Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
MARTHA STEWART LIVING
homey tips class up St. Patrick’s Day
— A refreshing choice for a cold opening, and a rare non-political cold opening for this season.
— This feels like the first Martha Stewart Living sketch in quite a long time.
— A big laugh from Ana’s Martha Stewart translating an Irish message as “You must be Irish, ’cause my penis is Dublin.”
— As usual, lots of funny lines from Ana’s Martha all throughout this, even if there’s a bit of a one-note feel to all of the drinking-related stuff after a while.
STARS: ****
MONOLOGUE
TRM hopes he & host can reprise interracial kiss from Save The Last Dance
— Julia Stiles quickly mentions in passing that this is SNL’s 500th episode, before immediately getting interrupted by Tracy. I remember being bothered at the time that SNL didn’t make a much bigger deal about this being their milestone 500th episode, and also didn’t get a more SNL-related host for it.
— A Tracy Morgan-centric monologue in the tradition of Charlize Theron’s monologue and the backstage sketches that Tracy did with Garth Brooks and Jamie Foxx. And just like in those, Tracy is a riot just being his natural self. He’s effortlessly funny in stuff like this.
STARS: ***½
HOMOCIL
Rerun from 2/17/01
WAKE UP WAKEFIELD!
Megan (MAR) & Sheldon (RAD) emcee middle school show
— This soon-to-be-recurring sketch makes its debut.
— Already some pretty good laughs right out of the gate from the shy awkwardness of Rachel’s Sheldon character.
— This sketch and the performances in it are accurate at portraying a typical awkward middle school atmosphere. There’s a charm to this.
— I like Sheldon’s line “Things are weird at home.”
— I remember when this episode originally aired, Horatio’s teacher character reminded me so much of the Driver’s Ed teacher that I currently had at the time. Horatio’s character reminded me of him not just in personality, but even in looks. Watching Horatio’s character now, all these years later, takes me back to those high school days of mine.
— The second segment in a row tonight with someone hyperventilating into a brown paper bag at one point, with the first instance being the rerun of the Homocil commercial.
— I like Sheldon’s little hand salute when signing off at the end.
STARS: ***
POST OFFICE
(host) gives attitudinal postal worker Jackie a taste of her own medicine
— Oh, no. Not the return of these tepid characters from the airport sketch in the Mena Suvari episode. Thankfully, though, this ends up being their final on-air appearance. There was another sketch of theirs planned for the following season’s Derek Jeter episode, in which Maya’s character, Jackie, works at the ticket booth at Yankee Stadium (Jerry’s character wasn’t in the sketch, obviously, as he was no longer in the cast that season), but the sketch got cut after dress rehearsal.
— Odd how the first two lead-off sketches tonight, Wake Up Wakefield and this, both star featured player Maya and a fellow featured player (Rachel in Wake Up Wakefield, Jerry in this). It’s not very common for an episode to lead off with so many featured player-starring sketches.
— I see Maya’s Jackie character has replaced her groan-worthy sassy line from her first sketch, “If ya put up a fight, ya ain’t gettin’ on the flight”, with another equally groan-worthy sassy line: “If you wanna whine, you’re goin’ in the back of the line.”
— What’s with the Jungle Fever theme tonight? In the monologue, Tracy referenced Jungle Fever and sang the theme song from it, and now Maya’s Jackie character in this sketch hums the Jungle Fever theme song while filing her nails.
— This sketch is so dull that Kattan’s line flub “It’s not a letter… it’s not a package, it’s a letter” has made me chuckle more than a lot of the actual scripted material in the sketch.
— Now Parnell gets an unintentional chuckle from me with a line flub of his own: “This has got to the most…… LEAST organized government-run office in the city!”
— Julia is at least doing a good job with her sudden use of Ebonics when telling Jackie off.
STARS: **
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Jaded”
WEEKEND UPDATE
Arnold Schwarzenegger (DAH) tells why he should be California’s governor
David Copperfield [real] magically makes words appear on cue cards
— Uh-oh. Right out of the gate, we get technical snafus, as the news picture graphic doesn’t show up next to Jimmy (the first above screencap for this Update).
— And now, the graphics are screwing up throughout this Update in general. Quite distracting. Are the people in the control room doing a little St. Patrick’s Day celebration on the job, if you catch my drift?
— Jimmy now actually stops mid-joke and acknowledges how out-of-hand the graphics screw-ups are getting (the fourth above screencap for this Update).
— Darrell’s Arnold Schwarzenegger commentary is pretty funny, especially his whole bit about how, to make himself a natural born American, he would go inside a fat woman’s womb and come out head-first waving an American flag.
— Tina, after detailing the convoluted changes that different armies are each making to their berets: “In a related story, these guys need a war!” Be careful what you wish for, Tina, considering what ends up happening soon enough…
— Quite a lot of fun jokes from Jimmy and Tina tonight.
— A random David Copperfield cameo as SNL’s cue card guy.
— What exactly was the point of Copperfield’s whole bit?
— Tonight’s overall Update was the first somewhat normal-length Update in quite some time, though it still felt a little on the short side.
STARS: ***½
OLD HOLLYWOOD
in the 1920s, movie director Suel Forrester bewilders his cast & crew
— Wow, is this Will’s first appearance all night (not counting the rerun of the pre-taped Homocil commercial)? Very odd for him, but I guess that’s a by-product of tonight’s episode focusing heavily on the featured players.
— Surprisingly, this is the first Suel Forrester sketch in two seasons. This also ends up being the final Suel Forrester sketch.
— This sketch features the usual laughs that ensues from Suel’s unintelligible utterances and everyone’s confusion over them. I especially like the “Lick a turkey leg” bit.
— Parnell, when thinking Suel Forrester has called him a Jew: “Sir, I am not a Jew!…. anymore.”
— This Suel Forrester installment feels like it’s going on a little longer than it needs to.
STARS: ***
BEPPI & BUSHKA
immigrant janitor Beppi (RAD) trumps woes of office workers (ANG) & (MAR)
— Yet another featured player-dominated sketch tonight.
— Julia and Rachel’s immigrant characters relating Maya and Ana’s problems with their own far-worse problems that they experienced in their home country is providing some good laughs. Rachel is particularly funny in her performance and delivery here.
— Rachel’s whole rant about a particular horrible thing that once happened to her is very good, as is her eventually revealing that she stole it from a Lifetime movie.
STARS: ***½
THE DOBERMAN!
by Adam McKay- (WIF) receives house call from vicious dog
— Ha, I like the little detail of Saved By The Bell being heard playing from Will’s TV at the beginning of this.
— Hilarious randomness of some German nihilist-looking guy showing up at Will’s door and siccing a dog on Will.
— Will’s high-pitched screaming during one portion of the dog attack is absolutely slaying me.
— Great bit with Will forcing himself to jump off his balcony to escape the dog, only for the dog to actually jump off the balcony onto Will.
— The intentionally low-budget look to occasional portions of this film is adding to the humor.
— Very good reveal at the end that Will actually ordered a door-to-door doberman attack.
STARS: ****
APOLLO AMATEUR NIGHT
whitebread (host) plies cheerleader moves at Apollo Theater amateur night
— Maya continues to be very dominant in tonight’s episode.
— Maya’s mockery of the singing style of soulful female singers kinda feels like a precursor to her famous National Anthem sketch from later in her tenure.
— Ana and Parnell’s corny Wisconsin accents are fairly amusing.
— Tracy has a lot of funny little one-liners throughout this sketch.
— Not caring at all for where this sketch has been going once Julia’s character has taken the Apollo stage.
— Yeah, this sketch has taken a sharp turn for the worse. Not even Jerry in a somewhat-rare noteworthy comedic role is doing anything to save this sketch.
— And the sketch is now over. What was even the point behind this?
STARS: *½
WILLY SLUGGS’ EYE POPPERS
Willy Sluggs (JEM) pushes magic tricks in lame self-produced infomercial
— Wow, yet ANOTHER sketch tonight starring a featured player.
— Julia: “You may recognize me from earlier in this commercial.”
— Will managed to get a good laugh from his delivery of “Thank you for the cognac and grapefruit juice.”
— Unlike the preceding Apollo sketch, Jerry is really in his element in this sketch. I’m really enjoying his performance, his intentionally-stilted infomercial acting, and his character’s quirks, more than the audience seems to.
— The bad testimonials are pretty funny.
— During the occasional shots of the “Willy Sluggs’ Eye Poppers” title graphic, I love the voice-over saying “Eye Poppers! Haw, haw, hawww!”
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Big Ten Inch Record”
DER LACHELN BEHERRSCHT
German “smile masters” populate scary kids show
— Ooh, right out of the gate, we see that this is going to be a VERY bizarre and dark sketch. I’m already on board.
— I love the insane opening credits sequence, with the spooky-sounding German singing and the odd random photos thrown in.
— The German-accented skeleton singing an “I’m inside every one of you!” song to the frightened kids is hilarious, especially when you’re aware that that’s Tina Fey’s voice.
— Overall, I absolutely LOVE this sketch. One of the most hilariously fucked-up things that SNL has ever aired. I love that this sketch was basically just an excuse to throw in every bizarre, dark, and scary thing that the writers could come up with.
STARS: *****
HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY
for St. Patrick’s Day, Van Morrison (JIF) sings & overimbibes Guinness
— Hmm, a change of pace with this unusual segment on SNL’s home base stage.
— I’m not the right one to judge the accuracy of Jimmy’s Van Morrison impression, but considering celebrity impressions are one of Jimmy’s specialties, I’m assuming his Van Morrison impression is good.
— Ehh, a minute later, I’m not caring much for this sketch.
— Overall, no idea what to say, except that I didn’t laugh, though I kinda appreciate how Jimmy put his all into how wild he went at the end of this.
STARS: *½
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— An up-and-down episode. There was a little more good than bad, but this episode as a whole isn’t particularly noteworthy or memorable. It was interesting and pretty refreshing, though, how much SNL let the featured players (Rachel Dratch, Jerry Minor, Maya Rudolph) dominate this episode, something that I wish SNL wouldn’t be hesitant to try more often.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Conan O’Brien)
a step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Alec Baldwin