Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
ON THE RECORD W/ GRETA VAN SUSTEREN
Fox News pundits don’t want Don’t Ask Don’t Tell to end
— I see they’re repeating the EXACT SAME joke from the first installment of this sketch where Fred played a panelist who kept getting ignored and cut off, only Bill is now the one playing the constantly-ignored-and-cut-off panelist. A very lazy choice to repeat that in tonight’s installment.
— Abby’s Attractive Blonde Lady character and her irrelevant points are a good spoof of Fox News’ reputation for hiring certain blonde women as on-air personalities just for eye candy.
— Like last time, I’m enjoying Jason’s Glenn Beck segment, even if I felt this one ended too abruptly.
— They even repeat the joke with Kristen’s Greta Van Susteren switching from talking out of one corner mouth to the other.
STARS: **½
MONOLOGUE
host struggles to remain mature upon seeing a bunch of awesome things
— I like how we’re shown a clip of Ashton Kutcher’s unique monologue entrance from his season 28 hosting stint.
— A decent conceit with Ashton forcing himself to refrain from having an excited reaction when seeing fun, crazy things happening in the studio.
— The whole Stormtrooper/Superman/Mark Twain bit towards the end is solid.
STARS: ***½
GERTRUDE’S WILL
gold-digging pool boy (host) got only venereal disease from an old lady
— The visual of Bobby in that wig and glasses in the initial cutaway to him is making me laugh.
— I got a cheap laugh from Bill’s line about the old lady “dying doing what she loved best: receiving oral sex from you.”
— Funny reveal to Ashton that the old lady had chlamydia.
— I got a big laugh from Ashton explaining he didn’t use protection when having sex with the old lady because “she was 110! What was she gonna do, give birth to a ghost?!?”
— Another funny line from Bill, about how the old lady gave Ashton STDs so old, they have racist names.
STARS: ***½
THE VIEW
Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, the Oscars, Mel Gibson (host) are mooted
— There goes those trademark unfunny formulaic rants from Kristen’s Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
— I liked Kenan-as-Whoopi’s line, regarding Don’t Ask Don’t Tell: “Personally, I don’t have to ask or tell. I just know.”
— Okay, I did get a laugh from Kristen-as-Hasselback’s random “If we don’t get an education…the Chinese win” line.
— Fairly funny story from Nasim’s Barbara Walters about seeing the movie Precious and mistaking it for Avatar.
— What…the…HOLY…FUCK is Ashton going for in his Mel Gibson impression?!? What’s with the gravelly, cracking voice? What is he doing?!?
STARS: **½
CIALIS FOR THREEWAYS
Cialis For Threeways sees to functional & emotional menage a trois needs
— An okay premise.
— Some good lines from the announcer during the various scenes we’re shown.
STARS: ***
SLAVE BOY
in ancient Rome, grape-feeding slave boy (host) preoccupies emperor (WLF)
— Will’s characterization and voice is hilarious.
— A few minutes into this, and Will’s aforementioned characterization and voice are the ONLY things this sketch has going for it. The material itself is doing absolutely nothing for me.
— Ashton’s “grape attack” was kinda funny.
— Weak ending.
STARS: *½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Mind Eraser, No Chaser”
WEEKEND UPDATE
just-awakened teen Liam (ANS) talks about dream instead of federal budget
Eliot Spitzer (BIH) presents greeting cards aimed at troubled marriages
Europe’s financial crisis fuels Jean K. Jean’s stand-up comedy material
Garth & Kat clumsily improvise tracks from their Valentine’s Day album
— The comically brief remembrance of the Democratic supermajority’s accomplishments seems like a precursor to a recurring gag from the modern-day Colin Jost/Michael Che era of Update.
— Whether intentional or not (probably not), Andy’s Liam The Teenager Who Just Woke Up character is a little reminiscent of an obscure one-off Update character Adam Sandler once played called Sleepyhead.
— Andy’s commentary is over already? Boy, that commentary sure was dumb, and not the kind of dumb that Andy is usually good at pulling off. (Then again, I didn’t care for Adam Sandler’s aforementioned Sleepyhead bit either, and, much like Andy, Adam was usually good at pulling off dumb humor.)
— Bill’s Eliot Spitzer impression always cracks me up.
— Speaking of cracking up, halfway through this Spitzer commentary, both Bill and Seth have begun giggling their way through it, continuing Bill’s transition from a Hartman/Aykroyd-level stone-faced performer in his earlier seasons to an almost Fallon/Sanz-level easily-breakable performer in his later seasons.
— The “Swallowzer” card Bill’s Spitzer shows at the end of his commentary made me laugh.
— Very funny line from Kenan’s Jean K. Jean about being so poor that, in place of a bidet, he has to use a squirt gun full of Avian.
— Kenan’s delivery in tonight’s Jean K. Jean commentary seems even more fun than usual.
— I love how Seth segues from an edgy sex offender/child molestation joke to saying a lighthearted “Valentine’s Day is approaching, so…” when turning to the other camera to introduce the next guest commentary.
— FOUR guest commentaries tonight?
— Fuuuuuuuuuuck. It’s Garth and Kat.
— I have nothing new to say about the insufferable, endless, self-indulgent comedy poison that tonight’s Garth and Kat commentary is foisting upon us.
STARS: ***
WHAT IS BURN NOTICE?
game show contestants puzzle over USA Network show
— A fairly interesting idea for a game show sketch.
— Jason is perfect here, especially his shrugging-type gestures and facial expressions when revealing something about the popularity of Burn Notice.
— Something about Kristen’s answers remind me of her answers in a then-recent game show sketch, Reel Quotes from this season’s Charles Barkley episode, though her answers in this one thankfully aren’t as annoying or long-winded.
— Some of the guesses about what Burn Notice is are pretty funny, especially Will’s.
— I like Jason’s unsure reaction when a contestant actually gets a correct answer for once.
— What was with the two different, overlapping “What…is…Burn…Notice!” group title readings at the end?
STARS: ***
ACCESS HOLLYWOOD
not all Best Picture nominees are “best” or “pictures”
— Ashton’s Billy Bush, during his sign-on: “I’m Billy Bush, and I will NOT apologize for that!” Little did SNL know at this time in 2010 that there later would be a valid reason to apologize for being Billy Bush.
— With her Anne Hathaway impression here and her Anna Faris impression earlier this season, Abby has now played two of the three female hosts of the entire season that preceded this. (Yes, that’s right, only THREE women hosted in a 22-episode season. Go figure.) I remember kinda wishing back at this time in 2010 that Abby would eventually complete the trifecta by playing the remaining season 34 female host she hadn’t played yet (Rosario Dawson), so Abby could have bragging rights that she’s the ONLY cast member in SNL history to do an on-air impression of every host of one or both genders from a single season. She would end up never playing Rosario Dawson anytime on SNL, though there was an opportunity in the following season’s Scarlett Johansson episode, in which SNL spoofed the movie Unstoppable. Rosario Dawson’s character in that movie was played by Scarlett in the SNL spoof, and I remember thinking “Aww, man, if Abby played that role, she would’ve completed the trifecta!”
— Meh at the joke with more and more movies being added to the listing-off of Best Picture nominees, and how the movies are getting increasingly off-topic.
— I do love the random mention of Bebe’s Kids, of all things, as one of the Best Picture nominees just now.
— I kinda like the ending gag where the listing-off of Best Picture nominees gets to the bizarre point where it’s now started to list off the same (real-life) nominees that it first listed off at the beginning of this sketch.
— No idea what to think about that intentionally annoying, screechy laugh that Nasim keeps doing. Something about it reminds me a little too much of her Kim Kardashian voice.
STARS: **½
AN EVEN-TEMPERED APOLOGY
Rahm Emanuel’s (ANS) ostensibly even-tempered apology is anything but
— A variation of a cut-after-dress-rehearsal Rahm Emanuel sketch from the preceding season’s Tim McGraw episode. That cut sketch was released by NBC online as an “Online Exclusive” shortly after the McGraw episode’s original airing. It follows the exact same format of tonight’s version of the sketch, only the lines themselves are different, as is the real-life controversial statement Andy’s Rahm Emanuel is apologizing for.
— This sketch is pre-taped, and you can tell by the visual look of the sketch, as well as the fact that Andy doesn’t pause for audience laughter at any point. I’m assuming the reason for this sketch being pre-taped is to avoid any mistimings of the bleeping of Andy-as-Emanuel’s frequent expletives.
— Andy-as-Emanuel’s aforementioned bleep-filled tirades are hilarious, well-written, and absolutely perfectly delivered.
— I absolutely love Andy-as-Emanuel’s threat to Sarah Palin that he will write shit on her Facebook wall so obscene, it’ll make her computer cry.
— Andy’s Rahm Emanuel, in a very deadpan, emotionless manner: “In conclusion: boo f(*bleep*)ing hoo. Get over it.”
STARS: ****½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “New Fang”
CRISIS OF CONFORMITY
at a wedding reception, former punk band (Dave Grohl), (host) & bride’s father (FRA) play hardcore
— Fun use of Dave Grohl.
— A sketch playing perfectly to Fred’s love of and experience with punk rock. Given how horribly, and I mean HORRIBLY, Fred had been doing on SNL lately, it’s such a breath of fresh air to see him doing something that’s actually funny, entertaining, and plays to his strengths.
— I love Kenan’s non-verbal reaction to getting wine glasses kicked out of the tray he’s holding. Bobby also has a funny non-verbal reaction when the same thing happens to him shortly afterwards.
— Nice save from Ashton when Dave Grohl’s microphone isn’t working.
— Tons of great, wild, violent energy all throughout the punk rock performance, especially from Fred. I cannot say enough good things about him in this sketch.
— I love Jason’s excited delivery of “Yeah, you are! Hell yeah!”
— The ending of this sketch kinda seemed like it got cut off, but I can’t tell. It may have been intentional to end like that.
STARS: ****
GOODNIGHTS
— As soon as the screen crossfades from the Ashton Kutcher SNL bumper to the goodnights, a laughing Jason Sudeikis audibly says “So fuckin’ funny!” to someone, then, when realizing he was on the air when he said that, he can be seen putting his hand over his mouth in shock with an embarrassed smile (the first above screencap for these goodnights – Jason’s the one in the blue hoodie right behind Ashton), then he immediately walks out of the shot (somewhat).
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A better episode than I had remembered, though still nothing special as a whole. Extremely average and pretty forgettable, but it did end on a strong note with the final two sketches.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
An Even-Tempered Apology
Crisis Of Conformity
Gertrude’s Will
Monologue
What Is Burn Notice?
Weekend Update
Cialis For Threeways
Access Hollywood
On The Record w/ Greta Van Susteren
The View
Slave Boy
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jon Hamm)
a big step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Jennifer Lopez
There’s a video on YouTube of Ashton right before he walks out on homebase. Interesting seeing all the host nerves that happen before they come out.
https://youtu.be/UOFbmhPbe2M
The Crisis of Conformity sketch is one of my favourite Fred sketches. Like a lot of people on here, I also loath Fred this season. So much so that it was such a shock to me the first time I saw Portlandia. I thought “how could this be the same guy?” He is brilliant in this and this may be one of my favourites of the season.
There was an SnL digital short in this episode. It had Them Crooked Vultures in it and had John Paul Jones saying “I was in Led Zeppelin.” I totally remember that part.
It was a “cut for time” digital commercial parody of Kutcher’s “1-yr-old” social network Twitter called Tooter (which was posted on the also-“1-yr-old” Hulu…)
https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/web-exclusive-tooter/n12716
God, what sort of terrifying S35 episode has a Fred sketch in the upper echelon and a Will sketch at the bottom? Scary times.
I actually quite enjoyed this episode, though; there’s a nice, writerly quality to it that a lot of S35, in its mission to milk recurring showcase bits, severely lacks. The pool boy sketch and especially the Burn Notice sketch, which is completely synonymous with Burn Notice to me, are highly underrated. Ashton as a host encourages the show to play with some rather dumb (not necessarily bad but dumb) premises, but he’s game enough that a lot of it floats by for me without too much trouble.
What is Burn Notice just cracked me up at the time because I had friends who loved Burn Notice and yet could not deliver a coherent explanation on what the show was about when I asked them. In fairness, it’s a little tricky to explain.
Ashton as Mel Gibson gives me shades of Dane Cook playing Saddam Hussein. There’s a “so bad it’s good” quality to it, even though it is VERY bad.
In retrospect, this episode is what made me realize that I enjoy the Wiig era, and that it’s my second favorite cast outside of the Ebersol years. I was told by some former message board users that this one had a negative reputation among fans when it aired, and that perplexed me because other than Garth and Kat I liked every sketch.
I can remember the show runner of Burn Notice got pissed over the sketch and played the old “SNL hasn’t been good since….” card on twitter.
Kutcher hasn’t hosted since. One more and he joins the five timers club
Hey Ruby. I Was Shocked By How Good Fred Was In That Last Sketch ! How Ever, I AM Also Shocked That You Liked The Early 1980’s May Be Your Favorite Years OF Saturday Night Live ! Except For Eddie Murphy And Maybe Joe Piscopo, That WAS THE Worst Years On Saturday Night Live ! I Thought You Would Say The Late 1980’s With Dana Carvey And Phil Hartman and Jan Hooks And Mike Myers ! You May Be TOO Young For The Original Group With Gilda And John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd !
Thanks to those above for mentioning the digital short. Gets much funnier as it goes along, especially Jenny saying she had just sort of like That 70’s Show and John Paul Jones deadpanning, “I was in Led Zeppelin.” Wonder why it was cut.
Speaking of Andy, I could swear he gave an interview about the “just woke up guy” either being cut after dress or only appearing once (he appears twice). I guess the cast does not remember this stuff as obsessively as some fans do.
Four times for Ashton Kutcher. As someone who had no real negative opinion of Kutcher (frankly, little opinion at all), that still surprises me. I guess he was very easy to work with. You can really see the struggle to fit him into roles in this episode – there’s only one part he is a good fit for (the pool boy sketch). He’s shaky in the Access Hollywood sketch and pretty terrible in the View sketch – otherwise he mostly does OK, which probably sums up his tenure in general. He was never a great host but he could have been much worse, and he did have moments which allowed for charm and humor. The pool boy sketch is mostly well thought out and executed, and it’s nice he had one of his strongest sketches in his final episode.
This episode apparently had a bad reputation among fans at the time – it’s certainly nothing special, but as someone who mostly finds this era to be a sea of mediocrity with some gems along the way, I don’t find it to be worse than the norm.
My favorite piece of the night was probably the Cialis pre-tape – it’s an easy laugh-getter executed decently enough, with Jenny very funny in the awkward “morning after” escape and Kristen very funny when ranting and raving Ashton as he zones out. I wonder if Jenny may be the first cast member to be much more at home in the pre-tapes than live – as the show has moved more and more heavily to that format, it’s become more commonplace (of the current cast, Beck Bennett and Heidi Gardner, among others, tend to fit in that category for me).
I’m going to have to defend the Roman sketch just a tad. Not in the UNDERRATED CLASSIC way, but in the I’d rather sit through this than the cold open or View way. For me it’s similar to the types of “epic” burnout pieces you’d get in season 5, only without the dead feeling that comes with being stretched out to all eternity with a cast that can’t wait to leave. Will amuses me, along with the grape attack, and Andy’s comedically intense performance help me along…and I do laugh (guiltily) at the “horse penis” line, along with the closing reminder from Bill about Ashton’s horse penis.
The cold open and View sketches mostly just serve to remind me of why I would prefer SNL not try to cover topics of the day if they don’t want to actually say anything about them. Two sketches that talk about repealing DADT, and the jokes are mild, if there even are any jokes – and airtime just gets clogged up on the bare minimum. What’s the point? There tends to be something soulless about most of the Fox News pieces we will be getting over the next decade – most of the cable news pieces in general – as I don’t get the impression anyone wants to do them but they keep popping back up because of the idea that SNL “has” to cover these types of outlets/conversations. The only ones I remember seeming to add much life is when Bobby/Taran Killam/Vanessa Bayer take over for a while, and that may be more down to their being good friends.
This may be peak Seth Meyers & Friends, sponsored by gigglesnort. Giggling through three straight commentaries. I do love Bill, but I can’t say I found anything in that commentary to laugh at (the choice of overdoing that fake deep chuckle did not help – it seemed like he got lost on the way from a 1978 failed recurring character), so seeing he and Seth corpse onscreen just feels like an odd viewing experience. I do enjoy Jean K Jean (not so much Garth and Kat, although I did laugh at Fred’s, “it IS, sir,” line), but even if I had been a huge fan of everything I was watching, I wouldn’t want the anchor to laugh their way through, especially when he still tries to do the oh-you-can’t-keep-doing-that part of the joke for the 6th time. I’m being a hypocrite here, because I don’t mind it when Seth interacts with Stefon, but at least with Stefon, they eventually work this into the writing instead of it just being a humming hee-hee in the background. There must be some kind of middle ground between complete coldness and being too clubby and chummy.
The last sketch is a nice change of pace – if you’re going to get self-indulgence this isn’t a bad way to get it. Fred and Bill have a few more of these, I know, and I mostly enjoyed those too. I think it helps, whether that was in the original ending or not, that we don’t have the expect conclusion of everyone at the wedding being upset, and instead they just enjoy themselves.
I sort of like the concept of the Access Hollywood sketch, but Ashton and Nasim bring it down for me with their performances. They don’t really seem necessary to the joke. It doesn’t help that they already have two “crazy” entertainment anchors (who will appear again in the very next episode), so you mostly just end up wondering why Bill and Kristen aren’t in these roles, other than, again, not having any idea what to do with Ashton.
The Burn Notice game show is a bit of a quiet strength, helped by Jason (the king of quiet strength on SNL). I wonder if this was Mulaney/Rich/Sawyer, as it feels very Mulaney. The interesting part is Ashton would go on to star in his own show that got a lot of “This has been on for how many years and I’ve never heard of it???” comments, until said show (The Ranch) became known for all the wrong reasons.
You mentioned Andy talking recently about the teenager who just woke up character, and getting some facts wrong. If I’m thinking of the same interview (a second chance theater interview on Seth’s show) it’s actually Mulaney who suggested it never got on air. He tells a story about how him, Andy, and Jost stayed up writing it, and how after they turned it in at like 5am Andy says ‘oh wait, maybe we should have called him ‘Bedhead Jones’, and John jokes that calling him that may have saved it. But clearly it got on multiple times so there was no ‘saving’ necessary. The thing Andy said recently(ish) about this character is that it wasn’t a character he wanted to do, and that Jost wrote it and made him do it. If that is the case, it maybe explains why he doesn’t sell the silliness as well as he usually does – he just didn’t think it was that funny.
Hey John. I Don’t Remember Heidi in Any Taped Pieces ! However, Beck Does Very Well Except I Don’t Like Holes ! Aidy Does Very Well And So Does Chris Redd And OF Course Pete Davidson ! !
Thanks. I knew somebody said it.
I don’t really mind this one, but yeah, you can tell Andy’s heart isn’t quite in it.
“I have nothing new to say about the insufferable, endless, self-indulgent comedy poison that tonight’s Garth and Kat commentary is foisting upon us.”
Get ready to say this 8 more times…
Next time, we get that sketch with Smash Mouth in the kid’s bedroom, one of my favorite sketches of all time, and one that will probably never be seen again in reruns due to copyright.
I think Alex Baze, who usually worked on (and would run) Update, wrote the Cialis commercial.
Mulaney, Rich, and Sawyer wrote the pool boy sketch.
I hardly remember this ep but if Garth and Kat are in it, I’ve probably seen it (to my everlasting regret)…
Stooge, starting with Season 45, can you please continue your SNL A Day Project 2.0?
Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.
Not Stooge, but several commenters from this blog have started up the One SNL a Day Project 2.0! You can find it here:
https://onesnladay2.wordpress.com/