December 19, 2009 – James Franco / Muse (S35 E10)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE LAWRENCE WELK SHOW
Dooneese creeps out a Mexican singer (host)

— So now this usually-post-monologue sketch has “graduated” to the cold opening slot? At least we’re getting a non-political opening.
— A rare host appearance in the cold opening.
— Blah. The same-old, same-old Dooneese routine that only worked for me the first time. Nothing to really say about it here.
STARS: **


MONOLOGUE
host pulls acting gigs for the new year from a bin of career ideas

— I like the fake-out with James Franco mentioning the title of a movie he was recently in, which the audience gives their obligatory applause to, only for him to reveal the movie doesn’t even exist.
— James: “Unlike last year, I don’t have a movie to promote. But SNL doesn’t have an election this year, so we’re all gettin’ by with a little less.”
— An okay idea of James pulling career suggestions out of a bin.
— Ugh at the suggestion of James picking a town and having sex with every woman in it, a joke that hasn’t aged well.
— After reading a suggestion about James making this the best SNL Christmas show of all time, I chuckled at James responding “Not a chance!” At least SNL’s not getting anyone’s hopes up, given how this episode turns out (not very good, IIRC).
STARS: **½


WHAT UP WITH THAT?
Mike Tyson & Jack McBrayer [real] on holiday episode

— Unlike previous What Up With That installments, in which Will does his announcements while standing next to the backup singers (Jenny and Nasim), Will does his announcements tonight from a separate set, which would go on to be a regular thing for him and future What Up With That announcer Taran Killam in all subsequent installments of this sketch…or at least all subsequent installments I’ve seen. I have yet to see the recent SNL At Home edition of this sketch from 2020, so I don’t know who, if anyone, played the announcer in that one. Thanks in advance if anyone lets me know who it was.
— Holy hell, Mike Freakin’ Tyson!
— For some reason, the gold chain that Jason usually wears in these sketches is being held in his hand when he and Fred first pop up in tonight’s installment.
— Ah, now Jason is wearing the gold chain the second time he and Fred pop up. I wonder why he held it in his hand in his earlier appearance in this sketch.
— It’s always hilarious in these What Up With That sketches whenever Jason gradually slows down his dance when the music slows down while Kenan introduces the character played by that night’s SNL host.
— This sketch is feeling more and more routine each time it appears, but as always, it’s a lot of fun.
— I love Andy as a dancing John Stockton.
— Jason is going particularly wild with his dance moves tonight, which is, of course, a plus.
STARS: ****½


AFFECTIONATE FAMILY
girlfriend (ABE) warms to intimacy of (host) & rest of Vogelcheck family

— OH, GOD. Figures that SNL would follow one of the most fun recurring sketches of this era (What Up With That) with one of the most miserable recurring sketches from this era.
— For some reason, it feels kinda odd seeing Kenan participating in the usual man-on-man kissing in this recurring sketch.
— As always, this is fucking insufferable.
STARS: *


THE TIZZLE WIZZLE SHOW
kids program has host, jammies, knives, pills

— Spot-on spoof of typical pre-schooler shows that air on channels like Nick Jr.
— Hilarious dark turn with the sudden involvement of knives, pills, and a glow-in-the-dark murder spree, all being presented in an upbeat, kid-friendly manner.
— Perfect ending, and I love James’ emotional breakdown.
— Overall, short but sweet. A very strong and funny display of dark and disturbing humor.
STARS: ****½


THE MANUEL ORTIZ SHOW
Latin rhythm eclipses infidelity revelation

— The debut of a recurring sketch that I’ve never liked. Damn, between the Affectionate Family and now this (and even The Lawrence Welk Show, as Fred plays the title role of that), how many bad Fred Armisen-starring recurring sketches can one episode feature?
— Only a minute into this sketch, and SNL has already run the “every guest’s entrance and exit features everybody dancing, to the exact same song each time” gag into the fucking ground.
— Something about the way Kenan looks in his walk-on is actually making me laugh, which is more than I can say for the rest of this sketch.
— Ugh, these one-joke dance routines are so increasingly unbearable.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Uprising”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Jersey Shore’s Snooki (BOM) & The Situation (BIH) are cartoonish Italians

unprepared Garth (FRA) & Kat (KRW) make up holiday songs on the spot

— The debut of Bobby’s memorable Snooki impression.
— Despite being the cliched brash-guy-plays-a-woman trope, and despite the material being thin at some points, Bobby, in typical Bobby Moynihan fashion, is making this role a lot of fun.
— Funny walk-on from Bill as The Situation.
— OH. FUCKING. NO. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! In tonight’s night of debuts, we get the debut of one of THE absolute nadirs not only of this SNL era, but of SNL history: fucking Garth and Kat. (*groan to end all groans*) And I had to open my mouth earlier in this review when I asked “how many bad Fred Armisen-starring recurring sketches can one episode feature?”
— Such self-indulgent bullshit with Fred and Kristen, the designated stars of this season, being given free rein to waste so much airtime with this painfully unfunny improv game routine that’s just an excuse for them to crack each other up on the air. Save this shit for behind the scenes.
STARS: **½


FRAT PLEDGE
mentally-slow fraternity brothers haze pledge (ANS) to learn basic facts

— For some reason, I’m cracking up at the horror music playing at the beginning of this sketch, during the fratboys’ hazing of Andy.
— Feels kinda like they’re revealing the main joke too early, but it’s still making me laugh.
— I love Jason’s performance as a loud, angry, deep-voiced fratboy, another example of Jason perfectly pulling off a Will Ferrell-esque role.
— When this originally aired, I remember it being pointed out by some online SNL fans that James seemed to be drooling throughout this sketch. That’s supported by the fact that, when James claps his hands a single time at one point, Andy has an awkward facial reaction, then, in an ad-lib, wipes something off of the side of his face while smirking out of character. James’ drool apparently got on Andy’s face when James clapped. I’m completely lost on how or why any of this happened. Does James have some kind of drooling disorder or something?
STARS: ***


VINCENT PRICE’S CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
James Dean (host) visits Vincent Price’s (BIH) 1954 Christmas Special

Marilyn Monroe (ABE) quickly shills for Asbestos

— The usual opening gag with Bill’s Vincent Price being the victim of a special effects failure came off kinda half-assed tonight.
— Kristen reprises her Katharine Hepburn impression from the second installment of this sketch, way back in season 31. Her Hepburn is being utilized much more in tonight’s installment, given that the previous installment her Hepburn appeared in was back when SNL was still experimenting with the format of these Vincent Price sketches and opted to have each guest in that installment make a separate appearance and then immediately leave.
— Unlike in the previous appearances Fred’s Liberace made in these Vincent Price sketches, the gay jokes involving him aren’t working much for me in tonight’s installment, but I always absolutely love Bill-as-Price’s reactions to him.
— They repeat a gag from the very first installment of this sketch, where the commercial break that Bill’s Price throws to ends up being very short, which he angrily questions afterwards.
— I got a big laugh from Kristen’s Hepburn cracking the neck of the raccoon biting her.
— The ending jump scare with a rabies-infested Kristen suddenly popping up in front of the screen while screaming was awfully similar to the ending of the Game Time With Randy And Greg sketch earlier this season.
— This overall sketch was good, but I sadly didn’t find it to be as strong as usual.
STARS: ***½


TREE LOVER
(host) is emotionally attached to evergreens on his Christmas tree lot

— I’m iffy on this premise of James engaging in increasingly detailed conversations with his Christmas trees, though there is something strangely kinda endearing about it. Maybe I’d like this sketch more if it was performed by a host far more adept at pulling off oddball roles, like, say, John Malkovich, Christopher Walken, or Steve Buscemi.
— I remember an online SNL fan back at this time in 2009 saying this sketch had a very season 6 feel. Not sure if I agree with that or not nowadays.
— Kinda tired of all the reaction shots of the straight man characters throughout this sketch whenever James is talking to a Christmas tree. Maybe I wouldn’t mind it if this wasn’t an SNL era that relied too heavily on cutting to people’s silent reaction shots whenever someone is doing something weird.
— Don’t care for the gag at the end with a tree actually talking back to James.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Starlight”


OFFICE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS
businessmen Carl, Jerry, (host) choose dildos for office Christmas gifts

— The third and final appearance of Will and Bill’s Carl and Jerry characters, a.k.a. the Fart Face guys.
— Is James supposed to be playing the same character Alec Baldwin previously played in the second installment of this sketch? Both James and Alec’s characters are named Troy, and both hosts wear the same wig.
— The visual of that ridiculous tiny toupee on Will’s forehead always cracks me up in these sketches.
— I always love Will’s delivery of “Carol, hold my caaaallllls!” in these sketches.
— All the dildo talk is very dumb, but is having me laughing out loud due to the solid execution and delivery. While this, to me, still doesn’t compare to the original Fart Face sketch these characters appeared in, it’s still better than their appearance from the preceding season’s Alec Baldwin episode.
— What the hell happened to the camera all of a sudden? While James is angrily saying “What a freakin’ fart face!”, the camera accidentally cuts to a close-up of a silent Bill instead of James, then the screen malfunctions and turns green, then turns gray, then cuts to a random close-up of a silent Will. Very odd.
— Fred has appeared in almost EVERY SINGLE SKETCH tonight.
— What was with the very abrupt ending? Was that even an ending??? This sketch just randomly faded to black after Will, Bill, and James yelled a whole bunch of stuff at Fred.
STARS: ****


MARK WAHLBERG TALKS TO CHRISTMAS ANIMALS
Mark Wahlberg (ANS) talks to a sheep, a partridge, a snowman, Rudolph

— Adding to my confusion over how abruptly the preceding Office Christmas Presents sketch faded to black, it’s immediately followed by this Mark Wahlberg sketch opening with a taped(?) Don Pardo voice-over saying “This has been Mark Wahlberg Talks to Christmas Animals”, as if the sketch is ending instead of beginning. What the hell is going ON?!? Tonight’s episode has gotten really sloppy these last two sketches.
— The first installment of this sketch is a classic, but, yeah, not sure we needed a follow-up. This doesn’t seem like that type of thing that’ll work as a recurring sketch.
— Andy’s execution is still solid, like it was in the first installment of this sketch, but the material is leaving a little to be desired.
— Hmm, all of a sudden, Andy now seems to be rushing through this. He’s also blatantly staring at the cue cards this entire sketch, which he didn’t (noticeably) do in the first installment.
— The ending almost got cut off, and they seemed to be in a big hurry to fade to the SNL bumper photo of James Franco. Yeah, they definitely rushed through this sketch. The show must be running long. I wonder if this is also the reason why the preceding Office Christmas Presents sketch ended so abruptly. I also wonder if this is why Andy blatantly stared at the cue cards all throughout this Walhberg sketch, as perhaps a lot of lines in this sketch were removed at LITERALLY the very last minute so they could squeeze this sketch in.
STARS: **½


GOODNIGHTS


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty meh Christmas episode, despite some good things. Further hurting this episode was the fact that we got quite a number of wretched recurring material (The Lawrence Welk Show, Affectionate Family, The Manuel Ortiz Show, Garth and Kat), all of which just so happened to star Fred Armisen and/or Kristen Wiig.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
The Tizzle Wizzle Show
What Up With That?
Office Christmas Presents
Vincent Price’s Christmas Special
Frat Pledge
Mark Wahlberg Talks To Christmas Animals
Monologue
Weekend Update
Tree Lover
The Lawrence Welk Show
The Manuel Ortiz Show
Affectionate Family


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Taylor Lautner)
a very slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
We enter a new decade. Charles Barkley hosts the first SNL of the 2010s.

25 Replies to “December 19, 2009 – James Franco / Muse (S35 E10)”

  1. Yeah, Fred ruined this episode. Yet, Lorne once called him “the glue.” I don’t what he ever saw in that guy. He just got worst every year. I wish he had left with Forte.

    This was a pretty bad episode. Nothing was great, including What’s Up With That. The Digital Short was disturbing, and Franco now comes across as disturbing and a creep.

    1. When did Lorne say that about Fred? I’m wondering how much of it was based on genuine belief in that statement and how much of it was hyping a continued member of his talent pool (what with SNL, Portlandia and Late Night with Seth Meyers).

    2. To be fair to Lorne, “The glue that holds everything together” is the kind of compliment you give to someone when you can’t think of anything specific to say about them.

  2. I wonder if it ever occurred to Forte to work the line “Carol, hold my caaaallllls!” into an episode of Last Man On Earth. Carol being the name of his character’s wife, of course. I like to think I’m the one viewer who would have laughed uproariously at that!

  3. The scary thing is the show obviously thought Garth and Kat was brilliant stuff when in reality it was two friends goofing off on air doing an entry level improv game. Seth’s uncontrollable laughter during any G and K are possibly his most shameless moments on the show.

  4. @Stooge, Mikey Day is the announcer in the at home WUWT. We only hear him rather than see him during the intro part, but he also plays a character in the sketch, so one could assume it was the same role if one wishes.

  5. I wonder how much of this episode can be chalked up to typical December burnout, or if James Franco—after documenting the show’s behind the scenes process and understanding how much work goes into it—wanted to give them an ‘easy week’ and let them do mostly lazy rehashes and self-indulgent bits. I’m probably looking too into it.

    1. Hey Ruby. NO, They Do NOT Have December Burn Out Other Times Like With Jimmy Fallon OR Justin Timberlake OR The Earlier Shows Like Candace Bergen ! ! ! I Don’t Know IF I Agree With James Franco Giving Them An Easy Week Either, But, I Was Not There So I Don’t Know !

    2. I Agree All Three Of Those Christmas Episodes Listed Do Not Have A Burn Out Feel… But That Leaves 40 Others Where The Jury Is Still Out I Wasn’t There Either Because I Was Home Reading Up On How To Format AP Style Headlines

  6. …I guess I’m the only person who likes Garth & Kat. And I’m okay with that. I get a kick out of seeing them crack each other up, plus it’s just a fun, silly concept to me. I particularly like the endings where they start out singing a normal song before devolving back into their weird improv. It’s predictable every time but it cracks me up nonetheless. Don’t really care for Seth’s reactions to them though.

    I did not realize the Manuel Ortiz Show is recurring, that’s disappointing. This one didn’t work for me, I doubt it would work for me again.

    On the other hand, the reprise of Mark Wahlberg talking to animals does work for me, actually. I just can’t get enough of Andy doing that voice. It’s good that they didn’t do it again as far as I know, though.

    Nothing else comes to mind to mention. I mostly like the recurring sketches (particularly What’s Up With That and Vincent Price) but they’re not the best ones.

    1. Hey Blue. I ALSO Like Kat And Garth ! I Like How Kristen Can Follow Fred’s Movements ! I Also Like That Normal Song Even Those That Doesn’t Last ! Blue, Did You See Either Sigourney Weaver OR Gwen Paltrow With Kat And Garth ! ! Blue, Did You See Chris Martin OF Cold Play With Kat And Garth ! I Thought He Was Great Keeping Up With Them Like He Did !

  7. Garth and Kat is annoying for the same reason that Frank Zippy and Hank Doodle thing (or whatever it’s called) Farley and Sandler did is annoying. It basically shows cast member seniority privileges.

    If two brand new cast members pitched Garth and Kat and did it in the same self-indulgent and unprofessional way Fred and Kristen did it, they’d probably get fired. The bit doesn’t annoy me personally but it’s more the principle of it that’s awful.

    1. Hey Ruby. Fred And Kristen Do NOT Have Senior Priority ! ! Bill Does Not Have Senior Priority Because He Does Stefon That John Mulaney Wrote For Him ! Nobody Has Senior Priority ! Fred And Kristen Would NOT Get Fired For Not Being Prepared When They Do Kat And Garth ! ! That Is A Comedy Bit ! They Only Fire People For Saying The F Word OR IF They Do A Bit About Sexual Harassment And Is Very Offensive Like Dave Gillis ! ! Dave Gillis Would Join The Cast AT A Later Time In 2019 I Think, But Lorne Decided Not To Take Him !

  8. Garth and Kat wouldn’t be as bad if they hadn’t repeated it SO many times. As a standalone, it’s just a bit of stupid fun. As a recurring segment it’s a waste of airtime, which takes away from new castmembers trying to get noticed. Give me Gilly over this crap.

    1. Hey Shawn. They Have Different Occasions And You Don’t Mind IF Seth Speaks To A Girl At A Party, But You Probably Like That ! They Do NOT Take Away From Cast Members When They Were Doing That ! They Don’t Even Have Any New Cast Members AT That Time ! I Hate Gilly Because She Does NOT Say Any Thing And I Don’t Like Her Beating Up People ! !

  9. Yeah, I didn’t mind Garth and Kat the first time; I thought it was good silly fun, a kind of intentionally goofy thing for a holiday episode. Since it’s so basic improv, it might have been a good showcase for some less exposed cast members, and Seth always acting like this is the funniest thing ever is death, but I could take it.

    And then it kept coming back and back and there was no real joke because it’s the same stupid improv game.

    I think the Manuel Ortiz sketch I liked best was when One Direction appeared just because of how hammy they were.

    This episode is basically like a clear example of how Fred/Kristen were being inexplicably labeled the glue of the cast and given way way too much exposure. The real glue was probably Jason and to some extent Bill–Fred to me was always too much of a niche performer to be a glue guy. Kristen was very talented but was just playing too many horrible characters at this point.

    1. Hey Michael Cheney. That IS IT ! I Agree With You About Jason And Bill ! I Liked What You Said About Fred ! You Hit IT On The Head With Kristen About Being Talented, But Playing Too Many Horrible Characters !

  10. Fred and Kristen getting the LFNY and Dooneese pushing the Jenny Slate sister back with her baby hands to get attention almost feels like trolling the audience, although I know that was not the case.

    This episode has a few original sketches, and one of them is actually pretty enjoyable to me (the illiterate hazing sketch); unfortunately I find Franco smarmy and offputting (especially his voice) and once again that ego is on overdrive (which Paul Brittain will memorably parody next season, if memory serves). He isn’t bad, but he’s not good either.

    If I have any “praise” for his work in this episode, it would be for the Kissing Family sketch, where he and Will Forte at least realize if the whole point of these gross, stupid sketches is to shock viewers, then actually kissing makes more sense than pressing closed lips together. I’m not suggesting people should kiss if they don’t want to kiss – I’m saying just don’t do these sketches in the first place. And now we have more people dragged in too. I have to wonder if they brought in another female character because of the accusations of homophobia after the first sketch.

    My favorite part of the episode is the Digital Short – Lonely Island have been on a hot streak with these lately. This is one of my favorites from them. Love the concept and love the execution. Absolutely fucked up stuff that is presented in a stripped-back manner rather than oversold to viewers. I also appreciate the choice to have the featured players as the other players, so we can have some level of unfamiliarity with them.

    As a few others said above, I don’t entirely dislike Garth and Kat – their team-up with Chris Martin is a bit of a delight to me, because Martin is so clearly having the time of his life – but it’s run so many times, it’s the same beat every time, and we have that tee hee, giggle giggle as anchor noise. If the alternative is the Fey era of tedious and masturbatory pandering, then Seth Meyers & Friends isn’t a bad thing, but this is the self-indulgent worst of that period. If you are going to fanboy, then the routine of pretending to be shocked or irritated makes no sense.

    The Vincent Price sketches steadily bury what was most special about them (Bill’s Price impression and his geezy-creasy bewilderment at the shambles of a Serious Auteur on an early, live television show) in favor of mugging and cheap gay jokes. Bill almost seems like a bystander by this point. Fred in these sketches is one of my definitions of SNL hell.

    The talk show sketch is a bit of a guilty pleasure to me – very hacky, but the image of everyone frantically dancing for every dramatic moment (and increasingly silly moments) is a good way to use energy to add some life to the usual overwrought stereotypes in these Hispanic sketches. Sad that this is made recurring for no reason, like so many at this time…

    Fart Face is another sketch that worked best as a one-and-done, but this installment has a certain charm, helped by veering in a different direction. Bill and Will are great contrasts here, performance-wise.

    (a part of me wishes that in this final sketch, Carol had been revealed as the Horatio Sanz Carol, just for peak insanity, but heads likely would have exploded at the sheer horror)

    Here is Simon Rich talking about the frat sketch:

    https://www.vulture.com/2016/01/simon-rich-favorite-obscure-saturday-night-live-sketches.html

    “Some of my all-time favorite sketches have a really a simplistic conceit. This is probably the simplest, some might say stupidest, sketch I ever worked on. It is literally one joke said in increasingly loud voices. Seth Meyers made fun of me for this because it set the record for fastest turn — I just bluntly state the premise like four lines in. I had seen a fraternity hazing ritual at some point where somebody kept saying, “What does this say?” and my mind just naturally went to the premise, which was, “Wouldn’t it be funny if the reason they keep chanting that is not out of macho strength but out of desperate weakness?” It’s something that always made Mike O’Brien and I laugh.”

  11. Hey Stooge. I Think That You Have your Favorites ! You LOVE Jason And Bill And Will Forte ! ! ! You Tend To Like Bobby And Some times Andy ! ! You Can NOT Stand Fred OR Kristen ! ! First OF All, Kat And Garth Are NOT THAT Bad ! You Think They Are So Smug And IT Is Bull Shit , BUT, You Don’t Think That With Jason And Will As Jon Bovi ! ! You Would Probably Hate IT IF Garth And Kat Could Not Count Right, But You Don’t Mind IF Will Counts The Wrong Way ! You Would Probably HATE IT IF They Would Say Christmas After Their Songs, But IT Is Fine IF Jason And Will Say Christmas After Their Songs ! Don’t Get Me Wrong ! I Also LOVE Jason And Will Doing Jon Bovi And I LOVE Opposites Because i LOVE Puns And Double Meanings And Play On Words ! You Would Hate IT IF Fred Had Played Snookie, But You Like Bobby Playing Snookie ! You Would Think IT Is So Juvenile IF Fred Was Yelling Fart Face To Any Body And Especially IF They Had The Technical Difficulties, But You Still Gave That FOUR STARS ! Fred WAS In An Awful Lot OF Sketches, BUT, You Would Say Jason Had A Big Night OR Bill Was All Over The Place ! ! You Would Love IT IF Jason Followed Bill OR Will Followed Jason’s Movements, But You Can’t Stand Kat and Garth ! Actually ,I Like Kat And Garth Especially When Chris Martin OF Cold Play Was With Them ! Also, IS Kat And Garth Worse Than Trina Or The Thomas Lady OR Surprise Sue OR Especially Gilly ? I Think Gilly Is Worse Than Kat And Garth Because Gilly Won’t Say Any Thing ! Also, You ALWAYS Say I Don’t Like A Sketch ! Oh, I Just Laughed Right Now, I Give This TWO Stars EVERY SINGLE Time ! Stop Anticipating That You Will Hate Some Thing And Just Watch The Sketches And Then Say I Did Not Like A Sketch !

  12. I guess unpopular opinion but BEST EPISODE! This season is my favorite. And yes writing wasn’t the best…but this episode was the height of what made this cast and writers the best SNL had since the glory days.

  13. If people want to know why they kept bringing Garth & Kat back, I know the answer. It’s because of me. They make me laugh every single time. So if you need a scapegoat, I’ll happily take the blame.

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