October 9, 1982 – Ron Howard / The Clash (S8 E3)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
Bureau of Weights & Measures requests viewers watch SNL with TV on lap

— Oh, so we’re back to doing those brief “disclaimer gag” cold openings that were rampant in the first half of season 7?
— What the hell? THAT’S the joke? Placing your TV set on your lap??? Man, even the season 7 disclaimer openings were funnier than this.
STARS: *


MONOLOGUE
being on SNL makes host feel liberated- he says bad words & drinks a Bud

   

— Knowing that it would soon become a regular thing in this era for hosts to make their monologue entrance through the door on the right side of this home base stage, it feels weird seeing Ron Howard randomly make his entrance through the left side, which doesn’t even have a door or anything.
— Love this premise with Ron eager to say and do things he was never allowed to do in prime-time.
— His choice of “bad words” are pretty funny.
— Wow, huge audience reaction to him drinking a beer. Judging from the shot of the crowd during that part, it looks like they were even about to give him a standing ovation before the camera cut away from them. (last screencap above)
— Fun monologue overall.
STARS: ***½


OPIE’S BACK
adult Opie Taylor (host) returns to seedy Mayberry; Andy Griffith cameo

         

— I like the details on the trashy current state of Mayberry 1982.
— Ha, Eddie does yet another impression of a white celebrity/character.
— Hmm, turns out Eddie’s Floyd isn’t quite as good as other “white impressions” that he has nailed, but I’m still liking his performance here.
— Great “Opie’s Back” twist.  I’m loving this whole premise.
— The cast is doing fun impressions of the Andy Griffith Show characters; I especially like Brad’s Gomer voice.
— Nice pre-taped guest appearance from Andy Griffith.
— Funny blooper with Ron mistakenly referring to Eddie’s Floyd as “Otis”, and then after being corrected, he saves himself with a great ad-lib (“I told ya I couldn’t recognize ya!”).
— Overall, I really enjoyed this Andy Griffith Show take-off.
STARS: ****


VELVET JONES ROMANCE NOVELS
Velvet Jones romance novels, including Kicked In The Butt By Love

— So much for Velvet Jones’ “retirement”, which he and fellow “overexposed” recurring character Paulie Herman announced in the Robert Conrad episode last season.
— Eh, I’m tired of these “Velvet Jones advertises a new book of his” sketches; they peaked too early with the classic first installment (“I Wanna Be a Ho”) and none of the subsequent installments have measured up. Tonight’s sketch is doing nothing for me.
— What the–? Is that season 7 SNL announcer Mel Brandt doing the voice-over at the end? I also couldn’t tell earlier if that was him or not as the voice-over in tonight’s cold opening disclaimer gag. If this IS indeed Mel Brandt, what’s up with that? I thought he was no longer employed with the show this season. Is tonight’s episode using leftover cut bits from season 7?
STARS: **


WHINERS
Doug & Wendy Whiner visit a doctor (host) to see about having a baby

  

— Ohh, god, here comes this season’s first appearance of the Whiners, easily my least favorite recurring sketch of this whole era (so far).
— I’m now a minute into this sketch and nothing in it has made me laugh at all so far.
— Okay, just now, I did like Ron’s “Alright, alright, just SHUT UP!” outburst.
— Another funny comment from Ron saying “They don’t allow babies in Puerto Rico”.
— Weak ending.
— Overall, this pales badly in comparison to the last Whiners sketch from the Danny DeVito episode, which at least had enough funny stuff from the various non-Whiners characters in the sketch to make it more tolerable than usual. Tonight’s Whiners sketch, on the other hand, had too little to work with.
STARS: *½


HARRY ANDERSON
Harry Anderson [real] shoves a hat pin through his forearm

    

— Nice opening trick with him turning a paper into a cigarette in a quick flash.
— Hmm, judging from Harry’s definition of “geek” (a circus freak who bites heads off of animals), that word had a VERY different meaning back then than it would later on. Now I finally understand that “the geek’s mouthwash” tagline from that sketch last season where Tim played Ozzy Osbourne advertising a mouthwash for fellow bat head-biters like himself.
— I like the audience gasping and screaming when Harry shows the needle stuck through his arm.
— OH MY GOD, that part with him moving the needle through his arm back and forth while blood oozes out… Jesus Christ, that looks WAY too realistic to be faked. Now I’m on the same page as the screaming and gasping audience members.
— Harry: “If your cat has kittens in the oven, you don’t call them biscuits, do ya?”
— Very funny ending with his “rabbit trick” just being him simply impaling a stuffed rabbit with a giant needle.
— Overall, even if some of the more gory aspects made me wince like crazy, this was another great Harry Anderson segment. In fact, I’d say that the gory aspects actually made this even better than his usual SNL appearances.
STARS: ****½


IN QUEST OF
Leonard Nimoy (JOP) In Search of Francis The Talking Mule; Rex Reed cameo

    

— Huge amount of make-up and prosthetics on Joe’s Leonard Nimoy impression. Joe looks completely unrecognizable.
— Interesting-looking pre-taped segment.
— I like the subtle gag with Joe’s Nimoy’s ears getting increasingly bigger and more Spock-like every time the camera cuts back to him.
— Overall, a pretty well-done film and a decent display of dry humor. Felt kinda like an early version of the type of brilliant pre-taped shorts the show would regularly do later this era in season 10; I can easily picture Harry Shearer in Joe’s role here.
STARS: ***


FOCUS ON FILM
Raheem Abdul Muhammed prefers “Opie Cunningham” to host

 

— I like Eddie referring to Ron as “Opie Cunningham”.
— I’m assuming the baby daughter that Ron mentioned here is the now-famous Bryce Dallas Howard.
— Eddie’s disbelief over Ron having sex is very funny.
— Fun part with Eddie leading the audience in a chant of “Opie Cunningham” so Ron will shave his mustache.
— Even though I kinda saw it coming, I got a decent laugh from Ron angrily telling Eddie “Sit on it, bucko!” before walking off, as well as Eddie’s frozen reaction to that.
— Loved Eddie’s “WHAT?!? Imma kill ‘im!” outburst after being told what “bucko” means.
STARS: ***½


SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS
angry MAG lists people who deserve to be out of work but aren’t
some before & after photos of celebrities’ plastic surgery
BRH apologizes for the incident in which he called James Watt a “slime”
Andy Rooney (JOP) gives his thoughts on the Middle East

        

— Wow, only 20 seconds into this Saturday Night News, and we’re ALREADY getting a guest commentary. Is this the record for earliest appearance of a guest commentary ever?
— Ah, the debut of the “Spitting-Mad Mary Gross” persona, which would go on to become a Saturday Night News recurring bit. Nice change of pace seeing Mary playing against type from her usual soft-spoken, kind demeanor.
— Very good delivery from Mary here, with her endless, rapid-fire listing-off of things that irk her.
— Brad’s Vietnam children/Bob Hope joke was really good.
— Hmm, Brad has begun a listing-off of celebrities that had cosmetic surgery. Uh-oh, is this a leftover Brian Doyle-Murray “long photo montage” segment from last season’s SNL Newsbreaks?
— Eh, I guess you can say this cosmetic surgery photo montage is different enough from the montages that Doyle-Murray used to do, and I did get a laugh from the “before” picture of both Barbra Streisand and David Letterman.
— Brad gives a sincere-seeming apology for yelling at James Watt on the phone back in the season premiere, then suddenly loses his temper and angrily punches a hole through the picture of Watt displayed on the news screen. Wow, can’t say I’ve ever seen an SNL anchorperson punch a hole through the news screen any other time. Can’t say this one made me laugh, though.
— After the overuse of Joe’s Andy Rooney impression last season, I’m not too excited to see him back tonight, though this IS his first time appearing on SNL’s news segment.
— Tonight’s overall Andy Rooney commentary didn’t end up being anything special. I feel like they’ve already done everything they can with this impression of Joe’s.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Straight to Hell”


HAIL TO THE CHIEF
Jimmy Carter (JOP) recalls Ronald Reagan’s uninterested White House visit

     

— First time we’ve seen Joe’s Jimmy Carter impression since the infamous season 6.
— Joe’s Carter impression now sounds even better than it used to. There’s more details in the vocal tics this time. I’d argue that his Carter voice now sounds almost as dead-on as Dan Aykroyd’s classic version.
— Hmm? Another “Hail to the Chief” sketch showing Reagan’s perspective? I thought I remembered hearing they only did these sketches in season 7. This won’t be the same without Tony Rosato there anymore to carry the sketch as Ed Meese.
— Kinda surprised this is Julia’s first appearance of the whole night. I had been wondering where she was tonight.
— Feels weird seeing a “meeting” of two presidential Joe Piscopo impressions.
— Joe’s Reagan’s method of “sounding presidential” is to simply say “Shut up!” That may have been unheard of for a president in 1982, but oddly enough, it would feel commonplace nowadays, considering who’s currently in the White House (as of 2019).
— The sketch is over already? Boy, this overall installment was pretty weak and paled badly in comparison to the season 7 “Hail to the Chief” installments.
STARS: **


COME ON OUT AMERICA
— A rerun from last season


SYLVESTER SCHOOL
an IRS agent (TIK) visits the Sylvester School of Speech Therapy

   

— Wow, even stranger than Julia making her first appearance fairly late in tonight’s episode is the fact that this sketch is the first time we’ve seen Kazurinsky all night. Very unusual for him.
— Gary’s doing a good Sylvester the Cat vocal imitation.
— Oh, turns out they’re ALL speaking like Sylvester.
— Heh, poor Tim, having to get repeatedly spit on throughout this sketch with everyone exaggeratedly lisping into his face. Even I’m starting to cringe for Tim.
— Haha, another instance of Eddie breaking character and laughing during a sketch. (last screencap above)
— This overall sketch probably didn’t look too funny on paper, but the performances made it a decent sketch.
STARS: ***


WHY
(host) asks a prostitute (ROD) why she hooks & gets plenty of reasons

   

— I almost thought this was going to be a quiet, semi-dramatic, Marilyn Suzanne Miller-esque slice-of-life sketch, especially after Robin’s “molested as a child” reveal (that line was quite dark for an SNL sketch). However, this now seems to be going in a more comedic, broad direction.
— LOL at Tim Kazurinsky, of all people, playing a pimp.
— What’s with Joe’s very fake-looking mustache? It looks almost as if it’s ready to fall off.
— Very weak punchline at the end.
— Overall, I didn’t care for this sketch at all.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Should I Stay or Should I Go”


NUKES ARE FOR KOOKS
in a small town, deterrence power of personal nuclear warheads fails

    

— Apparently, this is another sketch from the Practical Theatre Company that this season’s three new cast members (Brad, Julia, and Gary) brought with them to SNL.
— I assume that in the original PTC stage version of this sketch, Joe’s part was played by Paul Barrosse, who was Brad, Julia, and Gary’s PTC partner and also an SNL writer during this season.
— I like the odd concept of this sketch so far, casually carrying around huge nuclear warheads as a weapon.
— Interesting fourth wall-breaking PSA-type ending.
— Overall, a pretty decent closing sketch with some nice offbeat humor.
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS

 


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS:
— This is the first episode of the season that I wasn’t all that impressed by, though it certainly wasn’t terrible or anything. This episode started pretty strong with the strangely charming monologue and the epic “Opie’s Back”, but the show hit a brief rough patch immediately afterwards with a weak Velvet Jones followed by a damn Whiners sketch. The rest of the show afterwards was very hit-and-miss.
— Considering this was the third consecutive live episode, I can cut them a little slack, and I hope the next episode brings back the quality that I had been enjoying from season 8 before tonight’s episode.


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Louis Gossett Jr.):
— a somewhat big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW:

Howard Hesseman