February 19, 2000 – Ben Affleck / Fiona Apple (S25 E13)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

NIGHTLINE
Peanuts characters mourn the passing of Charles Schulz

— Feels like we haven’t seen Darrell’s Ted Koppel impression in a long time.
— Good to see another sketch with the cast playing Peanuts characters, after the classic Charlie Brown parody SNL did in the preceding season.
— I love the visual of Horatio’s Pig Pen.
— Franklin: “Back then, it was hard for a brother to get in the funnies. No one wanted to take the time to do the shading.”
— I love Rachel-as-Marcie’s scream while raising her head, after saying Peppermint Patty didn’t reciprocate Marcie’s feelings towards her.
— A pretty good laugh from the off-camera Nightline producer’s voice being represented by the “womp womp womp” voice that the adults in Peanuts always speak in, even if SNL already used that joke in the last Charlie Brown sketch.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
Gwyneth Paltrow [real] comes on-stage & steals spotlight from host

— A nice callback to Gwyneth Paltrow’s monologue from the preceding season, in which Ben Affleck made a cameo from the audience.
— A lot of fun barbs between Ben and Gwyneth, especially the whole bit about winning an Oscar. And like Gwyneth’s last monologue, both her and Ben are proving themselves to be good sports.
STARS: ***½


VICTORIA’S SECRET
Marisa’s boobs ask “what is desire”

— A silly but funny parody of real Victoria’s Secret ads from around this time.
— Good bit with the deep-voiced talking butt (or was that a crotch?) trying to interrupt, only to get cut off by the talking boobs.
STARS: ***½


BAND SHOT
G.E. Smith [real] plays guitar

— G.E. Smith’s back tonight!


MANGO
host pretends to be Matt Damon in order to get close to Mango

— At least this season managed to go through a month (January) without resorting to a Mango sketch, which is a big feat considering how much they’ve been overusing Mango this season.
— Mango: “Ben Who-fleck?!?”
— A good Talented Mr. Ripley turn, with Ben trying to pass himself off as Matt Damon.
— The stripping scene in the dark is pretty funny, as is Ben losing control and assaulting Mango on the floor.
— Overall, one of the better Mango sketches, mostly helped by Ben’s performance, even if his demeanor came off a little more smiley and jokey than his role required.
STARS: ***


DONNIE’S PARTY
Donnie Bartolotti’s (host) attentions toward Denise make Sully jealous

— I remember an old SNL review from 2000 pointing out that Ben seemed to be trying to emulate Adam Sandler in this sketch, right down to the Happy Gilmore-esque jersey he’s wearing. I can see it; he looks eerily Sandler-esque at some points of this sketch.
— After exclaiming the word “Irregahdless!” in a Boston accent, Jimmy cracks himself up.
— I love the parts with Rachel and Ben acting out rewinded scenes, especially the slow-mo scene.
— Now Jimmy has begun cracking up again, this time in response to Ben just saying “Bro” over and over to him, which I can forgive, as I’ve been enjoying Jimmy and Ben’s chemistry throughout this sketch. However, this sketch can be pinpointed as the official point in Jimmy’s SNL tenure where his frequent breaking started becoming noticeable.
— Denise: “Don’t hurt him! He’s got a haht murmuh!”
— Some laughs from Ben’s character and Sully listing off the goofy names of their friends.
— Overall, this has always been my personal favorite of the Boston Teens sketches.
STARS: ****


TV FUNHOUSE
“The All New Adventures of Mr. T” by RBS- Ibsen play is a chance to work

— Robert Smigel must be very busy, as we’re more than halfway through this season and this is only the fourth TV Funhouse of the season, which is a small number compared to the amount of TV Funhouses that appeared in the preceding three seasons.
— Very funny idea of a Mr. T-starring TV Funhouse, in the style of a typical 80s animated series, a style that Smigel is doing a dead-on emulation of.
— Mr. T: “I’m back! And I need work!”
— Some good laughs from Mr. T randomly throwing in out-of-place educational tips throughout this.
— The stiffly-animated corny fight scene is very funny.
— Mr. T: “If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don’t do milk, you can get work!”
— Great touch with the Charles Schulz tribute during the TV Funhouse closing credits, which leads into an SNL Band shot of Cheryl Hardwick playing a Peanuts tune on the piano.
STARS: ****


FRETTS FILM FORUM
small-town movie reviewers offer clever quotables

— I’m surprised that this is the first appearance all night for the usually-dominant Will Ferrell.
— Will: “Fantasia is fantas-great.”
— Some good laughs from the critics thinking Stuart Little is a real mouse and assuming he’s the same mouse from Mouse Hunt.
— Great bit with Will’s whole hand demonstration when talking about Richard Gere’s beautiful acting and comic timing.
— The critics’ increasingly bad puns and fawning over questionable movies are funny.
— I like it now getting to the point where the critics each give up after starting to really reach with their puns.
STARS: ***½


FANATIC
obsessive (host) wants Anna Nicole Smith (MOS) to be his mom

 

— A change of pace for this era.
— IIRC, director Paul Thomas Anderson was the one behind this pre-taped sketch.
— This is such a well-done and spot-on parody of the real Fanatic show on MTV, especially the visual look and camera angles.
— Even though it’s a very typical Molly Shannon moment, I howled at the intro shot of Molly’s Anna Nicole Smith, with her randomly yelling “I WILL KICK! YOUR! ASS!”
— Very funny visual of a braces-wearing Ben, especially him screaming on the floor when Jimmy is excitedly jumping on him.
— Funny concept with Ben wanting to get Anna Nicole Smith to adopt him.
— Nice touch at the very end, with Ben missing his elevator after speaking to the camera.
STARS: ****½


WEEKEND UPDATE
George W. Bush (WIF), John McCain (CHP), Alan Keyes (TIM) speechify

— We’re starting off with a LONG string of “George W. Bush is dumb” jokes from Colin.
— And now we go to a press conference with Will’s Bush. A nice change of pace for an Update segment.
— Ah, now we get a press conference with Parnell’s John McCain giving a concession speech, saying racist things about the Vietnamese.
— The whole scene with Tim’s Alan Keyes holding a press conference in an empty room is pretty funny.
— Short Update overall.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Limp”


SPARKS
salesman (host) is embroiled in Zimmermans’ sexy search for a used car

— After a weaker and somewhat off-putting installment of this sketch from the Heather Graham episode, there’s hopefully nowhere for this sketch to go but up.
— Ben’s performance as an Armenian car dealer is very funny, especially the slang he keeps using (e.g. “homesnakes”).
— Good bit with Cheri and Kattan occasionally honking the car horn to censor their expletives during their dirty talk to each other.
— Hilarious visual of Ben revealing his leopard skin speedo with an excessive amount of bushy pubic hair sticking out.
— Overall, not bad, and a definite improvement over the last installment.
STARS: ***


POLICE TRAINING
Sally O’Malley barges in on a police academy exercise training session

— I love Ben’s performance in this, especially the Chicago accent he’s doing.
— Meh, I can certainly do without the return of the Sally O’Malley. I know this character has her defenders, but she simply does not work for me. Sure, SNL changes the scenery in every Sally O’Malley sketch, unlike with Molly’s similar Helen Madden character, but that’s not enough to make Sally O’Malley funny or less one-note to me. To me, these sketches have always epitomized the decline Molly took as a performer in her later seasons.
— The ending fight scene is kinda entertaining, at least.
STARS: **


TRILOCAINE
Trilocaine treats your dandruff & induces horrific hallucinations

— Very funny how the listed-off side effects quickly go from typical minor things to a very unsettling long description of insane hallucinations.
— I like how this has kind of a Deep Thoughts vibe.
STARS: ****


WHO WANTS TO BE GROPED BY AN ELEVEN THOUSAND-AIRE?
(host) paws (CHK)

— A very funny idea for a parody of FOX’s Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionaire show from around this time.
— Yet another great characterization from Ben tonight, who’s redneck performance in this is priceless.
— Funny how the prize is getting groped in the back of a rusted-out Maxima.
— Good bit with Ana regarding an alleged TV show she was in called Showering With Bill.
— After one particular thing Ben says towards Kattan, we get an amusing brief close-up of Kattan mouthing what appears to be “What the fuck?”, which the audience catches.
— Odd how this is the second sketch tonight with Ben sexually assaulting Kattan, after the Mango sketch.
— A pretty funny blooper at the end where Will accidentally trips on the floor when walking over to Cheri and Ana.
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A consistently solid episode, and the best episode in a good while. Minus Sally O’Malley, the show had an endless run of good sketches, some of which stood out as great. Even the Mango sketch managed to be decent. Ben Affleck was a very strong host in this first hosting stint of his, immediately showing the chops to become an eventual five-timer.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Julianna Margulies)
a mild step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Joshua Jackson

November 16, 1996 – Robert Downey Jr. / Fiona Apple (S22 E6)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

DOLE IMPRESSION
Bob & Elizabeth Dole [real] convince NOM it’s time to stop his impression

— This feels like Part 2 of the piece from the last episode where Norm’s Bob Dole sketch was interrupted by Lorne telling him that SNL no longer has any use for his Dole impression.
— A cameo from Bob Dole, fresh off his election loss.
— When telling Norm and Dole he’s leaving, Lorne uncontrollably starts cracking up for whatever reason. It’s quite a funny visual.
— One of the better instances of SNL’s “cast member meets the celebrity they impersonate” trope.
— Some really funny and charming back-and-forths between Norm and Dole. And you can tell Norm is having a good ol’ time during this.
— Great line from Dole telling Norm that his Dole impression is merely an impression of Dan Aykroyd’s Dole impression.
— Even the cliched “celebrity talks like their impersonator while complaining that their impersonator sounds nothing like them” trope is coming off okay here.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
RDJ’s slide show documents his summer vacation run-ins with the law

— Boy, it feels weird seeing an older Robert Downey Jr. hosting SNL about half a year after I had reviewed his unsuccessful season 11 stint as a cast member.
— Robert mentions that he was invited back as part of SNL”s “Distinguished Alumni” series.
— Some good self-deprecating humor with Robert showing slides from his “summer vacation”.
— A funny brief dig at Kelsey Grammer.
— Overall, short and sweet.
STARS: ***½


BOWLING TOURNAMENT
Craig dissuades Arianna from stuffing her bra to just to attract (RDJ)

— What’s with the dead silence from the audience during the Cheerleaders’ entrance? I thought these characters were popular.
— I like the Ike and Tina Turner cheer from Craig and Arianna.
— I love Will’s delivery of his repeated exclamations of “You’re not the boss of me!”
— I’m surprised by how much I’m actually kinda enjoying this Cheerleaders installment.
— Pretty funny sequence with the Cheerleaders beating up Robert.
— Nice turn that Robert’s character takes with his emotional breakdown.
— Overall, I surprisingly enjoyed this better than most Cheerleaders sketches.
STARS: ***


CLINTON THANKS AMERICA
Bill Clinton (DAH) thanks the very few Americans who truly supported him

— Feels odd seeing a President Clinton address-to-the-nation sketch airing in the middle of an episode. I’m sure this normally would’ve aired as the cold opening, but SNL understandably wanted to put Bob Dole’s huge cameo up front.
— Pretty funny how Clinton uses mathematics to whittle the number of people who actually voted for him down to one person.
STARS: ***


PRESS CONFERENCE
Evander Holyfield [real] takes over Don King’s (TIM) press conference

— Good to see the return of Tim’s insanely-tall-haired Don King impression. I still don’t know how they’re able to keep that tall wig in place without it tipping over whenever Tim turns his head even slightly.
— Also good to see the return of Tracy’s hilarious Mike Tyson impression.
— A lot of big cameos tonight, with us now getting an appearance from Evander Holyfield, fresh off his heavyweight championship win.
— Funny bit with Tim’s Don King immediately changing his tune about Holyfield after noticing Holyfield is standing right behind him.
— A lot of laughs from Tim-as-Don-King’s backing statements throughout Holyfield’s speech, especially Tim’s King saying “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”.
STARS: ***½


TV FUNHOUSE
“Fun With Real Audio” by RBS- players from the O.J. trial are interviewed

— After the opening scene with Mark Fuhrman trying to put the moves on Diane Sawyer, we get a funny turn in the second scene, with Barbara Walters being the sexual predator during her interview with Robert Kardashian.
— Hilarious part with a white Bronco being seen driving past the house after bullets shoot through Robert Kardashian’s window.
— This cartoon is as priceless as these Fun With Real Audio cartoons have typically been so far.
STARS: ****


MR. MUSIC
deejay Mr. Music (RDJ) plays inappropriate songs at a wedding reception

— Interesting casting of Jim as a middle-aged father, as he doesn’t usually play that type of role, probably due to his youthful looks.
— I like Robert’s passing mention of having his name changed from Knife Tit to Mr. Music.
— An overall pretty short sketch, but funny enough, and there were some laughs from all the inappropriate music being played at the wedding reception.
STARS: ***


STREET GANG
(NOM) doesn’t go for his fellow gangmembers’ West Side Story-like antics

— An all-time memorable sketch and one of Norm’s best performances.
— I love Norm’s “What the hell was that?!?” after Robert first randomly breaks out into song.
— Another great questioning from Norm, with him asking “How’d you come up with a song so fast?” after Robert and Will perform a perfect number that was supposedly unrehearsed and spontaneous.
— Hilarious sarcastic song title suggestion from Norm: “While You Were Singing, I Got Stabbed In The Head By A Puerto Rican”.
— Why did Colin Quinn not receive his featured player credit during the opening montage earlier tonight? He has a prominent role in this sketch. Maybe they only credit him when he does an Update commentary or stars in his own sketch.
— I like Cheri as the little boy.
— During his solo confrontation with the rival gang, I love Norm’s panicked reactions when each of his fellow gang members enter the fight one-by-one doing a little dance.
STARS: *****


WEEKEND UPDATE
Bob Dole [real] preempts a joke NOM had planned to tell about him

— Huge, and I mean HUGE audience applause for Norm at the beginning of this Update. It goes on so long that it even overlaps into Norm’s first joke. This has been a big night for Norm in general, even before this Update, between his memorable meeting of Bob Dole and the classic Street Gang sketch.
— Some particularly wild jokes from Norm tonight that are getting the audience riled up.
— Interesting ending to this Update with Bob Dole interrupting Norm’s joke about him, and both of them ending up walking off together to have a beer.
— Random observation: this season’s Updates have been really light on guest commentaries.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Shadowboxer”


THE DELICIOUS DISH
Margaret Jo (ANG) & Terry (MOS) are as bland as recipes on their NPR show

— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring character debut!
— Between The Culps making their debut in the last episode and Delicious Dish making its debut tonight, newbie Ana Gasteyer is quickly establishing what would go on to be some of her biggest recurring sketches. And both The Culps and Delicious Dish are well-done low-key sketches that I really appreciate, even if they’re not going for laugh-out-loud humor. Both sketches also represent the maturity and classiness that I’ve always felt Ana brought to SNL. A welcome counter to the wild, loud, over-the-top, catchphrase-driven performances that typically dominate this era.
— Some really good laughs from Ana and Molly’s excited soft-spoken discussion about such mundane things.
— I like Mark as a caller saying that he’s going to cancel his trip so he won’t miss the Delicious Dish’s upcoming thrilling two-part episode about salt.
— I’ve been saying this a lot in this episode review, but this overall sketch was short and sweet. (I wonder if the number of short sketches tonight is the reason why this episode feels like it has more sketches than usual.) This debut of Delicious Dish felt a little simplistic compared to most subsequent installments of this sketch (probably because there was no guest being interviewed), but it was still a solid debut.
STARS: ***½


FIRST KISS
at Melanie’s make out party, Mary Katherine Gallagher gets her first kiss

— Needless to say, it feels awkward seeing Mark’s Kids In The Hall character Melanie making her second SNL appearance, after her very notorious first SNL appearance with Chris Elliott.
— Very odd how a Mary Katherine Gallagher sketch is being buried so late into the episode.
— I like Will’s line “7 minutes in heaven! Whoo! I have no idea what that is…”
— Some realistic awkwardness during MKG and Robert’s conversation together inside the closet.
— Wow, a wild and raunchy make-out session between MKG and Robert. Hmm, is that why this MKG sketch was buried in an unusually late spot in the show?
— Overall, this felt very different from most MKG sketches, but was decent enough.
STARS: ***


THE STREETS OF L.A.
(RDJ)’s anti-drug tirade seems directed at someone

— I love Robert’s facial expression when an angry Norm asks if he can imagine anyone needing cocaine to get through the day.
— Ah, this turns out to be a “host spoofs themselves by playing a character who’s the exact opposite” sketch, in a similar vein to the sketch with George Steinbrenner playing a boss who doesn’t like firing his employees, only this one is even more meta.
STARS: ***


MILSFORD SPRING WATER
Milsford Pure Spring Water is so good, you’ll want to form a lynch mob

— I absolutely love the increasing darkness as we see the process of a lynch mob from Milsford killing the citizens of the rival town. A lot of hilarious details here.
— A very funny reveal at the end that this incident happened only 107 days ago, after this commercial made it seem like this incident was from many decades ago.
STARS: ****½


SHOPPING AT HOME NETWORK
Don West (WIF) & Eddy Lewis (CHK) hard sell Shaq Plaque to home shoppers

 

— The debut of a short-lived recurring sketch. I’ve always loved this particular installment of this sketch, and it seems to be well-remembered among quite a number of SNL fans in general.
— Freakin’ hilarious characterizations from Will and Chris.
— Will and Chris’ exaggerations of various things about the Shaq Plaque are killing me.
— Will: “Kirk Cameron just called, and he even can’t get through!”
— Great turn with Will and Chris suddenly advertising the pistol that Chris threatens to shoot himself in the head with.
— Funny running bit with Robert’s character always being shoved out of the scene.
STARS: ****½


GOODNIGHTS


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Another pretty solid episode from season 22. What a nice turnaround this season has recently taken, after a shaky first three episodes. I enjoyed every single sketch tonight, and two of my most fondly remembered sketches of the entire season came from this episode alone (Street Gang and Shaq Plaque). Robert Downey Jr. was much better in his performances tonight than he was during his cast member stint in season 11, showing that the problem with him as a cast member may not have necessarily been that he was an ill fit for the show like some of his castmates, but that he was simply too young at the time (20 years old). Makes me wonder how Joan Cusack and Anthony Michael Hall would’ve fared if they, like Robert, had ever hosted the show when they were older and more experienced.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Chris Rock)
about the same


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
The fourth of five consecutive episodes hosted by a former cast member. This time, it’s Phil Hartman.