May 7, 1994 – John Goodman / The Pretenders (S19 E19)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE 1994 NEW YORK GUBERNATORIAL DEBATE
New York governor hopefuls Mario Cuomo (PHH) & Howard Stern (MMK) debate

— Hmm, interesting casting of Melanie. This seems like the type of role that Julia would normally play.
— Fantastic Howard Stern impression from Michael. Easily the best thing he’s done during his SNL tenure so far.
— I always love Phil’s Mario Cuomo impression, but he’s just being used in a boring straight role here. I guess it wouldn’t be a season 19 episode without Phil Hartman being poorly utilized. Considering he’s playing the foil for Michael McKean in this cold opening, maybe this is intended to be a passing of the torch between the two of them.
— A pretty funny and accurate spoof of Stern’s behavior.
— An overall good sketch, but not quite as strong as I had remembered.
STARS: ***½


OPENING MONTAGE
— The theme music sounds quite different. The SNL Band would also use this different sound for the theme music in the following week’s season finale. Is this a sign of the SNL Band getting prepared for new SNL theme music next season?


MONOLOGUE
host comes clean to his mother about things he did as a kid

— John is sporting his dark Fred Flintstone-type hairstyle during tonight’s hosting gig, as he’s promoting the live-action Flintstones movie.
— He mentions in passing that this is his fifth time hosting. A shame they aren’t making a bigger deal of that.
— His confessions to his mother are not particularly funny so far.
— Okay, I finally got a laugh from a confession of his, with the one about grandma being kept locked in the basement.
— After a slow start, this monologue has been getting funnier. I like the bit regarding John’s mom once leaving him on the side of the highway when he was a kid.
STARS: ***


MAJESTIC CARIBBEAN CRUISE LINE
Rerun from 4/9/94


DOUBLE DATE
Captain Jim & Pedro go on a date with (host)’s daughters (MEH) & (SAS)
PHH asks for pledges to support Captain Jim & Pedro programming

— Did we need these characters returning after only TWO episodes? Also, why in the world is this the lead-off sketch of the night this time, especially when their previous appearance was in a more fitting spot late in the show?
— Much like these characters’ previous appearance, I’m not caring much for tonight’s installment so far. These sketches have the type of goofy charm that I usually get a kick out of, but like I said in my review of the first installment of this sketch, Adam’s silly-humored, goofy-voiced shtick has officially reached the point in his SNL tenure where it’s run out of steam for me.
— Nice continuity with Captain Jim mentioning recently getting hired at Foot Locker, which is a reference to the previous sketch these characters appeared in.
— I hate to ever criticize John Goodman, but he’s kinda bland as the straight man here. Kelsey Grammer made a much better straight man in the first installment of this sketch.
— I admit to smiling at Pedro’s ending line “A monkey will eat dirt… if you make him!” Don’t know why; it just made me smile. I guess as tired as I feel Adam’s goofy shtick has been starting to get at this late stage of his SNL tenure, there’s still an innocent charm left in it at times.
— The post-sketch bit with Phil doing a PBS-esque pledge drive is actually an improvement over the post-sketch bit they did with Michael McKean in the first Captain Jim & Pedro sketch. There’s some good humor in the fact that they’re holding such a big pledge drive for something as silly and mindless as a Captain Jim & Pedro piece.
— I love the visual of Phil wearing a goofy lobster hat while having that trademark straitlaced Phil Hartman smile (last screencap above).
STARS: **½


AMERICAN SPORTSMAN TODAY
Rush Limbaugh (CHF) & Ron Wood (MIM) hunt

— Mike’s unintelligible Ron Wood impression is cracking me up in this sketch. His impression works much better in a supporting role like this than in those terrible sketches they would later give him a starring role in the following season, where he interviews equally-unintelligible celebrities.
— Farley’s certainly no impressionist, but I kinda like his Rush Limbaugh.
— I got a good laugh from the visual of a cow blowing up.
— I love Phil-as-Charlton-Heston’s delivery of the line “Let’s clean it up and put it on the grill.”
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Night In My Veins”


WEEKEND UPDATE
DAS dislikes bands that have the balls not to play their hits at concerts

 

— Wow, this Update oddly starts with no audience applause AT ALL. Absolute dead silence in the studio.
— David, who’s apparently gotten tired of doing Hollywood Minute, debuts a new recurring Update segment in which he gripes about concerts he’s recently been to.
— I’m conflicted on David’s commentary. He has a lot of funny lines here, but I’m put off by his particularly lazy and half-assed delivery here, which is serving as an unwanted reminder of the bad, mailed-in performances he would often give in the upcoming season 20. I’m also finding his frequent “pure balls” comments in tonight’s commentary to be complete overkill. Still, he’s been making a lot of funny observations here.
— Kevin’s joke about Arsenio Hall retiring from his talk show to get some “stanky on his hangdown” has always been one of my personal favorite Kevin Nealon Weekend Update jokes of all time. Kevin has certainly had some struggles as an Update anchor over the years (especially this season), but that particular joke is a perfect use of his straitlaced, deadpan delivery. Not bad for what ends up being Kevin’s penultimate Weekend Update.
STARS: ***


REAL STORIES OF THE ARKANSAS HIGHWAY PATROL / COPS
Real Stories Of The Arkansas Highway Patrol- Bill Clinton (PHH) womanizes
Cops- Bill (PHH) & Hillary (JAH) Clinton are mum after a domestic dispute

 

— Interesting sketch, and I find the format fun. And as I mentioned in a recent review, it feels like a rarity in this era to see pre-taped outdoors footage (not counting fake ads).
— I love the camera zooming into Phil’s Bill Clinton gleefully giving the “okay” sign when Michael makes a woman he’s questioning bend over.
— A good laugh from Bill being heard sleazily saying his famous “I feel your pain” phrase while having sex with a woman in the back of a police car. Speaking of which, this entire scene (which involves Chris as a cop guarding a police car while Clinton and a woman are inside of it having sex) would later be removed from Comedy Central’s 60-minute version of tonight’s episode. My guess for the reason behind that removal is time reasons, because the sketch as a whole is quite long and Comedy Central probably needed a shorter version.
— Funny silent nervous facial expressions from Phil’s Bill throughout the phone call Rob takes from Hillary Clinton.
— And now we get a sudden turn with this segueing into a Cops parody. I’m enjoying how we’re getting two sketches in one, which feels like another rarity for SNL.
— I love the tense atmosphere in the domestic dispute scene with Bill and Hillary.
— Sadly, this would end up being the last of Jan Hooks’ frequent special guest appearances from seasons 18 and 19. Another sad last: this is the final appearance of Phil’s Bill Clinton impression, as tonight is Phil’s penultimate episode as a cast member. (*sigh*) What makes all of this hurt even more is knowing in retrospect what a HUGE misfire SNL’s attempt to replace the Bill and Hillary Clinton impressions the following season turns out.
STARS: ****


THEATRE STORIES
Christopher Walken (JAM) & Michael Caine (PHH) on panel

— Feels kinda late in the night for this recurring sketch to be appearing.
— This ends up being the final installment of this sketch, even though, unlike Phil, Mike isn’t leaving next week (though he certainly should be).
— Julia’s Dame Sarah Kensington character looks different than usual. Also, this is Julia’s first appearance of the whole night, pretty late in the show. Sadly, that’s common for her lately, though at least she’s actually playing a comedic role this time and isn’t just being wasted in yet another dull straight man role.
— Great to see Jay’s Christopher Walken impression finally become recurring.
— I loved the random “A man who needs no introduction” bit as the camera just shows John as an unknown character silently looking at the camera with his tongue goofily sticking out between his lips.
— Speaking of John, he actually appeared in a previous Theatre Stories sketch, but the character he played in that one is apparently different from the one he’s playing tonight, as both characters have a different name.
— This is the first time Phil’s funny Michael Caine impression has been seen in years. I think the Mary Tyler Moore episode from way back in season 14 was the last time it appeared.
— What was the point of Phil’s Michael Caine randomly sneezing in the middle of his story?
— Never mind; I see now that the point of Caine’s random sneeze was apparently so Mike’s character would imitate it when repeating the entire story that Caine had just told.
— I liked Jay’s Walken saying “That reminds me of a very funny story…..”, then just staying completely silent.
— This installment of Theater Stories has been featuring funny randomness as usual for these sketches, but there’s kind of a “been there, done that” atmosphere to this installment. Probably a good thing this ends up being the final installment.
STARS: ***


PLUCKY NINJAS
beaten, incompetent ninjas regroup & plan their next encounter

— I love the format of this. A good and fun ensemble piece. I’ve always felt this is an underrated sketch.
— A lot of funny lines in the guys’ suggestions.
— Hilarious reveal of Adam having a ninja star stuck in his forehead. I also like the facial reactions from Rob and Mike.
— I know some people are bothered by the extended use of movie stock footage at the end, in which a guy kicks the asses of an entire army of ninjas one-by-one, as some people feel that’s extreme laziness on SNL’s part (especially since the sketch also opened with different stock footage of a group of ninjas getting their asses kicked), but I personally have no complaints. At least this stock footage is entertaining, in a “cheesy 80s/90s ninja movie” way, and I feel it matches up with the live portion of the sketch humorously.
STARS: ****


PHILADELPHIA ACTION FIGURES
Another rerun tonight, this time from 2/5/94


IN HIS OWN WORDS
Michael Bolton (KEN) album contains non-original songs

— I always like Kevin’s Michael Bolton impression.
— Some good laughs from Bolton’s “original” songs just being another artist’s famous song with only one word changed.
— Pretty funny duet between Bolton and his “father” Nat King Cole.
— Good ending with Bolton “creating” the Happy Birthday melody by pressing random keys on a piano.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I’ll Stand By You”


FLINTSTONES NAMES
host explains how to convert regular names into Flintstones names

— The format of this, mainly the use of placards, reminds me a little of Tim Kazurinsky’s Dr. Jack Badofsky commentaries from the Dick Ebersol era.
— A few funny bits early on, like Sharon Stone’s Flintstones name being Sharon Miller, and the meta bit with Chris Farley’s Flintstones name being Chris Rock.
— After the two aforementioned funny bits, this sketch has lost steam FAST.
— John’s trying, but I can tell he knows this material is bad. This sketch is dying.
STARS: *½


TAXI TRIVIA
while (host) & (JUS) are in his cab, (ROS) talks of killer taxi drivers

— I love the disturbing premise, and I like the idea of Rob being cast as an unsettling-but-friendly character, but I’m being disappointed by the execution so far, which feels kinda flat and one-note.
— The sketch at least ended on a good note, as I absolutely loved the ending with the creepy close-up of Michael turning to the camera with a sinister smile. Michael’s had a strong night tonight in general.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A decent episode, especially compared to most episodes in the back half of this season. Not an outstanding episode, but I felt a lot of the sketches tonight ranged from okay to pretty good, and there were two sketches I felt strongly about (Plucky Ninjas and Real Stories of the Arkansas Highway Patrol / Cops). Even the Captain Jim & Pedro sketch, while still nowhere near great to me, was a little better than usual. The show ended on a disappointing note with two sketches that fell flat, but aside from that, the overall episode wasn’t weighed down too much by the usual season 20 warning signs that have been dragging down a lot of the latter season 19 episodes. John Goodman added his usual solid, likable vibe to the show.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Emilio Estevez)
a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Season 19 comes to an end, with host Heather Locklear. It’s also the end of the road for several cast members, including the amazing Phil Hartman.

December 13, 1986 – Steve Guttenberg / The Pretenders (S12 E7)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
Infidelscam- Iranians hold hearings on their part in arms-for-hostages

— Even though it was a cheap stereotypical middle-eastern joke, I got a laugh from the “oath” just turning out to be high-pitched foreign-dialect screaming. I think there was just something about the visual of A. Whitney Brown doing that that amused me.
— I like how the Iranians are speaking in VERY American accents.
— Haha, Phil is especially doing a very funny American accent.
— Damn, Phil’s delivery of his lines are particularly great here and are getting big laughs. He’s stealing the whole sketch.
— Pretty good cold opening overall.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host plays “War” on his tuba with SNL Band to show that he’s cool

— Steve’s high school reunion story had some laughs.
— I’m liking this performance of “War (What Is It Good For?)”, but again, I’m always a sucker for that song.
STARS: ***


MCSOOSHI
“America’s Eating It Raw” under the golden arches

 

— A very funny parody of McDonalds commercials, with sushi of all things being the subject of this jolly ad.
— Kevin’s brief testimonial was pretty funny.
— Great part with the cutaway to a Japanese guy in the restaurant just shrugging.
STARS: ****


DEREK STEVENS
a marketing expert (KEN) says Derek Stevens should die to help his career

— Dana’s Derek Stevens character becomes recurring.
— Wasn’t necessary to repeat the “Welcome to L.A…. private joke!” greeting from Phil’s character. That line was delivered much funnier in the original Derek Stevens sketch.
— I like the reveal that Phil and Kevin don’t want Derek Stevens to fake his own death; they feel he should genuinely die.
— The made-up song Stevens has started singing is using the same melody as his “The Lady I Know” song (the one with the legendary Choppin’ Broccoli chorus) from his first sketch.
— Yeah, this “My Teeny Little Woman” song he’s singing is paling BADLY in comparison to Choppin’ Broccoli. It’s nothing but a cheap knock-off. I always kinda hate when SNL does stuff like this, where they take something that was an unexpected big hit and then give it a sequel where they just lazily do a rewrite of the original script, hoping lightning will strike twice.
— Okay, they kinda won me back at the end of this sketch, with Stevens being given a new car that’s obviously set up to crash.
— Overall, there were laughs in the beginning and end of this sketch, but I took issue with the middle where they tried to replicate the success of the Choppin’ Broccoli number.
STARS: **½


BLIND MAN
a homosexual (host) poses as a woman to seduce a blind guy (JOL)

— Fairly funny how Steve is pretending to leave and then sneaks back into blind Jon’s bed.
— Jon’s “Oh! Oh!” reactions every time he realizes Steve is in his bed are cracking me up.
— Good part with Steve doing various voices when pretending the cops have arrived.
— The mock-PSA ending didn’t really add much to this.
— Not sure if I should like this overall sketch or not. I mean, I got laughs throughout it, but the homosexual subject matter feels questionable and touchy, to say the least. IIRC, this sketch received quite a lot of flack when it originally aired, and resulted in this overall episode not getting a rerun on NBC that season.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Don’t Get Me Wrong”


SIDESHOW OF THE STARS
Baboon Boy Casey Kasem (DAC) & other freaks

 

— Interesting use of Penn and Teller.
— Funny visual of Dana’s Casey Kasem as “Baboon Boy”.
— Nice to see Jan’s solid Sally Kellerman impression back.
— The debut of Phil’s classic Charlton Heston impression.
— Haha, holy hell at the priceless part with Phil’s Heston biting the fake chicken’s head off.
STARS: ***½


WEEKEND UPDATE
lengthy National Spelling Bee ends when (host) misspells “aiieeeee”
Babette likens repairing USA-France relations to apologizing to a lover

— Interesting cutaway to a spelling bee scene, which is basically coming off as a mini-sketch in the middle of Update.
— I like the unusual words Victoria and Steve have to spell.
— I didn’t get Dennis’ bit about cardboard cutouts.
— Nora’s Babette character makes her first appearance since last season.
— So far, tonight’s Babette commentary is going in the same direction as her last appearance, with her acting out another passionate phone conversation between America and France.
— Yeah, Babette’s overall commentary tonight didn’t work for me at all. Much like Derek Stevens, this is another example tonight of a recurring character treading the same old ground that was done better in their previous appearance.
STARS: ***


MOVIE TALK
host’s girlfriend’s parents’ (PHH) & (JAH) movie knowledge is limited

— Jan appears to be playing her Marge Keister character, but she seems to have a different last name in this.
— Not much on big laughs here so far, but this sketch has a nice low-key, slice-of-life feel, and I’m really enjoying the character work and interplay between Phil and Jan.
STARS: ***


PENN AND TELLER
Penn & Teller [real] perform The World’s Most Expensive Card Trick

 

— Fascinating set-up to the trick, and I like how Penn is being broadcast from outdoors (though I don’t know if that’s truly being performed live, or if it’s pre-taped).
— Clever way of broadcasting the couple’s card onto the Times Square jumbotron.
— Entertaining segment overall.
— IIRC, this ends up being the last time Penn and Teller ever appear on the show. Not only that, but I believe this also sadly ends up being the end of SNL’s tradition of bringing stand-up comics and comedy magicians onto the show as special guest performers. That tradition would end up making a one-night-only comeback years later in 1998 when a then-unknown Tenacious D performed their act on the show.
STARS: ***½


THE BACK PAGE
’30s newspaper reporters cover the less important stories

— Glad to see another black-and-white old-timey sketch with this cast.
— Man, this cast is so damn good at giving these 30s/40s-era sketches such an authentic feel with their delivery, demeanor, etc.
— Dana: “Why, I oughta pound you!”
— I like Phil’s penchant for coming up with catchy alliterate headlines off the top of his head.
— Pretty charming piece overall.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL GUEST INTRO

— Nice random continuation of the Movie Talk sketch, with Jan’s character briefly interrupting Steve’s musical guest intro to callback to something she had been trying to remember in the earlier sketch.


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “How Much Did You Get For Your Soul”


CASTING DIRECTOR
actress (VIJ) misreads casting agent’s (KEN) body language as cues

— I like how Victoria is outlandishly following Kevin’s misdirected hand gestures during his phone conversation.
— Good pratfall out the window from Victoria, all the while Kevin is completely oblivious.
— This felt like the type of short random sketch that would’ve appeared in an early episode from season 1.
STARS: ***


BOB ROBERTS
a profile of reactionary folk singer Bob Roberts (Tim Robbins)

 

— We suddenly get a random Tim Robbins-starring short film; one that would later be turned into a movie, which Robbins would host SNL to promote (and do a live sketch as the character during the episode).
— Robbins’ cigarette-smoking song was really funny.
— The “yuppie scum” comment from the rock-and-roll critic cracked me up.
— Another funny song from Robbins, this time about rich pride.
— Solid film overall.
STARS: ***½


AL-ANON
(PHH)’s high Christmas spirit is a symptom of alcoholism, says (NOD)

— Haha, great unexpected turn with this turning out to be an anti-drinking PSA. Excellent twist that gives Phil’s actions as the overly-generous father a different meaning in hindsight.
STARS: ****


CHRISSIE HYNDE AND BUSTER POINDEXTER
Chrissie Hynde & Buster Poindexter [real] perform “Rockin’ Good Way”


GOODNIGHTS


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS:
— An unremarkable episode, with nothing standing out as particularly strong (well, maybe McSooshi, but that’s just a short commercial). That being said, the show did have a consistent feel with mostly decent sketches, which at least made the episode still come off pretty enjoyable though nothing special.


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, and Martin Short):
— a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW:
William Shatner hosts the Christmas episode