited You”


THE RIALTO GRANDE
over-the-hill Vegas lounge comic Buddy Mills (CHK) does his geriatric act

— The debut of Buddy Mills, one of Kattan’s better characters from his later seasons. This is the beginning of what I call The Redemption Of Chris Kattan, as Kattan would go on to do quite a number of solid things in the second half of this final season of his that redeem him from how awful he was in the preceding season and how useless and invisible he was in the first half of this season. That being said, these Buddy Mills sketches follow a VERY strict formula in every single installment, and I worry I’m gonna get tired of it after reviewing two or three installments, especially given how frequently these sketches appear in the second half of this season.
— A funny running gag with the delayed rimshot from Fred’s old drummer character, though that’s something that I’m especially worried I’ll eventually get tired of when it gets repeated in every single subsequent installment of this sketch.
— I love the sounds Kattan’s Buddy Mills makes whenever he laughs (e.g. “Haaaaaa, my prostate, I can’t!”).
— Nice touch with the female cast members each walking by, one-by-one, throughout the sketch as frumpy waitresses.
— Some funny corny banter between Kattan and Ray.
— A huge laugh from Fred doing a delayed rimshot during a dark, emotional conversation between Kattan and Ray.
— Nice ending.
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty solid episode. There was a consistency to most of the episode, there were some really strong segments (especially the one-two-three punch of The Fun Friend Club, The Falconer, and Straight Talk, all of which aired one after another), and the overall show had a vibe to it that I really enjoyed. Ray Liotta was a fun, energetic, and committed host, adding to the enjoyable vibe of this episode. All of this served as a nice rebound from the very lousy, troubled episode we got the preceding week.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jeff Gordon)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Matthew McConaughey

Posted on

January 11, 2003 – Jeff Gordon / Avril Lavigne (S28 E9)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

ADDRESS
Kim Jong Il (HOS) delineates the roots of his irrational behavior

— Our first of quite a number of tedious translator cold opening from this season.
— Kim Jong Il’s listing off of his endless psychological disorders is awfully reminiscent of the Dell Computer Guy commentary on Weekend Update earlier this season. Both that commentary and tonight’s cold opening even use Gender Dysphoria as one of the psychological disorders.
— (*sigh*) I’m two minutes into this, and I’ve barely laughed.
— Blah, most of this cold opening is just an endless, unfunny listing off of psychological disorders and the medications that Jong Il takes.
— Overall, worst cold opening of the season so far.
STARS: *½


MONOLOGUE
in honor of host, Manhattanites (CHP) & (RAD) pretend to be NASCAR fans

— Nice to see Parnell playing a role different from what SNL usually typecasts him as.
— After a somewhat-funny/somewhat-iffy first half, we get a decent reveal that Parnell and Rachel are only acting like rowdy NASCAR fans because they’re New Yorkers who waited a long time to get SNL tickets, and it turned out to be tickets for a Jeff Gordon-hosted episode. Parnell’s dignified voice during this whole reveal is a nice touch.
STARS: **½


JOE HETERO
Joe Hetero (SEM) is the likewise-misnamed follow-up to Joe Millionaire

— A quick and decent Joe Millionaire parody with an amusing reveal, kicking off tonight’s runner.
STARS: ***


BRIAN FELLOW’S SAFARI PLANET
supposedly-armless snake can’t be trusted

— Right out of the gate, Gordon already messes up the first name of his character, but he’s not an actor, so he has an excuse. (What’s DeNiro’s excuse?)
— Very funny threat from Brian Fellow about putting his foot in the snake’s ass and making a boot.
— Horatio as a Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet guest AGAIN, after he was a guest in the last installment of this sketch and performed so lousily in it, being all giggly for no reason?
— Tracy’s even more stumbly with his lines throughout this sketch than Jeff Gordon is.
— A good laugh from Brian Fellow comparing the sheep to Tiger Woods when Brian is confused over the sheep being black or Chinese.
— There goes Horatio’s giggliness again, this time in response to his sheep unexpectedly eating from plants on the set.
— Funny thought bubble of a snake punching Brian Fellow’s mother.
STARS: ***½


ACCESS HOLLYWOOD
Diana Ross (MAR) performs while failing a sobriety test

— Jimmy finally displays his FIRST celebrity impression all season. It’s odd he went this long without doing one, considering how common his impressions used to be and the fact that they’re where his real knack lies.
— Jimmy’s Pat O’Brien impression is okay, but it’s an impression I would eventually go on to get sick of the following season when it gets overused in quite a number of sketches with questionable writing.
— A laugh from Maya’s Diana Ross signing her written sobriety test as “To Dabney Coleman, we’ll always have Aspen, with love, Diana Rose.”
— I like the exchange between the two cops when one of them unintentionally pulls off Diana Ross’ wig: “What should I do with this?” “Cuff it and read it its rights?” That made me laugh more than a lot Maya’s antics in this sketch, which are falling fairly flat with me and (kinda) the studio audience.
STARS: **


JOE CAUCASIAN
Joe Caucasian (TRM) is the latest FOX reality show with a twist

— A huge laugh from Tracy’s bad white make-up and classic one-liner into the camera: “I’mma get all these white chicks pregnant.”
— At the end, the audience seemed confused over whether to applaud or not. I’m getting bad flashbacks to the very unresponsive audience from the Sarah Michelle Gellar episode.
STARS: ****


CAREER DAY
on career day, carpet salesman (SEM) is upstaged by fighter pilot (host)

— Two minutes into this sketch, and I finally get my first real laugh, with one kid yelling during Seth’s presentation “This is so boring!”, and Amy responding to the kid “That is no way to talk to your father!”
— Good ad-lib from Amy after she mistakenly says the awkwardly-worded sentence “I do might like a pair.”
— Overall, blah. This sketch was just as bland as Seth’s carpet salesman character was.
STARS: **


STAR DATES
Gary Busey (JER) embarrasses himself while out with (RAD)

— Dean (in a role where he actually gets more than one measly line) is playing Jordan Black, who, funnily enough, would go on to become an SNL writer the following season, IIRC.
— Yes! The debut of Jeff Richards’ Gary Busey impression! This impression of his is absolutely killer.
— Lots of laughs all throughout this sketch from Richards-as-Busey’s insane, oddball spiels and stories. Or, at least I’m getting a lot of laughs. The studio audience, on the other hand, isn’t giving this sketch the love it deserves.
— Funny sequence with Gordon beating Busey’s ass.
— The “Coming up next on Star Dates” ending scene came off kinda unnecessary and awkwardly executed.
STARS: ****


JOE NOT-A-RAPIST
Joe Not-A-Rapist (CHP) brings deception of potential brides to a new low

— A funny dark premise for this installment of tonight’s Joe Millionaire runner, and Parnell as the rapist gives a great skeevy look into the camera at the end.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I’m With You”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Brigitte Boisselier (AMP) & Rael (CHK) bask in the success of Clonaid

in his head, JIF prematurely gloats about consequences of winning Grammy

prospect of biopic has caused Gay Hitler to go Hollywood

 

— Amy’s mere facial expression at beginning of her and Kattan’s commentary is funny.
— Amy and Kattan’s cloned baby turns out to be the same deformed baby character that Rachel used to play in those Angelina Jolie Update commentaries. Always funny to see that character walk on. However, I wasn’t too crazy about anything else in the overall Amy/Kattan commentary.
— I like the use of a fake brick wall behind Jimmy (held by Tina) during Jimmy’s intentionally corny stand-up-comedian-type joke about discarded Christmas trees.
— A solid out-of-the-ordinary sequence with Jimmy’s inner thoughts regarding being nominated for a Grammy.
— Now this segment with Jimmy’s inner thoughts has gotten even better with the whole bit with Will as Jimmy’s old high school buddy. What’s with the audience member sitting behind him, though? He’s mugging up a storm.
— The Ghostbusters part of Jimmy’s inner thought sequence is particularly funny.
— “The Pink Fuhrer”? Oh, no, does that mean we’re in for another Gay Hitler walk-on?
— Oh, god, it’s even worse than I thought. Kattan’s playing a hybrid of Gay Hitler and that unbelievably god-awful Hollywood character that Kattan once did on Update last season. Jesus Christ. Oh, and by the way, why the hell are we seeing Kattan TWICE on tonight’s Update, doing two completely different commentaries as two completely different characters? Kattan, you ain’t no Tim Kazurinsky.
— A very random but fun little bit at the very end, where, after Jimmy and Tina sign off, instead of Jimmy doing his trademark pencil throw towards the camera (which he blatantly refrained from doing the last few Updates), SNL writer Eric Slovin appears as a Shakespearean actor and takes Jimmy’s pencil away in a case. This would go on to be a running gag for the remainder of this season, with Eric Slovin walking on as a different character each time and taking Jimmy’s pencil away in different ways.
— The long streak of me not caring for any of the guest commentaries on Weekend Update continues, with tonight being the SIXTH consecutive Update that’s happened in. This is getting ridiculous. However, at least the non-commentary portions of tonight’s Update really stepped it up and was easily the best that Update has been all season, feeling like a return to form for Jimmy and Tina. (It doesn’t last, though. In fact, I recall Tina having a particularly weak night in the Update from the very next episode.)
STARS: ***½


AQUARIUM REPAIRMEN
aquarium repairmen (JIF) & (HOS) make stream-of-consciousness wisecracks

— OH. NO. Here comes a very notorious Fallon/Sanz sketch that Jimmy and Horatio would themselves later call “The worst sketch we’ve ever done”.
— Hearing Jimmy speaking in that voice reminds me that a fellow SNL reviewer back in 2003 pointed out in his review of this sketch that Jimmy appeared to be doing an imitation of the voice Christopher Guest used in those “I hate when that happens” sketches that Guest regularly did with Billy Crystal back in season 10.
— Good God, this “Ova heah” routine of Jimmy and Horatio’s is FUCKING TORTURE. Not even the audience is laughing at this crap. I remember saying in my original review of this sketch that this felt like SNL was using a leftover script for a typical bad Chris Farley/Adam Sandler sketch from the 94-95 season. I also remember one or two online SNL fans back in 2003 defending this sketch by saying it seemed to be SNL intentionally doing a self-deprecating spoof of their own bad, one-note, catchphrase-delivering characters. Yeah, I don’t see it. If this was intended as a spoof of bad SNL characters, I feel like SNL would’ve been a lot more wink-wink and obvious in their approach. And even if this sketch was SNL doing a self-deprecating spoof, it’s completely undermined by casting Jimmy and Horatio in the lead roles, who are making this less into an SNL self-deprecating piece and are turning it more into a showcase of the typical self-indulgent jackassery we get whenever those two guys are paired together.
— What the hell was with Amy’s random panicked yell of “My family pictures!” when Jimmy and Horatio frantically bolt out of the house? That line makes no sense to me.
— Aaaaaaand there goes our obligatory Fallon/Sanz giggling meltdown, derailing this already far-gone, disastrous sketch. This is probably the #1 most infamous, notorious example of Fallon/Sanz breaking. And why in the world is Jimmy pulling off his fake mustache during his laughing here? Are he and Horatio just flat-out giving up on this sketch, knowing how far-gone and derailed it’s become?
— Not even Fred’s pants-around-his-ankles mental breakdown is helping this.
— An awful “Gary’s Fish Tanks” reveal at the end.
— My thoughts of this overall sketch as a whole? Two words: fucking oof.
STARS: * (and even that’s being generous)


CHARLIE ROSE
unfocused interview annoys Donald Rumsfeld (DAH)

— Good to see another Jeff Richards celebrity impression showcase tonight, this time getting a full sketch for his solid Charlie Rose impression that we formerly only saw a brief glimpse of in a Mango sketch from the preceding season.
— This is Darrell’s first and ONLY appearance of this episode. I remember it felt to me at the time this sketch originally aired that 1) Darrell making his only appearance of the night in such a late spot in the show was a possible sign that he was on his way out, and 2) this sketch was a possible passing-of-the-torch between impressionist extraordinaires Darrell and Jeff. As we know now, I ended up being dead wrong about BOTH theories. Who would’ve guessed at this time that Jeff would abruptly be gone from the show just a little over a year later, and Darrell would stay until freakin’ 2009?
— Ehh, this sketch is going nowhere. The premise of Darrell’s Donald Rumsfeld constantly getting cut off by Richards’ Charlie Rose throughout the interview has been done to death elsewhere on SNL, and was done better. Oh, and once again tonight, the audience is dead during this sketch.
— Okay, I finally got a laugh, from Rose confusing Rumsfeld for increasingly un-Rumsfeld-like people, like Marv Albert and the Hamburglar, and even that’s just a cheap laugh.
— A weak and cliched ending with Rose declaring “We’re out of time” before he’s even gotten to the question he wanted to ask Rumsfeld, then beginning to talk too much during his sign-off, leading to Rumsfeld angrily walking out.
STARS: *½


JOE DUDE
Joe Dude (TIF) seeks a same-sex marriage on the sly

— This Joe Millionaire runner is kinda getting old, though the reveal of Tina as a woman disguising herself as a male bachelor is worth a laugh, as is her delivery of “I wish I could marry all of you. Damn!”
— There was originally going to be a FIFTH edition of tonight’s Joe Millionaire runner, with Jeff Richards playing “Joe Huge Penis”. It would end up getting cut after dress rehearsal.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Complicated”


THE TERRYE FUNCK HOUR
amateurish show is taped in Terrye Funck (CHP)’s basement

— Once again tonight, it’s nice to see Parnell being cast in a role that’s different from the roles he usually gets typecast in. Also nice to see him so front-and-center here, where he gets to carry most of the sketch in a comedic role.
— Oh, is Jeff Gordon tonight’s SNL host? I’ve been starting to forget that, considering it feels like he’s been absent from half of tonight’s sketches.
— Gordon finally plays a comedic character tonight. His performance here is corny as all hell, but he’s making me laugh.
— There’s not much to this sketch, though I am liking Parnell and Gordon’s performances.
STARS: **½


STRIPPER POLE
liven up your party with the staple of exotic dancing

— Oh my god. The usually extremely underused Dean Edwards in a… CO-STARRING role???
— Boy, this sketch is absolutely flat and a dud. And, ONCE AGAIN tonight, the audience is dead. This has the hollow feel of a bad sketch from one of SNL’s three most notorious seasons (6, 11, and 20).
— Even in a co-starring role, Dean’s not adding anything to this. Hell, not even usual sketch-saver Tracy, or Amy’s skewering of big-boobed bimbos, can save this.
STARS: *


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Man, what a rough episode. While there were some solid highlights, they were extremely outnumbered by a lot of lousy sketches, including one of the worst sketches I’ve ever reviewed in this SNL project of mine (Aquarium Repairmen). The increasingly unresponsive studio audience also didn’t help the feel of tonight’s episode. Overall, definitely one of the weakest episodes I’ve reviewed in a long time.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Al Gore)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Ray Liotta

Posted on

December 14, 2002 – Al Gore / Phish (S28 E8)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

BACKSTAGE
host locks lips with wife Tipper [real] in an extended passionate kiss

— I’m getting some laughs from Al Gore’s panicking over having not seen his wife for over 10 minutes.
— Jimmy and Lorne’s nonchalant reaction to Al and Tipper’s never-ending kiss is pretty funny. This never-ending kiss is also a good spoof of their famous kiss at the 2000 Democratic Convention.
— Feels a little odd to watch this in retrospect, given Al and Tipper’s later divorce.
— Jimmy and Lorne casually mention that Jimmy’s leaving SNL after this season to do a sitcom. This is just a random joke that wasn’t based on any reality (kinda in the vein of a moment in the Cider House Rules cold opening from season 25’s Tobey Maguire episode, when Lorne makes a mention of Jimmy having left SNL to join the cast of Ally McBeal), but I remember this caused some confusion among online SNL fans, who really did wonder if Jimmy’s leaving after this season, and this confusion also led to some interesting online discussion on some of the problems with Jimmy on SNL lately, mainly the fact that he’s inexplicably stopped doing celebrity impressions (he’s gone through the ENTIRE first half of this season without doing a single impression, if you can believe it), which is a shame, as impressions are where his real knack lies.
— Interestingly, Tracy’s walk-on gets some applause from the audience, which shows how far he’s come along on SNL over the course of his tenure, and how much of an asset he’s been to this season.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
host selected running mate Joe Lieberman (CHP) a la The Bachelor

— Al gets a good laugh early on from the “patronizing” bit.
— I had completely forgotten that Seth’s John Kerry impression debuted THIS early. I associate that impression far more with the following two seasons.
— Very funny how Al’s selection of his 2000 election running mate is being presented in the style of The Bachelor. This is being executed very solidly.
— A memorable and funny hot tub scene with Parnell’s Lieberman and Al.
STARS: ****


HARDBALL
Trent Lott (host) delineates his thoughts on segregation

— Amusing to see Al playing Trent Lott in the wake of a controversial racial-related comment Lott had recently made.
— A huge laugh from Al-as-Lott’s “apology” being him clarifying that he meant no disrespect to any white people, and then promising to leave no whites behind as long as he’s in office. Darrell’s Chris Matthews also has a fantastic response to that: “Senator, you’re shedding a lot of light on the situation. Unfortunately, the light’s coming from a cross you just set on fire.”
— Just now, Darrell’s Matthews has exclaimed “Wowie wow wow wow”, ala The Continental. I wonder if that’s an intentional reference.
— Another Tracy Morgan entrance tonight that receives audience applause.
— Hilarious how Tracy’s Al Sharpton explains that he’s so mad, he made words up: “Gorglesnorp, zibbety-zabbety, beep, and boop-boop!”
— I love how Darrell-as-Chris-Matthews’ traditional ending line, “coming up on Hardball”, is delivered more and more unintelligibly with each passing Hardball sketch. Tonight, he literally says it as “dabbadda Hahdbah”.
— Overall, while this doesn’t measure up to the outstanding preceding Hardball sketch from the John McCain episode, this was still very strong, and all the portions with Al’s Trent Lott were gold.
STARS: ****½


FIESTA POLITICA
talk show’s format isn’t a good match for host’s style

 

— The second and final installment of this sketch.
— I remember when this originally aired, this was one of the main sketches responsible for causing a backlash against Maya among quite a number of online SNL fans. Those SNL fans got really sick of Maya this season, especially with the large amount of airtime she suddenly received this season (particularly in the second half of the season) and the type of characters and voices she did this season. Looking back at this sketch now, I’m not quite seeing what’s so bad about her performance, or why it earned the ire of the aforementioned online SNL fans. That being said, this sketch is getting one-note, and it feels unnecessary to have brought back for a second installment. The constant cutaways to Horatio are ESPECIALLY getting really old.
— I do at least like the new addition of Fred as “Poco Loco”.
— Okay, yeah, NOW I think I’m starting to see why so many online SNL fans had such a problem with Maya’s performance in this sketch. Her strained laughing-while-speaking voice whenever she says “Oh, Poco Loco, you are so funny!” is quite irritating.
— Funny close-up of an awkward Al Gore and the chihuahua being held next to his face, with Al being forced to say “I love you” to the chihuahua.
STARS: **


THE WEST WING SET
host makes himself at home on Oval Office set of The West Wing

— I like how Al introduces this from the set of the Fiesta Politica sketch, immediately after that sketch has ended. Kinda gives this intro the feel of something from SNL’s early days.
— This short film is a nice out-of-the-ordinary segment for this era of SNL, and it’s cool how this is involving the actual West Wing cast.
— Great laughs from Al milking his stay in the West Wing’s oval office set for as long as he possibly can while pretending he’s president.
— Al’s odd requests to the West Wing actors are very funny, as are the West Wing actors’ reactions.
— I love the ending with the lights on the set turning off as Al remains happily sitting back in the Oval Office desk chair.
STARS: ****½


JARRET’S ROOM
professor (host) thinks musical guest sets a bad example

— The preceding West Wing short film has put the audience in such a good mood that their applause from the end of that film transitions into wild, infectious cheers when this Jarret’s Room sketch shows up immediately afterwards.
— Didn’t SNL just do a Jarret’s Room sketch TWO EPISODES AGO? That being said, it’s understandable why this sketch is appearing tonight, considering how established it is that Jarret and Gobi are big fans of Phish, who happen to be tonight’s musical guest. Still, I remember it was known at the time of the preceding installment of this sketch that Phish was going to be the musical guest for the Christmas episode, so SNL should’ve just waited until tonight’s episode to do this sketch.
— Here’s our obligatory Phish walk-on.
— This is having a very “Wayne’s World Meets Aerosmith” vibe to it, even if this is obviously nowhere near as classic as THAT.
— A good laugh from Gobi mistaking Trey Anastasio for Chuck Norris when recalling Anastasio running him over with a van.
— Horatio’s usual Gobi characterization and giggliness seems more toned down tonight, which is a relief.
— Al telling Phish “Get a job, you damn, dirty hippies!” is pretty funny, as is him warning us that Phish is what you turn into when you slack off in college.
— And now we get Phish and Gobi performing a musical number together. Yep, SNL is definitely going for another “Wayne’s World Meets Aerosmith” with this sketch. While this, again, is nowhere near as classic, I certainly won’t deny that this is fun, and is helping make this one of the better Jarret’s Room installments.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “46 Days”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Moonlight Bunny Ranch brothel workers (RAD) & (AMP) talk about their job

— Boy, I can’t tell if Tina’s Trent Lott-related “Santa holding a black baby” joke was awful, or if it was just Tina’s delivery of it that was awful. Either way, it’s a prime example of how downhill Tina has been going as an anchorperson this season.
— The overall Amy/Rachel commentary didn’t do much for me as a whole, though the virgin stuff they directed at Jimmy was okay.
— Tina somewhat redeems herself from her aforementioned awful Santa/black baby joke with her very funny Rosie O’Donnell joke.
— Interesting in retrospect hearing a mention of then-17 year old high school basketball player LeBron James and how he may be the first pick in the following year’s NBA draft.
— Short Update tonight. This is also the FIFTH consecutive Update in which I didn’t like the guest commentaries. Man, what is HAPPENING to Update this season?
— I mentioned in the preceding episode’s Update that Jimmy refrained from doing his usual pencil-throw-towards-the-camera routine after signing off at the end, instead just placing his pencil down on the desk. Well, at the end of tonight’s Update, not only does he just place his pencil down on the desk again, but he does it very blatantly this time, as if he’s making some kind of point by doing so. I don’t know what happened behind the scenes that seemingly “suspended” Jimmy from throwing the pencil like he usually does, but this ends up leading into a fun running gag in the entire second half of this season, starting in the very next episode, in which every Update ends with SNL writer Eric Slovin randomly walking on as a different character each time and helping Jimmy dispose of his pencil in a way that pertains to the character Slovin is dressed as.
STARS: **½


DAILY AFFIRMATION WITH STUART SMALLEY
Stuart helps host overcome pain of election result

— Holy hell, the return of Daily Affirmation With Stuart Smalley! Very random, but great to see this back, and it’s quite a novelty seeing it appear in a completely different SNL era. It feels good to review a Stuart Smalley sketch again for the first time since I covered season 20.
— Quite a lot of mentions tonight of recurring characters having been run over by a vehicle, between Gobi in the Jarret’s Room sketch and now Stuart Smalley in this sketch.
— After all these years, Al Franken’s still got it when it comes to how well he plays Stuart Smalley.
— A huge laugh from the fake photo of a fat, bearded, pizza-eating Al Gore three months after the election.
— I love Gore’s annoyed delivery of “What?!?” when Stuart calls his name.
— Pretty funny sequence with the affirmation that Stuart makes Gore do into the mirror.
STARS: ****


WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
Willy Wonka’s (JER) accountant brother (host) explains fiscal realities

— Good to see Jeff’s solid Willy Wonka impression back.
— Al looks hilarious in that costume.
— Funny line from Al about giving Oompah Loompahs green cards.
— Al’s a lot of fun in this.
— Another funny line from Al, this time about a fat kid drowning in Willy Wonka’s chocolate river.
— A big laugh from Kattan as an Oompah Loompah dryly reading from his report, “Uh… we’re Oompah Loompah Doompity screwed.”
STARS: ***½


TV FUNHOUSE
by RBS- Peanuts Gang transforms the spirit of A Charlie Brown Christmas

 

— You can already tell this is going to be great, as Robert Smigel’s Peanuts homages are always fantastic.
— Funny updated versions of the things the Peanuts gang magically transform into something better, such as a street hooker being turned into Dirrty-era Christina Aguilera, Ben Affleck being given bigger hands while feeling up Jennifer Lopez’s big butt, and Blanket Jackson being enlarged so he can get revenge on his daddy.
— A funny sorrowful delivery of “Goodbye, lesbians” from Charlie when the gang has to turn the attractive grownup lesbians back into Marcie and Peppermint Patty.
— A sweet ending that’s actually making me feel really emotional right now, to be honest.
— An overall wonderful Christmas-related Peanuts spoof as expected, though not quite enough to be a five-star classic, in my opinion.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Chalk Dust Torture”


CHRISTMAS EVE DRINKS
on Christmas Eve, sozzled (TRM) & (MAR) musically consider drink options

— Our fourth and final of the series of Tracy/Maya semi-dramatic slice-of-life sketches.
— There’s Maya doing that nasal, throaty “old black lady voice”, which she’ll go back to in quite a number of sketches over the years, one of the things that turned a number of online SNL fans against Maya this season.
— A fairly fun vibe to the drinking song that Tracy and Maya are singing.
— I remember a fellow SNL reviewer back in 2002 pointing out that not only does this sketch have a similar vibe to the Pudge & Solomon sketches that Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo used to do together, but that Tracy’s character even looks like Joe’s Pudge character from those sketches.
— I’m loving Tracy’s acting in this.
— Nice ending.
STARS: ***½


SEASON’S GREETINGS
toys HOS, CHK, TRM, JIF perform a happy Christmas ditty

— I always find it such a treat to see these bits, and I love the way they set this particular one up, showing a wrapped gift box under a tree, and transitioning it to a shot of a giant wrapped gift box prop that Horatio and the gang bust through.
— Fun toy costumes that the guys are wearing.
— Portions of this song seem like they had some last-minute shortening. I’m guessing the show was starting to run long and Horatio was told right before this sketch went on air that he has to cut out some of the lyrics.
— This would end up being the last occurrence of these I Wish It Was Christmas Today numbers while all four of the performers are still in the cast. There was originally going to be one that gets performed at the end of this season in the season finale, which is Tracy and Kattan’s final episode, but reportedly, Horatio and Jimmy threw off the song so much in dress rehearsal by laughing so hard that it led to the piece getting cut from the live show.
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A strong episode and, in addition to having lots of great sketches, had a feel-good vibe to it, which I something I love about a lot of SNL’s Christmas episodes. Al Gore, even with his stiffness and lack of acting experience, was a solid host and, much like John McCain earlier this season, proved to be a great sport. Back in December 2002, I never would’ve guessed that out of Robert DeNiro (the preceding host) and Al Gore, Gore would be the one who would turn out to be the far better host and would have the far more memorable episode.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Robert DeNiro)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
We enter the year 2003, with host Jeff Gordon

Posted on

December 7, 2002 – Robert DeNiro / Norah Jones (S28 E7)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

HOMELAND SECURITY BRIEFING
Craig Fenson (host) reads naughty-sounding names of suspected terrorists

— Darrell’s Tom Ridge bit at the beginning of this is just continuing the joke of his appearance from the preceding season, using odd color choices for terror alerts.
— A huge laugh from the first terrorist name: M’Balz Es-Hari.
— This plethora of immature terrorist names has me practically on the floor. I cannot stop laughing. This is an example of SNL pulling off sophomoric humor the right way.
— The pictures of the cast members as terrorists are cracking me up and are making some of these dirty names even funnier.
— Some good wordplay about some of these dirty-named terrorists, such as Robert DeNiro telling us that I-Zheet M’Drurz “left skidmarks when fleeing the scene of his last attack”.
— I remember at the time, it was a novelty seeing someone of Robert DeNiro’s stature doing dick and fart jokes in this cold opening. Unfortunately, that novelty is LONG gone nowadays, with DeNiro semi-regularly doing low-brow horseshit like Dirty Grandpa. However, this cold opening still holds up as very funny.
— I’m glad this cold opening ended at the right time, before the joke got too old.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
(no synopsis available)

— Very stilted and awkward delivery from DeNiro, and he looks like it’s a chore for him to be hosting.
— Boy, that “punchline” at the end was awful, and received very light and uncomfortable chuckles from the audience.
— And that’s the end??? This monologue was NOTHING. Normally, I’d give credit to SNL for doing a real monologue in an era where real monologues were becoming increasingly rare. But… again, this monologue was NOTHING. All it did was set the tone for the rough episode we’re in for tonight.
— Reminiscent of another terrible SNL host, Steven Seagal, DeNiro begins walking offstage before he’s even completely finished with his “Norah Jones is here, so stick around, we’ll be right back” tagline.
STARS: *


BIG’N TASTY
disclaimers give potential risks associated with McDonald’s Big N’ Tasty

— The Jim Downey-read sardonic disclaimers about the Big N’ Tasty are very funny, made even funnier by Downey’s reliable dry voice-over.
— Great disclaimer about children and morons being valued McDonald’s customers.
— I’m getting a slight bit of a Happy Fun Ball vibe from some of these disclaimers, though this commercial has much more of a sneering tone, as opposed to Happy Fun Ball’s more absurdist tone.
— I absolutely love the “The Big N’ Tasty is not God” disclaimer, which is pretty much to this commercial what “Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball” is to Happy Fun Ball.
STARS: ****


JEFFERSON’S SLAVE
Thomas Jefferson (host) puts the moves on his slave Sally Hemings (MAR)

— (*sigh*) Right out of the gate at the beginning of this, the lead off-sketch of the night, DeNiro IMMEDIATELY fucks up his first line, a line that was supposed to be a big laugh-getter. Boy, this is gonna be a LONG episode, isn’t it?
— Some good reality subtext in this sketch, digging at DeNiro’s real-life reputation for having a preference for black women.
— I got a good laugh from DeNiro’s Thomas Jefferson asking Maya’s Sally Hemmings to call him “T.J.”.
— A lot of pretty funny exchanges between Jefferson and Hemmings. One particularly strong one is “Have you ever thought about being a singer?” “Um, it’s really not an option for me.”
— Funny turn at the end with Tracy as the narrator.
STARS: ***½


PETER PAN REHEARSAL
gruff theater veteran (host) assumes titular role in Peter Pan production

— Yawn. DeNiro playing a tough New Yorker in tights. I can already tell THIS is gonna be a thin sketch.
— It’s now about a minute-and-a-half later, and yep, so much tired, cliched, lazy humor here.
— Okay, I actually got a big laugh just now from DeNiro’s dirty line towards Amy about “going downtown so long, you won’t ever need to wax again.”
— Horrible delivery from DeNiro on his line about having a three-way with an IHOP waitress and her mom.
STARS: *½


MALL SANTA
frustrated mall Santa (host) argues with his helper elf girlfriend (MAR)

— Yawn. DeNiro playing a tough New Yorker in a Santa costume. And, again, so much tired, cliched, lazy humor throughout this sketch.
— Maya and DeNiro being coupled together in a second sketch tonight makes me remember that some online SNL fans at the time tried to start a rumor that DeNiro and Maya had something going on behind the scenes, given DeNiro’s aforementioned preference for black women.
— I think the little boy in this sketch is one of the twins who appeared a year earlier in another Christmas-related mall sketch: the Sears Photographers sketch from the Hugh Jackman episode (a side-by-side comparison below).

— DeNiro is extremely glued to those cue cards, which reminds me that SNL would later show the dress rehearsal version of this sketch in reruns, in which, at one point, DeNiro has SO MUCH trouble reading one particular word off of the cue card that he just gives up and literally says “Whatever that is” and waves off the cue card. Jesus Christ.
— I finally got a laugh from this sketch, with Rachel panickedly telling the little boy “Run, Zach, run!”
— A second laugh, this time from Parnell’s delivery of “Your loss. Nice meeting you” to Maya and DeNiro right before walking away from them, after offering them a great deal. It’s a shame that my only two laughs in this entire sketch are from two cast members who are only playing a side role here.
STARS: *½


U.N. WEAPONS INSPECTORS
U.N. Weapons Inspectors’ (JIF) & (host) cursory search comes up empty

— (After a lengthy set-up) Weapons Inspector: “You got weapons?” Iraqi: “……..No.” Weapons Inspector: “Okay.” (*END OF SKETCH*) Hilarious. Even just the shifty-eyed look on Fred’s face as the Iraqi added to the humor.
— I think whoever wrote this sketch was once quoted somewhere as saying they’re glad this sketch was pre-taped, so DeNiro couldn’t fuck it up.
STARS: ****


JUDGE HORACE
(host) sues girlfriend (HOS) for not losing weight

— The opening intro sequence with Tracy’s Judge Horace is freakin’ hilarious . There are a lot of funny aspects in it, but even just Tracy’s mere delivery alone is killing me.
— A funny line from the voice-over describing Horatio’s female character as “suffering from the Elephant Man disease and having a slight marijuana problem.”
— DeNiro playing a character named Joe Blow? Where’s Colin Quinn when you need him?
— (*sigh*) There goes DeNiro fucking up lines once again.
— A laugh from Tracy’s Judge Horace asking Will as his bailiff to roll him a blunt.
— The premise of Tracy playing a very Tracy Morgan-esque judge is very promising, but ehhh, the actual sketch is turning out to be a bit on the blah side, despite occasional laughs.
— I love Will’s straitlaced delivery of “Sir, your blunt is ready” when returning with Judge Horace’s blunt.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Don’t Know Why”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Whitney Houston (MAR) & Bobby Brown (TRM) explain their drug use

Marty (CHK) & Sylvia (RAD) Feinblatt are sick about their vacation cruise

— Some fairly lukewarm laughter from the audience in response to a lot of Jimmy and Tina’s jokes so far tonight.
— The debut of Maya’s Whitney Houston impression.
— The ending of the Whitney/Bobby commentary, with the visual gag of Tracy-as-Bobby-Brown’s hair flop-sweating, was worth a laugh, as was Maya’s Whitney then saying “Bobby needs his weed!” The rest of their commentary was nothing special at all.
— Pretty funny how Jimmy does a joke about Phish the week before they’re musical guests on SNL, which Jimmy lampshades by following his joke with “See ya next week, Trey.”
— Jimmy does another Norm Macdonald-esque joke and subsequent deadpan staredown of the camera this season, this time with his Sopranos joke. What was with Tina’s horrible ad-lib afterwards, though?
— Rachel and Kattan play a convincing stereotypical old Jewish couple, but boy, am I bored during this commentary of theirs. Not a single laugh from me so far.
— A very lame and desperate punchline to Rachel and Kattan’s commentary, with them spitting out fake vomit.
— For the first in quite a long time, Jimmy doesn’t throw his pencil towards the camera at the end of Update after signing off. He instead just carefully places the pencil on the Update desk. This reminds me that we’ll soon be getting a recurring gag at the end of the Updates from the second half of this season, involving Jimmy’s pencil and SNL writer Eric Slovin.
— This is the second consecutive Update in which I disliked all the guest commentaries. Come to think of it, I also disliked the sole guest commentary in the Update before that (Seth Meyers), as well as all the guest commentaries in the Update before THAT (Gene Shalit, Baby K). My God, when was the last Update that had a guest commentary that I actually liked? Was it the Update that had Tim Calhoun’s great debut, way back in the John McCain episode from October? If so, damn, Update has taken such a drop in quality this season that even the guest commentaries are going down the toilet.
STARS: **


A VERY VERSACE CHANUKAH
Siegfried (Harvey Keitel) & Roy (host)

— It feels like Maya’s been getting tons of airtime tonight.
— I keep expecting Maya’s Versace impression to get to the point where it’s become officially played-out and unfunny, but nope, it’s still working for me thus far, even though her impression has gotten toned down these last two appearances, and I prefer the more animated, wackier version of this Versace impression that Maya did in the preceding season’s Hugh Jackman episode.
— A decent appearance from Horatio and Amy’s Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne impressions.
— Maya’s marshmallow didn’t light on fire like it was supposed to, yet she’s acting like it did, which looks just plain silly.
— That’s not Dean playing the buff, shirtless Santa, is it? If so, it’s his only appearance in this entire episode. Until doing this review just now, I had always thought he made no appearances in this episode.
— Okay, I can now see that that’s not Dean as the buff, shirtless Santa. So that makes this the THIRD episode this season that Dean is completely absent in, and we’re not even halfway through the season yet! Jesus Christ. I ask once again, how in the hell did this guy get a second season on SNL? He went from being a glorified extra in his first season to now being someone who’s lucky if he even gets to APPEAR in the show any given week.
— At least DeNiro is finally playing against type, for the first time all night.
— Harvey Keitel cameo. (I remember some online SNL fan at the time mistook Keitel in this sketch for James Caan, which is hilarious to me.) While I’m not exactly laughing much at him playing Siegfried to DeNiro’s Roy, I do like seeing Keitel on SNL again, especially considering how much I love his SNL episode from season 18.
STARS: **½


SLAPPING SALESMAN
car salesman (host) slaps customer (SEM) to get him to buy options

— Yawn. DeNiro playing a tough New Yorker in a car salesman suit.
— This time, the laziness of the writing for these tedious “DeNiro plays a tough New Yorker” sketches has reached a new low, as this is an EXTREMELY weak one-joke premise. Even the audience has stopped laughing at all the slapping pretty early into this sketch. Not a good sign.
— Seth’s delivery of “Stay in the car, Paige!!” ALMOST induced a chuckle from me. I’m just desperate for something to laugh at in this awful sketch by this point.
STARS: *


BEDTIME STORY
divorced dad (host) uses bedtime story to badmouth ex-wife to son (CHK)

— (*sigh*) Right at top of the sketch, DeNiro mistakenly jumps ahead of the script by responding “Me too, buddy” BEFORE Kattan says the line that DeNiro’s supposed to say “Me too, buddy” in response to.
— Some funny dark turns in DeNiro’s bedtime story to Kattan. If only DeNiro could deliver A SINGLE DAMN LINE without tripping over his words.
— This sketch is getting better and better as it goes along. I love the particularly dark turn in the story just now, with DeNiro’s detailing Kattan’s mother running over the magic squirrel in the story, leading to the squirrel screaming things like “She crushed my spine!” and “The only joy she gets is from other people’s pain!” This is great, and has a very “Mr. Mike’s Least-Loved Bedtime Tales” vibe to it. The silly voice DeNiro’s using for the crushed squirrel is also very funny.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Come Away With Me”


RADIOACTIVE BEAR
countermeasures aimed at a giant radioactive bear just make things worse

— I’m loving the increasing absurdity in the military’s harebrained ideas of how to stop the first radioactive bear, and how their ideas are just making the bear attacks worse and worse.
— I howled at the reveal of the enlarged hunter (Will Forte) being useless against the giant radioactive bears because his gun still stayed the same size from before he got enlarged. Also a great visual afterwards of the hunter getting his arm yanked off by one of the bears and then getting beaten with it.
— A priceless reaction from Will when realizing the Viagra-induced horny bear is lustfully coming for him.
— This is the second sketch in two years that features a cast member named Will getting sodomized by an animal. Unlike the preceding season’s Christmas Kangaroo sketch, the sodomizing in this Radioactive Bear sketch doesn’t have any homophobic implications that might bother some people.
— During the sodomizing scene, I laughed so much at Parnell’s somewhat-deadpan “Yep, there’s the money shot” line.
— Hilarious bit with the military’s poisoned giant sandwich plan backfiring, when Will eats the poisoned giant sandwich that was intended for the bears. This is made even funnier by DeNiro’s “Not you, dummy! Leave the sandwich alooone! It’s not goooood!” and Parnell’s great delivery of “Well, after the beating and the sex, I guess he was hungry.” Man, this sketch is absolutely slaying me.
— The ending of this sketch gets cut off prematurely, due to the show running long. Is it safe to say that DeNiro’s stilted line deliveries and constant flubs all throughout the show are what caused the show to run long?
— The bears in this sketch were played by Jeff and Fred (the latter making his ONLY live appearance of the night), which you sure couldn’t tell from watching the sketch. I find it odd that SNL would use cast members in a role like that, where you can’t even see their faces, hear their voices, or have any other possible way of identifying them. I guess this is something SNL occasionally does with featured players, though. (For example, did you know that in Amy’s famous Sarah Palin rap on Weekend Update in a season 34 episode, the guy in the moose costume who Amy shoots with her finger is then-new featured player Bobby Moynihan?)
STARS: ****½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A disappointing episode. This did have its share of strong highlights, though, especially the nice upswing with the solid last two sketches, the second of which (Radioactive Bear) stands out as probably one of my favorite sketches of this season so far. However, tonight’s strong highlights aren’t enough to make you forget about the truly lazy writing and awfulness that was prevalent in this episode, and they’re certainly not enough to make you forget about how lousy Robert DeNiro was as a host. After being highly anticipated by viewers in his debut as an SNL host, Robert DeNiro showed the world that he and live sketch comedy do not mix. His performances were a mess all night, yet he would go on to inexplicably return in future hosting stints and cameos that also feature THE EXACT SAME stiff acting, stilted delivery, blatant cue card-staring, “I’d rather be anywhere but here” attitude, jumping ahead of the script, and constant line-flubbing from him. Will SNL ever learn?


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Brittany Murphy)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Al Gore hosts the Christmas episode

Posted on

November 16, 2002 – Brittany Murphy / Nelly (S28 E6)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE CHANUKAH SONG
ADS & The Drei-Dels [real] perform “The Chanukah Song, Part 3”; ROS cameo

— Yes! The return of Adam Sandler and the Chanukah Song! I still remember the pure excitement I felt watching this cold opening when it originally aired.
— Great lyric about how “Tom Arnold converted, but you can have him back”.
— Hell yeah, now Rob Schneider joins in! I love how his and Adam’s mere appearance is giving this cold opening such a nostalgic vibe, making me feel like I’m reviewing the early 90s era again.
— After revealing he’s a Filipino Jew, Rob leaves to go home and “light the first pig”. The dress rehearsal version of this cold opening that’s shown in reruns doesn’t feature that exit from Rob. He instead stands with the choir and sings with them for the rest of this cold opening. I think I recall him also putting on a long blond wig when joining the choir, but I may be mistaken.
— This song is so much fun, and I like how the usual melody of Adam’s Chanukah Song is being given a more epic sound tonight, especially with the use of a choir.
— A fantastic “Live from New York…” delivery from Adam. This has always been one of my personal favorite LFNY deliveries of all time. Adam’s LFNY delivery in the aforementioned dress rehearsal version of this cold opening shown in reruns isn’t quite as good.
— Overall, what an incredible way to start off tonight’s episode.
— In this episode’s dress rehearsal, Adam made a second appearance later in the night, reprising Cajun Man on Weekend Update. It got cut from the live show.
STARS: ****½


MONOLOGUE
east coast & west coast castmembers settle comedic feud with a rap-off

— I love how this is setting up an East Coast/West Coast comedy war between the SNL cast. The whole initial confrontation between Parnell and Tracy is hilarious.
— Great addition of East Coast and West Coast cast members backing Tracy and Parnell, respectively. I also like how all the cast members on the West Coast side are Groundlings alums (Parnell, Kattan, Will, and Maya).
— Fuck yeah! A Chris Parnell rap! Always an epic treat.
— So many fantastic and hilarious lyrics in Parnell’s rap, especially “Lorne likes me so much, he hired me twice”, him name-dropping recent SNL hosts he’s slept with, and him dissing Tracy by telling him “You play Brian Fellow. Bitch, I’m PRESIDENT BUSH!”
— Ah, now Amy is about to showcase great rapping skills of her own, for the first time in her SNL tenure.
— Damn, and I thought Parnell’s lyrics were amazing. Amy’s lyrics are fucking KILLER, especially her great Corky Romano diss to Kattan, her Laraine Newman reference, and the “Say my name, Don Pardo” part. All of the inside/meta SNL jokes in both Parnell and Amy’s respective rap are perfect for SNL nerds like me.
— Aaaaaand Brittany Murphy now proceeds to kill all the great momentum, by stepping to the front of the stage and doing a “rap” of her own, complete with the less-than-pleasant visual of her flailing around her scarily skinny bare arms. Ehh, I’m probably being too harsh on Brittany’s rap, but still, it’s needless to say that her rap does not hold a candle to Parnell’s or Amy’s, and ends this monologue on kind of an anticlimactic note. I guess SNL had to give Brittany a rap of her own here, though, considering this is her monologue (though you sure wouldn’t know it, from how extremely heavily it’s focused on Parnell, Tracy, and Amy).
— Overall, such an epic, almost-perfect monologue. Between the Chanukah Song cold opening and this, tonight’s episode has been on FIRE. This has got to be one of the most exciting one-two punches an SNL episode has ever opened with in regards to cold openings and monologues.
STARS: ****½


WELCOME BACK, POTTER
grown-up Harry Potter (WLF) teaches Sweathogs at Hogwarts

— Hilarious twist with this Harry Potter piece unexpectedly turning into a random Harry Potter/Welcome Back, Kotter hybrid. The Kotter-esque opening credits are very funny.
— I like how the only cast members in this are all five of this season’s featured players (Fred, Dean, Will, Seth, and Jeff).
— Ending voice-over: “Due to legal action, Welcome Back, Potter may be called Honky In The Hood.”
— Back when this originally aired, I remember being disappointed that this Welcome Back, Potter bit ended after the opening credits, as I was anticipating those opening credits leading into a full-fledged Welcome Back, Potter sketch. In retrospect, I now realize that disappointment of mine was foolish, because a full Welcome Back, Potter sketch probably would’ve belabored the point, and the premise probably doesn’t have enough legs to sustain a full sketch. SNL made the right decision keeping this down to just an opening credits sequence.
STARS: ****


THE LEATHER MAN
The Leather Man sells pants to (host) as Choo-Choo (HOS) chases a snake

— Hoo, boy. THIS is our lead-off sketch tonight? Way to piss all over the great mood this episode had put me in before this point.
— Odd how the two episodes this sketch has appeared in were hosted by someone named Britney/Brittany.
— What the hell is with all the awkward long pauses between lines?
— And thus begins the obligatory gigglefest from Fallon & Sanz.
— Brittany’s acting in this is… rather odd, which is probably putting it kindly.
— I remember how much online SNL fans at this time kept raving about how supposedly hilarious the portion of this sketch with a screaming Horatio running around and destroying the set while having a snake biting his crotch was. Meh. To me, it’s half-funny and half-annoying. I’d probably find it much funnier if Horatio wasn’t so damn amused by himself during it, laughing at his own antics just as much as the audience and Jimmy is.
— Blah, the punchline at the end, with Jimmy calling 911 to report Horatio’s crotch snake bite and then responding to 911, “I have to put my mouth where?”, then telling Horatio, “Looks like you’re gonna die”, is one of the oldest jokes in the book. I remember how some of my fellow SNL reviewers back in 2002 gave credit to SNL for that “killer” punchline, apparently not being aware that SNL just took that punchline from an ancient, well-known joke.
— I still shudder at the fact that the great Tom Davis is the writer responsible for these Leather Man sketches. Come on, Tom, you’re much better than this. I can’t picture this being a sketch he would’ve had Aykroyd and Belushi doing back in the day.
STARS: **


DONAHUE
nonexistent viewership points to the death of liberalism

— This is the first time we’ve seen Darrell’s Phil Donahue impression in ages. Good to see it again, this time making fun of Donahue’s doomed MSNBC show.
— I like the Phil Donahue/Michael Moore conversation, with Jeff’s Michael Moore being asked details about his bathing and clothing habits. I’m especially laughing at Moore’s description of a “Mexican Shower”.
— Funny graphic of the lowest-rated shows in prime-time.
— I’m already laughing at the initial visual of Tracy as Al Sharpton.
— A good laugh from the entire commercial break only consisting of an MSNBC “Advertise your product here” graphic.
— The soft focus screen effect used on Maya’s Barbra Streisand is funny.
— The pre-taped scene with Darrell’s Donahue taking questions from a mostly-empty studio audience appears to have been taped in Conan O’Brien’s then-current Late Night studio (the last above screencap for this sketch). Also, the joke of Donahue taking questions from a mostly-empty studio audience was originally used in a brief piece from season 15, with Dana Carvey playing a German version of Donahue, named Donheiser.
— This sketch is starting to kinda run out of steam. The constant “People don’t like you” lines are too redundant, even if that’s the point.
STARS: ***


JARRET’S ROOM
fellow student (host) is wired on stimulants

— Jesus Christ, a SECOND Fallon/Sanz sketch tonight, and merely 10 minutes after we just had a Fallon/Sanz sketch? Speaking of which, why does Jarret’s Room always have to appear in the same episode that a Leather Man sketch appears in?
— The 80s bit with Seth’s DJ Jonathan Feinstein character is pretty funny.
— I guess Horatio hasn’t finished getting all of his giggles out from the Leather Man sketch earlier tonight, as his Gobi character is even more giggly tonight than he usually is. At least Horatio’s giggliness blends in well with his Gobi character, unlike his character in the Leather Man sketches.
— In light of the way that Brittany Murphy would tragically die in real life, it feels kinda disturbing now to look back on her playing such a “wired” character in this sketch, especially the part where her heart flat-out stops for a few seconds.
— Overall, a subpar Jarret’s Room installment, and one that aged poorly, due to the stuff with Brittany (though I don’t remember finding her appearance in this sketch funny even when this sketch originally aired).
STARS: **


PRESS CONFERENCE
Princess Di’s former butler Paul Burrell (SEM) denies he’s a homosexual

— This sketch appears to be live, but it was taped at dress rehearsal. One of the dead giveaways is that this is airing immediately after the preceding Jarret’s Room sketch, with no commercial break in between. It’s obviously not humanly possible for Seth to have changed from his DJ Jonathan Feinstein costume to his Paul Burrell costume in just 15 seconds.
— I sense a whole bunch of bad, hacky, stereotypical gay jokes coming up.
— Something about Steve Higgins’ whispery, professional voice-over is making me laugh, despite his weak dialogue making fun of Paul Burrell’s gayness.
— I like the “stuffy British person” facial expression that Rachel has throughout the entire sketch.
— Yep, this sketch is just going through a whole bunch of stereotypical gay cliches. Yawn. I do admit, though, to chuckling in spite of myself at the professional caption on the bottom of the screen that stated Seth’s Paul Burrell “received bad news from a drag queen”.
STARS: **


TENNIS TALK WITH TIME TRAVELING SCOTT JOPLIN
Scott Joplin (MAR) offers racquets & ragtime

— What an absolutely insane, oddball, and creative premise. I love it.
— Dean gets his first comedic role in ages, and of course, it’s just a drag role. Then again, Tracy and Maya are in drag too. Brittany’s the only performer in this sketch who’s playing a role that’s their own gender.
— I love the running bit with Maya’s Scott Joplin smugly playing a brief ragtime tune on the piano each time after he delivers a zinger to Brittany’s Anna Kournikova.
— Maya’s delivery and dialogue are fantastic here.
— Scott Joplin, after Anna Kournikova has angrily used the word ‘antiquated’: “Antiquated? That’s a big word, Russian Barbie.”
— Great sketch overall. As strong as this was, the second installment of this sketch that would appear the following season is even better, in my opinion.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Kelly Rowland [real] perform “Dilemma”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Drunk Girl fails to address link between memory & alcohol consumption

David Gest (CHK) & Liza Minnelli (MAR) explain reality show cancellation

— Tina, when realizing she has to introduce Drunk Girl: “Oh, no. Really? Okay.” That kinda matches my attitude towards the about-to-appear Drunk Girl, as so many of Drunk Girl’s Update appearances are the exact same as each other.
— Yep, so far, the same old Drunk Girl shtick. Not a single new thing to be found here. They might as well just play a video of one of her previous Update appearances. I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
— A funny and accurate prediction from Tina on how Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s marriage will be the last marriage for neither.
— Haha, boy, Jimmy’s Richard Gere gerbil joke got a HUGE audience reaction.
— Another Phil Collins bit between Jimmy and Tina, in the same vein of the one they did a few episodes prior. I still feel like I’m not quite in on the joke, but I laugh anyway at the sheer oddness of these bits.
— Maya and Kattan’s Liza Minnelli and David Gest impressions have returned. All I can say is, they’ll never top the solid Tony Bennett Show sketch they first appeared in.
— Yeah, this Minnelli/Gest commentary isn’t really working for me. That makes two subpar guest commentaries tonight.
STARS: ***


ASTRONAUT JONES
Astronaut Jones, (GAM), (musical guest) meet Queen Of The Zorgons (host)

— And I thought the Sandler/Schneider cameos earlier tonight were a treat. Now we get a very random, shocking, and awesome return of Garrett Fucking Morris! Amazing. I think this is the first time I’m reviewing Garrett since I last covered season 5, his final season on the show. I don’t think he’s ever made a cameo in a regular episode before now (not counting SNL’s anniversary specials or anything like that).
— A modification to the usual Astronaut Jones theme song has been made, as we now have a new addition of female backup vocals. Not sure what the point of that new addition is.
— The usual “Astronaut Jones makes dirty brief statements throughout the female alien’s long speech” gag is made even funnier tonight by Garrett and Nelly joining in on the dirty statements.
— Tracy kills as always when delivering his big punchline after the alien has finished her speech. His punchline tonight is possibly his dirtiest one yet in these Astronaut Jones sketches.
STARS: ****½


TV FUNHOUSE
“Religetables” by RBS- anthropomorphic plants show religion’s nasty side

— This is such a spot-on and funny Veggie Tales parody, with Robert Smigel using his cutting humor to skewer the way Veggie Tales presents religious events.
— So many funny little details, such as a potato baby being “circumcised” by having the potato skin around its crotch area be sliced off with a food knife, and an ear of corn falling into “hell”, which is just a cooking grill.
— A particularly funny part with a pickle priest holding a conference in which he admits to sexually abusing gherkins.
STARS: ****½


MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
a square dancing mishap in chapter 589


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Hot In Herre”


SHE’S THE GIRL WITH NO GAYDAR!!!
Nicole, The Girl With No Gaydar meets lesbian counterpart (host) at party

— (*groan*) A third installment of this should’ve-stayed-one-and-done sketch? At least this thankfully this ends up being the final installment.
— I see that Maya has replaced Ana Gasteyer as the best friend of Rachel’s character.
— Blah, so far, tonight’s installment is the same old tired routine these Girl With No Gaydar sketches always do.
— Okay, I actually like the different direction this is now going, with Rachel’s character getting hit on by a lesbian.
— Ehh, the lesbian bit ended up not saving this sketch like I thought it would.
— Much like Maya replacing Ana’s role in these Gaydar sketches, I see Darrell has replaced Will Ferrell’s recurring role as the guy the camera cuts to at the end of these Gaydar sketches when Rachel asks “If these guys are gay, then what’s my (insert person she knows here) doing here?” Darrell seems out of place in this role. He’s no Ferrell when it comes to having the ability to steal sketches in a brief cutaway shot.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— This episode had a very impressive number of absolutely fantastic things that are sure to make it into my end-of-season “Best Of” picks. However, this episode also had quite a number of misfires, which will surely drag down the rating average. However, the absolutely fantastic things in this episode were definitely strong enough to make up for the misfires.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Nia Vardalos)
a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Robert DeNiro makes his then-highly anticipated hosting debut, and proceeds to let the entire SNL fandom down HARD

Posted on

November 9, 2002 – Nia Vardalos / Eve (S28 E5)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

REPUBLICAN MAJORITY
after midterm elections, George W. Bush (CHP) miscalculates GOP advantage

— (*sigh*) Whoever it was who originally recorded these copies that I watch of this season’s episodes must’ve REALLY hated Parnell’s Bush impression, because the two Parnell-as-Bush cold openings that I’ve covered so far have BOTH been missing their first few minutes in the copies I’m reviewing. Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but either way, this is getting really annoying.
— Thankfully, unlike the first time Parnell’s Bush appeared and did an address to the nation, we don’t have Darrell’s Dick Cheney pointlessly and awkwardly standing next to him the whole time. They also thankfully got rid of the unnecessary prosthetic nose Parnell wore as Bush last time.
— A decent math confusion bit with Bush.
— A laugh or two from Bush’s lines after the whole math bit is over.
— I continue to find Parnell’s Bush impression serviceable, and unlike last time, Parnell doesn’t seem to be aping Will Ferrell’s Bush impression as much. Unfortunately, I don’t think Parnell’s Bush ever rises above serviceable in any of his subsequent sketches. While “serviceable at best” isn’t exactly something SNL should be striving for, I sure as hell am not looking forward to what SNL will eventually replace Parnell’s Bush with: Darrell Hammond doing a Bush impression so fucking embarrassing that he makes Parnell look like Ferrell when it comes to playing Bush. I guess a little part of me honestly is kinda looking forward to shitting all over Darrell’s impression in my reviews.
— This cold opening is over already? Dammit, that must mean my copy is missing A LOT of this. Yeah, it definitely is, because now that I’m thinking of it, I remember a number of things in this opening that weren’t in the chunk that’s shown in my copy. Because of all of this, I can’t rate this fairly.
STARS: N/A


MONOLOGUE
host is greeted by TIF’s mom [real] & other Greek family members

— Right out of the gate, Nia Vardalos pulls a “Jonny Moseley” by starting to speak long before the opening audience applause has stopped. At least Moseley has an excuse for making that mistake, as he’s an athlete with no acting experience.
— Rachel is hilarious as one of the Greek relatives.
— That’s the whole monologue? Well, THAT certainly was short, and was barely even written. Nothing of substance happened in this. Considering the fact that Nia has a background in improv comedy, I’d rather they’d have done a monologue that let her show her comedic side more, rather than them just doing a lazy, cliched “Greeks have a lot of relatives” joke that just had Nia playing a dull straight man.
STARS: **


SWIFFER SLEEPERS
— Rerun from 10/12/02. Ugh, this commercial was insufferable enough the first time.
— This repeated commercial surprisingly ends up being the ONLY time we see Amy all night. She doesn’t appear during any of the new segments in tonight’s episode (not including the goodnights, where, from my memory of past viewings of this episode, I think you can spot her at the back of the stage, looking kinda lonely), which is very rare for her.


SUSHI BAR
at a sushi bar, Bloater brothers interest (host) but can’t close the deal

— I’m a defender of the Bloater Brothers, but it kinda doesn’t feel right for them to be placed in the lead-off sketch of the night.
— The setting and format of tonight’s Bloater Brothers installment feels like a re-write of the Bloater installment from the Julianna Margulies episode, and Nia is basically just playing the same character Margulies played.
— A good laugh from Parnell’s line about his enormous areolas.
— Overall, not much to say about this, but this was standard decent Bloater Brothers fare. This ends up being the last we’ll see of the Bloater Brothers until Jimmy’s final episode a year-and-a-half later, where we actually get some kind of conclusion to the Bloater Brothers storyline.
STARS: ***


CBS NEWS SPECIAL REPORT
Dan Rather (DAH) covers nerds’ surprising sweep of student council seats

 

— Seth’s “It was a tough week for sluts” line was pretty funny.
— As always, lots of funny one-liners from Darrell’s Dan Rather.
— That photo of Horatio as a cocky-looking jock is hilarious.
— Dan Rather: “That boy is cooler than Sister Mary Margaret’s nipples on a cool winter’s morning.”
— The audience is really into this sketch (which feels kinda rare to say this season), which is adding to the enjoyable atmosphere of this already good sketch.
— The cutaway to Fred as “the kid who wears the fedora” is one of the standout funniest single moments of this entire season, and a great early example of how much Fred could enhance a sketch even with a brief, silent appearance.
— Dan Rather, in regards to nerds being voted as student council: “The voters have spoken, and they have spoken in Klingon.”
STARS: ***½


BIKINI WAX
at a spa, it takes a while for (host) to finish giving (RAD) a bikini wax

— Nia’s been displaying some solid character voices so far tonight.
— A lot of great pained yelps from Rachel throughout her waxing.
— Nia, while looking down towards Rachel’s pubic area: “You have children?” Rachel: “Uh… no. Why?” Nia: “Never mind.”
— Rachel, after Nia suggests she gets one more waxing for her husband: “I don’t have a husband.” Nia: “I make room for one.”
— Great bit with Nia’s “crazy house” analogy.
— Nia: “Honey, you got Robin Williams’ forearms in your panties.”
— My god, the great lines from Nia keep coming all throughout this sketch.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Gangsta Lovin'”


WEEKEND UPDATE
JIF & TIF demonstrate machine that identifies people by the way they walk

in absentia, high school loser SEM gets drunk at his ten-year reunion

— Jimmy’s been having a rough night with his jokes so far tonight. His Katherine Harris joke was particularly terrible.
— The punchline to Tina’s “Red Lobster in Times Square” joke, about going down to Times Square and getting “crabs”, was already used earlier that week on Late Night With Conan O’Brien. I’m not claiming SNL stole it, though. After all, jokes about getting STDs from Times Square write themselves.
— Hmm, an interesting out-of-the-ordinary segment with Jimmy and Tina demonstrating a machine that identifies people by their walk.
— Some funny celebrity walking impressions from Jimmy. I particularly like his Michael Stipe walk, and the whole drunk walk thing.
— Tina’s punchline about a dog sniffing another dog’s balls was quite Norm Macdonald-esque.
— Tonight’s Update feels like a leftover season 26 Update, back in the days when Tina regularly out-performed Jimmy at the desk. In this season, on the other hand, it’s usually been the other way around, with Tina gradually going downhill and Jimmy gradually improving.
— Okay, Jimmy’s jokes tonight have been getting better.
— Promising bit with Seth enacting his own high school reunion that he’s currently missing. I like how out-of-the-ordinary this feels for an Update bit, much like the celebrity walking detector thing earlier.
— Hmm, just now, Seth has mentioned a quarterback at his acted-out high school reunion named Doug Stradley. The name Doug Stradley would later be used (as seen here) in a Weekend Update commentary that Seth would do in season 30, in which he plays a fictional fratboy named Doug Stradley talking about the presidential elections (which I recall felt like Seth was just doing an inferior knock-off of the fratboy character that Will Ferrell once famously played on Update, giving his thoughts about the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal). I’m guessing Seth has/had a friend in real life named Doug Stradley, which is why Seth keeps using his name in different bits.
— When enacting a phone call to his parents to come pick him up from his high school reunion, Seth angrily says “Yeah, I know MADtv is on. Tape it!” A funny subtle reference to Seth’s brother, Josh, being a cast member on MADtv at this time. I believe this ends up being the only MADtv mention ever made on SNL.
— Aside from the aforementioned MADtv line, I’m not finding myself laughing much during this Seth commentary. It’s mostly just bland, generic, un-creative comedy here, the type of comedy that I used to heavily associate with Seth before this SNL project has been making me reevaluate him as a cast member. His SNL tenure has been surprisingly pretty good so far, but his commentary tonight is the kind of generic blandness that I’m expecting to have shoved down my throat on a regular basis when I reach season 30, a season in which SNL unsuccessfully attempts to make Seth the male star of the show.
STARS: ***


THE FEREY MÜHTAR TALK SHOW
sidekick (DAH) is smitten by actress (host)

— Quite questionable that they’re bringing this sketch back. The only real reason the first installment worked was because of the classic mustache blooper with Darrell, and Ian McKellen and Horatio’s priceless ad-libs in response to the mustache blooper, all of which SNL will never be able to top in tonight’s installment. Also known as “Debbie Downer Syndrome”.
— Darrell’s character looks kinda different in tonight’s installment.
— I like the new addition of Fred and Kattan as Ferey Muhtar’s house band.
— The “banter” bit between Horatio and Darrell is funny.
— A good laugh from Darrell shamefully admitting that he can’t show one of the pages of Nia’s “sexy” calendar because he… ahem, “used” it.
— My goodwill towards this sketch is rapidly diminishing. After a decent first 2-3 minutes, this sketch has been going on and on, with just a whole bunch of back-and-forth arguing between Horatio, Darrell, and occasionally Nia, which are getting zero laughs from me. Yep, Debbie Downer Syndrome is clearly at play here. Should’ve kept this sketch one-and-done.
STARS: **


THE FALCONER
supposedly-loyal raptor Donald lives it up as The Falconer (WLF) ekes by

— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring character debut! And much like the last character I used that line for (Tim Calhoun), the major recurring character debuting tonight is one that I could not be more excited for.
— The opening title sequence in this first Falconer installment is a bit different from the one used in all of this sketch’s subsequent installments. Instead of the voice-over saying at one point, in regards to Will’s Ken Mortimer character, “Then, for reasons known only to him, he left his wife and career, and moved deep into the forest”, the voice-over actually goes into some detail about why he left his wife and career. Something to do with him finding a mysterious box in his home. I distinctly remember this original title sequence showing, at one point, a still photo of Will’s Ken Mortimer staring into a mysterious box while having a comically exaggerated open-mouthed shocked look on his face. However, I’m reviewing the rerun version of tonight’s episode, which replaces the original title sequence with the truncated version that’s used in all of the subsequent installments.
— Fantastic characterization from Will as usual.
— Hilarious scene with Donald the Falcon at a restaurant. I especially love his panicked reaction to the flame from the cherries jubilee.
— I recall some SNL fans at the time saying these Falconer sketches have a new-age Toonces feel, which makes me love these already-great Falconer sketches even more.
— The outlandish, extensive things Donald the Falcon is shown doing are great.
— A clever subtle reveal that Nia’s character is Ken Mortimer’s wife from before he left her and became The Falconer.
— Very funny how the meal that Donald the Falcon brings The Falconer back is a rat, after all the expensive gourmet food Donald had just treated himself to.
— Overall, a very strong debut of The Falconer. Will continues to be a new force to be reckoned with so early into his first season.
STARS: ****½


PIER 1 IMPORTS
Pier 1 Imports warns shoppers to beware of loony Kirstie Alley (host)

— A spot-on parody of Kirstie Alley’s Pier 1 ads, right down to perfectly recreating the visual style.
— Nia’s a dead ringer for Kirstie Alley here, and her insane, unsettling portrayal of Alley is hilarious.
— Funny turn with this ad being a warning from Pier 1 to customers about the dangers of Kirstie Alley, with tips on what to do to protect yourself if you ever come into contact with her.
— A good laugh from the visual of Nia shoving Horatio backwards into a shelf. I remember that practically killed me with laughter when this episode originally aired.
STARS: ****


DROPPING THE L.B.’S WITH MISSY E
Missy Elliott’s (TRM) exercise video contains impossible-to-mimic moves

— Kinda interesting seeing Tracy (in his first and only appearance all night) doing an updated version of the Missy Elliott impression that he last did years prior in the Jon Lovitz episode from season 23. Like Missy herself, Tracy lost a lot of weight since those days.
— I like Rachel’s un-street-like delivery about how she went out and got her “hurr did”.
— Overall, a fairly fun premise, and a lot of fairly fun performances, but I dunno, the overall sketch felt completely forgettable. It feels like SNL forgot to write actual jokes for most of this sketch. Either that, or there’s just not much comedy you can mine out of the concept of a Missy Elliott workout tape.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Irresistible Chick”


GLENDA GOODWIN, ATTORNEY AT LAW
personal injury lawyer Glenda Goodwin (MAR) specializes in weird cases

— The debut of Maya’s Glenda Goodwin character, who I remember being one of the main characters responsible for turning quite a number of online SNL fans against Maya over the course of this season.
— So far, Maya’s characterization isn’t bad in this sketch, and I’m enjoying the absurd humor here, with Glenda Goodwin’s serious treatment of unusual personal injury claims.
— Odd how this is the second consecutive sketch tonight that not only is showing testimonials from customers, but two of the testimonial-giving customers are Nia and Rachel. Hell, SNL might as well be using the same background walls for the testimonials in both sketches.
— Portions of Rachel’s testimonial being blatantly re-dubbed with Glenda Goodwin’s voice is pretty funny.
— Speaking of Rachel, I really love how she’s been getting tons of airtime these last few episodes, as well as some great showcase pieces (Game Night, Bikini Wax). Too bad this increase in airtime doesn’t end up lasting for her. Also, it feels like the more and more she’s appeared these last few episodes, the less and less Amy has appeared. I’m still in shock over Amy being shut out of the live show tonight.
STARS: ***½


COMMUNITY ACCENTS
Vasquez (HOS) stuns guests with inappropriate comments

— Horatio’s Vasquez Gomez-Vasquez character from Will Ferrell’s classic Show Your Patriotism sketch has gotten spun-off into his own sketch.
— Dean makes his first appearance in THREE EPISODES. I kid you not, folks. He was completely absent from the last two episodes. In fact, the last sketch he appeared in was the Making The Video sketch from the Sarah Michelle Gellar episode, in which he embarrassed himself on live TV by pretty much botching his scene. Perhaps having him sit out two consecutive episodes is his punishment for screwing up his appearance in that Making The Video sketch so badly. Ehh, probably not, but who knows? Either way, I really have to question how in the hell this guy made it to a second season on SNL.
— No idea what to say about this sketch. Horatio’s goofy characterization is kinda amusing, but this sketch itself is just plain dumb, and not always in the funny way. I think this Vasquez character works better as a supporting character, from what I remember of his subsequent appearances in those adult school sketches.
— I’ve seen some SNL fans compare this Vasquez character to the then-current Brian Fellow. In fact, I recall hearing that tonight’s Vasquez sketch was originally supposed to air in The Rock episode from the preceding season, which also contained a Brian Fellow sketch. I wonder if this Vasquez sketch got cut because SNL realized a Brian Fellow talk show sketch and a Vasquez talk show sketch in the same episode is too redundant.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— This episode was kinda all over the place. Some strong things, some average things, some blah things. Never a consistent feel to the episode’s quality. Nia Vardalos was an impressive host, expertly doing a variety of funny characterizations and voices, blending well into the show, and coming off like an honorary cast member, which all makes sense, given her improv background.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Eric McCormack)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Brittany Murphy

Posted on

November 2, 2002 – Eric McCormack / Jay-Z (S28 E4)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

ENDORSEMENT ADS
Rudolph Giuliani (DAH) grinds out ads for GOP candidates he barely knows

— I like the little detail of how the sentimental background music in these endorsement ads always keeps abruptly stopping to a halt whenever Darrell’s Rudy Giuliani starts going off-script by questioning what he just read.
— The whole part with a reluctant Giuliani being forced to talk about how much he supports Heinrich Himmler is hilarious. However, I gotta say, the concept of the real Rudy Giuliani supporting Heinrich Himmler doesn’t come off so far-fetched nowadays. (And that’s about as political as you’ll ever see me get in these reviews.)
— Funny bit with how one political ad Darrell’s Giuliani reads off turns out to be an answering machine message for some random family, which catches him off-guard.
— The bit with Giuliani being made to read off a list of syllables so they can be dubbed in to make their own messages reminds me of how some SNL fans used to suggest (jokingly or not, I don’t know) that SNL should make Don Pardo (back when he was still alive) do the same thing, so his voice will live on forever after his death.
— A pretty funny ending ad with Darrell’s Giuliani mouthing along to badly dubbed-in, mechanical-sounding syllables of his own voice.
— Very awkward silence after Darrell’s pre-taped “Live from New York…”. No audience applause or theme music follows his LFNY at first; just uncomfortable dead silence. Geez.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host has trouble convincing audience members that he’s not gay

— A nice bouncy and energetic entrance from Eric McCormack, and I love how he asks the SNL Band to play the ending note again, which he proceeds to jump in time to.
— This monologue is basically just a gender-flipped version of Lucy Lawless’ monologue from season 24, where lesbian audience members (and some straight male audience members) kept asking Lawless lesbian-related questions.
— Boy, this one unseen guy in the audience has a VERY loud laugh that keeps standing out over the rest of the audience’s only-medium-level laughter throughout this monologue.
— Steve Higgins’ bit made me laugh out loud.
— Kattan shows up, addressing the famous gay rumors about himself while wearing his Mango clothes. I remember when this monologue originally aired, Kattan being dressed like that scared me into thinking we were getting a Mango sketch tonight. Thankfully, I was wrong.
— Pretty funny photo of Kattan with his wife, played by a scowling Paula Pell.
— At least Eric’s “manly” song is taking this into a different direction from Lucy Lawless’ monologue, but I’m not caring at all for this song.
STARS: **


THE BACHELOR
The Bachelor (host) picks ditzy hottie (MAR) instead of one-legged Amber

John Ritter, JIB, Bonnie Hunt inhabit Last-Chance Tuesdays on ABC

— The visual of Rachel in a hot tub while holding a plate of cooked meat up to Eric has shades of The Luvahs.
— Maya, to one-legged Amber: “At least I have two legs.” Amber: “At least I have two self-respects!”
— Maya’s ditziness is pretty funny.
— A laugh from Amber suddenly passing out unconscious right in the middle of bragging about how “hot” her hypoglycemia is.
— The brief “Last Chance Tuesdays” ABC commercial was absolutely hilarious, skewering the attempts at new sitcoms by Bonnie Hunt, John Ritter, and SNL’s own Jim Belushi. Who would’ve guessed at this time that According To Jim would end up lasting so many damn seasons?
— The Bachelor portions of this sketch are getting old. This sketch peaked so much with the unrelated “Last Chance Tuesdays” ad that it makes the remainder of this sketch pale in comparison. And I think Amy’s Amber character has finally reached that inevitable point where I’m starting to get kinda tired of her shtick, especially the farting nonsense.
STARS: **½


GAME NIGHT
losing at a party game causes ultra-competitive (RAD) to go on a rampage

— After such a serious set-up with a straightforward, joke-less first minute-and-a-half, we get a great turn with Rachel’s unexpected angry outburst.
— Rachel’s increasingly maniacal competitive attitude is very funny.
— Rachel: “Who the balls put Felix Mendelssohn?!?”
— We now get an epic and hilarious meltdown from Rachel, tearing the house apart, crashing through the wall (and leaving a human-shaped hole in the wall), and going insane outdoors while screaming and running around.
— Great detail of a now-frightened Eric rocking back and forth when Rachel speechlessly returns to the house after her meltdown.
— Overall, a very strong sketch and one of Rachel’s all-time best performances.
STARS: ****½


TALARICO FOR CONGRESS
Andrew Talarico (CHK) to voters- “tell Ellen Frankel (RAD) to stop lying”

— Uh… okay. I went through this whole mock attack ad without laughing a single time. There’s “spoofing something while using understated, low-key humor”, and then there’s “being so close to the source material it’s spoofing that you can’t find the joke”.
STARS: *


FRANKEL FOR CONGRESS
Ellen Frankel retaliates by asking voters to call Andrew Talarico

— Two of these attack ads in a row?
— The footage of Kattan’s character is actually from the cold opening of season 26’s Val Kilmer episode, in which Kattan played Al Gore’s lawyer.
— I get what this ad is going for, but ehhh, it’s not working too well for me. I am liking this second ad a little better than the first, though.
— I’m getting unwanted flashbacks to this season’s Sarah Michelle Gellar episode with how dead the audience is during these attack ads.
STARS: **


AMERICAN MORNING WITH PAULA ZAHN
Paula Zahn (TIF) & new co-anchor (host) fall in love

— I believe this is the very first instance of Tina starring in a sketch as either a character or a celebrity impression, instead of as herself. I remember what a shocking sight this was at the time.
— Wow, Rachel has been everywhere so far in tonight’s episode, which is nice to see.
— A good laugh from the sudden “Are we in love?” turn from out of nowhere.
— Okay, after the initially-funny “Are we in love?” turn, I don’t like where this sketch is going.
— Yeah, it’s now two minutes later, and I haven’t been laughing at all. This sketch is pure blah.
— Ugh, enough with Tina and Eric passionately kissing each other. If SNL is expecting these kisses to get a whole bunch of “Woo!”s from the audience, it’s not working, as the audience is DEAD SILENT during these kissing sessions, which just makes it uncomfortable to me. By the way, some of the audience members from the aforementioned Sarah Michelle Gellar episode must’ve returned tonight, as there have been a few things in tonight’s episode that have been met with eerie silence, including Darrell’s pre-taped “Live from New York” at the end of the cold opening. Actually, as I said in my review of this season’s first episode, sketches and certain moments receiving uncomfortable silence from the audience is a bit of a theme this season, which adds to the “off” feeling of this season. While silence from audiences this season would never again get as bad as it was in the Sarah Michelle Gellar episode, I do remember the Jeff Gordon episode that’s coming up later this season having a somewhat tough audience.
STARS: *½


FAIRNESS IN NEGATIVE ATTACK ADS
Andrew Talarico’s follow-up anti-Frankel ad reaches new level of negation

— The increasingly convoluted messages of these attack ads (e.g. “Call Ellen Frankel to tell her to stop asking voters to call Andy Talarico to tell him to stop asking them to call her… etc.”) are not working much for me. They’re eliciting a minor smirk at best.
— I got one actual laugh just now, from the non-sequitur gag of a “J.Lo: I want Ben’s babies” headline being shown as a newspaper snippet example.
STARS: **


SIDE NOTE: The “torn edges” border used in some of this season’s bumper photos of hosts and musical guests reminds me so much of the bumper photo format from the early 90s. (some side-by-side comparisons below)


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Lenny Kravitz [real] perform “Guns & Roses”


WEEKEND UPDATE
belabored puns in Gene Shalit’s (HOS) movie reviews make no sense

atop the newsdesk, toddler rapper Baby K (JER) gets the party started

— Hmm, New York was then-recently chosen to host the 2012 Olympics? What ever happened to that? Didn’t the 2012 Olympics end up being held in London?
— Meh, another Gene Shalit Update commentary.
— Horatio-as-Shalit’s barrage of corny puns are doing NOTHING for me, not even in a “So bad, it’s good” way.
— Okay, I’m starting to get some chuckles from Shalit’s puns.
— Aaaaaand there goes the obligatory Fallon/Sanz gigglefest, where Horatio makes himself and Jimmy laugh far more than he makes me laugh. As bad as this is, the dress rehearsal version of this Gene Shalit commentary that’s shown in reruns features even worse Fallon/Sanz giggling.
— Tina, in an ad-libbed aside after the Gene Shalit gigglefest commentary has ended: “We’ve lost complete control.” Truer words have never been spoken.
— A very odd Phil Collins bit between Jimmy and Tina, but I kinda liked it, even though I feel like it might be spoofing something I’m not familiar with.
— What was with the very brief accidental cut to Tina when Jimmy was about to start the next joke? That gaffe receives extended laughter from the audience.
— Jeff attempts a new character, Baby K. And, hoo boy, this is absolutely not working for me. AT. ALL. The “comedy” here is fucking cringeworthy, and this is coming off like a rejected character from Nickelodeon’s “All That” or some shit. (Not to diss All That too much. Like most 90s kids, that show is a huge part of my childhood.) Hell, the occasional technical glitches with the superimposing effect on Jeff are more interesting than anything in the actual bit itself.
— And THAT’S how this Update ends? With that mind-numbingly god-awful Baby K bit? Boy, this overall Update was kind of a mess, which sadly continues the decline in quality that this season’s Updates have been taking.
STARS: **


BULLHORN
lax judge (WLF) is slow to yank contemptuous defendant’s (host) bullhorn

— Great to see Will having another big showcase after breaking out in the last episode with his Tim Calhoun debut.
— The absurdity of this sketch is really working for me. I’d like to think Will wrote this sketch himself. Not only because he has a co-starring role in it, but because the oddball writing and dialogue is very much in his wheelhouse and has a specific Forte-type feel.
— All of Will’s various responses to Eric’s ruthless bullhorn sounds are freakin’ hilarious, made even funnier by the grim, sluggish delivery Will’s using. He has me practically on the floor throughout this sketch.
— Funny turn with Eric now playing musical tones on his bullhorn instead of just generic horn sounds.
— Yeah, the more I listen to this dialogue, the more I’m convinced that Will had to have written this. Or at the very least, perhaps the writing team of Slovin & Allen wrote this, as they would prove to have a knack for tapping into Will’s oddball qualities and utilizing them perfectly (the soon-to-debut Falconer sketches).
— Very funny turn with Will surprisingly ruling Eric “not guilty” just because, as he tells Eric, “I like the cut of your jib.” Such a priceless line.
— I love the ending, with Eric IMMEDIATELY following Will’s generous “not guilty” ruling of him by playing the annoying bullhorn sounds once again, quickly diminishing Will’s goodwill towards him, leading to him sternly telling Eric during the sketch-ending audience applause, “Mr. Marshall, I’m trying to HELP you.”
— Overall, such a great absurd sketch that’s probably forgotten by most SNL fans after all these years. Only four episodes into his SNL tenure, and only two big roles for him so far, and Will is ALREADY emerging as a champion and a dependable performer in this shaky season.
STARS: ****½


VERIZON
Ellen Frankel encourages voters to call Andrew Talarico’s home phone

— Aaaaaaand these have officially gotten old. Enough of these, before they go the route of those insufferable Corona ads from earlier this season, where I have to contemplate giving out negative stars in my rating.
STARS: *


Z105
voiceplay of morning deejay Joey Mack (JIF) victimizes politician (host)

— Meh, the debut of these Z105 sketches, which I am NOT eager about revisiting. All I remember from these is nothing but idiotic, juvenile bathroom humor.
— So far in tonight’s installment, Jimmy is at least showcasing a nice and fun range of different voices that he’s constantly going back and forth between.
— Aaaaaand there’s all that idiotic, juvenile humor I mentioned earlier. Not caring for this.
— Ugh, and there goes the “He pooped his pants” routine, the bane of these Z105 sketches, and the main thing I’ve always remembered about hating in these.
STARS: **


JOHN HANCOCK LIFE INSURANCE
alarmist scenario demonstrates need for coverage

— At least we’re getting a different pre-taped commercial from those tedious and unfunny political attack ads.
— Yet another role for Rachel tonight. I’m very happy to see her being so heavily utilized in this episode, after how underused she’s been for most of this season.
— Rachel and Eric’s dead-serious discussion of absurd things like knife-wielding hobos and sex in a Waffle House parking lot is pretty funny, as is the accompanying disclaimers on screen about such things.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Beyonce [real] perform “’03 Bonnie & Clyde”


JACKASS THE MUSICAL
stunts meet songs when show-offs perform showtunes

— Funny concept of a musical for the then-recently-released Jackass The Movie, of all things.
— The unintentional delayed timing from the guy in the panda bear costume tackling Seth gets a laugh from the audience (and Eric). I can’t help but wonder if it’s a giggling Horatio Sanz inside that panda bear costume. That would certainly explain some things.
— Parnell’s ending voice-over, regarding Jackass The Musical: “Just like your favorite musicals of the past… only with puking.”
— This overall sketch kinda fizzled out towards the end a bit, despite the fun nature of the whole sketch.
STARS: ***


STORIES
(MAR) embarrasses bar patron (TRM) by debunking his braggadocio

— Another Tracy/Maya semi-dramatic slice-of-life sketch.
— I’m surprised that Tracy is just NOW making his first and only appearance all night, all the way at the very end of the show. His airtime had been doing well this season. Oh, well, at least his appearance here is still a lead role, one that utilizes his distinct performance style well.
— Tracy’s embellished stories and Maya subsequently setting the record straight on what really went down in Tracy’s stories are pretty solid. And I love the general atmosphere of this sketch. It makes this feel like a scene from a movie or something.
— A good cheap laugh from Maya’s line about Tracy leaving “serious streaks in his drawers”.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A mediocre episode. While there were two truly great things tonight, one being a strong Rachel Dratch showcase and the other being a forgotten-but-delightful early-era Will Forte piece, they were surrounded by a lot of meh and a few outright terrible things.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (John McCain)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Nia Vardalos

Posted on

October 19, 2002 – Senator John McCain / The White Stripes (S28 E3)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

IRAQI STATE TELEVISION
on election day, Iraqi TV covers Saddam Hussein’s overwhelming victory

— Pretty funny concept of showing Iraq’s election, with Saddam Hussein facing off against nobody.
— Solid bit with Maya leading us through the “confusing” ballot.
— Funny picture of a horrified Fred and Seth as two “no-voters”.
— Wait, Horatio is Saddam now? Wasn’t Darrell just given the Saddam role in the preceding episode? Man, things haven’t been going too well for Darrell this season so far, between having his Bush impression (rightfully) yanked away from him before it could even make it on the air in the season premiere, and now him having his Saddam impression yanked away from him after it’s made it on the air.
— Hilarious detail of “We Built This City” being Saddam’s campaign song.
— Horatio’s goofy portrayal of Saddam is fine as a one-time thing here, but I don’t think I’m going to care too much for it as a soon-to-be recurring impression.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
Fericito gives host tips on how to improve his comedic delivery

— Early on this monologue, John McCain is immediately displaying a likability and a good sense of humor.
— Fericito already becomes recurring, after debuting only two episodes ago. I wonder if this is a record for the earliest in a featured player’s tenure that a character of theirs has become recurring.
— When Fericito first enters this monologue, a few stray pieces of confetti can be seen falling from above, which is apparently left over from the end of the cold opening when Horatio’s Saddam was giving his victory speech.
— John’s attempt at imitating Fericito’s goofy facial expression is hilarious (the last above screencap for this monologue).
— Good bit with John giving Fericito a serious speech denouncing the stereotyping of Latin-American culture. Also a good sudden turn when he reveals that he was “just keeeediiiiiing!”
— Despite being one-note, Fericito continues to be fun… for now. Unless there’s a nice, long gap between this monologue and Fericito’s next appearance, I’m sure I’ll get tired of this character pretty soon.
— Interesting ending with John wrapping up the monologue while SNL’s costumers are getting him dressed into his costume for the next sketch, while the green screen for that sketch is being set up behind him (screencap below).

I’m always a sucker for rare times when monologues end by showing the host getting into costume for the next sketch (e.g. Bill Hader’s season 43 monologue).
STARS: ***


HARDBALL
John Ashcroft (host) & Harry Belafonte (TRM) say crazy things

— A new opening title sequence for these Hardball sketches.
— John is giving a solid performance as John Ashcroft, and he has plenty of great lines.
— I love Darrell-as-Chris-Matthews’ eagerness to hear his guests spout off crazy statements.
— A huge laugh from Tracy’s Harry Belafonte flat-out stating “Osama Bin Laden is an Uncle Tom!”, as well as Chris Matthews’ response to that: “Good God, I can’t even figure out who that’s offensive to.”
— Ashcroft’s line about Shaquille O’Neal being a terrorist sleeper agent because he once did a “Middle Eastern-flavored” movie titled Kazaam is great.
— So many laughs from Belafonte spitting out batshit insane one-liners on cue, such as “Poodles are the black man of the dog world!” and “Pokemon’s a slave trader, Pikachu’s a slave master!”
— Priceless closing line from Rachel, claiming that blowing up one embassy doesn’t make someone a terrorist, just as baking one cake doesn’t make someone a baker, or painting one painting doesn’t make someone a painter.
— Chris Matthews: “(singing to the tune of “Banana Boat Song”) Crazo, craaaazo, Belafonte is a crazy mofo”
— Overall, this has got to be the crème de la crème of Hardball sketches. As many great Hardball installments as there are over the years, I can’t think of any that equal this outstanding installment.
STARS: *****


TO LOVE, HONOR AND STALK: THE GILLIAN WOODWARD STORY
feminist Lifetime Original Movie demonizes invasion of personal space

real-life personal space invadee (RAD) says it actually was no big deal

— The overly-long opening disclaimer read by Jim Downey is giving me bad flashbacks to that parody that SNL did of The Real World in the Shannen Doherty episode from season 19, though the disclaimer in tonight’s sketch is probably an accurate parody of disclaimers in Lifetime’s movies.
— I like the actor credits displayed on the bottom of the screen during Amy’s opening scene, especially the credits for random actors who are Lifetime movie staples (e.g. Valerie Bertinelli, Nancy McKeon).
— So far, this is a spot-on and fun parody of Lifetime movies, especially Maya’s cliched dialogue as the best friend of the main character.
— John is priceless in this creepy stalker role, perfectly playing the type of character you’d never expect to see him play.
— At the beginning of the shower scene, a technical gaffe occurs in which there’s an accidental cutaway to a shot of a police station (which is supposed to be shown later in the sketch). This is the second consecutive episode with a gaffe of that nature, after one of the Corona commercials in the preceding episode was interrupted by an accidental cutaway to a plain black screen with the words “Corona #2”.
— John’s line “Shall I loofah your back?” is hilarious, and has always been my favorite part of this sketch.
— Some good laughs from the very questionable examples Amy lists off of how her husband “stalks” her.
— Funny visual of John sitting obnoxiously close to Amy in the courtroom’s witness box, with his face pressed up against hers.
— A decent post-movie scene with Rachel as the real Gillian Woodward.
STARS: ****


WAKE UP WAKEFIELD!
visual arts teacher (host) is a former hippie

— Rachel’s been getting good airtime tonight, which is refreshing after how underused she was in the first two episodes of this season.
— The Halloween costumes are adding a bit of a nice change to this sketch.
— John continues to be a very fun host tonight, this time perfectly playing a hippie burnout teacher.
— Rachel’s Sheldon has a lot of funny lines throughout tonight’s installment, especially the one about accidentally getting paint on the front seat of his mom’s new Volvo.
— A good laugh from John bringing out jack-o-lanterns made to resemble the original Steely Dan lineup, which prompts yet another funny line from Sheldon: “That’s a dead-on Donald Fagen.”
— Hmm, Horatio is playing his recurring teacher character in a much lower-key manner than usual tonight.
— Jimmy’s Randy Goldman character makes a passing mention of a classmate named Gerard Bradford, which is an inside reference, as Gerard Bradford is one of Jimmy’s real-life best friends since his school days, IIRC.
STARS: ***½


TV FUNHOUSE
“The Third Leg Of Justice” by RBS- trap set for The Ambiguously Gay Duo

— Our first full-fledged Ambiguously Gay Duo cartoon in three seasons (not counting Ace and Gary’s cameo in an X-Presidents cartoon in season 27), and our last Ambiguously Gay Duo cartoon until years later in season 33’s LeBron James episode, not counting the Best Of TV Funhouse special that would air in 2006.
— I like how Big Head’s unending obsession with Ace and Gary’s alleged gayness always gets questioned by his fellow villains.
— Ace and Gary’s interpretive dancing to the Five For Fighting song “Superman” is hilarious.
— A funny random bit with a disclaimer explaining why the hell former G.E. chairman Jack Welch has suddenly shown up in this.
— During the ending credits of this TV Funhouse, former SNL writer Adam McKay is credited with writing an additional joke.
STARS: ***½


MEET THE PRESS
host repeatedly denies that he’s running for president

— Darrell-as-Tim-Russert’s endless attempts to get John to say he wants to run for president in 2004 are very funny.
— I love how the ridiculousness has now gotten to the point where Russert asks John if he’s willing to run for president of Iraq.
— Tim Russert, to John, regarding President Bush in the 2004 elections: “What if he forgets to run?”
— John’s response to Russert’s above-quoted line about Bush: “I would call the president and remind him to run.”
— A very funny crazy hypothetical scenario from Russert, regarding if John would be willing to run against a re-animated Jimmy Carter zombie in 2028 if genetic engineering could extend the human lifespan. (I’ll just ignore the fact that John ended up not coming close to experiencing the year 2028.)
— Such a strong sketch overall. And between Hardball and this, Darrell’s been having his best night since the Calista Flockhart episode from season 26.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground”


WEEKEND UPDATE
soft-spoken candidate Tim Calhoun (WLF) proffers oddball initiatives

— While Tina’s long opening rant was a step up from her god-awful Seattle rant from the preceding episode, it was still meh. Tina has really not been herself this season so far.
— Who is that doing the off-camera voice of a singing Saddam Hussein during Jimmy’s Saddam/American Idol joke? It sounds like a woman. Is that Tina herself doing the voice while off-camera?
— Further proof that we’re in the early stages of Tina’s decline as an anchorperson: her preachy, clapter-inducing AIDS joke was cringeworthy.
— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring character debut! Wow, it’s seriously been a long time since I last used that line. I think the last time was way back in season 25. In retrospect, I probably should’ve used it when covering Fericito’s debut a few episodes ago, but it had been so long since I last used the line that I completely forgot about it until now.
— So great to see Will Forte not only finally getting his very first big role, but having his very first big role be Tim Calhoun, one of my all-time favorite SNL characters.
— Will’s voice, delivery, and panicked facial expression as this character are absolutely PRICELESS. Hell, even the detail of his hand mannerisms while speaking is great.
— Tim Calhoun is having so many hilarious random one-liners and revelations about himself. I especially like the mention of him having a “China baby”.
— Tim Calhoun: “America needs another big lake.”
— Overall, Will knocked it completely out of the park in his first big showcase, and he killed with the audience. A very promising sign of the greatness Will is going to be unleashing on us throughout his SNL tenure. I remember when tonight’s episode originally aired, this Tim Calhoun debut alone immediately made me a Forte fan, which I have yet to stop being to this day, 18 years later.
— Pretty funny ending joke from Tina, regarding a news story about a man having sex with a pumpkin.
STARS: ***


MCCAIN SINGS STREISAND
host turns the tables by mangling Barbra Streisand’s standards

— John once again showing what a great sport he is.
— A lot of laughs from John’s monotone, off-key, tone-deaf singing of Barbra Streisand songs.
— An excellent reveal of why John’s doing this: “I’ve been in politics for over 20 years, and for over 20 years, I’ve had Barbra Streisand try her hand at my job. So I’ve decided to try her job.”
— I love John’s vibrating moves while singing “Papa Can Your Hear Me”, and then following it up with a perfect aside to the camera: “Pretty annoying, huh? Now you know how *I* feel.”
STARS: ****½


MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
a cannibalism dilemma in chapter 619


TOP O’ THE MORNING
moody Patrick (JIF) & William (SEM) on Irish TV

— This sketch makes its debut.
— IIRC, this ends up being the only installment of this sketch where Seth wears a leather jacket over the sweater that he would always wear in these sketches.
— Right out the gate, this sketch feels like something straight out of Mike Myers’ playbook. I can totally picture Mike starring in this sketch (kinda like what I once said about Jimmy’s Nick Burns character). In fact, Mike actually did star in a recurring sketch similar to this. Scottish Soccer Hooligans Weekly, anyone?
— Jeff unfortunately makes his only appearance of the entire night in a very small role that fell pretty flat.
— This sketch is even featuring mechanical, by-the-numbers catchphrases, a staple of many a Mike Myers recurring sketch.
— The aping of Mike Myers (whether intended or unintended) continues even further, as Jimmy and Seth are now doing a “Not here, not now” routine when they try to fight back a crying outburst, which is awfully reminiscent of Mike’s “I’m feelin’ a little verklempt” routine whenever his Linda Richman character would get teary-eyed.
— Very funny goofy Irish accent from John. He’s adding a much-needed fun vibe to this otherwise extremely derivative sketch.
— A good laugh from the disturbing passage John reads about eating an eye.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “We’re Going To Be Friends”


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Pretty much a perfect episode. Okay, the Top O’ The Morning sketch was fairly weak and derivative, but John McCain made it fun enough. Other than that, this episode was not only filled with wall-to-wall solid sketches, but some of them were particularly strong standouts that’ll definitely be going into my end-of-season “Best Of” picks. And John McCain was truly a phenomenal host, especially considering his lack of acting experience. He was wonderful in every single sketch he appeared in. Overall, this episode was such a great turnaround from the worrisome preceding Sarah Michelle Gellar episode. I recall it being said that Lorne was so displeased with the Gellar episode (and I think the preceding Matt Damon episode as well) that, sometime after the Gellar episode aired, Lorne held a tense meeting in which he chewed out the SNL cast and writing staff, and ordered them to get their act together. That stern chewing-out must’ve been what helped lead to such a strong show this week. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last. While this season thankfully doesn’t turn out to be the season 20-like disaster year that the Gellar episode had a lot of us SNL fans at the time worried it would, the assuring solidness of tonight’s McCain episode also doesn’t lead to a stable season like it had a lot of us at the time hoping it would. This would go on to be a shaky season.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Sarah Michelle Gellar)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Eric McCormack

Posted on

October 12, 2002 – Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill (S28 E2)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
George W. Bush (CHP) notifies Saddam Hussein of impending regime change

— Parnell has now officially succeeded Will Ferrell as SNL’s Bush impersonator, after Darrell’s failed attempt at a Bush impression in the preceding episode’s dress rehearsal was given a hard pass by Lorne and got cut from the live show.
— The copy I’m reviewing of this episode is missing the first minute or so of this cold opening, which includes, at one point, SNL lampshading the new casting of Bush by having Parnell’s Bush say “I know what you’re thinking: I do look different. One word: Botox.”
— I believe this ends up being the only Parnell-as-Bush sketch in which Parnell wears a prosthetic nose. Not sure what the point of the prosthetic nose is anyway, as it adds nothing to the resemblance to Bush.
— Darrell’s Dick Cheney only seems to be there as security for viewers while we witness this debut of a new Bush impression. You know, I don’t know about other viewers, but I certainly don’t need Darrell’s Cheney as a security blanket to help baby-walk me through the “frightening” experience of seeing a new Bush impression. I’ll be just fine, thank you.
— Not too bad of a Bush impression from Parnell, though it certainly doesn’t make you forget Will Ferrell’s impression. Parnell’s impression is a bit more loose and less stiff than I had remembered it being.
— Cheney’s line about Cheech Marin being a Saddam Hussein lookalike is pretty funny.
— Parnell’s Bush has some okay lines throughout this. Nothing particularly noteworthy or memorable, but passable.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
vampires (CHK), (RAD), (AMP) are offended by host’s joke about slaying

— Amy’s vampire daughter character whining “I wanted to bite the Jimmy Fallon!” is pretty funny.
— A few chuckleworthy lines from Kattan throughout this, but a lot of this monologue isn’t anything special.
— This overall monologue was a complete waste of Sarah Michelle Gellar. Sure, the same could be said for Sarah’s season 24 monologue (and I did say that in my review of it), in which she just stood there while cast member after cast member hit on her, but at least that was still a funny and somewhat memorable monologue nevertheless. Tonight’s monologue, on the other hand, was nothing special at all, and, aside from the Buffy The Vampire Slayer connection, could’ve been done with ANY generic female host. Why have Sarah Michelle Gellar up there onstage doing pretty much nothing while the audience vampires get all of the “funny” material? Sarah has proven in the past that she’s perfectly capable of carrying great material on SNL.
STARS: **


SWIFFER SLEEPERS
kids in dirt-collecting pajamas clean by sliding around

— Blah, a weak, cheesy, and unfunny visual gag to base an entire fake ad around.
— This ad is way too cutesy for my likes, and the alleged “comedy” isn’t enough to balance out the saccharine cutesiness.
— I know Amy’s just imitating the general demeanor of moms you see in typical real commercials of this type, but there’s something sad about watching her overly-cutesy, cloying performance in this. I remember how, at this time, this commercial was one of the first things that made it sadly official to me that UCB-era Amy Poehler was a very different performer from SNL-era Amy Poehler.
— This fake ad ends with absolutely NO applause from the audience. If it’s because they didn’t like this ad (I certainly don’t recall hearing them laughing at ANY point during this), then I 100% support them on that.
STARS: *


SAFETY DAY
Be-Safe Gang’s (FRA), (AMP), (host) supposed street smarts are bad advice

— Due to the fact that the preceding fake ad went into this sketch with no audience applause, Parnell seemed a little hesitant and unsure of when to start delivering his first line. However, his first line, “And that was why the Indians deserved it”, was great, but, again, got NOTHING from the audience.
— Fred Armisen playing a character with his own first name. That may be because this sketch is based off of a comedy bit that Fred used to do pre-SNL.
— Amy’s whole sponge/ecstasy bit is hilarious.
— I like the obviously made-up terms that Sarah claims to the students that they can supposedly catch, such as “genital diabetes” and “crotch botchulism”.
— Fred bitterly telling Rachel “I hope you get assaulted every day for the rest of your life” is very funny.
— Fred’s bad demonstrations of “safe” ways to protect yourself against attackers are fantastic, particularly the pen-in-the-trigger bit. You can tell that the material he’s performing in this sketch is something he’s honed in his comedy act prior to SNL, because his execution of his portions of this sketch are coming off more polished and assured than than Amy and Sarah’s are (though they’re both fine in this).
STARS: ****


DENTIST
music enraptures inept romantic as he fantasizes about being a dentist

— A variation of Kattan’s Masseuse sketch from the preceding season’s Derek Jeter episode. Speaking of the Masseuse sketch, I forgot to point out in my review of it that Kattan’s character in it was apparently the same character he played in the seductive dancing/music sketches from the Teri Hatcher and Renee Zellweger episodes. The SNL episode guide that I borrow my sketch synopses from call this recurring character “inept romantic”. SNL Archives, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to think Kattan’s characters in these sketches are the same.
— I didn’t care for the Masseuse sketch, and so far, I’m not caring for this Dentist sketch either. In fact, this dentist sketch is coming off even worse to me.
— The fantasy-within-a-fantasy twist ending was very weak, and (rightfully) received absolute silence from the audience (once again tonight).
— A surprisingly fairly short sketch, but I’m certainly glad it’s over with, because I didn’t enjoy a moment of this.
STARS: *


TRANS AMERICAN AIRLINES
Trans American Airlines is proud to ensure security via racial profiling

— A lot of laughs from this airline proudly touting their new racial profiling procedure as their way of screening passengers.
— The way this is being played so perfectly straight and dry makes the brilliant and funny material even more brilliant and funny.
— Tracy, on the claim that the terrorists have won when airlines use racial profiling: “Why would terrorists want racial profiling? That’s how you catch ’em.”
STARS: ****½


CORONA
Corona drinker Craig (JIF) is full of beer & Miles Away From Sober

— An odd and unfunny commercial so far. I remember the Corona commercials that this is spoofing, but this spoof isn’t working at all.
— What makes this commercial even odder is the fact that Jimmy’s girlfriend is voiced by Amy but is physically played by a female extra (only shown from the back). I don’t understand that AT ALL. Why not have Amy physically playing the role? Or if you’re gonna have a female extra play the role, then why not have her saying her own dialogue instead of inexplicably dubbing Amy’s voice in for her?
— Overall, boy, was this lame. I went through this entire commercial without a single laugh. The audience apparently agrees with my negative opinion once again tonight, as I didn’t hear a single laugh from them during this commercial either, for the billionth time tonight.
STARS: *


LOOKALIKES
Saddam Hussein (DAH) seeks self-preservation by sacrificing look-alikes

— Darrell has become SNL’s new Saddam Hussein impersonator in the post-Ferrell era. That doesn’t last long, though.
— Kattan has been all over tonight’s episode so far. Maybe SNL felt bad about how very little he did in the preceding week’s season premiere, and are trying to make up for it tonight.
— Horatio’s walk-on as an extremely slobbish, morbidly obese Saddam “lookalike” is cracking me up.
— Horatio milks his exit by trying to make Jimmy laugh as usual.
— I could do without this turning into a cliched parody of the “How am I funny?” Goodfellas scene. Pure laziness.
STARS: **½


CORONA
Corona drinker Craig once again throws a bottle into the ocean by mistake

— (*groan*) A second one of these?
— Yikes, this already-dead commercial is made even more awkward by a bad technical error early on, in which Jimmy’s attempt to answer his phone gets interrupted by an accidental cutaway to a plain black screen with the words “Corona #2” (screencap below), producing a few seconds of dead air. Awkward as hell.

— Oh, how utterly hilarious. Jimmy drunkenly throws his beer bottle into the ocean AGAIN, because it was such a laugh riot when he did it in the first Corona ad. [/end sarcasm]
— Overall, this ad was even less funny than the first Corona ad, if that’s even possible . The complete lack of audience laughter during these Corona ads, as well as the lack of actual funny material, make me forget I’m watching a spoof and feel more like I’m watching the actual Corona commercials it’s spoofing.
STARS: * (If I could give out negative stars, I would here)


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Cry”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Dell Computer dude Steven’s (SEM) chipper demeanor belies his depression

TIF celebrates the blow dealt to the Jewish Federation Of Greater Seattle

Ramada sisters (MAR) & (host) describe life in the B-list celebrity scene

 

— As someone who used to absolutely HATE those “Dude, you’re gettin’ a Dell” commercials back when they originally aired, I remember how excited I was during the original airing of tonight’s episode to see SNL portraying the guy from those commercials and skewering his annoyingness and camera-mugging.
— Pretty good turn during the Dell Computer Guy’s commentary, with his doctor showing up and informing us of the Dell Computer Guy’s many psychological disorders.
— Tina’s overall rant about the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle did not work for me AT ALL. Unlike most of her traditional Update rants, this one was way too silly and exaggerated for my likes, and most importantly, it wasn’t the least bit funny.
— Jimmy occasionally doing a Norm Macdonald-type delivery and punchline to a joke seems to be a new thing this season, as his yodelers joke tonight was another Norm-esque bit, much like Jimmy’s smallpox joke in the season premiere. I don’t know if these Norm similarities from Jimmy are intentional or not, but I’m liking it. Jimmy continues to show early signs of improving as an Update anchor this season, while Tina continues to show early signs of going downhill as an Update anchor this season.
— Oh, god. As if I didn’t have enough complaints about the preceding season’s Hilton Sisters bit on Update from the Kirsten Dunst episode, now they do a variation of it by having Maya and Sarah play the fictional Ramada Sisters. Again, I ask, what is with SNL’s early obsession at the time with the Hilton Sisters, who weren’t even universally known yet?
— At one point in the Ramada Sisters commentary, Tina asks the sisters about Paul Thomas Anderson, which is interesting in retrospect, given the fact that Maya herself would later marry Anderson. I’m not sure if she was in a relationship with him yet at the time of this episode.
— The entire Ramada Sisters commentary went by without a single laugh from me (BTW, how many times have I said that about something in this episode?). A complete waste of time.
STARS: **½


MAKING THE VIDEO
grimy Christina Aguilera (host) likes getting “Dirrty”

— A promising idea to spoof the making of Christina Aguilera’s then-new “Dirrty” music video.
— The outlandish and insane things being added to this video to make it “dirrty” and skanky were really funny at first, but have kinda lost their luster after a while.
— Sarah’s performance is solid in this, and reminds me why she was such a well-liked host in her first two SNL episodes. She sadly hasn’t been getting many opportunities to shine in tonight’s episode. This reminds me that Sarah did an interview during the week of this episode, in which she expressed excitement and optimism over potentially becoming a five-timer in the future and potentially doing a monologue similar to Tom Hanks’ legendary Five-Timers Club monologue. It’s sad to think back on that interview in retrospect, as tonight would end up being Sarah’s last time hosting. She never got to reach that coveted fifth hosting stint, or even a fourth hosting stint.
— Something seemed to go horribly wrong during Dean’s portion of this sketch as Redman. He delivers his whole spiel EXTREMELY awkwardly and hesitantly, with lots of unsure pauses and painful dead air, as if he’s lost and has no idea what the hell he’s supposed to say. When I later saw a re-airing of this sketch in an E! rerun of this episode (NBC themselves never re-aired this episode, presumably because of how poorly received it was), they used the dress rehearsal version of Dean’s scene, in which he delivers his lines absolutely perfectly, with no hesitation or awkwardness. His lines in that version were also a bit different from his lines in the live version of the sketch. So what went wrong with Dean during the live version? Did SNL re-write his dialogue right before air, and he perhaps didn’t get to see the changes until doing the sketch on live TV? (Even if so, that’s still no excuse for him looking so lost and reading his lines so terribly and awkwardly. Lots of cast members over the years have had to deal with last-minute line changes on the air, which is part of the nature of SNL, and those cast members have handled it very smoothly.) Or did the cue cards accidentally get dropped during Dean’s scene, forcing him to awkwardly make up some dialogue?
— I like how Sarah and all the other performers hold a frozen pose for a long time during the sketch-ending audience applause.
STARS: ***


ARLI$$
(host) watches Arli$$ to avoid laughter-induced loss of bladder control

— The premise of using a DVD set of the supposedly unfunny comedy show Arli$$ as a form of bladder control is okay, but not particularly creative. Also, I can’t help but find it kinda hypocritical that this sketch is coming from such a troubled SNL episode like tonight’s. Judging from how dead the audience has been during a lot of portions of tonight’s episode, the audience would probably argue that tonight’s episode could be used as a form of bladder control just as much as an Arli$$ DVD set would.
— This overall piece was surprisingly very short and straightforward. No clever additions or anything. Pretty bland.
STARS: **


NO WRESTLING
TRM & LOM fail in their attempt to get host & musical guest to wrestle

— Ah, the return of the Tracy-chats-with-the-host-after-a-sketch bit, after the Garth Brooks and Jamie Foxx episodes from season 25.
— An okay reveal of Tracy attempting a ploy to get Sarah and Faith Hill to wrestle each other, but I prefer the previous Tracy-chats-with-the-host sketches that mostly just feature Tracy rambling and ranting about stuff in his trademark manner.
— Lorne, to Tracy, when finding out about his Gellar/Hill wrestling ploy: “I thought we had this discussion after the Reese Witherspoon/Alicia Keys episode.”
— Meh, a very predictable and cliched turn with Lorne following his scolding of Tracy by trying his own ploy to get Sarah and Faith to wrestle.
— Ah, it turns out that Lorne’s scolding of Tracy and then trying to get Sarah and Faith to wrestle was all part of Tracy’s plan.
— I love Tracy harshly telling Lorne “You can’t do nothin’ right!” and “I don’t know why I keep you around here!”, as if Tracy’s the boss and Lorne is working for him.
— We get a variation of the legendary one-liner “Go get me a soda… BITCH!” by having Tracy now tell Lorne “Go get me a Pepsi, biotch!”, which is certainly nowhere near as funny as the original one-liner, but I guess it’s a better choice than just repeating the original one-liner, which only worked really well the first time in the Garth Brooks piece and suffered diminishing returns when Tracy repeated it in the Jamie Foxx piece.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Free”


MY LOVE
(MAR)’s dedication to offering herself to her man (TRM) overexcites him

— Our second edition of the series of Tracy/Maya semi-dramatic slice-of-life pieces.
— Turns out that this particular Tracy/Maya semi-dramatic slice-of-life piece is more comedic than the other ones, as Tracy has lots of funny one-liners about Maya’s breasts in between her serious, deep, straight-to-camera poetic speech about her man.
— Funny ending punchline, with Tracy following the end of Maya’s speech by saying “I creamed my jeans back when you said ‘breasts’.”
STARS: ***½


CORONA
police pursue Corona drinker Craig after he beans a waiter with a bottle

— Aw, geez, I forgot about this horrible runner. Enough with these Corona ads already!
— Okay, I finally got an actual laugh in these Corona ads, with Jimmy beaning the waiter with a beer bottle. Not sure that cheap punchline was worth such a horrible set-up with the first two insufferable Corona ads, though.
— Once again, absolutely NO applause from the audience at the end of this ad. I lost count long ago of the number of segments in this episode that ended with no applause.
STARS: **½


BLAME SADDAM
Americans’ economic discontent is incongruously aimed at Saddam Hussein

— I’m enjoying all the serious testimonials, with Americans inexplicably blaming Saddam Hussein for personal issues they’re struggling through. Some pointed satire here.
— Even among these serious testimonials, Tracy (who’s been getting tons of airtime tonight, BTW) manages to get a huge laugh with his hobo character saying a very angry and pride-filled “You can’t threaten my way of life anymore, Saddam!” while searching for food in a trash can.
— Maya’s ending voice-over: “Saddam, America is pissed off. Maybe not at you, but you’ll do.”
STARS: ****


SEXUAL HARASSMENT SEMINAR
loutish Merv The Perv (CHP) undermines goal of sexual harassment seminar

— The debut of what would go on to be Parnell’s ONLY big solo recurring character, Merv The Perv.
— Unlike subsequent Merv The Perv sketches, this first one doesn’t feature an opening title sequence.
— When this originally aired, I recall this felt like Parnell was playing a character originally written for Will Ferrell. Watching this sketch again now, I can still see some Ferrell in Parnell’s characterization here, but I’m enjoying his performance nonetheless.
— Speaking of Ferrell and Parnell, Parnell has been VERY dominant in tonight’s episode, starring in tons of important lead roles, just like Ferrell used to. As I said in my last episode review, Parnell’s increased post-Ferrell airtime in the first two episodes of this season had me thinking back then that Parnell was taking over as SNL’s new utility star, which made me very eager, especially as someone who’s always felt that Parnell is criminally underappreciated and underutilized. Sadly, this spotlight that Parnell’s been receiving on SNL so far this season does not last. As early as the very next episode, he goes back to mostly being underutilized, pushed into the background, and relegated to lots of thankless straight roles. (*sigh*) Well, it was nice while it lasted, folks. I’ve heard some online SNL fans at the time theorize that, due to the very poor reception the first two episodes of this season got, SNL perhaps figured that Parnell’s Ferrell-esque airtime and Ferrell-esque roles was one of the reasons why this season was being negatively perceived by viewers, and thus, one of SNL’s ways of trying to “fix” this season was to go back to status quo with Parnell, by using him the same way he was used in his previous seasons. We may never know if that theory is true or not, but it is something to think about. I’d like to think the theory isn’t true, but you do have to wonder why Parnell’s airtime suddenly gets scaled back after the first two episodes of this season seemed to be pushing him hard as the new leader of the show.
— I like how snappy and fast-paced Merv The Perv’s constant skeevy one-liner responses to Sarah’s lines are. Solid delivery from Parnell here.
— The mock-PSA ending with Sarah and Parnell wasn’t anything special.
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very mixed and shaky episode, with a bit more bad than good. Even most of the good stuff was merely average or pretty good, with barely anything in the show standing out as great (which is especially a shame considering the VERY LARGE number of segments this episode contained). Most of the bad stuff, on the other hand, wasn’t just bad – it was worryingly terrible. This episode contained quite a number of what’s sure to be some of my least favorite pieces of this entire season. And not just sketches and commercials; even some individual moments within otherwise okay segments were particularly awful, such as Tina Fey’s Seattle rant and the Ramada Sisters commentary, both on Weekend Update, and Dean Edwards’ painfully awkward moment in the Making The Video sketch. I believe this episode has long had a negative reputation and I remember made lots of SNL fans at the time (including me) become very worried about the quality of this new season, and made us wonder if we were in for a disaster year on the level of season 20.
— Also, the studio audience of tonight’s episode needs to be addressed, because, my god, were they one of the toughest crowds SNL has ever had. So many moments in this episode were met with eerie silence in the studio, and a countless number of segments ended without ANY of the usual sketch-ending applause, as if the audience was flat-out REFUSING to applaud what they had just sat through. I recall an alleged audience member from this episode claiming online how, at one point in this episode, during a commercial break, the audience was so miserable that a large group of them started a “We want Ferrell!” chant. No idea if that’s true or not. I’ve always leaned towards it not being true, but who knows?


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Matt Damon)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
John McCain

Posted on

October 5, 2002 – Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band (S28 E1)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

NBC SPECIAL REPORT
Dick Cheney (DAH) rides a Tomahawk missile flying toward Baghdad

— Funny visual of Darrell’s Dick Cheney casually sitting on an airborne missile while snacking on a Lunchable mini-pizza.
— Cheney: “It’s nice to have a missile this size between my legs.”
— I could do without Darrell’s Cheney speaking on the phone to an unseen President Bush. It just brings attention to this new season’s lack of Will Ferrell, as well as the fact that SNL seemingly hasn’t found a new Bush impersonator yet. Actually, the original cold opening of this episode in dress rehearsal had Darrell debuting a Bush impression, but his impression reportedly bombed so badly that it got cut after dress and SNL had to scramble for a replacement cold opening. This Dick-Cheney-on-a-missile piece was originally a Weekend Update commentary at dress rehearsal, with Tina delivering basically the same dialogue to Darrell’s Cheney that Parnell’s Tom Brokaw is doing here in the live version. And getting back to the Darrell’s-Bush-bombing-at-dress-rehearsal thing, the very next episode has SNL giving the Bush impression to a certain other cast member (you’ll see who when I review the episode, if you don’t already know who it is), but SNL would end up going back to the Darrell-as-Bush route the following season. Geez, as you can see, SNL’s attempt to replace Will Ferrell’s Bush impression is ALREADY getting extremely troubled and convoluted. And if the notoriously horrible Bush impression that Darrell would do on the air the following season is the improved version of his original Bush impression from tonight’s episode’s dress rehearsal, you really have to wonder just how fucking bad that original version of his impression was.
— Cheney telling Bush over the phone that he refuses to ask Saddam to say “Dude, you’re gettin’ a Dell” kinda made me laugh, just because it’s always funny in retrospect to be reminded of those Dell computer commercials from this time period. The following week’s episode will have a whole Weekend Update commentary about it.
— That’s it? This cold opening’s over already? This was unusually short and, despite a few highlights, fairly unremarkable for a season premiere cold opening. This definitely would’ve been more fitting as an Update commentary. Parnell’s Brokaw felt increasingly tacked on as this cold opening went on, and they eventually flat-out stopped cutting to him during the last minute or so of this, making it even more obvious that he wasn’t part of the original script.
STARS: **½


OPENING MONTAGE
— Same montage from the preceding two seasons. However, quite a number of changes have been made to the motif, including the removal of the scrolling SNL logos on the letterboxed top and bottom of the screen, and a new addition of a neon screen filter effect being used in all of the shots (some screencaps of the latter below).

— The initial shot of each repertory player (before their full name is displayed on the bottom of the screen) is now accompanied by their first name scrolling across the screen.

 

— When the cast members’ full names are displayed on the bottom of the screen, the font used for their names in the preceding two seasons’ opening montage has now been replaced with a new font. This new font strongly resembles the one used for the cast’s names in the season 23 montage (some side-by-side comparisons between season 23 and season 28’s name fonts below).

— Horatio Sanz’s shot from the preceding two seasons’ opening montage (first screencap below) has now been replaced with a new shot (second screencap below).

— Fred Armisen and Will Forte have been added to the cast tonight.


MONOLOGUE
feuding Justin Timberlake (host) & Britney Spears (AMP) stage a dance-off

— Good part with Matt Damon giving us examples of some of the big news stories over the summer that he wished he could’ve spoofed on SNL. I especially love his vocal impression of Mike Tyson.
— Pretty funny brief appearance from Maya as Justin Guarini from that summer’s hit new show, American Idol.
— Very interesting turn with Matt walking to the set of a sketch while talking about his favorite story of the summer that he’s about to perform a sketch about: Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake’s “angry dance-off”. A rare case of a full-fledged sketch being performed within a monologue.
— I find it questionable that THIS is the summer story that SNL (or Matt) has chosen to do an entire sketch about in this monologue. Matt and Amy are executing this well enough, but I just don’t have much interest in this type of material. In retrospect, this is the early stages of this SNL period gradually starting to rely way too heavily on the type of pop culture that I just don’t care for, not even in spoof form, similar to my recent complaints in the preceding season’s Kirsten Dunst episode about SNL spoofing the Hilton Sisters long before America at large even knew who the Hilton Sisters were.
— A laugh from Amy’s Britney saying “Oh, ya’ll, that makes my boobs hurt!”
— Pretty funny visual of Matt’s Justin doing The Robot to the song “Gloria”, of all things.
STARS: **½


NRA
the NRA says “happy hunting season” as the AFLAC duck is shot

— Two priceless and unexpected turns: the first being the Aflac duck showing up out of nowhere, and the second being Jimmy and Horatio’s hunter characters violently shooting the Aflac duck to bits. The latter had me howling.
STARS: ****½


BRIAN FELLOW’S SAFARI PLANET
porcupine & pot-bellied pig cause anxiety

— Not a bad choice for a lead-off sketch of the season, even if I know they’ll never top the last Brian Fellow sketch from the preceding season’s The Rock episode. It’s great that the once-notoriously-underused Tracy Morgan has now gotten to the point where SNL can confidently star him in the lead-off sketch of a season. A good early sign of how reliable Tracy will be this season.
— And now, here’s a bad sign of things to come this season: Horatio’s ALREADY a giggly mess for no apparent reason, only one live sketch into the season.
— Some good laughs from Brian Fellow confusing Matt’s normal description of the porcupine for dirty talk. I particularly like Brian saying “Hopefully, we’ll bleep that on the West Coast.”
— Funny turn with Brian randomly asking Matt, for no apparent reason, “Why does that pig hate Jewish people?”
— I love Brian Fellow casually mentioning an uncle of his named Kool-Aid.
STARS: ***½


NRA
the NRA says “take the safety off” as AT&T shill Carrot Top (SEM) is shot

— Another funny turn in these NRA ads, with Seth suddenly showing up as Carrot Top, spoofing Carrot Top’s AT&T commercials.
STARS: ***½


SPRINGSTEEN CONCERT
Denise misses her chance to go “Dancing In the Dark” with musical guest

— A given for this recurring sketch to appear in a Matt Damon episode.
— I like the passing mention of Matt’s character having gone out with Denise’s mom in the past.
— As expected, Matt is giving a very solid performance in this sketch.
— Why is Bruce Springsteen being represented by the arm of a body double? After all, Bruce himself is there at SNL tonight. He couldn’t be bothered to make a little walk-on during a sketch?
— I love how Springsteen (or his body double, rather) is unsuccessful in his attempt to lift Denise onto the stage, because, as Sully puts it, “He can’t lift the juggs!”
— In the middle of the preceding commercial break, when this sketch was shown being set up, one of the cast members heard being called by the stage manager to take their place for this sketch was Seth. However, Seth ended up not being seen anywhere in the overall sketch. So why was he called during the commercial break? Or was that him playing Springsteen’s arm in this sketch? If so, that may be the oddest utilization of a cast member in SNL history.
STARS: ***½


NUTRI-QUICK
Nutri-Quick Meal On-The-Go suppositories anally nourish busy workers

 

— A good laugh from the initial visual of the ridiculously huge anal suppository.
— Funny visual of Parnell stiffly walking away with his butt tightly clenched, after he’s taken the suppository.
— Meh at Jeff’s big tagline being an intentionally groan-worthy “Let’s just say I put my lunch… up my butt!”
— Strangely, the audience doesn’t applaud at the end of this.
STARS: ***


HANNIBAL LECTER GOES TO MICHIGAN STATE
Hannibal Lecter (host) in pre-prequel

— A pretty strong Hannibal Lecter impression from Matt, and a decent premise, showing Hannibal’s freshman year of college.
— I got a good laugh from Horatio cutting off Hannibal’s unsettling rant with “Just answer your message, asswipe.”
— The reveal of Hannibal sitting on the toilet during his current rant could be seen coming from a mile away.
— Some of these scenes are falling very flat with the audience, including the aforementioned toilet scene.
— I like the ending scene with Hannibal singing the WKRP In Cincinnati theme song.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Lonesome Day”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Red Sox fans SEM & host give Yankee fans tips on how to cope with losing

Venezuelan comedian Fericito (FRA) says JIF should employ a catchphrase

 

— During Jimmy’s smallpox joke, his delivery of the “big pox” punchline groaner and the way he stared down the camera afterwards with a deadpan facial expression were VERY Norm Macdonald-esque.
— Decent commentary with Red Sox fans Seth Meyers and Matt Damon giving tips to Yankees fans on how to cope with the Yankees being eliminated from the playoffs.
— The audience’s (initially delayed) uproarious negative reaction to Matt’s “You still have the Jets” comment is pretty funny.
— I like the whole “married to a black bear” bit between Jimmy and Tina. I’m seeing improvement in Jimmy’s Update performance this season. IIRC, over the course of both this and the following season, we’ll be seeing Jimmy gradually surpass Tina as the better anchor, though that also partly has to do with Tina gradually going downhill.
— Tina’s Ziggy joke bombed hard with the audience, though judging from her ad-lib afterwards, she had been expecting that reaction.
— Nice to see Fred Armisen getting an Update commentary in his very first episode.
— While I’m not laughing all that hard at this Fericito commentary, Fred’s performance is fun, and it’s very impressive how much he’s commanding the stage and working the audience in his very first SNL appearance. I remember being so taken by this when this originally aired.
— A good callback to Fericito’s earlier advice to Jimmy, with Jimmy following up his next joke with an “I’m just keeediiiing!”
STARS: ***½


DAMONS
Dr. Matt Damon (CHP) complains to namesake host about being overshadowed

— I love Parnell’s understated bitterness when recalling how he had his identity as someone named Matt Damon ripped away from him when the actor Matt Damon became popular.
— Very funny reveal of Tracy’s name being Ben Affleck.
— All the quick name rundowns when Parnell is introducing everyone are well-done and funny.
— A good random bit with Dean’s name being Dr. Julius Irving.
— Parnell’s over-excited attitude when finding out he’s cured cancer is a nice and rare display of Parnell going over the top.
— Solid sketch overall.
STARS: ****


VERSACE POCKETS
the extravagant way to enjoy a microwaveable meal

— A good out-of-the-ordinary setting for Maya’s Versace impression.
— It’s pretty funny listening to the audience gradually realize Horatio is playing Rosie O’Donnell, who wasn’t introduced by name (unless I missed it).
— Matt’s doing a very funny spoof of Axl Rose’s then-recent MTV VMAs performance, right down to imitating Rose being so out of breath after his performance.
— Maya’s Versace performance in this overall sketch seemed a little more low-key and half-hearted than usual. Even her usual trademark angry yell of “Get out” at the end was simply spoken in a monotone manner tonight. I prefer her more absurdist, cartoonish, fun take on Versace in the preceding season’s Hugh Jackman episode.
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
“The Smurfette Show” by RBS- blue sprite behaves like Anna Nicole Smith

— A random but promising idea to do a hybrid of The Smurfs and the Anna Nicole Show.
— A pretty well-done and accurate spoof of the trashy Anna Nicole Show, while also doing a spot-on imitation of The Smurfs’ animation and cliches.
— Nice touch having Jim Cummings do the voice of Gargamel.
— This overall cartoon kinda lost its luster for me towards the end, and should’ve concluded a little sooner.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “You’re Missing”


SEX ROBOT
(host)’s government-funded sex robot project has come to naught

— I love that Parnell’s been experiencing increased airtime tonight, now that Will Ferrell is gone. I remember that this and (especially) the following week’s episode both had me convinced at the time that Parnell was taking over as SNL’s new utility star, and was going to get Ferrell levels of airtime on a regular basis. (*sigh*) If I only knew better…
— A very funny random throwaway joke with Darrell’s name being General Mills.
— Good reveal of the “important” project that the government is expecting from Matt turning out to be a sex robot. I’m surprised that reveal didn’t get a better audience reaction.
— Solid fake-out with Amy turning out to be a real woman and not the sex robot.
— The actual sex robot just being a trash can with a gloryhole is hilarious.
— Kattan has only made two appearances in this entire episode, both appearances of which were just small supporting roles that anyone could’ve played, which already shows how pointless it was for Kattan to return for another season.
— I love Parnell’s line about “the question mark suit guy from those commercials” (Matthew Lesko) being the bane of the government’s existence. This sketch is featuring a lot of the kind of absurdity that I love.
STARS: ****


DR. PHIL
Dr. Phil McGraw (JER) offers wacky counsel to guests on his show

— A then-rare occurrence of Jeff starring in a sketch.
— Jeff is a great impressionist in general, but I’m not too impressed by his Dr. Phil here. The voice isn’t anywhere near deep enough. His performance itself is pretty good, though.
— A pretty good laugh from the very brief “Take your top off” scene between Dr. Phil and Maya.
— Will Forte (who words cannot express how excited I am to reach the tenure of) gets his very first laughs from me in this SNL project of mine, with the sullen, deep voice he’s using as Santa Claus, and his general deadpan demeanor here, the latter of which is adding a nice subtle touch of absurdity to this Santa role. And the whole back-and-forth between him and Jeff’s Dr. Phil is consistently cracking me up.
— Jeff’s goofy, chipper smile into the camera at the end kinda bombed with the audience. I remember it being pointed out on an online SNL board back then that Jeff had a look on his face during the goodnights that seemed like he was aware his sketch didn’t go over too well with the audience.
STARS: ***


THE WAR ON IRAQ
new reality series is coming soon to NBC

— A lot of pre-taped fake ads in tonight’s episode.
— An okay premise with presenting The War On Iraq as a cheery sitcom promo. And as always, Parnell’s professional voice-over adds a lot to the humor.
— Parnell’s voice-over, on one of the things to expect from this show: “Mustaches. Lots and lots of Tom Selleck mustaches.”
— Surprised this is over already. Felt like this had potential to be taken a little further.
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Not a bad season premiere, which is kinda surprising, given how this season will end up turning out. I can still see some early signs of trouble for this season, though. Tonight’s cold opening and monologue didn’t get this season premiere off on the best foot, and, as I kept pointing out throughout the review, the audience was strangely unresponsive to several parts of the show, something that would go on to be a recurring theme this season (especially in the very next episode). Most of tonight’s sketches were still good, though, including a few stand-outs in the post-Weekend Update half. Matt Damon was a solid host and fit well in SNL’s format.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2001-02)
a slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Sarah Michelle Gellar